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@kanamesharisenwrites
i'm not normally one for new year's resolutions because A) every time i've tried i've epically failed and B) realized the custom is driven by capitalism and some socially misinformed need to "fix" myself. but this year i really felt like, considering the state of my personal life, i should do something. so here goes...
heather's 2024 new year's sidequest list:
i'm not normally one for new year's resolutions because A) every time i've tried i've epically failed and B) realized the custom is driven by capitalism and some socially misinformed need to "fix" myself. but this year i really felt like, considering the state of my personal life, i should do something. so here goes...
heather's 2024 new year's sidequest list:
[ previous updates ]
End of Year Update!
i'm not normally one for new year's resolutions because A) every time i've tried i've epically failed and B) realized the custom is driven by capitalism and some socially misinformed need to "fix" myself. but this year i really felt like, considering the state of my personal life, i should do something. so here goes...
heather's 2024 new year's sidequest list:
january update!
my girlie and i went on our january adventure last weekend - to the zoo! it was the last day for the christmas zoolights event and i had never been before, so my girlie took me. we had tons fun walking around with our hot tea and taking cute pics together. we dressed up (just because we could!) and had a grand time
also, got my first couple starbucks cups - one for christmas and one for new years. the one for new years is my favorite - it's rose gold with a dragon wrapped around it since 2024 is the year of the dragon
february update!
i was so freaking busy over the past month i can't even. work was ridiculous with huge events and a ton of callouts (we got hit by some kind of non-covid plague, ugh)
but...
i also had a ton of adventures!
i got to go to the ren faire - 3 times! twice with my daughter and once with my daughter and my mom. i didn't realize how much my soul needed it! it's one of the few physical places i've been where i felt like i was amongst my people. i never post pics of myself on here, but i was so happy with my finery that i wanted to share - huzzah!
(i've decided i'm entering my meadow witch era, fyi)
i also got the amazing opportunity to be a hair model?! my boss tagged me in a post for a salon she knew. they were looking for a daring model to do dramatic hair color concept for a valentine's competition - and they chose me!
i thought it would be a great way to take my mind off of being single for the first valentine's day since i was fifteen. honestly, it was kismet. the theme of the competition was "bloody valentine", so i got to do a photoshoot as a dark, vengeful cupid, playing with fake blood and hearts. it was so freaking awesome
march and april update!
god, i've been so fucking busy where do i begin...
after a whirlwind of ren faire adventures in february, i was absolutely exhausted in pretty much everyway a person can be
during march, work was all long hours and stress with no time leftover for adventures. living with my ex - still - after 7 months separated with no end in sight took a toll on my mental health. i started having panic attacks and depressive episodes. and i didn't fucking like it. so i put my big girl panties on and got to work
i put time in at therapy and made some big changes. i'm on meds now for my anxiety and OMG do i feel better! but also, i gave my notice to my boss. i'll be leaving in september, moving to a piece of property that my daughter and i acquired on the opposite side of the state. and while i'll get some kind of job in the area once i relocate, ultimately my daughter and i will be going into business for ourselves as soon as we can get her dream of a coffee shop off the ground
(my therapist may have also convinced me that my dream of writing cozy romance novels of the smutty variety under a pseudonym was not only feasible but a good possible source of passive income?)
oh...! i also discovered a new band - well, new to me at least - and i'm obsessed with one of their songs. that's the first couple items off of my list to be 100% complete!
may update!
i have been so busy i can't even
we just finished moving my daughter out of her ridiculously overpriced rental and it was an ordeal. thankfully we're done with that era and ready to start our new one where we gut the double wide my parents gave me and turn it into the coziest little hobbit hole our combined finances will allow
in between travelling to help her move and keeping up with work, i've been applying for jobs nonstop. i think i've applied to 35 so far but honestly i've lost count. please send good vibes my way! the sooner i get a job, the sooner i can move out of my ex's place...
