low activity dash tate langdon as used to cope by lion ; drawn from personal horrors ; extremely trigger heavy ; ANTI AHS APOCALYPSE BECAUSE THAT WAS SOME BULLSHIT.
“ If I touch a burning candle, I can feel no pain. ”
some fucking meme.
tw abuse mention, assault mention, implied abuse, implied violence, blood, self harm, mutilation, implied rape, slurs. this isn’t something to read lightly nor absentmindedly.
‘ then fucking sleep in a burning goddamn fireplace, vivian! ’ he spits, feeling the utmost of nothing as it eats away at him, has been for 20 fucking years. he hates this goddamned house, these goddamned people, this sense of righteousness and comfort with the way things are, only ever able to pretend he feels this kind of shit, because he doesn’t get to. feel no pain. you want a fucking medal for it? you want a sympathy fuck? kudos to you, you special fucking goddamned snowflake. god, he almost wants to skin her alive, see if she doesn’t feel that either. always with that fucking look, like she still feels something. maybe he’s just been dead too long. maybe he wasn’t ever alive to begin with, but he can’t even feel angry about that either. just selfish. always selfish. always pretending to be something he’s not; angry, emotive, a decent person. he’s a disgusting little boy, curling his fists too tight for comfort, unable to feel it as he practically digs up his palms, feeling the skin as it curls under his nails, bleeding whatever sad, black substance still runs in his body, be it blood or rat poison. either way, it sizzles, inhaling sharp through his teeth, wanting to hit her and ask her again if she can feel it, wanting to punch her in the throat, wanting to pull her hair and ask does it hurt, vi? huh? DOES THIS FUCKING HURT? nothing is stopping him, but nothing really compels him to do so, because he just can’t feel a fucking thing.
are you done having a goddamn tantrum now?
he eventually pulls back, leaning against the counter more definitively now, unclenching his fists where he can still peel back the skin on one hand with his nails before raising it to his mouth and tearing the rest of it off between his teeth, spitting it out at her feet with his hand now bleeding profusely, but he doesn’t care. if he could love it, he would, only ever feeling the muscles twitching, his hand now slick with blood, dripping onto the floor. later he’ll do it again and he’ll smear it all over her bedroom, and maybe violet’s too. rub the smell all over the dead girl’s sheets, remind vivian’s husband that he’s here, that he fucked her, too. he’ll fuck this whole family over, unable to do or feel anything other than simply watching for the rest of all their miserable, damnable not-lives.
‘ you miserable goddamn bitch, ’ he sniffs, his teeth raw with his own blood, smearing it as he grips the counter edge. he likes to confront her in the kitchen, if only because she might trip and fall on whatever mess he’s made of himself.
anyways whatever bullshit is going on in ahs regarding tate’s arc is entirely inconsequential to whatever this blog ends up becoming on account of I Hate It and the happy ending bullshit between tate and violet is genuinely disgusting and i want no part of it. viol*te is not welcome here, do not approach me about it, and, frankly, please don’t follow me if you support it.
i don't make it a point to be here on a regular basis but the mom and i were just discussing ahs in regards to how good hotel is and i had mentioned that tate was due to return in apocalypse as well as evan's more recent interview, which brings me to my next point: i fucking hate that ryan murphy decided to bring tate back. i'm not happy about it in ANY way shape or form, and regardless of whatever transpires within the current season between tate and violet, i want to make it very clear that i Fucking Despise Tate And Violet, if only because tate reminds me so much of the guy i dealt with in high school, but it is Not welcome here At All. any instances of tate and violet are with the intention that tate knowingly manipulated her and was actively abusive, let alone the fact that he literally r*ped her mother. i will not write tate and violet as anything other than what it is, and i refuse to indulge in the ship name alone. violation isn't funny or cute. nothing about tate is either. he hates vivian and he hates violet for the most part, too.
just a psa while i don’t have my rules or much of anything set up but the primary focus of this blog is for me to be able to reconcile a lot of bad shit that happened to me in high school and a lot of that will be reflected in tate with how i choose to write him as a very demonic creature with dwindling humanity because of how he acts and responds and how i’ve chosen to use him as a healthier means of coping with heavy trauma. if things like assault, violence, alcohol, r*pe mention, necrophilia and mention of school shootings bother you like they do me, please do yourself a favour and don’t follow this blog. i don’t plan on following a lot of people here myself and honestly this is a test run to see if it proves beneficial to coping with some of my trauma, and might very well result in me deleting if it proves to be too much. thank you for your time and patience.
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