cw the belittling of God and religion, based off taylor swift’s false god 18+
Ryujin’s breaths are steady as Lia stares at her in the dark of night, unable to sleep. Lia was never able to sleep, her mind forbade her to, she was always awake, only letting her eyes rest after losing the war in her head, allowing her fall into temporary death for the next 7 hours or so.
But today, there is no war.
There is Ryujin, eyes shut, body bare of any clothes, her hand draped around Lia’s waist, legs tangled together, her skin sticky from the past 3 hours they had spent together, from the bathtub, to the bed— not once did their hands leave each other- and even in Ryujin’s temporary death, her hands still found Lia’s body, worshipping it— even in her death.
Lia isn’t supposed to be here, her room is with Yuna, across the vast hall of Grand Hyatt Jeju, she’s supposed to be there, resting til the time came for them to work once more.
Chaeryeong is supposed to be in the room, but as soon as she saw Ryujin and Lia fall into the room, she quickly upped and left, presumably to find some other place, away from the noises and prayers the two would be making that night.
Lia thanks Chaeryeong under her breath, making a note to give the girl a gift of sorts— as she does with the managers, with Yuna, and Yeji.
A gift, for their silence.
In loquacity, Lia and Ryujin are not allowed to room together.
Los Angeles was a big city. Big enough that they could stand tall in between buildings and bodies, and not have a soul know who they were.
It was unromantic- in comparison to Paris, it’s not as grand— in comparison to New York.
But this is where it happens for the first time.
“Ji,” Ryujin calls, a name reserved for only when it was just them two.
“Huh?” Lia replies, looking away from the souvenirs she had been eyeing, no longer talking to the camera they were told to bring everywhere they went, choosing instead to look to Ryujin, who had an unreadable look on her face, the older arching an eyebrow at the odd way she was acting.
“Turn off the camera,” Ryujin says, and Lia listens- because she always listens.
The sun was setting in West Hollywood, and there was a glimmer of gold encapsulating them both. Though the store smelled of the boys’ locker room, Ryujin did not.
And Ryujin was overwhelming.
Her scent, her lips, her eyes, her stare.
Lia sometimes does not know how she held back all these years.
Lia has never been a devout believer in anything, but now, seeing dark blue hair shine in golden light— dark brown eyes turning light in Apollo’s gaze— with all her heart, she believes.
She has never heard a more perfect name.
If Ryujin was the God of the Sea, then what else would Jisu be— if not the ocean?
“Ji— I—” Ryujin stutters as Lia unbuttons her jeans, her bruised lips and flushed skin pressed against Ryujin’s neck, devouring, worshipping, every expanse of skin Lia could get to.
“Do you want me to stop?” Lia asks, breathless as she pulls away slightly, only looking at Ryujin’s expression from the corner of her eye, in fear that if she pulled too far, Ryujin would be gone.
“No! I just- I’ve never done this before,” Ryujin says, looking away from Lia in shame. The almighty Shin Ryujin, faced red with embarrassment, Lia can only find it adorable as her lips upturn into a smile, her hands shifting to rest on the base of her neck.
“It’s okay,” Lia says, slowly unbuttoning Ryujin’s shirt, marvelling at the muscles that tensed under her touch, the skin that shivered under her warmth.
Who daresay they defeated a God?
Pinned a deity to the ground, tied their limbs to the ends of the bed, stripped them of their modesty, destroyed the flickers of their divinity, devoured them of all purity.
Had a God beg for your mercy.
“I will teach you everything,”
“I will give you everything,”
Their manager walks in on them.
That does not stop their lessons.
They were scolded, told to keep it down, to keep it professional, to never get caught.
They don’t even try to hide it from Yeji.
Ryujin gets the room alone, and it becomes their holy site.
The bed has been flooded with holy water, over and over, Lia lets Yuna do whatever she wants with their room— she’s barely there anyways. Too busy, too pious to stay even seconds away from her subject of devotion.
