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@kaijuuuu
"But remember that an "angel" is anything that carries out a mission for God. This includes forces of nature. An angel doesn't have to be an intimidating, fiery being... Photosynthesis? That's an angel. Gravity? An angel. Magnetism? Angel. The Midrash in Bereishis Rabbah (chapter 1) says than an angel only performs one job. That job doesn't have to be destroying Sodom; it could be peristalsis, centripetal force or condensation."
- Rabbi Jack Abramowitz, The God Papers
canât risk it
THIS PIECE OF PICTURE WORKS.Â
Gotta take all the chancesâŚ..
Never risk it
i had to
Taking the chance!
âSoldier, how the hell did you manage to take 9,999 captives?â âNo idea, sir. They all just surrendered after I killed the first guy.â
"Well... good job, David."
Eddie Munson was a gifted kid who grew up in poverty and neglect without the nurturing environment he desperately needed.
He was neurodivergent and hyperactive.
He coped in high school by experimenting with drugs, skipping school, making himself to be the most expressive and obnoxious in any room, and kept himself preoccupied with hobbies, friends and a fictional world to avoid any thought of his actual future.
And man, if that isnât some specific ass representation you never get but desperately need.
Thatâs the scoop.
The Passover Story in Memes
My family has an annual tradition of telling the story in a creative way so here it is, told through memes:
Eat some matzahs and bitter herbs, and have a lamb shank, and this Passover is good as mitzvah'd!
A relevant thread
As I kept reading my eyes got wider and wider
this is absolutely amazing
While looking for tattoo ideas, I found some uh... questionable... things people have put on their bodies forever. And, well, I'll let them speak for themselves
wall of shame
NCC-1701-D as a tramp stamp is SO GOOD!
The Gimli Glider! So many things came together to make this safe landing:
The co-pilot was a local and knew all the local airstrips
...including the decommissioned 10,000 foot military runway they ultimately chose as their destination
...but because it had been decommissioned, was now utilized by a local go-kart club for racing
...which, on that day, was indeed having a great time racing go-karts on the old runway
...and because there was no way to alert the people on the ground and the planeâs approach was utterly silent (NO ENGINES) with kids in go-karts were whizzing around on the runway, the final approach was, shall we say, alarming
...until a parent looked up and noticed a giant fucking airplane getting bigger and bigger
OH GOD HEâS LANDING HERE
Thus within seconds the whole area was cleared by frantic parents
Plane lands perfectly, but without power they had to drop the gear via gravity and the nose wheel failed to lock into place
Front gear collapses
Plane screeches to a halt, and because they landed at a go-kart event pretty much every dad has a fire extinguisher, so they manage to extinguish the small fire caused by friction
The only minor injuries were due to passengers jumping from the emergency exit slides, which dangled off the ground due to elevated tail height
If you have 27 spare minutes and want an excruciatingly detailed, technical breakdown of what happened as told by a real pilot, hereâs the Mentour Pilot episode on the Gimli Glider.
I read an article about this back around 1990 and my favorite part was that, after landing and stopping, the pilots were reflexively going through the âcrash landingâ checklist, shutting down all the fuel pumps and lines to prevent a fire from spreading, until it dawned on them halfway through that they didnât need to do those steps because the tanks were quite empty.
That field is now used to teach Air Cadets how to fly gliders, and give every cadet the experience of gliding. We can still see the black marks on the runway, left by the plane scraping along. â¤ď¸
The kid will cherish this for their whole life. If they remember it.
went to look this tweet up so I could rt it and discovered this is the same dude as the tubthumping tweet masterpiece
gold level
This was funnier in my head.Â
If this was funnier in your head I have no idea how youâre still alive because Iâm fucking dying.
You are every Super Heroâs worst enemy, not because you are particularly powerful, but because nothing you do is technically illegal⌠youâre just a huge asshole.
Isn't that just Lex Luthor?
If you try to stifle a sneeze, you could possibly injure your diaphragm, bruise your eye, rupture an ear drum, or burst a blood vessel in your brain.
Source Source 2 Source 3
But if I don't, I could possibly wake the baby. Choices are hard.
đš
from The Thief of Sounis
Gen really could steal anything, even the dead from their graves.
Aahhh, this is so good!!
I know Iâve said this before but vampires
donât show up on camera
can fly/scale walls
immune to bullets
can break into any safe by turning into fog or some bullshit
could probably hypnotize security guards as needed
therefore I am in dire need of a heist film where a group of vampires band together to steal back their old stuff from museums
Oceans 1100 AD
Very interested in the hardest part of this beign the vampires trying to trick someone into granting them permission to enter the premises earlier in the day
I feel like this has several simple solutions!
they enter the museum while itâs open to the public (and the Welcome sign is on display). they turn into bats and hide in the rafters until the museum closes. the only hiccup is when the overhead announcement comes on and politely requests all visitors leave for closing. the vampire are forced to flee, but come back the next day with tiny bat-sized earplugs.
downside: this requires going out in daylight, leading most of the team members to show up in long black victorian formalwear, complete with lacy parasols, which they insist on carrying with them throughout the entire heist (much to the frustration of the team leader, who just wore sunscreen and a raincoat).
depending on how invitations work, it is possible any random human can invite them in. one of the vampires gets their Ultimate Frisbee buddy Oakley to tag along and invite them in after closing.
downside: the gang spends the rest of the heist gently mocking the idea of a vampire playing association ultimate frisbee (âso what, you turn into a bat and catch it with your fangs? do they make you crawl up the wall when it gets stuck on a roof? if you turn into a cat to get it down from a tree, do you end up stuck in the tree?â) this ends in a Climactic Twist Ending when Oakley reveals they donât play ultimate frisbee, just dog park frisbee. In the sense that they met when the vampire transformed into a wolf to gatecrashed a game at the local dog park.
