Some of my thoughts today!!
Being used on a surgery table against my will but still signing away my life will always have my interest. I’d give anything to look at a doctor and see his lips move as the anesthesia starts to take affect and they grab one of the sharpest tools while I can feel the slightest panic set into my body. It feels like forever before I knock out. Whenever I wake up I see something else on my back but it wasn’t what the surgery was supposed to be. It was a different process. Now I have to come back next week, but who am I to complain. I fucking love this.
To be told by my doctor, “Oh it’s my favorite patient!” Or whenever I come in they look me up and down and I can feel like I’m just in a state of vulnerability that I have never felt. Feel the cold supplies on and in my body. Them telling me, “It’s almost like you come just to see me, you seem to be completely healthy.” Little do they know that’s all I did do. I went just for them.