They begin to get scared when the cameras are near, perhaps their sins will be caught, or they be forced to confess. The fear is constant, but the pleasure is eternal.
“Well there isn’t really a difference, we all still treat each other the same, it’s just that you two- uhhh— get intimate— from time to time,” is what Yeji says when they bring up their concerns, the other three agreeing, Chaeryeong nagging them to not get too cozy in public, to which Yuna agrees, adding to not get too cozy in front of her as well.
They laugh at Yuna’s words, and they laugh through the night, and by the time the other three retreat to their rooms, Ryujin has her hand resting on Lia’s inner thigh, her breath hitting the back of her ear as they lounge around in the living room, basking in the comfort of each other, and the comfort given to them by their friends.
“Ji,” Ryujin slurs, and it almost feels like sin, the way she says it.
But she is God, and nothing from her was sin.
Lia knows this— her answer, she’s known it since that very day in L.A. But she wants to have fun, she still has the desire to conquer, the desire to play with her God’s heart.
She pulls Ryujin’s hand closer to her center, pressing the pads of her fingers against her clothed core, smiling as she leaned into Ryujin’s ear, whispering the deadliest sin into her ear.
Lia has never read a holy book to completion before- but she swears there should be pages upon chapters about this.
Even without the name Shin etched into her birth, Lia has never felt more divine than this.
That night, she becomes Ryujin’s supreme. Her hips become Ryujin’s altar, and the younger can never stop offering to her one supreme.
“Good girl,” Lia says in between her hitched breaths, trying to be quiet, but the choir is on a roll today, calling upon the heavens with each thrust of Ryujin’s fingers, each swipe of her tongue, was another page in their holy book, another song for the masses to sing.
Ryujin is gripping on the bones of Lia’s hips, making sure to bruise them, to mark every part of Lia’s body. God’s word, written on every expanse of Lia’s skin, every inch of her body, tainted with Ryujin’s desperation and amendments.
“Ryujin!” She’s screaming now, arching her back into Ryujin’s lips, eyes rolling into the back of her head, gripping the back of Ryujin’s head— her holy grail, her religion embedded into Ryujin, her heaven lying within her.
“I love you,” Lia says, barely audible- but in this holy site, there is only her and Ryujin.
And Ryujin always listens.
“How do I hold your hand forever?” Ryujin asks as they stroll Jeju’s crystal clear beaches, her hand in Lia’s, miles away from the others, who were fast asleep in their rooms.
Ryujin knew Lia was awake.
She knows Lia never sleeps when everyone else does.
She knows Lia in the dark.
She knows her now, in the glow of the moonlight, in between the waves and the sand.
She will know her later, when they pretend to be just friends, when they share glances in the midst of cameras and microphones.
Though Lia has never been a devout believer in anything, Ryujin has.
She believes in Lia, in every word she says, in every promise she makes, she believes.
Ryujin believes in the way she fits perfectly into every part of Lia, her fingers, her mouth, her everything.
“You already are,” Lia replies, the softest of smiles on her lips. Ryujin cocks and eyebrow, she said it as a passing comment, she had expected no reply- even less a solution.
“You are always holding me— you have a hold on me, like no one ever,”
“You are my heaven- on earth and in death,”
Ryujin pauses, but she slowly moves her hand to gently cup Lia’s face, her thumb tracing the expanse of her jaw, the crashing of waves nearly one with their breathing.
“I could never- imagine a heaven— without it’s angel,”
Sometimes they cannot tell, if it is love, or obsession.
“You’re obsessed with her,” Yeji says to Ryujin one day, she was joking, though she knew it was partially true- she’d seen the way they behaved when they thought no one was looking. They were maddeningly obsessed with each other, crazy in love, perhaps they related more to their songs than they would like to admit.
For all they knew, those words were synonymous, four syllables made to be an ode to their love.
To them, and to the people around them, their love is obsession.
But between Ryujin and Lia, in the darkness of the night, in the heaven with just two, behind the locked doors and the four walls of their love—
