The kaiL-Ective Mind

"..My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.." - Maya Angelou

[kailland-kailective]

°•●¡¿ i am not alone ¿¡●•° A few nights ago, I sat awake in bed, thinking. Eversince my dark night began, I've found the calmness of the early hours of the morning to be some of the most beautiful. I can break into a thousand pieces during these hours and their isn't a single person nearby to judge me for it - that's freedom. Although it's a freedom attached to such an emotionally crippling issue, I still value my right to do so, since the suffering is unavaoidable anyway. I often feel as though my dark night of the soul is it's own seperate identity, yet the very place it calls home is within me, like roommates. Roommates both vying for control over the same house - a recipe for disaster. Since this space isn't big enough to house us both, one of us will have to move out, indefinetely. But why though? Can't we share the same space while splitting the rent and maintaining a comfortable distance between one another? Is it absolutey necessary for this process to hurt so much? Immediately after pondering these questions, my thoughts began to respond. Almost as if, I was responding to... myself and answering my own questions. The response that I pieced together, was incredibly profound. ...because your not being true to yourself... "What in the F?" ...you give so much of yourself to others, yet you award nothing to yourself. And by doing so, you've imposed severe neglect and mistreatment upon your person. What you are witnessing is the aftermath of trauma inflicted upon the human soul. Trauma of your own design. The many facets of the complex structures that were built to house the very core nature of you - have gone to war with one another. Where there was one ruling faction... now two exist comprising your past , and present state. Your present state of being, is birthed from the masochism endured by the past personality, akin to a survivor. The present spirit simply refuses to be silenced, nor does it trust the world that your past personality has created... ...Take focus upon your thoughts towards the shape of a triangle. Three points should exist sharing equal distance from one another, otherwise it cannot be defined as a true triangle. Your past state of being gave rise to what will be your present until mastery is achieved. Mastery can be achieved by respecting that while in this state, there can only be hard work - and nothing else. Since you are on the threshold of such great luck, none will be provided for you... ...The idea that time can somehow create a cure or aide in healing our internal pain is false. Time exists passively so that we may have a reference point for the momments that will require reflection on our part, later in future. Time alone will not aide you in gaining the perspective you need, for this is no ordinary pain. The pain that you ache of posesses roots anchored in your existence. Life and reality are mirroring you in such a way that cannot be referred to as anything other then a phenomenon... ...Seek the answers you need with determination, compassion and vigor. Allow the pain to sit council with you as an equal, and by doing so - it will take you on a journey into the very intimate momments of it's creation. Don't be discouraged by what is presumeably darkness and refrain from presenting a prejudice of your feelings by remembering always, that they are of your brand. Let it speak of it's story so that you may decipher it's requirements of you in hopes that a compromise can be met... ...The harmonious energy exchanged between those two points will introduce the third point of structure - future...

[gnosticgnoob]

[kail-ifornia-blog]

•°●♥° YOU ARE ME & I AM YOU… what if we don’t like what we see¿ °♥●°•

The interpersonal world of Plutonians is rough. Hidden deep within the depths of the outer shell of flesh lies our most treasured desires, hopes and dreams, and to offer these prized pieces of information to those unworthy - is simply the least desired of options.

If relationships are a reflection of self that one casts onto a canvas of intimacy, like a painter does with paints, then one could understand a plutonians need to birth artistry of their own design - without being forced to relinquish creative control. It’s this very process alone that may cause others close to us to question almost all of our motives.

Yet through our own eyes, we view life as an abundance of creation. Almost finding ourselves lost within the process of deciphering how and why the everyday items we use regularly - we’re made to serve their function. Artists must create - painters must paint, and champions must pioneer heroic feats.

Never make anything that you can’t bare to look at, while at the same time, forgive yourself for all your rough drafts. Not everything is a masterpiece and great artists were only popularly known for a handful of their artwork. And almost every single one recieved notoriety and recognition long after their absence. “Ahead of their time” and that inborn forward thinking is the branding of a true artist - which the underworld has produced many a champion.

[dommymars-deactivated20150405]

"Spiritual inner death: Dark night of the Soul" This is not the most popular subject on the planet but it’s something that many will experience whilst on the spiritual evolution path. When the old within us is dying and leaving us this leaves an emptiness. The empty feeling is a very tough feeling for us to cope with, our first reaction is to go back and try and fill the space with the old energies. Or we try to divert our attention to it. Also the mind feels its got nothing to hang onto anymore and it starts to panic. The empty space is waiting for the newness to arrive, but it can feel like an immense limbo. Also the mind can think you are literally dying and project this feeling into the outer world. If you can remain calm and reassure you mind that all is well. Create a cosy nest where you feel safe If possible have friends around that support you and don’t criticize you. Embrace the changes and don’t fear them Your soul can offer whispers of guidance, you mind may feel lost but your soul at this time is your guide. Try not to fill the empty space with anything Thank the old and give gratitude for bringing you to the next step of your evolution I used go through a spiritual death every 2 or 3 weeks, eventually due to accepting them they got less and less and now they occur quietly in the background. Please share this important message, many on the path encounter this but often don’t understand it and that causes more pain and difficult emotions If you are in this now, here is some love to help carry you through it.

