Ha. I'm beautiful.

生まれに文句はないね。。。

[certofiel-blog]

Why you have to be so rude Shofu, I'm a buy your trading cards and use em to wipe my ass. LMFAO

[certofiel-blog]

　The first sign that something is wrong, is that Horikawa hears splashing before he hears any running water. Everything after that happens too quickly to really make sense of any of it, aside from the fact that he should never, ever overestimate Kane-san again. Splash, splash. Flush. SCREAMING. SOUNDS OF A SWORD CLANGING AGAINST SOMETHING. ‘FREE ME’.

　Of course his first instinct is to drop everything and burst through the door of the bathroom, and he’s not sure if he’s really allowed to be surprised by the sight that awaits him, and the only sight that one could expect after such an audio performance had been ringing through the cabin. He’s trying not to let his features turn to disgust. He’s really trying. First and foremost he should try to help Kane-san be freed of what has trapped his hair but… it’s so hard…

　Even for Kane-san, this is a new low.

　“H-hold on, Kane-san!” Taking off his jacket and immediately rolling his sleeves as far up his arms as they’ll go, the wakizashi can’t help but lament the laundry he’s going to do, and the shower he’s going to want after this task is complete. Well, Kane-san will need one even more, won’t he? With hands now free of anything to get in the way, sitting beside the tachi, Horikawa does his best to make him calm down in his ATTACKS well enough to group his hair together and grab on. “On three,” He starts, “We pull.” Which would typically be a dangerous course of action with somebody’s beautiful hair on the line, but Kane-san’s is well taken care of and it can surely take the stress. So he counts… “One… Two… Three!”

　Without any hesitation, Horikawa puts all his strength into tugging on the hair that’s been so unfortunately caught in the pipes. It’s worth it, he has to remind himself, for Kane-san’s hair. He has to do this, he reminds himself, because he’s Kane-san’s assistant. It isn’t that he wouldn’t want to do this for the treasures tachi, and he most certainly feels a genuine concern, fear, worry, and all sorts of other synonyms from the bottom of his heart - but sometimes the things that happen in life just make you need a reminder for yourself of why you go to such lengths.

　And lo and behold… lucky break! It only takes about three tugs for Kane-san to be freed of the beast that has attacked him, and his hair comes essentially flying back out of the toilet bowl from the effort that had been expended in freeing it. It’s more terrifying than relieving in context however; just as should be expected from anything that’s gone and caught itself in a toilet…

　“UWAAHH!!”

　Kane-san’s hair does not look beautiful right now.

[kanesexy]

     He’s freaking out. Jesus! Jesus! Danger! Danger! Why did this happen, he doesn’t know what a true hero is and not even when Kunihiro busts in like Superman. He isn’t so sure about this but the way the male rolls up his sleeves like he’s about to get to work, he is not having this. “No. No. No. No. No. WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?” Lord, when will he not do this. He’s going to cry if anything happens to his hair. Eyes close like he’s at the dentist and doesn’t want to see the needle get injected into his mouth but he can feel the burn of the anesthesia when the other starts to count for when the pull will come.

     “Just.. Be careful. I’m trusting you.” Of course, maybe he shouldn’t say these things since Kunihiro is going to do nothing but set him up! Luckily, Kanesada is an anime and vidya so when the pull is done, his hair does make it’s way out of the pipes with ease thanks to Kunihiro (no thanks to him). Taking a step back and a loud whine that leaves from his lips, he can’t even look at his beautiful black locks anymore, they seem to be covered in.. something that isn’t all beautiful.

     Roses really smell like woo-woo-woo-woo. :C

     Covering his eyes, he’s silent from the fact this happened to him and only him? Why didn’t the other tell him that this thing would happen? Honestly, it’s his fault but who is the true one suffering here? Where is the lie. “...”

     Really, there’s no need to talk when he believes that his whole appearance is just ruined. Biting his bottom lip and sucking in a little sniffle. He calls out the male’s name with almost a kind tone, too kind to be honest. “:c”. Hands dropping to their side, “>:C” There’s so many mixture of emotions that Kanesada is going through, “>:(” Lord, God, open your clouds and just shine down on this tachi for about a few seconds, he really needs it.

     Luckily God looks out, his light shines down though it cannot be seen and the younger now places his hands against his face so the other can’t see it. “Why did you do me like this Kunihiro..” He asks, he needs to know why the other let him almost die. “Why didn’t you tell me this would happen, you could have saved this amount of 60 year stress off my face but alas... ALAS.”

[kanesexy]

why twitter user owlcity be like When you open a new box of kleenex and you try to take the top one out and it just rips in half bc i felt that on the most spiritual level bc im gunna CRY

[collaredcrow]

It had been a busy day at Build-a-Bear, putting bread on the table by bringing little creatures to life, stuffing their empty cases with love and fluffy cotton. A very technical operation, people could die probably, that required literal MINUTES of intense training; this was not a job for the fainthearted.

By the time Bokuto had made it home, tired yet fulfilled, the last thing he’d been expecting to find was a wild western-style stare-off going down in the kitchen between Kanesada and an owl. How long had this been going on? Minutes? HOURS? How did the owl even get into the apartment?

“OHOAA!! Kanesada, look!! It’s an owl!” Bokuto felt like he was being scolded for the bird being there but… “Nope, I dunno who owns it!” Truthfully, the animal didn’t belong to him, though he could only assume that it found him by some sort of magnetic pull, some sort of owly instinct — birds of a feather flocked together, after all. He must have been a king of some sort. 

