beaokay i want to address a few things thats bothering me atm.
Iām moving in with three girlfriends from school and the house has three decently sized bedrooms, and one thatās noticeably smaller. Now, with my luck i already knew that i would get the smallest bedroom. thatās just how my life works, iām rarely lucky in that way. But this house has two stories, and my childhood dream was always to have a bedroom upstairs, as we only had one floor. So i thought that okay, iām an adult now and this is gonna be our house so i actually have the chance to make that dream come true. Since two of the bedrooms are upstairs. (not the little one) So i said to my friends that i want an upstairs bedroom purely because of matearalistic reasons, and explained the situation. (i know this is a shitty āexcuseā to get an upstairs bedroom, i am a materialistic bitch) okay anyways, we had a draw to find out what rooms we get and ofc i got the tiny one ( thereās more to this story, and a reason i explained the thing with the tiny room and upstairs but i just realized that it would be a damn long text, might go back and edit it later) and i got really annoyed. And it annoys me that it annoys me. Like i actually got a bit mad. Mad that life is always against me in that way, and mad that it bothers me because itās so insugnificant and it really doesnāt matter at all. Can you relate? Point is, iām annoyed that i even care that much about something so minor. Like why is that so important to me?Ā
Second thing is my brother.Ā
Ive always been very open with my brother, and ive teached him about life, about people and animals and how we should act towards them. My brother has joined me in demonstrations against fur and has become very open himself to other people with other cultures. I thought i had him on the right track, to be a decent and caring humanbeing.BUT, like two days ago my mom got a call from his scool saying hes been hurting some of his muslim classmates and telling racist jokes and whatnot. This really fucking upset me, like what happend to all the values i taught him?Ā What happened to my caring, accepting and kind brother?Ā Im pretty sure hes been influenced by his friends, and particulary one thats recently come in to his life, who is a bit damaged - you know 14 years old and smoking, stealing and breaking in. So I learned that my brother has been a part of this, and its been going on since christmas. I just dont know what to say, im hurt and sad and angry that he just let all of his values go to be a part ofĀ āthe gang.ā Which i guess is natrual for us humans, its just social psychology. But it hurts me so bad. And when we talked to him about this, he didnt really seem to care?Ā He just sat there like an obnoxious teenager that really believes he can do whatever he wants, and that its not his fault that people get hurt by it. I seriously cried a little in my room after, because i didnt ever think my brother would become that kind of a person. He tells me that all he ever did wass tell racist jokes, and that he thinks racist jokes are really funny, so why should he stop?Ā Doesnt he have the right to tell jokes like that? That my kind of humor. And ofc, some people have that kind of humor, but if you do i think that theres a time and a place to tell those kind of jokes. At least not in front of your classmates who might get hurt by it. My brother thinks that he should be allowed to tell whatever kind of jokes he want to, whereever, ebcause this is a free country and again, not his fault that people are hurt by it. DO you get what kind of shitty brat teenager attitude im trying to portray here?Ā Im just boiling with anger, i dont wanna know that person anymore.Ā
And third. My moms boyfriend. again.
Funny how I always post on this blog in the summer time. Maybe that when im mot emotional. AND, the summer is the only time i HAVE to meet this guy. Schools out, and im home for the summer. ANd ofc he is here to, to visit my mom. Today we went to the beach, and apparently he and my mom had an argment before we left to there was some tension in the air. This dude, lets just call him T, was apparently annoyed, and childish, so he said that hes not going to take a bath, so he wont bother bringing his swimming trunks. Just fyi; its currently 28 degrees celsius here. So he came along to the beach with no swimsuit. Ofc its burning hot at the beach, and my mom and I are frequently taking baths while he just sists there watching. It doesnt take more than say one hour, till he starts complaining about the heat. (he has complained about everything else up intil til point, like, people are too close, hes hungry etc.) After an hour he starts hinting that he want to go home, because hes sunburned ( He was not, he is still white as snow) and needs to get out of the sun (obvi because hes hot and cant cool off in the water) So this whole trips ends in us leaving the beach because this CHILD was dumb enough not to bring his swimming trunks JUST IN CASE.Ā My mother and Iboth wanted to stay longer but we couldnt bear listening to his complaining any longer. What could have been a nice day at the beach, was totally ruined by this asshole of aĀ āman.āĀ (I already dont like him AT ALL; so everything he does annoys me like a thousand times more that it should)
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