Martin Soulreader (via dommymars)

[chewchewbaka]

God must take [spiritual consolation] away in order to purify the soul … . Because of His love for us, [God] urges us to grow up. His love is not content to leave us in our weakness, and for this reason he takes us into a dark night. He weans us from all of the pleasures by giving us dry times and inward darkness … . Through the dark night pride becomes humility, greed becomes simplicity, wrath becomes contentment, luxury becomes peace, gluttony becomes moderation, envy becomes joy, and sloth becomes strength. No soul will ever grow deep in the spiritual life unless God works passively in that soul by means of the dark night.

John of the Cross — The Dark Night of the Soul (via chewchewbaka)

[kailland-kailective]

[matauryn]

☆ Metaphysical / Spiritual ☆

[kailland-kailective]

Consuela Quartz

[some1inthis-deactivated20160626]

my witch hand is strong by bipolarfairy on Polyvore

[kailland-kailective]

HOME MADE OIL LAMP - CERTIFIED KAIL CO.

[kailland-kailective]

"If you’re not pissing someone off, you probably aren’t doing anything important Meaningful achievements are, perversely, more likely to annoy the world around you. Are you losing weight? “You should be happy with your own body!” Saving children in Africa? “You should save your own country!” Curing cancer? “What took you so long?” So you fixed world poverty? Great Whatever you do, you’re going to annoy someone, and annoying someone can be a good thing. Let me show you the virtue of being an occasional asshole. Rule 1: There are more important things than other people’s feelings One of the reasons successful people can sometimes come over like assholes is because they’ve learned there are far more important things in this world than what other people feel. There are more important things than people's feelings It’s an uncomfortable truth. We’re raised to be nice, and for good reason. Niceness is safe. It’s excellent at maintaining the status quo. Nice people are conscious of what might upset others, and avoid such things. Which is deadly if you want to accomplish anything of significance. If your mission is to lead, create, or better the world, surrendering to the emotional concerns of others will paralyse and kill you. Leaders that can’t make tough decisions can’t lead. Artists that can never offend anyone can never delight anyone either." - OLIVEREMBERTON

[kailland-kailective]

The SAILOUT: My Dark Night Of The Soul, as lived through by Kail - to Kail - for Everyone

For the past few years, I’ve been going through a spiritual depression, or what is commonly referred to as the dark night of the soul. Within the Dark Night of the Soul, one finds themselves face to face with the rediscovery of “true self” through a rigorous and almost endless set of synchronistic circumstances that pulls the native from the comfortability and safety of a false reality. This occurs in order to force the surrender of our unrealistic view of the “I”, we percieve ourselves to be. To truly define the process of living by living it.

One is no longer pleased with empty pursuits of lifes design. While in this depression, many questions arise. Triggered by dramatic changes and trials that force me to “let go”, and just allow whatever to be - come for me. Poverty, loss, lonliness, homelessness, hunger, a lack of companionship. It stands outside my door, knocking relentlessly and demanding to be let in. When one surrenders to the false sense of reality, they become one with all existance. There is no boundary, just being. All things can enter and leave, or live and let live within this physical plane. Like buddhist monks, who undergo deep meditative states to break free from the boundaries that mask and cheapen the experience of life.

They don’t chase money, cars or success. They are called to a different experience, yet many that I have spoken with have admitted that each journey is unique - because it is yours. The pursuit of money, cars and success leads the native to their right of passage into their Darkest Night. I once wondered often whether these buddhist monks could reach these levels of such enlightenment with a stack of bills or a regular 9-5?

My answer to this question now? It doesn’t matter to me if they could or couldn’t. What does matter is that their higher calling asks them to give freely of themselves to their journey. Unlike myself, they wouldn’t hide from the poverty knocking at their door - they would let it in. Learn it’s ways, hear it’s stories without judgement, walk in it’s shoes, understand what poverty really is. The uniqueness of their calling doesn’t hold much importance to me. The fact that they give so deeply and go without in order to help others is such a profound thing.