i'm almost done training my replacement at work, so i'm finally - FINALLY!!!!! - at the point that i can drag up and have no regrets or obligations hanging over my head
other things (possibly) less important: - i've managed to almost finish playing FFIV and i'd forgotten how much i love playing video games? god, it's so good to have that part of me back - i finally decided to watch bridgerton and i have SO MANY FEELINGS OMG. june 13 cannot come fast enough
june/july/august update!
it's been so long where do i even begin...
i have moved out of my ex's house and into my parents' house. i still have stuff at my ex's, but it's a process (what with work and travel and just everything) and he's being super patient about the whole thing
(which is in equal parts a relief and absolutely infuriating. because where was this patience during our marriage. where was this consideration of my needs. where was this ability to be a goddamned supportive partner when it actually mattered)
but i digress
moving in with the parentals is just a temporary thing thankfully. my daughter and i were able to qualify for a personal loan big enough to get us a pair of gently used 5th wheels. my parents are giving us a piece of land outside of town, inherited from my grandparents, to put them on. hopefully by the end of next month, we'll have the property setup and ready to live on
in other news, i have a new job as a line cook. but i hate it. it's hot. it's miserable. it's making my old body actually feel its age. i miss being a kitchen manager and having teenage minions help with the physically demanding parts of working in a professional kitchen. on the plus side, i managed to snag new new job, this time with starbucks (thank god, because i need the benefits so i can afford to get divorced instead of just legally separated). i'm just waiting to receive my official start date
finally, it feels like all those months of waiting and hoping and planning are starting to pay off
more things of note: - i bought myself a ring! it's silver and pink quartz and absolutely lovely. it also fills a 20-year whole in my heart. (i lost my wedding ring during a difficult pregnancy and my ex refused to buy me a new one) - i completed my reading goal for the year already, even with all the chaos! - i made a new friend at work, one who very wisely told me i was too good for the place and deserved to be somewhere better. he also took his own advice and went somewhere better, but he still keeps in touch - my daughter reconnected with her childhood sweetheart during her move - it's a long, romantic story that i may use as inspiration for a fic one day - and they're engaged! we're planning a trip to vegas later this year to celebrate the engagement - i got a new puppy! he's the cutest little pug named pippin and i'm in love (even if he's a complete fool of a took!)
Katniss loves getting old.
When the first strands of gray begin to appear on her head and decorate her hair with - what to Katniss - looks like silver threads. When the wrinkles form in her eyes on her cheeks and she realizes they are from all the smiles she has given over the last decade.
She begins to truly find herself beautiful, for the first time. Well, she always thought she's average. But today she feels satisfaction every time she looks in the mirror.
There were few she could know who had the privilege of growing old. She is one of those lucky ones. She doesn't feel completely worthy, but she's happy. Especially seeing her love grow old alongside her.
Peeta's blond hair masks the gray, but Katniss can see the slight change from gold to silver.
What really show his age are the freckles. When his skin thins with age, it becomes covered with brown spots on his nose and cheeks. Along with the white beard, he looks just like his father.
Katniss thinks he's so beautiful.
How lucky they are to see themselves weak, wrinkled and old in the mirror. When fate tried to kill them before their time and freeze their childish faces in death.
So every knee pain, every gray hair, every birthday is proof that life can improve.
i'm not normally one for new year's resolutions because A) every time i've tried i've epically failed and B) realized the custom is driven by capitalism and some socially misinformed need to "fix" myself. but this year i really felt like, considering the state of my personal life, i should do something. so here goes...
heather's 2024 new year's sidequest list:
january update!
my girlie and i went on our january adventure last weekend - to the zoo! it was the last day for the christmas zoolights event and i had never been before, so my girlie took me. we had tons fun walking around with our hot tea and taking cute pics together. we dressed up (just because we could!) and had a grand time
also, got my first couple starbucks cups - one for christmas and one for new years. the one for new years is my favorite - it's rose gold with a dragon wrapped around it since 2024 is the year of the dragon
february update!
i was so freaking busy over the past month i can't even. work was ridiculous with huge events and a ton of callouts (we got hit by some kind of non-covid plague, ugh)
but...
i also had a ton of adventures!
i got to go to the ren faire - 3 times! twice with my daughter and once with my daughter and my mom. i didn't realize how much my soul needed it! it's one of the few physical places i've been where i felt like i was amongst my people. i never post pics of myself on here, but i was so happy with my finery that i wanted to share - huzzah!
