Ole homo, tee rikoksia

Hey, I'm Aleksis, 25, transmasc. he/they, graduated and jobless. I make cursed food memes. 

[nachosforfree]

THE MAFIA PULLS ME OVER TO THE DICK SMASHER, TIRED OF NON-VIOLENT INTERROGATION. THEY LINE ME UP AND THE SMASHER SMASHES. THE MAFIA WATCHES IN SHOCK AS I TURN TO THEM UNSCATHED. I AM A TRANSGENDER MALE.

[girlnephew]

[transmechanicus]

6 hour workday maximum i’m not kidding, if it can’t be done in that timeframe it doesn’t need doing.

[vmprblood]

this doesn't apply to jobs like childcare

[transmechanicus]

If i worked in childcare and my 6 hours were up i would start putting babies in ziploc bags and shipping them to Turkmenistan listed as endangered fruits and vegetables

[anxeious]

[samueldrxkes]

sincerest apologies to anyone who has ever spoken to me on here

[adultlikers]

[porksweats]

e me a mail

[fortooate]

make the attachment a pic of a snail

[jumpingjacktrash]

give me two gifs

of critters in clover

[nuclearcarrots]

then photoshop them on the CLIIIIIIIFFS OF DOVER

[laurasinele]

I still reference this post today. And yes, when I say I reference it I mean I sing it.

[unirytmihairio]

tää helle on inspiroinu mua

[skeletonsiro]

in our copy of hana-bi the subtitles never leave the screen until something else is said

[hickeywiththegoodhair]

dude’s fucking TORN about whether or not to buy a beret

[rapunkzle]

[dizzy-lunar-sea]

In 3000ad tumblr is the last website

[netherator]

imagine it’s January 1st, 3000. tumblr somehow lives through several dozen companies like the cockroach it is. the code is barely recognizable. the entire website, now a repository of nearly a thousand years of posts, is petabytes in servers that, due to techological advances, are still barely larger than they are today. English isn’t even recognizable and you see this, a post in language a millennium out of date referencing a show that’s been dead almost as long.

[gaygoatshane]

happy pride

[revivivivify]

[chewedcorn]

My mom got tired of me making fun of her “Live Laugh Love” sign and modified it.

[no-sharks-on-the-sun]

[no-sharks-on-the-sun]

they killed him for this

[gloriousmonsters]

when you're feeling full hater mode about a piece of media but you know one of your beloved mutuals enjoys it

[ros-sauce]

(bravely) I think body parts should only hurt if something is wrong.

[kangamommynow]

And that something should be fixable

[teaboot]

Ideally with a warm bath and a good night's sleep

[cuunos]

being a kid and hearing adults say stuff like "woah 2011 was 4 years ago haha" didn't really convey the fucking horror of a youtube video crossing my recommended labelled "9 years ago" and it's from 2017. that's not true. 9 years ago is 2010 or something. don't lie.

[parkchanwoohoo]

Every time I hear people talk about satanic imagery or satanic propaganda I think about that tweet that was like, some people view Satan as a video game villain where he gets stronger the more people worship him

[parkchanwoohoo]

THIS ONE