the descent.

a little darkness Kara Lansing. XXIII. Dark Air. Hobbies include broom racing, sarcastic conversations, failing at subtlety and drinking coffee until I can hardly stand. Harm the ones I love and you'll answer to me. "to be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting." "what a wicked game to play. to make me feel this way. what a wicked thing to do. to make me dream of you..." never hurt nobody

[karathelastairbender]

laurenlansing:

Lauren could feel Kara looking at her, but she kept her gaze on her sister’s hair and tried to not show any facial expression at all as she did so. She was a little annoyed that Kara kept guessing things that were kind of right, all except the last bit that made her jaw drop as she finally looked back at her. “Alright, jerk, that’s totally none of your business.” The next thing to come out of Lauren’s mouth was absolutely, one hundred percent her sister’s fault. If Kara hadn’t put the thought into her head and made her keep thinking about it (and if it wasn’t true) then she wouldn’t have said it. “And I really don’t care that he’s a virgin ‘cause it’s not a big deal to me and it’s not like I love him any–” Her eyes widened when she realized what she said and she covered her mouth with her hand. She then covered her face with her hands to avoid looking at her sister. “Please don’t throw up.” That seemed like the safest thing she could manage to say.

“I mean, you’re right. But I still will plan on being a butt when it comes to that boy and his clear lack of sexual prowess. Which is fine. Because you’re my baby sister and that’s just... No touchy.” Kara decided to stay quiet after that because her sister seemed to want to talk again but as soon as Lauren began to talk, green eyes widened to that of saucers. “Did you just.... Oh Jesus, so I was right. Well, luckily for you, I won’t throw up. I’m just confused as to how you seem to have just said that out loud for the first time and it was to, you know, me. Not your boyfriend.”

[karathelastairbender]

cris-mendez:

Cristina leaned backward so that she was looking up at Kara. She could feel her head starting to go foggy. What did that mean? Was she broken? She was probably broken. Oh. No. Wait. There was life to worry about. “What if that freshman comes back?” Cristina asked in a small voice, but not really moving from her position. She could protest, but this simultaneously felt the best and the most frightening. “I, uhm… I’d really, really like to be happy together too.” Did that help? She had to know if that would help.

“Trust me--That freshman isn’t coming back any time soon.” Kara smirked, fingers tracing Cristina’s jaw slowly. “You make me happy, Cris. Happier than I ever thought I could be with everything that’s kind of.. Gone wrong, lately. And I’m tired of hiding us in the safety of our apartments. I want people to know that we’re dating and that I’m proud to be your girlfriend. I want them to know that you’re my girlfriend. But if this... If me doing this and wanting to kiss you right here, right now, makes you uncomfortable... Let me know.”

[karathelastairbender]

laurenlansing:

“Don’t kid yourself. It’s mushy and you know it.” Lauren only paused briefly when her hands were swatted before continuing what she was doing. She didn’t even notice the look Kara was giving her until she spoke, which snapped her out of her hair-braiding distraction. She looked down and met her sister’s gaze, suddenly very worried about whatever she was going to say. There was a part of her that knew what it was, but the part that didn’t want to admit that overpowered it and her brow furrowed. “Say what?” she asked, returning to her previous distraction of playing with Kara’s hair.

“Don’t make me say it,” She grimaced, not feeling the need to even remotely let those words leave her mouth. But then she saw Lauren’s creased brow, the way she was still distracting herself by braiding her hair. Kara decided then and there to put her grievances against Lauren’s boyfriend aside and to focus on her baby sister. “I’m not going to say it out loud because I can’t stomach myself saying it... But... You feel the way about him, the way I do with Cris. Don’t you? And by the way you won’t say anything to me now, I’m guessing you haven’t told him. Which can only mean one thing; you two clearly haven’t slept together yet. Because we both know that you probably still won’t feel the same way about him once you get together with mr. forty year old virgin over there.” Kara smirked, chuckling to herself.