It all happened so fast, yet the bird’s journey from perched atop the windowsill to the back of Kanesada’s head transpired before him in slow motion, what followed after was a downward spiral into a disaster of biblical proportions; shouting and screaming, feathers flying everywhere. There was no chill.

“I THINK IT JUST LIKES YOU? IT WANTS TO BE YOUR FRIEND??” The shouting, Bokuto realised, perhaps a moment too late, may had startled the bird, if the fact that it was now wildly flapping it’s wings was anything to go by. Realising that this new development would only worsen the situation, Bokuto reached for the creature, held it’s sides like one of the stuffed animals from work, and attempted to remove it from Kanesada’s person. He was met with resistance, claws loosely tangled in well-kept locks, though it was nothing that a gentle tug could untangle. “Don’t make any sudden movements!” 

A small pull saw the owl’s claws slip free from Kanesada’s hair, a tuft left sitting out of place, though otherwise no damage done. I can be your hero baby. I can kiss away the pain.

“Bet your glad I’m here, huh!!” Over the moon, no doubt. Letting the bird take perch on his forearm, Bokuto watched at it continued to bore holes into Kanesada. It must have really liked him! “What should we do with it?” Pets were apparently off the table.

[kanesexy]

     Every movement the owl does into his hair is slowly breaking Kanesada down mentally, being beautiful didn’t make up the sword but.. it should be taken care of. How dare this bird mess up what mother nature (more like smithing) had created? A twitch every time something is said and at the fact of the bird wanting to be friends.. he’d be damned? He DOESN’T NEED FRIENDS.. they disappoint him anyway.. Unless they beg for him and maybe, perhaps, he’ll generously be their friend.

     “Why can’t God just take me now?” He questions, death sounds pretty nice right now and maybe save him from the future torture of the bird, this boy, his own assistant and etc. Why does this feel like it’s taking 3000 years he wonders, can’t he just do his job and remove it already! “This is belittling how dare this happen to me?” A shiver down his spine as he feels uncomfortable, it sn’t long until the animal is removed and this brings Kanesada to jump forward and with a turn on his foot, a frown placed on his features.

     “Maybe if you WEREN’T here, that damn thing wouldn’t be here!” Someone has to take the blame, honestly not Kanesada because this is nothing he would do. Though by calling that beast a ‘thing’ he sees that it’s still staring at him. Looking for the lord right about now. “I don’t know, that creature is out for me and..” my dashing good looks? A shake of his head as he tries to figure out how it probably even got in which he’s 100% sure the boy had done it.

     Punishment is at hand! “Honestly, I don’t care. Get it out my house, you too, get out my house.” Emphasize on the ‘my’ is what he means and he wants the other to understand, being a sword owned by Hijikata himself, he isn’t all too kind like his assistant. “Want me to show you to the door since I’m already aware you know where to go but it’s the least I can do for having you remove that monster away from me, you and it can find a tree to live in.”

[settere]

But… it’s just a toilet. It’s in every house, and it’s not alive, so it can’t… “devour you.” Just… leave the bathroom before you cut through a pipe, or something — now that’d be troublesome.

… though, I guess we could always call a hot plumber to help us out! ★

[kanesexy]

A pipe.. Is that it’s weakness? You must tell me where it’s loca--? A hot plumber?

I see...

Are those.. the only people  who knows the secret behind these foul monsters!? Then I shall call for them.

[Walking to the window, opening it, he places his hands down on the edge and leans his head out.]

HOT PLUMBER, WE NEED YOU TO COME HERE! HOT PLUMBER...!

[settere]

Stop trying to push it out, it’s kind of attached to the ground you know.

[kanesexy]

     Do you not appreciate my protection over you, you don’t understand! These are monsters, they try to devour you whole with one fell swoop! If it’s attached to the ground I’ll find another way to remove it, we must destroy the level of this housing that contains THIS beast, please go stand outside.

[settere]

[kanesexy]

     Pushes your toilet out your house.

[certofiel-blog]

Why you have to be so rude Shofu, I'm a buy your trading cards and use em to wipe my ass. LMFAO

[certofiel-blog]

　“Uwaah - my fault!? Laughing? Who was laughing at you, Kane-san? Even if it was Iwatooshi-san or Yamabushi-san again, I’m sure that it can’t be that bad!” After all, even if he hadn’t been keeping up those two are just prone to loud, obnoxious laughter. They’re pretty light-hearted, really! Nothing that anybody but Kane-san would ever consider getting worked up about. While he can’t help but feel concerned about the stress the tachi has… it’s still pretty entertaining to watch his strange ways as he panics, and what he’s saying is really the best! Lopsided abs are somewhere between hilarious and horrifying when it comes to Kane-san’s figure.

　Well, either way cute isn’t SO bad, is it? Maybe Horikawa needs to step up his game - when cute is all he’s heard thus far and now his admired Kane-san is denouncing just that… Right, he’ll need to work towards a more mature style, as well! “There’s no need to worry, Kane-san, I’m sure you’ll regain it in no time at all. Of course, I’ll do everything I can to assist you too!”

　But when it comes to the fate the has befallen him and the origin of the flooding itself the wakizashi can only shake his head at the question. He hasn’t got a clue how this happened, only knowing that he needs to get Kane-san somewhere dryer if he’s going to fix him up. “Ah, well, I don’t know about that but my room is only a few halls away, so it’s alright!” Tucking the clothes and such that he’s gathered up under one arm, his free hand reaches for Kane-san’s wrist, (a little wet - a little gross,) and tugs him along.

