Just Online Dating Things

Tales of my online dating experience as honest as my Tinder profile.

[justonlinedatingthings]

It's me

Yo yo yo. Just a quick intro about what is even happening here:

I first signed up for an online dating app in April of 2017. I didn't know what I was getting into, nor was I prepared for the amount of weird shit I'd experience as a result.

I always thought about starting a blog, so I screenshotted EVERYTHING. Every weird, creepy, funny, gross, and awkward interaction. And then my phone ran out of storage so sadly, it all had to go.

I took some time off from swiping, but I'm back baby! So buckle up, hang on tight, and prepare yourself to cringe your way through what can only be described as #justonlinedatingthings.

[negat0ry-deactivated20150104]

illustrated police news from 1898

[equalistmako]

seeing Beauty and the Beast in hyper-realistic CGI has forced me to re-evaluate the entire concept of the movie. Like the whole “talking furniture” thing was adorable & COOL in animated-form, but in reality it’s like a fuckin horror movie. You’re trapped in a place where cups have EYES and literally anything could’ve been an ex-person. That spoon you just licked clean? A person. That chair you’ve been sitting on? Practically someone’s LAP. That toilet in your bathroom? Oh-ho-hooo bOY DO I HAVE SOME NEWS FOR YOU.  

  W E L C O M E   T O    T H  E    H E L L   C A S T L E 

[bustnuttington-deactivated20151]

trying to make me jealous is the worst way of attempting to get my attention because ill just assume you don’t actually like me that much and that you’d be happier w/ someone else so ill leave you alone because i don’t like competing for affection and wish you the best in whoever you pursue instead

[karmaaa-aaa]

lmao seriously tho

[cassercole]

toooooo real 

[the-dodo]

This cat is DETERMINED to nap in his hammock.

[sushinfood]

i believed in this cat and was not let down

[tchotchkez]

HE DID IT

[lightfulfillment]

im not black so i won’t speak over y'all but i will gladly stand next to, behind, or with y'all. anything i can do.

[st-pam]

[retrogamingblog]

[confirmance]

do you ever like randomly wake up in the middle of the night check your social networks then go back to sleep 

[birdnormal]

show me the roundest cat

[foolishdeadbeat]

[swagintherain]

Might as well say “Whites Only”

[dongoverlord]

sometimes I get so jealous of other people’s social skills. like damn. they can talk to people?? and people like them?? look at all those people who like them. wtf. illegal

[bellaxiao]

Self-defense? He’s 6 years old ffs…I can’t

[daughterofthestars]

More infuriating info:

The boy is autistic

The boy and his father were in a truck

The father stopped the vehicle and raised his arms to show he was unarmed

ONE OF THE ARRESTED OFFICERS WAS ACTIVELY STALKING THE FATHER’S FIANCE

They are trying to claim self defense AND claim they didn’t know there was a child in the truck

They fired “no less than 18 rounds” into the truck

The father was hit but still alive. The boy ended up being shot in the head multiple times.

There is bodycam footage of the incident and every official/lawyer that has seen and spoken on it has called it horrific.

[labias]

[deactivated6022607-deactivated2]

omfg

[micdotcom]

Watch: Comedian Adam Conover just obliterated every stereotype about millennials in one presentation.

[matvrity]

I like this guy a lot

[thebestoftumbling]

[biculturalist-deactivated201612]

What language is this