[karathelastairbender]

cris-mendez:

Cristina felt her breath catch. It was romantic, but so very dark. Ignore it? How was she supposed to ignore that kind of warning language. Nowhere in her research had she encountered anything about this wort of topic. The dark was not a path to go down for a reason. Sitting up straighter, she put her hand on Kara’s knee delicately and said, “I don’t know if people deserve anything from life itself. Perhaps if they work hard and are overlooked, that’s on society or industry, but… I want you to feel as loved as you make me feel. I know it’s hard for me to believe that you care so much. I’m not going anywhere. The hunters are gone, Abigail seems to have taken her leave. Perhaps we can be happy together.”

Looking down at the hand on her knee, Kara let her eyes close for a moment, feeling her girlfriend’s mere presence calm her. As soon as she began to talk, Kara opened her eyes smiling at her with all the love and care that she possibly could. Thankfully they weren’t smack dab in the middle of the quad, thankfully everyone seemed to be heading towards the dining hall for dinner and thankfully, it was dark enough for Kara to feel confident enough to do this. And by this, Kara meant straddling her girlfriend’s lap and cupping her cheek. “I’m more than okay with being happy together. Especially if it means being closer to you.” She whispered, brushing their noses together for a moment. Jesus, please let this moment of impulse be a good one. Cristina was either going to knock her off or kiss her. ...Please be the latter.

[karathelastairbender]

morgan-drake:

Morgan was fortunate not to have shitty parents. She couldn’t imagine have a mother as terrible as Kara’s. How did Tess refrain from using some of her psionic mojo on that woman? “Kara… I’m going to let you in on a little secret. Everyone has darkness in them. Everyone. Whatever light witch bullshit your mother fed you when you were younger is just that – light witch bullshit. Light witches can pretend all they want but they’re just as capable of doing terrible things as us – for example, your mom treating you like complete garbage when she’s supposed to be a fucking parent. And I’m sorry that’s how she treated you. But you know what? Parents who treat their kids like that should never have kids in the first place. And it has nothing to do with you at all. That’s all them. It’s completely your win that they’re done with you, and it’s their loss. They’re just fucking idiots for having that high pedestal of theirs shoved so far up their asses that they can’t see the world isn’t so goddamn black and white. There’s nothing in you to destroy. That’s ridiculous.”

Morgan had a point, her mother was full of shit... Just like the fucked up light preacher that had possessed her. "I know that you're right on a lot of things, that my mother is a piece of shit. That what they've said and done to me, making me think that I was going to grow up to be a monster is a bunch of bullshit. But there is one thing... One thing that you'll never be able to convince me of. That on some level, they're right." Kara bit the inside of her cheek, taking a shallow breath as she tried to avoid Morgan's gaze. "When Tess saw inside my mind, she said she saw a lot of darkness in it. And I get that everyone has darkness in them, trust me.. I do. But I feel like, and I need you to listen to me and know that this is me and my own experiences talking--Not my mother... I feel like I'm seconds from traveling down a path that.. Is as easy to go down as it is to put on a warm sweater.” Making sure no one was near them, Kara lowered her voice anyway, not really wanting the rest of the student body to know this. “I dream about taking the air out of his lungs, Morgan. I dream about him dying and me standing over his body and watching his eyes dim. The first time I killed a hunter, it was as self defense, I know that. The second time I did it because I wanted him to suffer. To feel as much pain as I did. And that's not something my parents made me believe I could be. That's all me... That's always been on me."

[karathelastairbender]

laurenlansing:

Lauren opened her mouth to respond when Kara put her head in her lap and she just smiled. “Doof,” she remarked, rolling her eyes at her sister. “You’re gonna ask me that and tell me not to get mushy? That’s the mushiest question I’ve ever heard.” She brought her hands to her sister’s hair and started to braid a small section of it. “I don’t know. It says a lot of things, it’s hard to keep up.” She paused, running her fingers through the braided section so it fell back into place among the rest. “But he’s different, too.”

