I haven’t posted anything talking about them in quite some time beyond a few casual mentions. A long time, in fact. There is a reason, however, why I’ve stopped talking about it publicly as well as sharing anything personal. Actually, scratch that, I have a few reasons.
1) This is a big one: It gives them credit. My stalker sees it as a win if I talk about them. No ifs, ands, or buts, about it. Even bad attention is good attention to them, which is why they continue to stalk me and have done so for the last 3-4 years. They continue to try to find anything they can use to their advantage to say “Aha! Gotcha!” when really, there is no gotcha, they’re just trying to rile me up. This doesn’t mean that I don’t want them to stop. Of course I do. But begging for a shred of decency at this point is not going to happen and will only fuel it more. No matter what moves I make, they’ll continue to to stalk and harass me. So the only way I can win at their game is to stop playing. In fact, I’m pretty sure this post would probably be seen as a W but this will be the last time I talk about it because it will continue to reward this kind of behavior.
2) My stalker will never be held accountable. They will continue harassing me even though I’ve tried just about everything to get them to stop. That being said, I’ve definitely become more aware of what I say and how it can be perceived. Because it’s not just what I meant, if a portion of what I said can be taken out of context, it can be made to seem like something else. That’s enough for them. That’s how careful I have to be. There are some RP partners that have either showed concern, some decided they didn’t care, and other partners that just simply left flat out. All because I didn’t take the narrative. I didn’t tow the line. And so, because they dislike what I said about them 3-4 years ago, and they are still obsessing over it, they took the opportunity to try and get RP partners to drop me. I’ll be fine. I can always get new partners. Congratulations, you got one or two ex-partners convinced because you’re mad about what a website or a person says about you. I’d be lying if I saw all this going on and said that this didn’t cause me enormous anxiety. I’ve been seeing dark circles under my eyes because I have not been sleeping well. My partners can attest to some of the late night conversations I’ve been having with them. Being harassed like this is a lot of stress, and it’s to the point I have to take sleep aids now.
3) My stalker clearly doesn’t have anything going on in their life. They have no real responsibility. This is why they’re so desperate to nitpick at mine. At this point, I’m not going to try and participate in it because I have participated in it whether I realize it or not. I’ve never called for their partners, but my participation in whipping up the mob doesn’t help. Where is the mob that drove off the people I knew? Where are all the people that said terrible things about them? There’s no “whoopsie doopsie I was wrong! A person’s dead, but so what? It happens! I guess I was wrong! Maybe it wasn’t as big of a deal as I thought it was!” That’s what a lot of them end up realizing. “Maybe someone’s opinion about something I like and they don’t isn’t that important to me.”
There needs to be accountability for these people that run and ruin someone’s life. Look at what’s happened to countless others who have been cancelled incorrectly. People have lost it all over shit like this. People have lost jobs, income, and whole careers out of this. Why? Because people like my stalker believe that their opinion matters.
I hope my current and returning partners know that I really appreciate them. I hope that you all continue to write with me. I’m going to try to add a little more nuance to what I write, and I hope you all appreciate that.
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