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socially incompetent, neurodivergent blob and sometimes okay with that. ❄ german | 30s | 🏳️‍🌈 ⚧️ | language enthusiast ❄ it is always box time!

[nudityandnerdery]

Beautiful, no notes. (Found it on Facebook, tracked it back to Reddit)

[inoffizielles-deutschland]

He's showing you to his house. Do you follow?

[fairygoulish]

My favorite sex position is any of them. I’m just glad to be involved

[jewishpangolin]

[homunculus-argument]

I've been fed, walked and watered and I've slept enough and been out of the internet and I'm doing crafts.

Why am I still angry.

[homunculus-argument]

I walked right into this one like a blind horse into a revolving door.

[foone]

I was looking at sex toys on aliexpress (like you do) and it suggested I get a 45cm (17″) Black Tourmaline Hexagonal Obelisk. I don’t think that’s a good idea

[foone]

FINALLY, WE CAN TENTACLIZE THE CLOUDS THEMSELVES! 

[foone]

and now I found the “realistic torture/execution devices for dolls” section. 

[foone]

aliexpress is seriously the best place to look at sex toys because they can’t show nudity so they have to finding other ways to show off the use of the toys.

This results in a LOT of abused food, which is always hilarious. 

[foone]

that’s not what I was searching for and frankly at this point I can’t really remember what I was searching for 

[foone]

oh baby, slide into my chrysanthemum for some novel gameplay!

[foone]

one of my favorite things is when they decide to give you the whole hard sell.

instead of just being like “hey this is a good sex toy”, they instead try to explain why you’d even need a sex toy, from first principles. and that principle is usually “your boyfriend/husband sucks”. or doesn’t, I guess. 

they always end up looking like a r/wheredidthesodago commercial for lesbianism

[foone]

so the sound of this sex toy is between a flower and a clock! 

wait, a flower? do… do flowers make sounds? 

[foone]

I’ve posted about the Hammer Sex Toy before, but it turns out it’s not alone. There’s also… 

THE WRENCH! 

[foone]

now that is a fucking slogan

[foone]

one of my favorite things is that when they’re showing off that sex toys have a bluetooth+internet thing so people can control them remotely, they always show a world map and two points labeled with city names and they’re ABSOLUTELY NOWHERE NEAR THE ACTUAL CITIES. 

[foone]

sex toy or vulcan starship? 

[foone]

OH MEHR SPIELMÖGLICHKEITEN! 

[foone]

this will give you the biggest orgasm of your life, but your mother will die. Oh well, there’s other parents.

[foone]

In the quiet night all you can hear is your rapid breathing

[foone]

found another tool! it’s scissors this time.

I’m not sure anyone of any gender really wants scissors near their genitals, so this may not be the best design

[foone]

sometimes all I can say is “what”

[foone]

is this vaporwave?

[foone]

I don’t think that’s how that works

[foone]

your strawberries will never be safe

[foone]

finally, the first robot that can eat a flan! 

[foone]

another fun trope in aliexpress sex toys: just listing off all the rooms of your house you could use it in! 

(Unlike all those terrible dildos that don’t work in the living room or kitchen)

[foone]

finally the first sex toy designed specifically for wizards! 

[clementine-kesh]

i’ve seen people counter the idea of polyamory as a solution to conflicting ships by saying that sometimes the characters in question would not work as a poly ship which is fair and often true but as an avid enjoyer of both polyamory and toxic relationships i think it’s kind of awesome when a particular poly configuration mostly exists to drive everyone involved to madness

[kinuskikakku]

Muistan sen yhden kerran kun sain homofoobikon hiljaiseksi.

Vuosi oli kai 2011-2012. Olin (kela)taksilla tulossa Kuopiosta kotiini Jämsään ja aika varhain ajon aikana kuski sit alkoi puhumaan homoista.

Kuski: Tai siis mua vain inhottaakin ajatella kun kaksi ISOA, RAAVASTA, KARVAISTA miestä suutelee!

Minä: Mmh. Kuulostaa siltä, että sä olet ajatellut asiaa todella paljon.

Seuraavat kolme tuntia täysi hiljaisuus. Ei edes radiota laittanut päälle.

[goottimetallitavara]

Tulee mieleen Facebook ja:

Joku mies: Ällöttää ajatella miesten välisiä pyllyleikkejä.

Antti Holma: Mitä jos miettisit välillä jotain muuta?

[annalisesartwork]

Pebble and sea glass paintings!

[lotusandclouds]

best possible answer

[kagamikoi]

prompt for @/tinybingy jc trying to make yanli’s lotus rib soup for young jin ling, having some sort of breakdown over it bc its not the same and he can’t do it but jin ling eats it anyways and without meaning to makes jc feel a lot better about it all

[bulhakovv]

[screenshotsofdespair]

[aubryjoi]

Did it 👍 (eventually)

[theside-b]

[3liza]

[nemfrog]

Dates due.

Internet Archive

[maxxie-or-smth]

who do you think i am? looking for recommendations

[lengthy-artery]

tshirt concept