Texts of a Warrior Chick

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Fenris, your capslock button is on.: To: Everyone

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Fenris, your capslock button is on.: To: Everyone

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Stop sending me notifications about sales on pants. I DON’T DO PANTS. YOU ALL KNOW THIS.

WHO HAS…

You dirty tease.

……….

Just how I like it.

PANTS ARE OVERRATED. KAHR HASN’T LET ME WEAR THEM ALL WEEK. IT’S BEEN GREAT.

You don’t say?

………………

I’ll be right over.

GRRRRRRRL….

I WILL GUT YOU LIKE A FISH IF YOU TOUCH HIM PIRATE!

(sent from my iTaint)

What? You’re invited to join.

WAIT, WUT?

That didn’t sound like a “no” to me…..

I'LL MAKE THIS EASY FOR YOU, PIRATE.

NO.

(sent from my iTaint)

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Fenris, your capslock button is on.: To: Everyone

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Fenris, your capslock button is on.: To: Everyone

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Stop sending me notifications about sales on pants. I DON’T DO PANTS. YOU ALL KNOW THIS.

WHO HAS…

You dirty tease.

……….

Just how I like it.

PANTS ARE OVERRATED. KAHR HASN’T LET ME WEAR THEM ALL WEEK. IT’S BEEN GREAT.

You don’t say?

………………

I’ll be right over.

GRRRRRRRL....

I WILL GUT YOU LIKE A FISH IF YOU TOUCH HIM PIRATE!

(sent from my iTaint)

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I had BETTER not see you making a drunken disturbance like last time.

I don’t care how much you ask, if you lose your pants this time I’m not helping you find them.

WHY IS THIS IN MY INBOX?

…

(sent from my iTaint)

Blast, did I hit the…

…….I do not need to know your personal affairs, Warden.

Just, don’t get into trouble. As you know, I’m a busy man.

I HAVE AN IDEA! KAHRIN, DON’T YOU THINK CULLEN SHOULD JOIN US?? HE NEEDS LIKE HE COULD USE A FEW BREWS.

…No…Noooooo no no I couldn’t possibly……….

I LOVE THIS IDEA! PLEASE COME OVER TO THE VIGIL, CULLEN! SAY YOU’LL COME! PLEASE!

(sent from my iTaint)

…….Ehh…………fine. But don’t tell Meredith.

THIS NIGHT IS GOING TO BE FUCKING EPIC!

(sent from my iTaint)

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I had BETTER not see you making a drunken disturbance like last time.

I don’t care how much you ask, if you lose your pants this time I’m not helping you find them.

WHY IS THIS IN MY INBOX?

…

(sent from my iTaint)

Blast, did I hit the…

…….I do not need to know your personal affairs, Warden.

Just, don’t get into trouble. As you know, I’m a busy man.

I HAVE AN IDEA! KAHRIN, DON’T YOU THINK CULLEN SHOULD JOIN US?? HE NEEDS LIKE HE COULD USE A FEW BREWS.

…No…Noooooo no no I couldn’t possibly……….

I LOVE THIS IDEA! PLEASE COME OVER TO THE VIGIL, CULLEN! SAY YOU’LL COME! PLEASE!

(sent from my iTaint)

…….Ehh…………fine. But don’t tell Meredith.

YES! YOU WILL NOT BE SORRY! LET ME TELL CARVER TO SET OUT A FEW MORE TUMBLERS... AND MAKE SURE TO LEAVE YOUR BOOTS BY THE TABLE.

(sent from my iTaint)

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I had BETTER not see you making a drunken disturbance like last time.

I don’t care how much you ask, if you lose your pants this time I’m not helping you find them.

WHY IS THIS IN MY INBOX?

…

(sent from my iTaint)

Blast, did I hit the…

…….I do not need to know your personal affairs, Warden.

Just, don’t get into trouble. As you know, I’m a busy man.

I HAVE AN IDEA! KAHRIN, DON’T YOU THINK CULLEN SHOULD JOIN US?? HE NEEDS LIKE HE COULD USE A FEW BREWS.

…No…Noooooo no no I couldn’t possibly……….

I LOVE THIS IDEA! PLEASE COME OVER TO THE VIGIL, CULLEN! SAY YOU'LL COME! PLEASE!

(sent from my iTaint)

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I had BETTER not see you making a drunken disturbance like last time.

I don’t care how much you ask, if you lose your pants this time I’m not helping you find them.

WHY IS THIS IN MY INBOX?

…

(sent from my iTaint)

Blast, did I hit the…

…….I do not need to know your personal affairs, Warden.

Just, don’t get into trouble. As you know, I’m a busy man.

HEY, IT'S ALL GOOD SWEETNESS. I'M A BUSY WOMAN.

OR I'M ABOUT TO BE.

(sent from my iTaint)

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HEY YOU!

CARVER KEEPS HIS NEW SHOES UNDER THE BED, RIGHT? BTW I’M COMING OVER, READY TO GET DRUNK AS SHIT?

HOLY SHIT MARIAN! YOU’RE COMING OVER? WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME? 8D

YEAH, HIS NEW BOOTS ARE RIGHT HERE. I’M LOOKING AT THEM, WHY?

…

THIS IDEA? IT’S FUCKING AMAZING.

THAT’S ME! I’M A HELPER! AND CARVER CAN’T BLUFF WHEN HE’S DRUNK!

(sent from my iTaint)

HE BETTER LEARN HOW! I DON’T WANT TO SEE MY BROTHER WITHOUT CLOTHES.

OH THAT'S JUST ME THEN. RIGHT.

