sol

the other side of the moon

[kaleidoscopium]

☆ all the way from SAN CRISTOBAL, DOMINICAN REPUBLIC, supernova records is excited to welcome MARISOL HIDALGO VEGA! as our resident KALEIDOSCOPE, you remind us of the urgent tapping of fingers under the table, a silence of the lips so in contrast with the loudness inside, a consuming pressure to say, do, perform, when you just want to hide, hide, hide, playing a game of pretend where the only one not having fun is you. you’re also expected to be RESPONSIBLE and METHODICAL at all times. we know you tend to be AVOIDANT and OVERINDEPENDENT as well, but let’s do our best to keep that under wraps, okay? we look forward to ensuring you shine under our guidance! about | connections | band | tracker

[kaleidoscopium]

“this is exciting,” she muses at the edge of her imaginary seat. a full weekend off was a dream to start with, but to celebrate pride? sol can hardly believe it. the possibilities were endless. “what if we get fake-married at the global marriage ceremony?”

[trinhrndz]

trinity was no stranger to random suggestions from crewmates, label staff, and stars alike that she could and couldn't fulfill: sometimes asking for music opinions (she never had one), sometimes demanding she get them a latte instead of an underpaid assistant (she never had done it.) at least this time it wasn't amy. " unless you want me to pluck them out of the crowd for a mad-libs style live album, you'd probably have to bring that to your guys' team. and then yemi and olivia-rose. "

[kaleidoscopium]

sol knew that, of course. layers and lines of people working together towards the same goal, to make them gain as much as possible be the best band there was. but where did the spontaneity go?

" i wouldn't if you think it's a bad idea. you didn't say anything about that. "

[rubywus]

ruby didn't take sol's response as a diss, but a piece of curiosity and desire to learn, of course! "oh my gosh, i can totally see how you would see that, but a basic t-shirt can elevated. like your outfit isn't bad at all, i just think it needs some pizazz! you're part of a huge band, you gotta stand out, y'know?!"

[kaleidoscopium]

"and you gotta stand down," she ponders, words out loud that she doesn't realize are not inner thoughts anymore. "thank you," she adds, dubious. "i am sure i can trust you to make us shine."

[birdiewash]

" the entire room has been spinning since i auditioned for honeydew and made it past the first round. but also, mostly every time i've smoked weed i just wanted to eat chips. "

[kaleidoscopium]

that she can understand. the whole world has been spinning for a while now for her, too. probably will until the end of her carreer. "i have heard most people want to eat milk and biscuits," she muses. "maybe you could try to dip the milk?"

[trinhrndz]

" my ears are open. " said trinity, whose mind was usually closed.

[kaleidoscopium]

"what if..." she takes a big breath, maybe longer than expected. reality is always better than what you imagine, sol. "we let our fans write part of the songs for the next album?"

[birdiewash]

" have you ever done cocaine? 'cause, i haven't yet, but... this is pretty much how i imagine it. "

[kaleidoscopium]

"i've never done cocaine," she admits shyly, even if there's nothing to be shy or ashamed about. then, with another blush, "weed, though? yes. do you feel your head spinning?"

[izzyfm]

"why would i not mean that i'm the happiest i've ever been? i'm in a band that's opening for a huuuuge tour. why wouldn't i be happy? i'm so happy," izzy laughs, something between a scoff and a chuckle. she's trying to convince herself of this as well. "wouldn't you be happy if you got to this place with do not disturb? wouldn't anyone be happy?" all she can think of is why the fuck aren't i? isn't this what i wanted? "i'm happy." she's said the word so much in the past few seconds that it's beginning to not feel like a word anymore but it's always felt like something of a foreign word to her anyway.

[kaleidoscopium]

she listens to the ramble of words, each a further step into oblivion. or hope. what if...? what if she feels like her? maybe... just maybe... she could just... the similiarities are obvious, the tone too. she could just listen to her instinct and voice her own worries, echo izzy's fears. but what if she doesn't?

the dream to be understood is always too good to be true.

so she lies.

“we are lucky but you don't sound so sure.”

[kaleidoscopium]

@kenny-barrett

“we’ll win next time. right? maybe with a PZAZZ.” 

[kaleidoscopium]

@trinhrndz

“i have a... request. a proposal, really. suggestion, maybe. just please hear me out before you say no?” 

[kaleidoscopium]

@gemmitchell

“this is a DISASTER!” she screams, hands on her head. the escalation comes and risks getting higher and higher — and then she hears it. the noise of a door opening behind her, of someone breathing.

stars above

“is there any way you might forget... that?”

[kaleidoscopium]

@birdiewash

“sooo.... how does it feel like to win?”

[solvcky]

"honey, i'm going to hold your hands when i say this," amy started, doing just as she promised. "sometimes you have to be unsustainable to look good." then, just as quickly, she dropped marisol's hands without fanfare and stepped back to soak her features in again. "i don't think i'm going to do glitter for your band tonight though, i'm thinking more bold than shiny. i did some red with kennedy, and i think it would look amazing on you too." she didn't wait for confirmation from marisol before reaching for some foundation and getting to work.

[kaleidoscopium]

“the world would be a better place if nature was the looking good one, not us.” the words escape her before she can stop herself, almost an after tought, bolder than her usual stance. the topic too loud to contain.

just as boldness comes out, it goes away, a shy smile spreading. at amy's next words and gestures, she just nods. she could always change back if she didn't like it, right?

[rubywus]

"what? oh, of course i did! i know fashion, and what you're wearing is totally clashing. unless you're trying to be ironically clashing, which i guess might -- and i mean, MIGHT... follow the motifs of your band." ruby reached up to tap their lips in ponderance. "hm... even so, this still needs some work."

[kaleidoscopium]

their words are intentionally and obviously rude; so that any other person would have not bat an eye. instead, sol gulps, an involuntary gesture aimed to repress shame. what if they were right? she glances down at herself again, once, twice, before replying:  “it's all black, how wrong can it be?” a pause, a daring step. “it's not like your tshirt is any different.”

[tokaireyes]

the idea's crossed their mind before–tossing their phone into a lake, watching it sink, and walking away. she scoffs at the thought. ❛ somehow i don't think it'd be that simple, ❜ kai said. ❛ besides... i couldn't leave you guys. i'd get too bored. ❜

[kaleidoscopium]

❛ i mean, we could always all do the same. you know, go offline, leave this all behind. ❜ her eyes are cast down, not daring to look at her friend's face. if need be, she'll say it was a joke.

[midnightinshadow]

[tokaireyes]

it's not a great joke, running away, said at the middle of what feels like an endless day of media obligations. ❛ what ? no, of course not, ❜ kai responded, shaking her head. ❛ i can't end up on the label's shit list just because i'd rather be in bed than at another interview. ❜ the thought was appealing, though. having the choice to get up after noon and doing whatever they wanted for a couple days. ❛ besides, i'm sure if i tried to run they'd find me anyway. sometimes i think they have a tracker on us the way i always get a text telling me to go home when i'm at a bar past midnight. ❜

[kaleidoscopium]

the words past through her like a dream. for a split second, she thought her friend was just like her, oppressed by the job and the neverending scrutiny. but no.

❛ of course not, ❜ she echoes, as it it's the most absurd thing in the world. ❛ i mean, if you threw away your phone i doubt they could find you. ❜ she adds, casually, as if she hasn't thought about it countless times before.