i know we're all sick of self-care being a marketing tactic now, but i don't think a lot of us have any other concept of self-care beyond what companies have tried to sell us, so i thought i'd share my favorite self-care hand out
brought to you by how mad i just got at a Target ad
cw/spoiler warnings: characters involved in the reaper & sage questlines are mentioned and/or present. there are 2 character deaths, both of which are described, though not graphically. however, the description may still be uncomfortable for some readers.
Elliot bolted.
Carnage left in his wake.
Though not created by him.
This is the story of how Elliot met Xavery.
Elliot Barton-Tia, better known as Subject 0912 to his Sharlayan scientists, was sitting at his assigned table at his assigned time. He was stolen from his home 5 years prior by Guildivain, a Sharlayan scientist hell-bent on weeding out disabilities. The concrete room had several, small windows aggressively out of reach, metal tables with metal benches attached and a faint whirring sound that never ceased. Elliot sat on one said bench, his rear instantly feeling the cold of the metal through his hospital pants; part of his assigned garb. He placed his plastic cafeteria tray down on the table. The tray was adorned with a paper plate of mashed potatoes, steamed vegetables, an orange and a box of apple juice. Once seated, the young Miqo’te man sighed.
“Hey, Elli–Oh Nine One Two!,” a young female voice called out.
The voice belonged to his friend Amelia, a late-20-something Viera woman with green hair, currently pulled back into a ponytail. Her overall grace, as well as red eyes, were her most obvious and defining features aside from her picturesque smile… and the 2-year-old Viera child hanging in a holster on her front. An almost-30 Viera man with shaggy wine red hair followed close behind.
“Up and at ‘em, again?,” he asked, though with a forced smile. His already-toned biceps tightened in tandem with the corners of his mouth; his inverted triangle birthmark crinkled under his left eye. Kaden, though good-natured and pure of heart, was always the type to jump into action.
“Mhmm.” Elliot knew the question was codified: what he really meant to ask was “What new tests have they conducted on you?” He waited for the pair to sit and blend in with the hundreds of other test subjects also attending their lab-assigned lunch breaks. Once safe, he quickly glanced around the room, then began a series of subtle hand gestures. Elliot rested his left arm on the cold, metal table, skin almost freezing on contact. His right index finger gently tapped his left bicep as he spoke.
“Oh, y’know, just getting stronger. They say I’m doing better than expected.”
The Miqo’te never broke eye contact with the pair as they, and their offspring, ate their mashed potatoes. Amelia and Kaden nodded in sync, smiles plastered to their faces, understanding Elliot’s code; he was telling them “More beastblood injections. However, I’m not succumbing to the injections like most others. They’re going to run more tests.”
“Ooh, interesting!,” Amelia perked up. “What about,” her right index finger touched her right temple, her head now resting on it, “Oh Six Six Six?”.
The head dude, Guildivain? Ha, he’s still examining my brain and not finding anything new, Elliot thought. Biting his tongue, he responded, “Headstrong… Head very strong.” His whole body ached as he began picking at his food, desperately needing nourishment. The Head is very strong. There’s gotta be a way out of here. It’s been 5 fucking years.
“Hey, uh… speaking of which,” he gestured to his right ear while eyeing Kaden’s right. “New jewelry? What, ya getting ready for a night on the town or something?,” he joked.
“Heh, I was hoping you wouldn’t notice, actually,” Kaden chuckled.
“You know I, of all people, would. I’m,” he rubbed an eye to signal “always looking out for you”, “your friend, Kay,” he whispered.
The Viera man smiled. “I know, Ell,” Kaden whispered before continuing at a normal volume, “Thanks for that. But, yeah. They’ve been awesome about accommodating me. Can you believe that I was the lucky winner of the gift of hearing?”
His sarcasm, while appreciated, cut into Elliot and wedged deeper as he spoke. His friend’s pain was his pain. The Miqo’te knew that when Kaden said “lucky winner” he truly meant it; everyone else was likely thrown to slaughter for being disabled. His friend being present meant that he was temporarily given a free pass to live… and be tested on.
The harnessed child let out a small cry. “Oh, sweetie! Here ya go,” Amelia and Kaden said in sync. They giggled before Kaden allowed Amelia to feed the child lab-assigned formula.
“Have you named the little troublemaker yet? It’s been almost two years,” Elliot asked.
“Of course! He’s Oh Six One Two, silly,” Amelia said through a strained smile. She would love to share the name she and Kaden crafted in secret, but was worried word would spread to the Head—Guildivain.
“Ha, right,” Elliot gently hit the butt of his palm against his forehead, “sorry about that! Minor lapse.”