“It’s a simple request, little sis.” Kara joked before grumpily swatting at Lauren for a moment whens he began to braid her hair before just letting it happen. Whenever her mother had braided her hair, she’d always wanted something in return but with Lauren it was always different. She never felt like she had to be something else or do something to prove her worth to be okay in Lauren’s eyes. Squinting, she looked up at Lauren and bit her lip. She watched her sister’s face for a moment, shocked to see that look in her eyes. “Oh my God. You... It’s more than just simple feelings with him. You... Don’t make me say it...”

[karathelastairbender]

cris-mendez:

“It sounded as serious as a proposal,” Cristina put in, wanting very much to be right even if it wasn’t helpful. She tried to track where Kara’s hand was going out of the corner of her eye, and it seemed to take an eternity. But in the end it was okay. The worst part of her had imagined something like I love you, but something’s wrong or Maybe this isn’t perfect, but you’re cute so… can we still hook up. These were not good thoughts, or even fair to Kara, but she could not help but worry all the same. It did scare her to think of her amazing, strong girlfriend dying before much had even gotten to happen. “Please, you’re in incredible shape, and you have dreams that you have to achieve. Anyway, 103 together is not terrifically unrealistic. We could get there thanks to advances in modern science and support.”

“Maybe someday.” Kara smiled shyly before shaking her head at her girlfriend, grabbing her hand and pressing a kiss to her knuckles. “It’s not about being in shape or goals that I want to achieve. It’s because I just... I felt like I wasn’t going to live long because of this path I’m going down. This... Destiny that I’m trying to fight. Whether its darkness or... something else entirely. I just feel like I’m headed to my death, and not in the sense that everyone does. Where we live a full life. I don’t know... Just ignore it. Because, like I said... When I’m with you... Especially lately, I haven’t felt like I’m going to be heading down that path. I feel like maybe... Maybe I deserve more than what I’ve been given. Maybe what I deserve isn’t pain or people leaving.. Maybe I deserve being loved by the very person that I don’t think I can ever stand to lose.”

[karathelastairbender]

morgan-drake:

Morgan smiled sadly. No amount of therapy was going to ease the pain of losing Tess, but she wouldn’t let her friend become some distant memory either. “I’m quite cute and corny when I’m in an commitment. The two of you would be teasing me endlessly, I already see it,” she chuckled. She pat Kara’s hand and nodded. “And she was absolutely right about that,” she agreed. She considered a lot of people at RIAP her family. And she was happy to hear Kara was beginning to consider her family too. She sighed at Kara’s next statement. “Kara…” She put both of her hands on the girl’s shoulders and lightly shook her. “There’s no ancient prophecy saying you’re destined to become a monster hellbent on killing everyone around you. No one can make you be who you are. That choice is entirely up to you. And if you don’t want to become a comic book supervillain, then don’t become a comic book supervillain. And if you do, then go for it. But when it comes down to it, what you become is your choice and your choice alone. Everyone has good and bad in them. Everyone has done something bad. Good people do bad things sometimes. That doesn’t make them bad. And you don’t strike me as someone who’s out to get the world or hurt people who don’t deserve to be hurt. So in my professional opinion whatever you say you’re fighting doesn’t exist. But again, I can’t make you do a damn thing. That’s entirely up to you.”

Okay, Kara wasn't ready for Morgan to go all Tess on her but she should have expected it sooner or later. When Morgan's hands were placed on her shoulders, Kara felt like she deserved to give the other woman eye contact, even though the mere idea was nerve-wracking for her. She smiled sadly when she was told that there was no ancient prophecy, knowing what her mother had told her when she was younger. She'd thought it was a fairy-tale but as she got older, she assumed that her mother had meant it, or at least... Part of it. "When I was younger... My mom used to tell me that there was a darkness when I was born. She wanted to save me from it so she destroyed the darkness so it wouldn't ruin me. But the older I get, the more I think... Maybe she never did destroy it. Maybe its been here the whole time... Maybe that darkness has been inside of me this whole time. I--My parents know I've killed someone. Lauren doesn't know I told them but they're my.. My parents. I wanted to see if maybe they would be there for me, to tell me that everything would be okay. But my mom told me to leave the house and never come back." Kara looked down, swallowing thickly. She knew she could trust Morgan with this but it was still hard to talk about. "She said she wished I'd never been born. And then she kept saying she must have chosen wrong. I don't know what that's about but.. It's done. They're done with me. Forever."