　And luck has apparently smiled upon them today, because Horikawa’s light steps eventually cease to cause the sound of small puddles splashing or even the squish of wet carpet beneath them. Maybe he’s blessed. His room is unharmed but for some rubble outside of it that seems telling of the bizarre circumstances on the ship, which are of course negligible as Horikawa pulls his partner inside. With that, his wrist is released and the tachi is greeted with a wide grin.

　“The bathroom is over there, Kane-san. Please rinse the drool off of your face and the dirty water out of your hair while I get everything ready out here!”

[kanesexy]

     If only he knew of Kunihiro’s thoughts, that he believes this to be funny!! What is Kanesada? A JOKE? Never! No one will understand this problem he’s going through. He blinks as he tries to get himself together, a sigh leaving from his lips and he’s trying to deal with himself, this is such a bad time for him. It doesn’t take long for the other to place his greedy little hands on such perfection as Kanesada’s skin and pulls him along towards his room since the only reason he’s even going is that so he can clean himself up! This is giving him such a hard time.

     “You always look out for my best looks Kunihiro, though beautiful isn’t everything it can be maintained.” It’s true, if you were crafted with it, take care of it, unlike Kashuu who seems to be over the top with the idea but.. He isn’t the one who’s all dirty and covered in disgusting water. Finally inside of a room that has no water flooding the carpets, why did bad luck have to come and attach himself to him? Closing his eyes and a hand raised to his head as he tries to keep calm.

     Or.. What he could call calm.

     Running into the bathroom because you have to remove the problem before it becomes bigger, he closes the door behind himself and is given all sorts of things to mess with. He rubs his chin a little, trying to see where he should start first. Where is the water to clean himself up? Scanning around until he finds an area that has visible water for him to use, he sits down in front of it..

     Digging his hands into the bowl (well, that’s what it looks like to him), he begins to splash the water onto his face and it’s not so bad but it just feels out of the ordinary to not go to a nearby well of sorts? Or maybe this is a well.. It’s almost like the same thing without the bucket! Smacking it against his face so that he can wash away the drool on his facial features, he shakes his head to rid himself of some of the liquid that’s dropping down.

     Now..

     The hard part! His hair! Grabbing locks of it, he sits it inside of the toilet so that it can soak until there’s something that catches his eye. It’s a lever and maybe it works to make more water appear? Majority of his hair already resting inside and he curiously pushes it down. What happens next.. lord... He’s having a moment. A yanking sensation is done and the toilet begins to suck down on Kanesada’s hair.

     “OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO IT’S EATING ME?!?!?” He tries to pull his hair back but fighting this MONSTER is becoming a task since it’s trying to devour his hair. Quickly unsheathing his sword at his side, he tries to cut at the monster’s side but nothing happens! It’s hide is just too strong, lord, WHY IS IT STILL SUCKING!! But then it stops but his hair.. it’s stuck.. 

     “LET ME GO, YOU BASTARD?” Putting his foot at the stool and trying to push back, “FREE ME.”

[kanesexy]

why twitter user owlcity be like When you open a new box of kleenex and you try to take the top one out and it just rips in half bc i felt that on the most spiritual level bc im gunna CRY

     This is well, for the most part... Unnerving.. Yellow eyes stare at him from afar in his kitchen, just staring and Kanesada has nothing but a hard time. Why is this happening to him? The BEAUTIFUL him? How beautiful he is can’t help but be stretched considering he is a very cool and good looking guy, even if he’s gained a little weight and his wonderful (if not scary), dutiful assistance is to make out a good diet regimen for him but.. this was not on the menu at all.

     Sitting at the table and closing his eyes, he peeks out one of them to see if the other is still looking at him. Sadly he is. It is, why is it HERE?

     Leaning back, the tachi folds his hands over the table because this is too much. Why is it STARING at him? Did Kunihiro leave this for Kanesada as some JOKE? He can’t eat this, it’s creepy, why is this even a thing? Though, it doesn't take long until he hears the apartment door’s open, his eyes glancing at who has just walked in and yet even if it’s just a moment, surely it’s fleeting and his eyes widen.

     “YOU!” He doesn’t care for formalities, he knows this is the person he’s married to but never really gave him any mind. Besides, Kanesada usually left the apartment at odd times of the hour so their time isn’t really spent together a lot. Though you have to be really cool to even have him around and cute, his beauty can eat up cute.

     “IS THIS... THIS BEAST YOURS?” He is so stressed as he points to the animal sitting next to the window, watching them. Waiting. Planning. “You both have this same eye ordeal going on and I don’t allow pets in this household if you aren’t aware! People think pets are cute, hello? Not in this house, I’m the only one who can be that.” It’s at this moment.. the unspeakable is done.

     The owl flaps it’s way directly into the back of Kanesada’s head and latches onto his hair with it’s clawed feet, as realization TRULY hit. He’s silent, he’s taking it in... And then... THEN..

     He screams. Nice going.. Kanesada.. nice going.      “GET IT OFF, GET IT AWAY FROM ME MY NATURAL PERFECTION!?” He’s having a moment, he can’t even move.. afraid that this BEAST will just mess up his hair but little did anyone know, this owl is a manipulator.

[certofiel-blog]

Why you have to be so rude Shofu, I'm a buy your trading cards and use em to wipe my ass. LMFAO

[certofiel-blog]

　There’s a big sense of accomplishment when he manages to get Kane-san to his feet, as with every morning, but huh? Something about this time is strange! Instead of the usual grogginess and irritability the tachi would normally possess so early in the morning just as the sun rises, he’s full of energy for some reason! His eyes are wide and it seems to be only an instant since he’s stood up before he falls once again to his knees - which, by the way, Horikawa is troubled to see have become all wet now due to the flooding in his room.