(i've decided i'm entering my meadow witch era, fyi)
i also got the amazing opportunity to be a hair model?! my boss tagged me in a post for a salon she knew. they were looking for a daring model to do dramatic hair color concept for a valentine's competition - and they chose me!
i thought it would be a great way to take my mind off of being single for the first valentine's day since i was fifteen. honestly, it was kismet. the theme of the competition was "bloody valentine", so i got to do a photoshoot as a dark, vengeful cupid, playing with fake blood and hearts. it was so freaking awesome
march and april update!
god, i've been so fucking busy where do i begin...
after a whirlwind of ren faire adventures in february, i was absolutely exhausted in pretty much everyway a person can be
during march, work was all long hours and stress with no time leftover for adventures. living with my ex - still - after 7 months separated with no end in sight took a toll on my mental health. i started having panic attacks and depressive episodes. and i didn't fucking like it. so i put my big girl panties on and got to work
i put time in at therapy and made some big changes. i'm on meds now for my anxiety and OMG do i feel better! but also, i gave my notice to my boss. i'll be leaving in september, moving to a piece of property that my daughter and i acquired on the opposite side of the state. and while i'll get some kind of job in the area once i relocate, ultimately my daughter and i will be going into business for ourselves as soon as we can get her dream of a coffee shop off the ground
(my therapist may have also convinced me that my dream of writing cozy romance novels of the smutty variety under a pseudonym was not only feasible but a good possible source of passive income?)
oh...! i also discovered a new band - well, new to me at least - and i'm obsessed with one of their songs. that's the first couple items off of my list to be 100% complete!
may update!
i have been so busy i can't even
we just finished moving my daughter out of her ridiculously overpriced rental and it was an ordeal. thankfully we're done with that era and ready to start our new one where we gut the double wide my parents gave me and turn it into the coziest little hobbit hole our combined finances will allow
in between travelling to help her move and keeping up with work, i've been applying for jobs nonstop. i think i've applied to 35 so far but honestly i've lost count. please send good vibes my way! the sooner i get a job, the sooner i can move out of my ex's place...
i'm almost done training my replacement at work, so i'm finally - FINALLY!!!!! - at the point that i can drag up and have no regrets or obligations hanging over my head
other things (possibly) less important: - i've managed to almost finish playing FFIV and i'd forgotten how much i love playing video games? god, it's so good to have that part of me back - i finally decided to watch bridgerton and i have SO MANY FEELINGS OMG. june 13 cannot come fast enough
Seriously though, modern fandom, y’all need to remember that you can, like, ship multiple ships.
Like I can ship two ships that are diametrically opposed, at the same time, because I like both ideas. You don’t have to choose one or the other.
Like I can ship, for example, Sam/Frodo, and also Sam/Rosie, both AT THE SAME TIME. I don’t have to pick ONE couple and denounce all others, and tell everyone else that their ships are WRONG and BAD and mine is the only TRUE AND CORRECT ship.
Related: You don’t have to sink other ships to sail yours.
Exactly! You can have more than one ship. You can have an ARMADA!!!