“No worries, friend! However,” her voice grew quiet and grave as she leaned forward slightly. She placed an index finger between her eyebrows before continuing, “they’re still young. Maybe one day red will come more easily to them than me. He thinks colours are a novel prospect right now.”
Code for “my dyslexia is still present but they need me as a control. They also haven’t been able to test on the kid yet since he’s still young,” thought Elliot. “For sure! Right, little dude?”
The child simply stared at the Miqo’te man and laughed.
“I think he likes you,” chuckled Kaden. He was slightly more at ease now, staring at his child in admiration. He sighed. Being stolen from your home was bad enough, but the pair was also forced to procreate. Guildivain saw the pair as an easy way to create a child to test the passing of disabilities–Amelia was dyslexic and Kaden was deaf in his right ear.
“Ya like me, kid? Really? That makes one of us,” Elliot said wryly. The small rabbit-eared child with green hair and inverted triangle birthmark simply laughed again. “Spitting image of their parents. Sorry this is what you were born into. Hopefully you’ll be out soon and be able to forget about all of this.” A sigh left Elliot’s chest, deflating his body.
Amelia giggled. “Would you like to be their godparent? Should anything happen to us, you could take care of them!,” she exclaimed before whispering, “They can take my life, but not his.”
Elliot’s face contorted from concern, to shock and finally to acceptance. “Of course, friend. You okay, with this, Oh Eight Oh Two?,” he asked Kaden.
“If Oh Eight Oh Five is okay with it, then I’m okay with it.” He smiled at his significant other before turning back to Elliot. “We trust you.”
“And I trust you. Hey, when this is all ov—”
RIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNGGGGGGG!!!!!
Elliot’s proposition was cut short by the sound of sirens blaring, alarms ringing and guards shouting.
“Amelia, Kaden! This way!,” Elliot shouted. He had prepared several escape routes should they be blessed with an opportunity for escape. “Whoever pulled that alarm—thank you. You’ve saved all of our lives. Please get out safely.”
The trio, with the child in tow, bolted through the throngs of people—a mass exodus. Elliot and Kaden sandwiched Amelia, protecting the offspring harnessed on her front, as they pushed through bodies barreling towards them. A light was seen at the end of the hallway—Freedom. Once all comrades were accounted for, the rabbit-eared offspring was transferred from mother to father. Kaden then began squatting, preparing for Amelia to ride on his back.
“No, you both need your rest,” Elliot said, assuming Kaden’s position, “and what kind of friend would I be if I didn’t look out for you two?”
The pair turned to each other and nodded. Amelia immediately piggybacked Elliot. It was mid-afternoon; the group set forth as quickly as possible for the nearest settlement.
They traversed through the immediate sparse forest before nightfall, stowing away on a ship destined for Eorzea. For the next couple of weeks, all able bodies worked to move forward, gather, hunt—survive. They focussed on feeding the child, some nights starving themselves due to lack of food. Soon enough, they reached Gridanian soil.
Amelia was holding the child in her arms and poked their nose. “Their name is Xavery.”
Kaden turned to her, surprised. “Yeah. That still works. I like it and I think you like it, too, little dude.” He joined in on tickling and gently poking the child. The couple gazed into each other’s eyes and giggled.
“Y’know… I’m grateful to have you two here with me. Even though you’re in your soiled hospital garb and look like death, you’re still full of love. Thank you,” Elliot said softly.
They turned to the Miqo’te. Amelia responded, “And we feel the same way about you, Elliot. There’s nobody else we’d want to be Xavery’s godfa—”
“AMELIA, DUCK!,” Elliot shouted.
A black mass of fabric, blood and claws lunged for the group…
No. nO. NO. THIS ISN’T HAPPENING.
Elliot’s warnings were too late. A man clad in what appeared to be a black robe made of skin, a pale visage, red eyes and a scythe began gnawing on Amelia. His scythe was cupped under Kaden’s neck, holding him in place
“T–take them. Their name,” choked Amelia as she slid the baby toward Elliot, “is Xavery. Remember him.” Her eyes rolled back into her head and a tear rolled down her left cheek. She left the world with a smile on her face.
“We—ugh—love them. Ta–ke—guh—care, Elliot,” managed Kaden. His head was separated from his body before Elliot’s eyes.
He grabbed the child, shaking and barely able to move. The man stared down Elliot.
“I’m Orcus. Don’t you dare forget it,” the creature taunted.
Elliot bolted.
Carnage left in his wake.
Though not created by him.
“It’s okay, Xavery. I’m here. We’ll be safe together. I love you.”
Xavery is cross with Goldric, yet their paths meet at a crossing.
Xavery walked towards their Miqo’te father who was sitting at the wooden kitchen table.