　“Of course I remember your measurements, Kane-san, but I didn’t say you were fat. Muscle weighs more doesn’t it? Unless…” Trailing off, a bit of concern traces his features and he seems to become a bit more troubled my his partner’s apparent stress. Cut out the rice? Keep the sake? No way - that’s all wrong! Discovery after discovery is made by Kane-san rapidly, and by the time he’s finished listing off his battle plan Horikawa can only give a sigh.

　“While we were separated…. you didn’t keep up your training properly, did you?” It seems the most apparent cause of this problem, the fact that he hadn’t gained muscle having become regrettably apparent. “Well, there’s no helping it then - I’ll make sure to give you a strict diet that even Kane-san can stick to! We’ll have you back to your beautiful figure in no time! - Ah, and as for the water…” He ignores the nightmare part. Better yet, he doesn’t even hear the nightmare part. His precious partner, Izumi no Kami Kanesada, would never refer to Horikawa Kunihiro as anything but his most trusted assistant of course. He blinks and carries on.

　Glancing down, wet feet are what greet him with a few inches of water leaking through the bottom of the cabin. He’s not sure what the meaning of this is or where it’s coming from, but obviously, “Your room appears to be flooding, Kane-san!” So turning, Horikawa makes to rummage through a nearby dresser and pull out the proper clothing that Kane-san will need for his day, a brush, and a towel that happens to be conveniently nearby (and high enough to avoid the rising water level). He glances back, tone somewhat scolding as he speaks up. “Come on, you rolled all over the water, so we’ll have to find another room for you to get changed in. I’m sure my cabin will be alright, or we could go to a bathroom. Your hair will be ruined for the day if we don’t fix it soon though, Kane-san, so we should hurry.”

[kanesexy]

     How could Kunihiro blame HIM for this? Who’s fault is this really? Where is the lie? Maybe if Kunihiro was here for him back at home, this wouldn’t have happened. “You can’t just blame me Kunihiro.. for... FOR THIS? Where were YOU when I ate too much, when all those people laughed at me.. or was that a dream? Is this a dream?” He needs to know, he has to know, why did this happen to him, he feels age adding onto his beautiful skin honestly from this.

     “What if I get stretch marks?” Looking to the camera in the room, he’s so sure he can see the lord but he closed his clouds. Lord, please come back! “I did enough training you don’t know that!?” Looking off to the side and feeling his chest, “Is my six pack still there.. oh my.. god.. WHY DO I FEEL 5.. WHERE IS THE 6TH ONE.” He’s having a conniption but his eyes watch his small assistance make his way towards a dresser to get the most important supplies.

“Please get me back to beautiful.. right now I’m just.. cute? Beauty eats up cute...Cute is just suffering.” Hand to chest and he hopes that Kunihiro can understand, “Yes, I trust you with my diet, make me absolutely flawless so I never wake up like this again.” His hair is damp and he hates it, it feels so disgusting and he shudders. “Wait.. why IS my room flooding, what... why..” He jumps at the tone in the male’s voice, why is the other have to sound cranky at him? What has he done!

     Fall back.. Perhaps?

     “My..”

     “My HAIR. Make haste Kunihiro, lead me to your cabin, hopefully it isn’t flooding either. I can’t be a hot mess when I don’t even know where I am, such hair.” He whimpers sadly, hands digging in the wet mass and he can feel his life soaking out of him. He walks towards him, his haori being removed from his shoulders since it’s wet. “Of all people, how could this happen to us.” Mostly him, him.

     Me!Me!Me!

[settere]

ok but a lot of my friends tell me that i look like beyonce

[settere]

Truth be told, he feels offended. By this cruise, by this man, by the boy in the red jacket and by the chicken. All of this is offensive on personal level, and he can’t quite believe that they’re making him watch this… disgusting display. As Kanesada halts with him, and mocks the clearly enraged chicken, Oikawa snorts; he’s fairly positive it’s impossible, but then again, chickens do have sharp beaks. It’s just that they’re usually rather docile — or, at least, female chickens are. This one is a rooster (the feathers on his head kind of remind him of Kuroo’s hair, really) and it’s clearly out for blood.

Thankfully, not Oikawa’s.

As it latches onto the boy’s leg (Oikawa thinks he looks pretty familiar — did he try to intrude to hang out with his daughter once? If he did, Oikawa is glad he didn’t let him in), he screams in pain, falling straight onto his butt. The sound that the fall produces is… unnatural, at best. Instead of a sharp smack of bone hitting the wooden panels, a squelch can be heard, and then he sees… it.

”Oh my God, oh — ugh, I’m going to throw up,” one of his hands wanders to Kanesada’s shoulder as he turns away, leaning on the man slightly. “Ohhhh my God, what did I do to see this, aaah! This is so disgusting!" As he freaks out, the boy continues screaming, as the chicken keeps to tear at skin and flesh. A sick smell of feces and blood rises in the air, and Oikawa has to pinch his own nose to keep it out. Honestly, he’d rather choke than open his mouth right now — death seems like the better option.

He’s nearly in tears by the time Flava comes down, commenting on letting the boy on the yacht. As stupid as the old man is, Oikawa has to agree — who’s even married to this guy? Whoever it is, he feels deeply sorry for their loss. 