Ship everything and ship it so hard you end up sideways in the Suez.
goshdang whippersnappers, in my day it was an honor to designate a character your fandom bicycle. ship that blorbo uphill both ways in the snow, with a different character each time, so everyone can have a ride!
i'm not normally one for new year's resolutions because A) every time i've tried i've epically failed and B) realized the custom is driven by capitalism and some socially misinformed need to "fix" myself. but this year i really felt like, considering the state of my personal life, i should do something. so here goes...
heather's 2024 new year's sidequest list:
january update!
my girlie and i went on our january adventure last weekend - to the zoo! it was the last day for the christmas zoolights event and i had never been before, so my girlie took me. we had tons fun walking around with our hot tea and taking cute pics together. we dressed up (just because we could!) and had a grand time
also, got my first couple starbucks cups - one for christmas and one for new years. the one for new years is my favorite - it's rose gold with a dragon wrapped around it since 2024 is the year of the dragon
february update!
i was so freaking busy over the past month i can't even. work was ridiculous with huge events and a ton of callouts (we got hit by some kind of non-covid plague, ugh)
but...
i also had a ton of adventures!
i got to go to the ren faire - 3 times! twice with my daughter and once with my daughter and my mom. i didn't realize how much my soul needed it! it's one of the few physical places i've been where i felt like i was amongst my people. i never post pics of myself on here, but i was so happy with my finery that i wanted to share - huzzah!
(i've decided i'm entering my meadow witch era, fyi)
i also got the amazing opportunity to be a hair model?! my boss tagged me in a post for a salon she knew. they were looking for a daring model to do dramatic hair color concept for a valentine's competition - and they chose me!
i thought it would be a great way to take my mind off of being single for the first valentine's day since i was fifteen. honestly, it was kismet. the theme of the competition was "bloody valentine", so i got to do a photoshoot as a dark, vengeful cupid, playing with fake blood and hearts. it was so freaking awesome
march and april update!
god, i've been so fucking busy where do i begin...
after a whirlwind of ren faire adventures in february, i was absolutely exhausted in pretty much everyway a person can be
during march, work was all long hours and stress with no time leftover for adventures. living with my ex - still - after 7 months separated with no end in sight took a toll on my mental health. i started having panic attacks and depressive episodes. and i didn't fucking like it. so i put my big girl panties on and got to work
i put time in at therapy and made some big changes. i'm on meds now for my anxiety and OMG do i feel better! but also, i gave my notice to my boss. i'll be leaving in september, moving to a piece of property that my daughter and i acquired on the opposite side of the state. and while i'll get some kind of job in the area once i relocate, ultimately my daughter and i will be going into business for ourselves as soon as we can get her dream of a coffee shop off the ground
(my therapist may have also convinced me that my dream of writing cozy romance novels of the smutty variety under a pseudonym was not only feasible but a good possible source of passive income?)
oh...! i also discovered a new band - well, new to me at least - and i'm obsessed with one of their songs. that's the first couple items off of my list to be 100% complete!
I know the genie is out of the bottle and you can't go back but dear GOD I hate the mainstreamification of fandom so much
I do NOT want authors or showrunners or actors to acknowledge us or talk about fanfic or fanart or fan theories! I do NOT want people asking questions of the canon creators and getting them answered (make up your own answers, like god intended!) I do NOT want companies making jokey advertisements aimed toward fandom!
I know that fandom was never entirely underground but like... I miss that fourth wall existing, you know?
Poor Sakura, she's gotta depend on others to read to her.
Kakashi falling apart when reading Icha out loud will never not send me.
Idk I have to draw him for my health. It’s a real medical condition
the older i get and the closer i am to reaching 30, the more the people around me try to deny me my age. it’s a constant ‘oh you’re just turning 29 again teehee 🤭’ or ‘dont tell your SO that, he’ll leave you for a younger model 😉’ and i just???? hate it?????????
i spent my entire teenaged years fighting for my life. i crawled through the deepest pits of my depression to cling to the promise of a life beyond that pain. i was so convinced that i was going to die young, that i would never see the grace of my age starting with a 2, let alone 3.
so im going to turn 30, and there’s not a damn thing anyone can do to stop me from loving it.
this post was up for like five minutes and already im being told how wrong i am
fuck you, you can kiss my 30 year old ass
You know what? I needed to read this today
As someone who's going to be turning 34 this year-
Fuck those assholes for age shaming, be Thirty Flirty and Thriving!!