(Bonus points if Oakley is a werewolf. extra bonus points if this is revealed in a post-credits epilogue where, on the next full moon, the entire gang transforms into creatures of the night and joins Oakley at the park for a frisbee game of Bats vs Wolves)
Final option: to gain legitimate entry, an invitation is needed from a museum employee. this presents two possibilities:
the vampires pretend to be incredibly rich eccentric patrons who want a private nighttime tour of the museum. (this is convincing due to the fact they are rich and incredibly eccentric.) the vampires get inside, planning to hypnotize the Curator supervising their tour.
downside: they immediately discover the Curator has been left immune to hypnosis by years of post-grad exposure to droning history lecturers. the vampires leave their least competent member to distract her while they carry out the heistâin the ensuing 90 minutes, the vampire and the curator accidentally Fall In Love after bonding over their shared fury about british archeological theft.
(In the sequel they get married and spend their honeymoon robbing the British Museum in order to return sacred objects to the cultures from which they were stolen. this is made more complicated comical by the fact vampires are unable to interact with holy objects. also, they are lesbians.)
alternatively: the gang simply bribes a security guard into letting them in after closing. the security guard then tags along, offering helpful advice for disabling alarms and transporting antiques. it turns out Security Officer Greer only applied for the job bc they too were planning an Elaborate Acrobatic Burglary, but then their partners quit to join Cirque du Soleil and âI canât exactly perform a Double Cartwheel Birdie Flying Trapeze Boomerang Special without a partner.â
downside: the gang becomes too attached to ask Greer to leave. They carry out the heist as intended, but this time pretending to be circus performers to explain their vampire powers. Turning into a cloud of smoke to bypass locks? Magicians never explain a trick. Spider walking across ceilings to bypass alarms? Contortionist. When it comes time to fly from roof to roof, they decide turning into bats would give away their secret, so instead they help Greer, in a sparkling moment of triumph, execute the perfect Double Cartwheel Birdie Flying Trapeze Boomerang Special!
Greer and the gang escape (by tightrope walking) into the night with all the plunder they can carry. Tearfully, the gang begins to say goodbye (bc they canât keep up the pretense of being circus performers forever) when Greer casually asks how a bunch of vampire ended up working in a circus.
(Greer assumed from the beginning they were vampires, because of âhow you dress, how you talk, and mostly because none of you showed up on camera back in the CCTV control room. Why did you think it took me so long to let yall in?â)
I cannot for the lives of me decide which synopsis I like best
(all ideas shared on this blog are public domain, feel free to go nuts. you can find more story ideas like this on my ko-fi)
It never fails to tickle me how Studios could have billions of dollars to work with, yet a random tumblr user still comes up with a story thatâs still infinitely more interesting than any story thatâs come out in the past 8 years.
Movie? Psh. This is a tabletop rpg scenario.
Queenâs Thief Appreciation, Day 11: Favorite Outfit* - A study of Helen
Please come along with me and @storieswelove on a chronological journey through six of Helenâs outfits as they evolve ⌠from the sheepskin coat she wears as a nine-year-old (the first character we meet in the timeline of the series!) to clothes chosen by others with various motivations and clothes she chooses herself.
I drew the Helens, and Margaux came up with this concept, wrote the accompanying gems of missing scenes, and (along with Maggie) has infused my mind with fashion references over the past few months, in the best way, while encouraging my art always.
*ok, we did pick more than one outfit
âEddisâ Hunting Jacket
âHigh up in the mountains there was still quite a bit of snow, and she shivered even in her sheepskin jacket.â - âEddisâ (reference)
âThere you are, my dear,â Xanthe said as she buttoned Helenâs new coat. The little girl had grown since the fall, when the weather was last warm enough for a coat that only came to her knees. âLook how nice you look.âÂ
Helen stuck out her arms and looked at the coat. It was all right, she thought. The blue and white trim was pretty, but that just meant her mother or her aunts or Xanthe would chastise her when she inevitably got it dirty. She almost sighed. If they would just let her wear plain clothes maybe they wouldnât fuss so much when they got dirty. But Xanthe was smiling at her expectantly, so Helen smiled back and, fibbing, said, âItâs a lovely coat.âÂ
If she didnât care for the coat, she would be happy to have its warm mass when she snuck off with Nestor to go explore the temple soon. She had been planning all winter, and she was nearly ready to goâŚ
Keep reading
Aaaaand, bam! My contribution to Queen's Thief Appreciation Week! It's pen, watercolor, and colored pencil and was ultra fun to work on.
Last year I did an ominous piece of Gen falling, so this year I pivoted and did happily ever after.
It's got all your basic moving parts: Gen and Irene heading up to the crenellations,
Phresine loving on baby Hector while baby Eugenia drops a stolen earring that matches her dad's (with her mountain goat plushie nearby),
Helen and Sophos just being stupid cute with their wee heir, while the Magus still studies his map and Pol's sword leans on the wall beneath the three countries' banners,
Your pantheon of deities, with the Great Goddess at the center,
Teleus and Relius enjoying each other's company while Pheris (now with mobility aid!) ignores them (also there's a pigeon),
Costis and bespectacled Kamet with a plate of nut cakes, and a familiar author in the background with her stack of six books,
And, finally, our long-awaited elephant, while two of Gen's attendants search for their king.
Happy Queen's Thief Appreciation Week!!!
the theme of this monthâs patreon request night was Loki because OF COURSE IT WAS â¨