When he gets the courage to look again, he sees a massacre — the chicken had left the boy’s leg, but it looks positively destroyed, flesh and bone visible through long tears in his sweatpants. He’s still screaming, the sound of his voice blocking out most of the noise, but something else catches Oikawa’s attention — namely, the chicken, who seems to be running after his daughter now. Ayano looks scared, trying to avoid suffering Shintaro’s fate, and Oikawa feels panic — he can’t just let her leg get eaten, can he?

”Sorry, I’m going to borrow this real quick,” he says to the stranger, grabbing the hilt of the sword fastened by his side. He pulls it out with one, smooth swing of his arm — and while he can’t be sure that the sword’s even real, if he can hit the chicken with it, it should be fine, right? And just like that, he jumps into the crowd and away from Shintaro and the awful smell, chasing after the chicken. Ayano seems trapped, her only way out being jumping into the water — he approaches the chicken from behind, sneaking up on it slowly, until it’s within the reach of the sword to cut.

With a deep breath (he’s not heartless — killing an animal still makes him sad, regardless of how monstrous said animal is) he swings the sword once — tears the chicken apart with one, smooth cut, improvising completely. He’s seen sword-fighting in anime before, though, so really, how hard can it be? Aside from cutting the chicken, the tip of the sword gets stuck in the wooden boards underneath. He tugs on it a few times to pull it out clumsily, and when he does, people swarm around him, cheering.

”THIS HERO HAS SLAIN THE BEAST! GIVE IT UP FOR YA BOOOOI!” Flava yells, throwing his hands up in the air, and the crowd responds in a similar manner. He’s surrounded, now, but his gaze wanders to seek the stranger — he did take his sword, after all.

He still has to apologize and give it back.

[kanesexy]

     Perhaps it’s these moments that make Kanesada question if this is really a dream, of course at first he thought this was a nightmare. He was not having a sweet dream right now so he takes a deep breath as he watches the shock and horror. People don’t know how to take this and some look away as they try to keep their lunch in, gagging sounds and screams continue to fill the air. The smell mixed with it brings the tachi to click his tongue considering there’s so much going on.

     The male next to him falls into the clothing of the other and he quickly raises a hand to place it over him, it’s nature, who wouldn’t want to be protected by Kanesada? “I’m here, it’s fine. I’ll battle each and every foe that cause you turmoil.” Words spoken as the arm of his haori’s sleeve is resting on top of Oikawa’s head for minor protection. He is a sword so he can take some damage if the chicken decided to come their direction. Though what is unsuspected that someone with a scarf is funning away and it draws the brunette’s attention, people stepping in the feces that covers the deck in one area and she being one of them is able to jump over it. Sorry homie, girl’s got to live.

     It’s at this moment because begin to run in a panic, this confuses the male as he tries to find where the poultry had ran to. It’s white feathers covered in crimson blood and the flesh of the young boy it took a liking to. The girl seems to be next--- though as a hand goes to draw his sword, it’s already missing? “W.. WHAT?” He yells shocked as he remembers a voice that spoke to him and looking under his arm, the male is gone.

     “AHH.. Doesn’t he know that’s dangerous?” In mild disbelief, he makes sure to use his tallness to an advantage to find where the boy have ran off to. They’re about the same height so he should be able to find him but yet-- it’s becoming tedious. Eyes fall back to the young girl who seems to risk her life just to get away, as if she’s ready but a Hero comes, 18 years and strong more longer! With a swipe of his blade, Kanesada can feel how the sweep is done, killing another life without consent and yet-- he doesn’t mind. A hand raises to grip at his chest and he feels his adrenaline rush-- though a deep breath is taken as he tries to pinpoint where that young male has taken himself.

     He looks at his hands once more,thumb running against it’s digits believing to be a faint liquid there but it’s nothing. Him looking around causes him to almost bump into someone, though they aren’t of importance though there’s a young boy in the same red jacket who gets up screaming in pain, almost trying to reach out to the female with the scarf. Having been saved by the chicken which Flava Flav had annouced while walking over to give ‘Hoopz’s his first clock.

     Now, the male in pain who tries to get up is a fool as his bone cracks backwards, the skeletal mass peeking out his back leg as he falls forward and his pants reveal more of the substance that must be hidden from the lord, that falls onto the back of the open and broken wound. It hurts and it stings so Kanesada wishes he could put the man out of his misery but the male limps forward and accidentally trips falling overboard into the sea.

     “...” He doesn’t know what to say but his attention is grasped when he sees a gaze that scans above the group people, his eyes locking on and moving forward. “Oikawa Tooru,” He speaks as he moves towards him to see that the sword is covered in red and that the other had actually killed Flava’s next meal. “With one stroke and you didn’t miss, how could you conquer that?” Not that he’s a tedious sword at all, though his gaze does stare in wanting answers. “Do you know what it means to carry such a strong and cool sword?”

     “Obviously without me, you wouldn’t be a hero, has the odds worked out in your favor?”

[certofiel-blog]

Why you have to be so rude Shofu, I'm a buy your trading cards and use em to wipe my ass. LMFAO

[certofiel-blog]

　Thump.

　That’s about the only response Horikawa gets, peeking over the other side of the bed his partner had just rolled off of with a sense of moderate concern, and just in time to watch the younger tachi roll right onto the hair that is so painstakingly taken care of. “Uwaah, Kanesan, that’s no good!” Speaking just as if the other is entirely conscious, he wastes no time in circling around and attempting to right the terrible wrong that has occurred. Especially so because, moments ago, Horikawa doesn’t remember having seen water on Kanesan’s floor - but that thought can wait. The priority as of right now is getting him out of that water.