Live it up! Seize your happiness! Love yourself!
FUCK YEAH!
“I’ll always love you, the Bee Charmer.”
Important rules/tips I've learned as an adult that helped with anxiety
If people are mad at you, it's their responsibility to tell you, not your responsibility to guess
If they're mad at you in secret anyways, they're the ones in the wrong, not you
If people don't like what you're doing, it's their responsibility to tell you
If they say it's fine when it's really not, they're the ones in the wrong, not you
People are allowed to be wrong about you
If they are wrong about you, wait for them to bring it up, because if you try to, you will inevitably overcorrect
Some people are committed to misunderstanding you. You will not win arguments against them. Yes, even if you explain your point of view. They do not care. Drop it
The worst thing that will happen from a first-time offense is being told not to do it again. Maybe with a replacement if you broke something
You can improve relationships and gauge willingness to talk to you by giving compliments. It's like a daily log-in bonus and nobody thinks twice about it
Most things are better after you sleep on them
Most things are better after you have a meal
Most things are better after you shower
Your brain makes up consequences that are irrational. If the worst DOES come to pass and someone acts like they do in your head, they are overreacting, and you are entitled to say "what the fuck"
If your chest hurts after you feel like you've made a social error, that's called rejection-sensitive dysphoria. It means your anxiety is so bad that it's causing you physical pain, which is a good indicator that you're overreacting. Tense yourself, hold it for 20 seconds, let it go, then find a distraction
If you're suddenly angry at someone after you feel like you made a social error, that's also rejection-sensitive dysphoria. You are going to feel annoyed about it for awhile, but being genuinely pissed off is your anxiety trying to find something to blame to take the responsibility off your shoulders, and getting scared because it can't justify itself. Deep breaths, ask yourself how much you ACTUALLY want to be angry at that person, then find a distraction
"Sour grapes" is more healthy for you than stewing. Deciding you don't like someone who's perpetually annoyed with you, won't talk to you, etc. makes letting go of anxiety over them easier
If people don't like you, they will find reasons to be annoyed with you when they otherwise wouldn't. If people do like you, they will find reasons NOT to be annoyed with you when they otherwise would. People do not ping-pong between the two
You DO have to make a conscious choice not to think about something. If you're having trouble circling back to it, say out loud that you're done thinking about it and why. Then find a distraction
When you're upset, part of you is going to want to make false bids for attention (suddenly texting differently, heavy sighs, etc. but when someone asks you about it, you tell them it's nothing). Do not listen to it. You gain nothing from it except more misery
People like to help people they care about. It makes them feel good about themselves
If you think you're insufferable for needing help, see above. Yes, really. They get a serotonin kick from it
If you think you're insufferable for mannerisms you have, you either have to consciously choose not to do them, or accept that they're part of the package that comes with you. Being apologetic about existing does nothing except make you more miserable
If you do things you don't like when you feel meh about it, it makes it easier to do them when you hate it
If you avoid things you don't like when you feel meh about it, it reinforces and magnifies how bad it feels when you hate it
Seriously. Read those last two points again. If you can make yourself make a phone call when you've got nothing to lose, you will slowly lose that panic you get when you have to make a phone call you haven't prepared for. You do have to CONSCIOUSLY take that step
Hobbies that make you care for something get rid of that nagging feeling that you're not doing enough. Go grow some rosemary
If you don't engage with your hobbies regularly, you will feel miserable, and anxiety will spike
Hobbies are things that give you a bit of happiness. They do not have to be organized or named to do that. Go be creative in something. Play with coins. Make up lists. Start a new WIP
No one cares what you look like
If people point out things they don't like about how you look unprompted, they are being rude. You are entitled to say "what the fuck"
People who like you will find you pretty to some degree. Minor things about your appearance go completely unnoticed. Literally, scars and dots and blemishes do not register to someone who likes your company
You looking at yourself in the mirror is 10x more closely than anyone is going to look at you
If you're anxious about your body type, and you're creatively inclined, make/write an oc with that same shape. Give them nice things and make other characters love them. Put them on adventures. You'll start to see yourself in the mirror more kindly
You care about wording and perfect lines/colors way more than anyone who views your work ever will
Sometimes when you're upset, you're going to feel like not eating. Do not do that. Not eating makes you more miserable
Same with things you normally enjoy. Denying yourself helps no one. You are punishing yourself for being sad. Stop it
Both of these will take conscious decision to break the habit of. Make yourself do it anyways, and it will slowly get easier
And again, to reiterate: If someone is mad at you, it is THEIR responsibility to tell you, not your responsibility to guess
i'm not normally one for new year's resolutions because A) every time i've tried i've epically failed and B) realized the custom is driven by capitalism and some socially misinformed need to "fix" myself. but this year i really felt like, considering the state of my personal life, i should do something. so here goes...