[karathelastairbender]

morgan-drake:

Morgan laughed at the insult. “Comic book convention nerds everywhere would love to have a piece of this, I’ll have you know. I’m just not ready to commit,” she joked. Her smile softened at Kara’s question. “The whole destruction of hunters worldwide helped a lot. I actually have time to focus on my shit now. Some days are harder than others but for the most part yeah, I’m okay. Not great, not horrible, just okay. How about you?”

“Go get ‘em, Tiger. And oh puh-lease. You could handle it, in fact, I think I’d love to see you in the whole commitment phase. If only Tess were here, we’d both be giving you hell.” Kara bit her lip, it was still hard to talk about Tess but she couldn’t just keep avoiding the topic of her. When Morgan admitted that she seemed to be still having a hard time, Kara reached a hand out and placed it on Morgan’s arm. “If you ever need to talk.. I know I’m not your family but--Tess taught me that family is more than just blood.” She smiled sincerely, giving the girl a squeeze before pulling her hand away. “I’m doing better. Still fighting what feels like my destiny but... You know, I’ve always been stubborn. I can manage.”

[karathelastairbender]

morgan-drake:

“I was thinking more dank memes and John Williams compositions but you were close,” she joked. “Now here I am. Once again. I’m torn into pieces. Can’t deny it, can’t pretend.” 

“Jesus, it’s no wonder you’re single.” She shot back before resting her chin in her hand. “But really... Are you doing okay? Now that the hunters are gone... Now that you can... Breathe a bit easier?”

[karathelastairbender]

laurenlansing:

“I don’t know why you never think I’m right,” Lauren said with a sigh. “When have I ever been wrong about something like this? Actually, don’t answer that. Also, I think you should trust me more than the universe.” She was not having any of this backtracking Kara thought she could do. The only place to go was up. “Why do you always change the subject? I like talking about you. But, yeah, I’m happy. With my idiot. Even though I feel like there are also some universe factors trying to prove me wrong here, too.”

“Hey, no... I do think you’re right about a lot of things. Just, maybe not--About this. I hope that it can be that way. I do. Promise.” Kara shrugged, choosing in turn to lay her head on her sister’s lap. Sweet, sweet justice. “Because I’m the oldest and what I say goes, punk. Some universal factors eh? Well... What does your heart say? And please... Don’t get too mushy, I don’t think you want me to puke on your lap.”

[karathelastairbender]

cris-mendez:

“I didn’t say that you weren’t great at school. You don’t get as much satisfaction out of studying as I do. But you’re brilliant. You know that, right?” Oh, god, this was going dark fast. Cristina’s stomach felt like it was sinking, which was not at all good when she wanted to fill it with smoothie. Reasonably certain that she was actually on the verge with brain freeze, she looked up at Kara and tried to rationalize what she had just heard. That was… positively committal. It had only really been six months. Even if Cristina liked to imagine a future, she was rather worried that ghosts or potions were at work here. “Are you… sure?” Her voice broke somewhere in the middle of that, imagining how gross she was going to feel after everything went back to square one.

“Cris.. I’m not about to.. Propose to you or anything of the sort so don’t freak out on me. But... I am very sure that I can’t--” Kara stopped herself, moving a bit closer to her girlfriend, her right hand coming up to cup at Cristina’s cheek gently as the pad of her thumb moved slowly against the apple of her cheek. “I am the best version of myself when I’m with you. And when I look at you... I don’t see just another person I’ve dated. I look at you and I see something I never thought I could have. I kind of um... And this is going to sound really morbid but just.. I always thought I’d die young. Like I never felt that I was going to live past my twenties. But then I met you and... I feel like I could live to 103.” Kara wasn’t good with words by any means but she sure as hell hoped that Cristina understood what she was saying.