　With his much smaller arms tugging at the larger tachi’s to try and pull him at least a little upright, (and the hair that is so diligently cared for out of the puddle,) even so he finds it in him to talk. He’s used to this kind of task so he doesn’t mind, but the strain of trying to keep the younger sword up at all is apparent in his voice. “Ahh, wow, Kanesan! I can tell you’ve been working hard while we were separated.” Horikawa beams, not insincere at all. “You must have, because muscle weighs more than fat and geez, you’re heavier than I remember you being!”

　Well, anyway, it might seem like he’s talking to someone as asleep as a lot but who knows. Sometimes Kanesan is just slow to get up or respond, and sometimes he even talks back - if only to tell Horikawa to get out of his room with a look of horror in his eyes! Who knows, maybe he’ll even repeat the wakizashi’s words right back to him. What matters is that he gets to say it, and he’s pretty confident that Kanesan will hear what he’s said somehow through that sleepy daze of his. Could his words be taken the wrong way? No, no, of course not!

[kanesexy]

     It’s these words that allow eyes to just go O.O with ease, never mind being pulled up he can get to his feet himself as he’s now wide awake. Hands to his face and lord has he became stressed. Hair doesn’t weigh him down at all, it’s the fat that is slowly wanting to make Kanesada fall down to his knees. “What do you MEAN FAT?!” He asks, this is an uproar, what does Kunihiro MEAN heavy!? “You remmeber my measurements.. my WEIGHT.. what .. does this mean.. I’ve gained an extra pound or two.. what.. why is God against me.” It’s this moment he’s in hysterics and falls against the wall, trying to understand where he went wrong.

     “Flab.. HOW... how.” A hand places to his stomach, “That’s right.. I’ll cut out the rice.. not the sake, no.. it makes you pee.. peeing makes you lose weight. Is this why people laughed at me? Haha, those bastards won’t laugh anymore when I lose a good ten..” It’s a plan to himself really as he turns to Kunihiro and an upright finger, “I want you to lay out my eating plan, I have to lose this weight you’re speaking of-- why didn’t you tell me before, Kunihiro!?” Hands on the smaller boy’s shoulder and Kanesada shakes him just a bit.

     Then.. it dawns on him. Blinking just a bit as he releases the other’s shoulders, “Kun.. Kunihiro?” Wait. Why is he here? “Where did you come from?” Looking around in the room that seems to be flooding, “...W. What is this? Where are we.. W.. Ew, why is my hair .. wet clothes are so uncomfortable what is going on?  Who dropped me in the sludge pit, where are we?”

     This can’t be real. This has to be [Biggie Smalls Voice] All a dream [/Biggie Smalls Voice], in which he blinks. “...Nightmare? Too real... too real.” Looking towards Kunihiro, “Too much nightmare... much worstmare..”

[trashboat]

[settere]

ok but a lot of my friends tell me that i look like beyonce

[settere]

It seems amusing, the entire, collective confusion this man’s actions cause — people look bewildered, some of them attempting to escape (and being stopped by a big man, whom ‘Flavor Flav’ refers to as Big Rick, or sometimes Ene,) some attempting to hide. He sees a boy, dressed in a red jacket (the name paper on his chest reads ‘Somethin’), crouching down suspiciously, then looking around as if to make sure no one saw him. Their gazes lock for a second, awkwardly, before he turns away to answer his apparent companion.

”If it is, I have no idea what could possibly be celebrated like that, ew," the man is ugly, after all, and Oikawa’s pretty face isn’t getting anywhere close to his old, wrinkly self. That’s disgusting. “Well, duh. Although I’d question the beauty of some people who happened to get a name —” and he looks at the boy in the red jacket again, currently touching up on his butt as if he’s trying to hold something there. What a weirdo.

He notices the sword attached to the man’s side, as well as his traditional clothing — but it is a cruise, and maybe he’s a performer? Oikawa doesn’t even bother questioning it; rather, he reaches to stay the man’s hand, as even if that thing is a prop, it’s better not to take it out. There’s a grandma sitting near them, staring intently at a biscuit — what if he accidentally cuts or hits her? 

”It’s not my name, either. I’m Oikawa Tooru,” and he raises his hand, offering ‘Red Oyster’ a peace sign. “And I’m definitely not doing this. Come on, we need to find a way to escape before that big guy gets us,” he’s pretty sure he’s seen Kuroo somewhere around, but where did he go? At any rate, Oikawa doesn’t plan on sticking around — instead, he ducks into the crowd, expecting the other to follow. But —

”Huh —?”

On the center of the deck stands a cage with a really, really angry rooster in it. The man named Rick crouches by it, as if threatening to open the door.

”This beast can eat a man’s entire leg in one swallow. Whoever survives this assault… gets a date with Flavor Flav!”

And he opens the cage. Great.

[kanesexy]

     The wandering eyes that continue to fall on the male who's body wore a familiar red jersey, perhaps isn't the same since the designs were different but if Kanesada didn't know any better, he would have mistaken the person for someone else. Black hair is a given but alas his height did not fit nor did he try to come and bombard the tachi. So it's strange to see someone who almost fits the description of his assistant.

     "Ew.. is right." He flinches as he looks back at the man who seems to be having a sloppy make out-- is that? The sword has no idea what it is the round object around the male's neck, but the troll is placing his lips upon the item. He must be very happy about it. This really bothers him just a bit so he diverts his attention back to the male before him as he gives a sigh. Kanesada raises a hand to move them through black locks showing how distressed he is.