heather's 2024 new year's sidequest list:
january update!
my girlie and i went on our january adventure last weekend - to the zoo! it was the last day for the christmas zoolights event and i had never been before, so my girlie took me. we had tons fun walking around with our hot tea and taking cute pics together. we dressed up (just because we could!) and had a grand time
also, got my first couple starbucks cups - one for christmas and one for new years. the one for new years is my favorite - it's rose gold with a dragon wrapped around it since 2024 is the year of the dragon
february update!
i was so freaking busy over the past month i can't even. work was ridiculous with huge events and a ton of callouts (we got hit by some kind of non-covid plague, ugh)
but...
i also had a ton of adventures!
i got to go to the ren faire - 3 times! twice with my daughter and once with my daughter and my mom. i didn't realize how much my soul needed it! it's one of the few physical places i've been where i felt like i was amongst my people. i never post pics of myself on here, but i was so happy with my finery that i wanted to share - huzzah!
(i've decided i'm entering my meadow witch era, fyi)
i also got the amazing opportunity to be a hair model?! my boss tagged me in a post for a salon she knew. they were looking for a daring model to do dramatic hair color concept for a valentine's competition - and they chose me!
i thought it would be a great way to take my mind off of being single for the first valentine's day since i was fifteen. honestly, it was kismet. the theme of the competition was "bloody valentine", so i got to do a photoshoot as a dark, vengeful cupid, playing with fake blood and hearts. it was so freaking awesome
got told at lunch "you feel like Tumblr Incarnate" and i had to tell them i've been here for 13 years and counting. i was here three years before dashcon happened. i saw the mishapocalypse. i survived the gigapause. i've been here longer than the shoelaces post. i've been here since it was hipsters versus fandom and i played both sides extensively by overdoing the sepia filters on everything and making my own flashing galaxy gif edits for my fandom posts. i'm every tumblr. it's all in me
Oh ancient one what wisdom do you hold?
99% of callout posts are bullshit and just petty personal drama someone is escalating to get even on a grudge. do not engage with these, do not freelance as a cop
DNIs do not work. accept this. internalize that people you don't like will see your posts and engage with them. this is unavoidable and the sooner you make peace with it the freer your mind will be. block the freaks and don't sweat the small stuff
building a tight knit circle of fellow weirdos who vibe with your particular quirks and taste is infinitely more rewarding and sustainable than chasing the biggest numbers
don't respond to bad-faith arguments or bad takes; just block people, blacklist tags, filter post content, and move on. don't feed the trolls (or the bigots)
don't hate-follow
don't tag your hate (ex. if you're posting about how much you hate a ship, don't tag it as that ship, etc.)
don't feel obligated to keep following someone who posts stuff that upsets/depresses/angers/bores you just because you know them really well, or because you're mutuals, or because you used to like what they post. following is nothing personal and neither is unfollowing
op doesn't know you; avoid parasocial relationships
don't pick fights or reblog posts just to disagree/argue
spread joy and positivity in your circles
disable anonymous asks
This is some of the best social media advice (and advice for being a human among humans generally) I've ever seen.
All of this. For people asking how I've survived here for over 12 years...
