i love photography i love art i love losing myself in books and going to exhibitions and the cinema and walking through cities and i love architecture and learning about history and no one will ever take that away from me
He's such an unreliable narrator that it's easy to ignore just how AWFUL his life was.
His life was so terrible that when the Sealed God's test needed to pick a happy memory from his past, it picked the one point in time where he couldn't remember anything. And turns out, that's when some of the people he trusted tried to murder him. That was tHE BEST MEMORY THE SEALED GOD COULD FIND???? THE NONEXISTENT ONE???????? WITH THE MURDER???????????????
He was so deep in the guilt of causing his hyungs' death that when the god of death basically outright said "yeah, you were supposed to die but they died instead" Cale went "that makes perfect sense" and moved on
And then he was FINALLY healing from the guilt (LSH telling him it's not his fault, him finally crying, don't even get me started) and then he learns about the curse!! Like guess what!! It actually WAS your fault!! Every single death of your loved ones was your fault!! I feel like we gloss over what a HORRIBLE sucker punch to the heart that must've been, because Cale just accepts it. Somewhere in his mind he had already connected the dots of him losing everything he cherishes. He's not stupid. They've done studies where people will unconsciously draw from decks that have been stacked with better cards. Their brain makes the connection, but all they see it as is a hunch. KRS knew he was cursed, he just didn't have the background knowledge to explain it. I'M SOBBING DO YOU SEE ME SOBBING
His favorite thing is "slacking" which we know from interludes is just him basically lying completely still for a month straight slowly sinking deeper and deeper into lethargy. That is not healthy. It's actually horrifying that THAT is his favorite thing to do. Because everything else ends up in pain. BECAUSE HE WAS CURSED. Like--forget about Record for a second (though that is also incredibly awful) and just think about it. If he did anything fun, it would be destroyed because he liked it. The curse isn't just about people. My boy had no positive emotions, so his favorite thing to do is stay still and stare off into space. MY POOR BABY AUUGHHHHVHGHVHVHVHV
If I were Cale I would be crashing out. I think I would've just snapped. Killed the WS and then screamed to anyone who would listen about that curse. Because AAARGHGHGH
At least the curse is broken now, right? He has his family and he can move on and not dwell on the past. Let it fade away along with the hurt. Except it WON'T BECAUSE HE CANNOT FORGET ANYTHING.
Cale genuinely might be the most tragic character ever in fiction just because of that two hit combo of the curse and record. In fiction I can find orphans, apocalypse survivors, even people who have lost everyone, but none of them compare to the horrifying mess that is the GoD curse plus record.
Fuck hostile architecture, I want unhostile architecture. I want benches to be designed to be as easy as possible to sleep on. I want little places for pigeons to nest to be purposefully put on buildings. I want people designing public spaces to think about what they'd be like to skateboard on. I want "Please loiter" signs. I want people to be kind. I want...
me holding a gun to a mushroom: tell me the name of god you fungal piece of shit
mushroom: can you feel your heart burning? can you feel the struggle within? the fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. you cannot kill me in a way that matters
me cocking the gun, tears streaming down my face: I’M NOT FUCKING SCARED OF YOU
My emotional support songs for the start of the school year (my "liked" Spotify playlist was on shuffle) that I showed to a fellow classmate doomed to the same fate as me
Tags: @dokjas-lostselfpreservation @ventiilatte @sakuraswifee @momhwa1117 + open tags
I can’t wait for you to read ORV bc it is prime for crossover content
Like, you can make literally anything work with it. Plus crossover ships are an ORV tradition. We need Kim Dokja to be fucked stupid by everyone who possibly can
Very excited. We all know I love a crossover and a man who will sacrifice himself for any reason at all despite many people actively begging him not to.
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