     To have so much hair on one being, it's almost as if his hair sparkles in the sun? Is he a Vampire? Jk lol.

     "I've seen women chosen by royalty to be someone's wife, but this monstrosity looks like no king but.. a .. villager. I overheard this phrase from someone, I believe this man to be the fungus that feeds on the pond scum. No, lower. The pus that infects the mucous... that cruds up the fungus... that feeds on the pond scum." He states this knowing majority of what he's saying, all in all, it's an insult and he likes it.

     A few people nearby seem to be making faces, as if they've seen or smelled something they don't like. Looking around, there's something that's bothering the people within the crowd, how it breaks apart and Flava Flav is curious as to what's going on. Or perhaps, it's the cage that takes their interest. "Oikawa Tooru," Kanesada speaks his name to have it adjusted to his tongue, it's nothing like the simple old days but he's sure to remember it, "Removing ourselves from such a place is ideal, I have better things to do than deal with this." The peace sign is known to him, Naki always made little hand gestures and the other swords seem to like doing such hand signs like this.

     It's a blessing he can understand such a few things whilst being taken away from a time of nothing but countless war.      Then again, this whole celebration is War. That man, Flava Flav, he is the Mighty Big One.

     Following after Oikawa's steps, he makes sure to halt his movement when the other stops, concerned as to what's going on and caught his attention. The tachi leans back up, his gaze targeting towards the people who are screaming about their shoes and others who are laughing at what resides in the cage but once the animal was freed, even Kanesada believes he'll fall into a pit of laughter. "Survive poultry? A.. Ahaha." What the hell is this joke, "Is this a joke? Haha, an animal like that can't attack anyone and remove the skin from common human's le--"

     But is Kanesada wrong as he watches in horror the chicken flap it's wings wildly towards the male who wore the red jersey, the chicken pulling at his pants leg enough to rip a hole in it. The raven falls as if he's yelling for his life, a 'squelsh' sound is heard as the man pushes himself back by sliding on his butt, the attire becomes soggy at the bottom and a lump appears as if something is weighing his pants down and tighty whities that were to be exposed are darker, feces excreting from the side of his underwear.

     Kanesada believes, he really believes, he's going to be sick. "I.." His eyes watch as the chicken begins to peck through the hole of the man's pants, the orange of it's mouth becoming red as it begins to rip off white skin from the hole it's made. A scream coming from the male who's suffering, a loud BRRRRRNNNN coming from him and more of his.. secretions begin to leak out.

     A hand on Kanesada's chest.

     Flava Flav opens his eyes and then points to what's going on, it's not even the chicken he's worrying about.

     "..Did. Did this man just shit on my man Kyoya Gaen's yacht like that?" Whoever he's asking, he seems so concerned. "Boi.. gee. Rick. Rick who let this man get past security, My man Gaen slippin."

[kanesexy]

[text] Your body looks like a piece of fart.

To: Horikuni!!From: Kanesada

[txt.] w                   w jat[txt.] ????2/2/3?? -=-=0981836^^^[txt.] WH A                   tt[txt.] 00000000000000000000000000[txt.] (:ᘌꇤ⁐ꃳ 三

He doesn't understand, who did this, why does it do this.. so confusing. He's pretty sure Horikuni plugged thsi information like his name and stuff in here, what is this. Pushes the device away. Not today Satan.

[unmeme]

SUXT MEME DOS.

[text] I want to see you nuked. [text] are u talking to me [text] You have lonely tits. [text] I want to sedate you. [text] I walked off thinking of you. [text] Kick me until I gnome. [text] I want my hands in your pints. [text] Your body looks like a piece of fart. [text] You’re so petty. [text] Slip a ginger in whilst you lick me. [text] Name Five Things That Aren’t Kill La Kill. [text] I peed your clock inside me. [text] Pimp me fool of hot jazz. [text] My aunt is baking for you. [text] Imagine me massaging your bowls as you educate. [text] Let’s give each other plesiosaurs. [text] I want to explore your body with my mother.

[m4kn2]

[settere]

ok but a lot of my friends tell me that i look like beyonce

It’s a day like every other, at least on the cruise — he’s currently chilling on the deck, enjoying the breeze and staying, comfortably, somewhere among the crowds. It’s only when someone starts causing a ruckus does he turn — and what he sees is… well. A middle-aged, black man, in a very eccentric clothing, followed by his bodyguard (who, in other news, must be at least 7 feet tall.) He’s screaming something, clearly causing an uproar — when Oikawa gets a little closer to listen to his words, all that comes out of his mouth is:

”FLAVOR FLAAAAAAAAAAAAV!”

Strange enough, but he supposes it’s not as odd — considering how rich the guy seems to be, his eccentricity is mostly understandable. Oikawa has met a lot of weirdos in the business already; what’s one more? Still, the guy seems to be running around now, randomly choosing people and pinning small etiquettes to their chests. Soon enough, he turns towards Oikawa, too, who, in his shock, doesn’t move fast enough to run. As the man reaches for him, a piece of paper is stuck to his shirt — when he looks down, ‘Hottie’ is written on it.

”That’s gonna be my nickname for ya, cause I don’t remember people’s names!” The guy proclaims, turning towards a tall man with long hair and placing a ‘Red Oyster’ label on his clothing. Soon afterwards, he runs towards the highest point of the deck, spreading his arms in an annoucement:

”Congrats, yo! You’ve all been chosen to be a part of this year’s edition of ‘Flavor of Love’! I’m FLAVOR FLAAAAAAV and you’re all gonna be competing for my heart!”