[karathelastairbender]

cris-mendez:

“It’ll all be worth it when you join the workforce. I know you’re not as enamored with studying as I am,” Cristina said, letting their gazes meet. Not that she enjoyed it, but she got the idea that it was important to Kara. “Oh. You’re so important to me, as well. I don’t know if I can know what goes on in your mind. You’re right. But I am simply glad to be appreciated at all. I know you don’t like it, but I still find it hard to believe that you think that of me at all.”

“Hey, I used to be. Remember, I did do great with school. But I guess everything changed after I... Chose.” Kara cleared her throat, looking away for a moment before focusing back on Cristina when she began to once more feel that she wasn’t worthy of what Kara felt for her. Her heart broke at that, Kara’s gaze moving from the girl’s eyes to her lips before back up again. “Cristina...” Her hand grabbed loosely onto her girlfriend’s to make sure that she was paying attention, voice soft. “I think I’m going to think that way of you for the rest of my life.”

[karathelastairbender]

morgan-drake:

“You know know what’s behind these hazel eyes,” she said, waving her hand over her actual hazel eyes. “Whoa, I was talking about the hypothetical situation of having a vampire for a girlfriend but if you wanna get into that period sex talk,” she laughed. “That’s your preference and there’s nothing wrong with that.”

“Sadness? Betrayal? Envy? Fear? Have I hit all the nails on the head so far?” Kara looked at Morgan with a smirk, knowing she for sure had. Yeah, she was definitely not about to continue this whole vampire period talk. She’d much rather talk about Morgan.

[karathelastairbender]

laurenlansing:

Lauren hugged Kara even tighter as she continued. “You’ve always been worth all of the love,” she said. As happy as she was to hear Kara say all this, she didn’t know why the words still freaked her out. So she just held her sister and tried to ignore that feeling as she smiled for her sister’s happiness. “I’m so happy you’re happy. All I want is for you to be happy.”

“I know you think that, kiddo. But I don’t think you’re right, and the universe as sure had one hell of a time reminding me of that fact.” Kara shook her head, leaning a bit away from her sister. Just because she felt like she could spend the rest of her life with Cristina, didn’t mean that she’d actually be able to. “Enough about me.. You need to be happy too. And I can’t believe I’m going to say it but that idiot makes you happy.”

[karathelastairbender]

morgan-drake:

Morgan laughed at Kara’s reaction. “The fun thing about being a Grey Jedi is that I get to tap into my dark side sometimes,” she giggled. “So what I’m gathering is being a vampire’s a deal-breaker for you? You didn’t give me a straight answer. Or, non-straight answer in this case.”

“Okay Kelly Clarkson,” Kara responded with a roll of her eyes before grimacing once more. “Ew. Look, as a woman who partakes in the monthly bloodbath, I can assure you I would never want to...” She paused, looking around to make sure that no one was listening before continuing. “Go down on my girlfriend during that time of month.”

[karathelastairbender]

laurenlansing:

The shock on her sister’s face was enough to tell Lauren that this was all kind of new for Kara too. And Kara saying the rest of her life made Lauren feel like maybe there was something changing within her sister, something good and something hopeful. She didn’t think Kara knew how important a statement like that was for her. She reached out and placed her hands on Kara’s, squeezing them lightly and smiling at her. “I’m really happy for you. I want you to know that,” she told her. She then pulled her sister in for a hug. “Are you happy?”

The blush spread across her cheeks as soon as Lauren placed her hands on top of her own, looking up at her sister then. Before she could say anything, Lauren was pulling her into a hug, asking her another question before Kara could even acknowledge what she’d said to her earlier. “I’m in love with her, Laurie. And that both scares me and.. Amazes me. I didn’t think that I could feel what I feel for her... For anyone. I didn’t think I was worth that. So yeah, I am happy.”