Like Mother Theresa, who dedicated her life to serve others in need. Taken from a beautiful article by Carol Zaleski, she writes :

___”The Dark Night. Throughout 1946 and 1947, Mother Teresa experienced a profound union with Christ. But soon after she left the convent and began her work among the destitute and dying on the street, the visions and locutions ceased, and she experienced a spiritual darkness that would remain with her until her death. It is hard to know what is more to be marveled at: that this twentieth-century commander of a worldwide apostolate and army of charity should have been a visionary contemplative at heart; or that she should have persisted in radiating invincible faith and love while suffering inwardly from the loss of spiritual consolation. In letters written during the 1950s and 1960s to Fr. Van Exem, Archbishop Périer, and to later spiritual directors, Fr. L. T. Picachy, S.J., and Fr. J. Neuner, S.J., she disclosed feelings of doubt, loneliness, and abandonment. God seemed absent, heaven empty, and bitterest of all, her own suffering seemed to count for nothing, “ … just that terrible pain of loss, of God not wanting me, of God not being God, of God not really existing.”

The dark night of Mother Teresa presents us with an even greater interpretive challenge than her visions and locutions. It means that the missionary foundress who called herself “God’s pencil” was not the God-intoxicated saint many of us had assumed her to be. We may prefer to think that she spent her days in a state of ecstatic mystical union with God, because that would get us ordinary worldlings off the hook. How else could this unremarkable woman, no different from the rest of us, bear to throw her lot in with the poorest of the poor, sharing their meager diet and rough clothing, wiping leprous sores and enduring the agonies of the dying, for so many years without respite, unless she were somehow lifted above it all, shielded by spiritual endorphins? Yet we have her own testimony that what made her self-negating work possible was not a subjective experience of ecstasy but an objective relationship to God shorn of the sensible awareness of God’s presence. “___

Think about it. When we say that we do things, do we really? Can we go all out for it? Let it take us, so that we may experience the bliss of being found. I know we can, I can feel it.

[kailland-kailective]

I'm becoming more aware everyday that I am not alone. Each morning as I rise with the sound of my alarm, the stirring of my 'studenthood' opens its eyes and begins it's own daily routine alongside me. As a seeker of knowledge and spiritual expansion, I am the perverbially apprentice - never really graduating, and barely breaking even. Buddhists call it the "PIT OF THE VOID", and in Judeo-christianity, it is referred to as the Dark Night Of The Soul. Or a spiritual depression, too deep to be cured by addiction. Our Alice, as she gazes through the looking glass entering a world and eventually leaving it - never to be the same again. My Dark night was triggered by a period a few years ago in which I awoke one morning, and felt the deepest need to quit smoking cigarettes. Having been a "2 days a pack" smoker since the age of 15, that entire process perplexed me and those closest to me. Without a single complaint or episode of withdrawal, it was clear that my need for transformation was to begin from within. A few months later, I decided to take up meditating and found that I took to it almost immediately. As if we were old friends having lost touch with eachother and picking up right where we left off. During my meditative state, my thoughts were ceased. Bills, requirements and schedules were silenced in such a way that I had never felt before. For the first time in my life - I felt safe. I watched, from within that state of being as bright lights and clouded creatures danced and peared at me from their veils, while I stayed mindful and aware of my body and my breathe. Before long, my daily 15 minutes of meditation turned into a 2 hour and 47 minute, affair. But that's gone now. Locked out of heaven, as Bruno Mars once sang. Allowing me into a sanctuary, then removing it from under my feet? That isn't fair. Now there is no silencing or cessation of intrusive thoughts or stressors. My angry temper burning with a fire of an even greater intensity, my moods disruptive like a neglected toddler... I am vulnerable. Why? I liken it to a boxing match. One with the production value that rivals any celebrity boxers career. But when dealing with the dark night of the soul - theres always a twist. A sprinkle of that fatedness quality, a guest appearance by the great equalizer "karma", and a few other supporting members that work so dilegently well to bring you the broadcast match of your existence. Worthy of any Vegas studded event - with it's own cold fan base following to match. Two experienced fighters entering a packed arena. Both fighters silent amongst a sea of havoc, only to exist within the confines of this present moment. There is no yesterday nor is there tomorrow, there can only be now. Memories of the past cannot supersede their current path - in order to maintain clarity - both must see beyond the excitement of the moment and purge themselves of self inflation, self entitlement and all expectancy. The boxer in black representing the human ego, birthed from our closest attachments of our humble beginnings- enters the ring first. And the boxer in white representing our genuine self - the great phoenix rising from the depths below the ash, steps in shortly after. Preperation par excellence. The spectators cheer as their gladiators turn to face one another before battle. Yet none of this could exist if it weren't brought to you by the dark night of the soul, the production team capable of bringing these two situations into one. The raw transformative experience that destroys what once was, in order to create what can be. The merging of these two elements within the plight of the human existence, is where we find ourselves with many un-answered questions. As they play themselves out on our most greatest stages, we can't help but become entranced by the performance they deliver. Such beauty and grace, dancing cheek to cheek with a thrill of victory and the agony of defeat.

[kailland-kailective]

damn... winter nights in Canberra are like :

[kailland-kailective]

Get you some!

[kailland-kailective]

THERE AIN'T NO FUTURE IN YOUR FRONTIN'