WE'LL KEEP AN EYE ON HIS DRINKS THEN. SOMEONE HAS TO CLEAN UP AFTER US.

(sent from my iTaint)

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To: The Hawkes

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I had BETTER not see you making a drunken disturbance like last time.

I don’t care how much you ask, if you lose your pants this time I’m not helping you find them.

WHY IS THIS IN MY INBOX?

…

(sent from my iTaint)

Blast, did I hit the ‘send all’ button? Well, if you’re drinking tonight, too, then this warning includes you.

WELL I AM DRINKING WITH THE HAWKES... I DON'T SEE WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM SINCE I ROUTINELY SLEEP WITH ONE. BUT YES YOU DID SEND ALL.

(sent from my iTaint)

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HEY YOU!

CARVER KEEPS HIS NEW SHOES UNDER THE BED, RIGHT? BTW I’M COMING OVER, READY TO GET DRUNK AS SHIT?

HOLY SHIT MARIAN! YOU’RE COMING OVER? WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME? 8D

YEAH, HIS NEW BOOTS ARE RIGHT HERE. I’M LOOKING AT THEM, WHY?

…

THIS IDEA? IT’S FUCKING AMAZING.

THAT'S ME! I'M A HELPER! AND CARVER CAN'T BLUFF WHEN HE'S DRUNK!

(sent from my iTaint)

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To: The Hawkes

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I had BETTER not see you making a drunken disturbance like last time.

I don’t care how much you ask, if you lose your pants this time I’m not helping you find them.

WHY IS THIS IN MY INBOX?

...

(sent from my iTaint)

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To: MY GRRL MARIAN

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HEY YOU!

CARVER KEEPS HIS NEW SHOES UNDER THE BED, RIGHT? BTW I’M COMING OVER, READY TO GET DRUNK AS SHIT?

HOLY SHIT MARIAN! YOU’RE COMING OVER? WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME? 8D

YEAH, HIS NEW BOOTS ARE RIGHT HERE. I’M LOOKING AT THEM, WHY?

(sent from my iTaint)

AWESOME. JUST, LEAVE THEM THERE, I’M GUNNA TOTES NEED THEM FOR TONIGHT. AWWWWW YEEEAH I’LL BRING THE VODKA. AND THE CARDS.

YEAH YEAH! I'LL SET THEM OUT FOR YOU!

CARDS! I'M RUBBISH AT CARDS, WHICH MEANS WE SHOULD GET REALLY HAMMERED AND PLAY WICKET GRACE FOR CLOTHES.

(sent from my iTaint)

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To: MY GRRL MARIAN

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HEY YOU!

CARVER KEEPS HIS NEW SHOES UNDER THE BED, RIGHT? BTW I’M COMING OVER, READY TO GET DRUNK AS SHIT?

HOLY SHIT MARIAN! YOU'RE COMING OVER? WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME? 8D

YEAH, HIS NEW BOOTS ARE RIGHT HERE. I'M LOOKING AT THEM, WHY?

(sent from my iTaint)

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To: Anders

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OOPS! HA HA! SORRY EVERYONE! I GUESS THAT WAS STILL IN HIS POCKET WHEN UH…

PLEASE DISREGARD THAT MESSAGE!

(sent from my iTaint)

… PERHAPS HE SHOULD SET HIS PHONE ASIDE DURING THINGS LIKE THAT?

RIGHT! I'LL KEEP THAT IN MIND NEXT TIME WE ARE VERY VERY DISTRACTED AND PREOCCUPIED. >.>

THANKS FOR THE HERBS BY THE WAY!

(sent from my iTaint)

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To: ALL ON CONTACT LIST

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OOPS! HA HA! SORRY EVERYONE! I GUESS THAT WAS STILL IN HIS POCKET WHEN UH…

PLEASE DISREGARD THAT MESSAGE!

(sent from my iTaint)

WHEN YOU— NO. I SEE YOUR MEANING NOW.

DO YOU? I HAVE PICTURES IF YOU LIKE TO ... OK WELL CARVER IS FROWNING SO THERE WILL BE NO PICTURES...

(sent from my iTaint)

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To: ALL ON CONTACT LIST

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OOPS! HA HA! SORRY EVERYONE! I GUESS THAT WAS STILL IN HIS POCKET WHEN UH...

PLEASE DISREGARD THAT MESSAGE!

(sent from my iTaint)

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mage i was thinking you said you will not leave again

i will not longer send you to the bench instead we are fighting i will simply face away from you as we sleep i hear it is a popular custom among many couples

not that we are…

NO WORRIES BB! I’M NOT OFFENDED!

(sent from my iTaint)

i would also express gratitude for seeing to the mage

I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR A FRIEND!

IF YOU EVER HAVE NEED YOU HAVE MY NUMBER!

(sent from my iTaint)

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mage i was thinking you said you will not leave again

i will not longer send you to the bench instead we are fighting i will simply face away from you as we sleep i hear it is a popular custom among many couples

not that we are such a thing

…

Sorry I left before you woke up.

I left you a bunch of healing salves and herbs to help with nausea, though.

AND I WILL COME AND VISIT AGAIN BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH THE REASON THIS TIME SUCKED, THAT WAS A HELL OF A TIME.

But again, thank you.

WOW THANKS! THOSE WILL HELP A LOT! I'M SURE I'LL BE TEXTING YOU IN THE FUTURE! THANK YOU SO MUCH!

YOU CAN COME BACK ANYTIME! BOTH OF YOU!

AND GOOD LUCK! I JUST HOPE YOU TWO CAN WORK IT ALL OUT AND BE HAPPY!

(sent from my iTaint)