Confused, he turns towards the guy labeled as ‘Red Oyster’, noticing that he looks positively tired.

”Do you know what’s going on? Who’s this weirdo?”

[kanesexy]

     Lord. Is he having a hard time? Perhaps. As some young, older-aged, lacking any handsome aspects male is running around sticking notes on each and every person. Izumi no Kami Kanesada knows that he's a beautiful man, some people just aren't lucky to gain such looks like him so when the man believes he can place his hands on Kanesada for this ... slip of paper and get a feel up on his chest. Can he get a restraining order for this man, please?

     Even the name was pathetic, 'Red Oyster', is it because of the color that he wore? Sapphire gaze falls onto the various attendants, a young girl with a red scarf has a name that's 'Sweetie' and a young man beside her is deemed 'Hoopz'. What ridiculous names, as it goes on, a man with black hair who seems to be eyeing the brunette that has decided to come towards him, the name patched on the raven is 'Serious'. These names, honestly, what is this?

     To be truthful, Kanesada is tired but he does have to make himself appear like he's someone before people because he is-- no matter what. As tired as he is, that doesn't leave his features that much since he already seems to be tired with this ordeal already.

     "Is this some sort of celebration?" He asks to both him and the male who inquires the same answers, "Apparently we're competing for his heart--" The way he says this as if it's slightly disgusting, the man-- no this troll is ugly, his stress lines are showing, his shades, his hat, lord, take him away. "He must have found many of us quite attractive if he's going this far to find someone for this." Which Kanesada doesn't blame him, he is a good looking man. If this is a celebration, he wants no part of it and it already seems like the person labeled 'Pumkin' is close to just leaving on the spot.

     A hand placed upon his side and the other rests upon the sword, "Do we have to do this, I mean.." He points to his name tag, "This isn't even my name." He's a refined sword, at least give him his accurate name? He needs guidance, he is a semi-young-old sword.

[certofiel-blog]

Why you have to be so rude Shofu, I'm a buy your trading cards and use em to wipe my ass. LMFAO

　When Horikawa wakes up to another morning on the yacht, it’s to the best news he could possibly receive. - Or, well, perhaps aside from… equal to, the arrival of his new spouse? Unfortunately the wakizashi’s priorities do have a certain order to them that has been consistent for a much longer period of time than that he’s spent in Iunctum (or rather, on this yacht,) so far.

　It’s a given that despite Jijii’s best intentions he had never found Izumi no Kami Kanesada on the boat thus far. How can you find someone who isn’t even present after all? So it’s for that reason that he had employed every method he could, having been without a master for some time, in order to locate him. Who knows what kind of trouble the younger tachi could get into without his most trusted assistant! On this morning, it’s the day that Horikawa finally learns that Kanesan has arrived, as well as the room that he is currently staying in of course. In fact those who notified him had also been kind enough to attach a key - how considerate of them!

　Of course he just has to go and greet his partner right away with this news having been learned by now. Leaving his own now shared room on the boat, it doesn’t take long for Horikawa to find where Kanesan will be staying for the time being and he skips the process of knocking. Being the one who would normally wake the tachi up, he doesn’t think it would be very constructive to stand outside the door for however long it takes for such a thing to happen on his own. The cabin, being not unlike his own, is easy to navigate.

　The first order of business: open all of the blinds. The sun is only just beginning to rise, but still the act brightens the room significantly, making it really seem like morning. Refreshing, right?! With that out of the way he takes a firm grip on the blankets and sheets that are currently covering the sleeping lump that is ASSUMEDLY Kanesada. There’s hardly a moment of hesitation before he pulls the covers away with the kind of enthusiasm that only somebody who’s been awake longer than an hour could have.

　”Good morning, Kanesan!”

[kanesexy]

     Sleeping nice and soundly, the tachi doesn't know why he feels so comfortable but he takes it and doesn't even think twice. He could dream sweet dreams or beautiful nightmares but whatever one couldn't really disrupt him from the time that he was having. When was the last time he had such a good sleep? It's been about 152 years and it's not like he's complained, okay, he has. But who could blame him? A deep breath and he turns in his sleep, a hand gripping the pillow and flipping it over on the other side since he's cool like that.

     It's much colder on that side and he decides to keep it there but what throws him off guard is that in his sleep, it seems like sun rays are going through his eyelids? But that can't be. Who. WHO. Would ruin him from his sleep like this? Who would play these games? Who's favorite console was he to? A smack of his lips as he thinks he's just seeing things in his dreams, wasn't this some sort of omen that Kasen would say in his poetic verses? He doesn't really care but the male is entwined in his covers.

     Now when they're pulled, he rolls because he's allowing the covers to be taken from under him and the one way to warmth is to burrito which is now coming undone. A few more rolls and in the end, a good morning response is nothing but a loud thump on the floor by Kanesada who's came into contact with it. A loud groan falls from his lips as he slowly opens his eyes but he's drowsy, he has yet to thaw out so he takes this as a time to just sleep where he is, but the floor feels so wet, it's so disgusting.

     He isn't vocal yet but he hates the feeling of being wet when wearing clothes, so he looks for something to remedy this. His hair.. his beautiful hair. Sacrifices... they must be made. Not realizing there's someone in his room, he lays on his thick hair which could probably save someone from the Russian winters and tries to just sleep on that. His poor hair, lord, please give him a nice perm when he wakes up.

     He's tired.