Elliot Hearthome stood at 5’9” and was of an above-average build. His silver hair aged him, though he was only about 40 years old; whisper-fine strands wisped and swayed as he turned his head to face Xavery. Elliot’s piercing, pale, yellow eyes locked onto his son.
“Yeah, kid? What’s up?,” he asked, lowering his mug and newspaper. It was Sunday morning which meant that Xavery should still be asleep, giving Elliot and his fiancé time to themselves.
At these inquiries, Goldric Orcoeur lifted his nose from his novel. Goldric was a 6’5” Au Ra man with pale yellow scales framing his bronze visage. Though his features were rather aggressive—being as chiseled as they were—and his hair a stark black, pulled into a ponytail, he was the embodiment of the adage “heart of gold”. Goldric smiled gently, barely exposing his sharp canines.
“Need anything, sweetie?,” he added.
Xavery was barely 17 years old and had only met Goldric a couple of years prior; Elliot met him working at a local market’s vendor stall. Their relationship had been rocky, to say the least. However, Goldric always made a point of attending Xavery’s needs.
“I, um…,” they trailed off before sighing, “I saw the rings. Why didn’t you tell me?”
The pair turned to face each other, expressions concerned.
“I’m sorry, kid. We just haven’t figured out a good time, yet,” admitted Elliot.
“We weren’t actively trying to hi–”
“Oh, shut it, dragonkin. Both of you lied to me.”
The Au Ra and Miqo’te man turned to each other once more. Elliot turned to Xavery, defeated.
“I was going to ask you to be my best man and our musician. You’ve been getting a lot better with that flute of yours.”
“I’ve been practicing,” Xavery responded curtly.
“Have you ever considered a string instrument, though? You seem to have a knack for woodwind instruments, but I’m wondering if strings will give you more musical freedom, Xav,” spoke Goldric.
“We don’t have the money for that. Plus it’s not like Elliot would care, anyway. He’s always spending time with you.”
Goldric frowned. For three years he’d tried to win over the watermelon-haired Viera’s heart, but to no avail. The young man was steadfast in his beliefs, firmly rooted in the teachings of his father Elliot. Xavery’s birth parents had been killed when they were only five years old, forcing Elliot to raise them independently. With Goldric present, the previous dynamic that existed between the Miqo’te and Viera was strained.
Goldric sighed. “Xavery, I’m not trying to take your father away from you. In fact I am, and have been, trying to bring us all closer together. I was going to save this for your birthday in a couple of weeks, but,” he stopped short and left the room momentarily. He returned with a plain brown box, adorned with a single green and a single red bow.
“I guess now’s as good a time as any to give this to you.” Goldric towered over Xavery and extended the box to them, eyes pleading.
“Um… thanks…” Xavery situated himself at the head of the kitchen table; he sat between Goldric and Elliot. They shot the Au Ra and Miqo’te a look of skepticism mixed with concern.
“Just open it, kid. You’ll like it, I promise,” urged Elliot.
Xavery nodded and carefully opened the box. Once the lid was removed, they gasped.
“It’s—no way. I’ve been asking for a harp for ages!” They turned to face Goldric while clutching the wooden harp to their chest. “How did you afford this?!”
Goldric chuckled. “I didn’t buy it, Xavery. I actually crafted that myself.” A soft smile crept across his lips.
Xavery was left dumbfounded, his jaw making a home on the floor. For three years, he’d completely disregarded his father’s Au Ra partner. He didn’t even know Goldric had knowledge of woodworking, let alone skill in the craft. Still in awe, Xavery examined their new gift.
The harp was carved from the wood of a Cherry tree; though sanded down, its rich, raw colour was present. A light, warm brown was present throughout, kissed with a translucent red overtone. The strings were crafted from a specialty yarn to ensure elasticity and strength; they sparkled a faint silver. The harp retained its sweet, soft scent, relaxing Xavery. A tear rolled down their right cheek as they began to smile.
“I’m sorry, Goldric,” Xavery whispered. He hugged the instrument and avoided Goldric’s gaze.
Goldric began to choke up. “You’re forgiven, sweetie. Do you like it?”
“I love it”. Their voice was still quiet but they managed to meet Goldric’s equally teary eyes. “I’m sorry I never took the time to learn about you. I’m sorry for being so cross with you. I’m sorry for not letting you in.”
“Sweetie, it’s okay. Our crossroads have finally met—our paths have finally crossed,” Goldric said as he placed a gentle hand on Xavery’s shoulder. “I left it blank so you could custom paint it! Also... will you let me teach you how to play? I’d love you to play it at the wedding.”
“Yeah… of course…,” the young Viera trailed off.
Elliot sniffled, distracting the previously-speaking pair. “Don’t mind me. I’ve got allergies. Yeah.”
Goldric and Xavery side-eyed and smirked at each other, releasing a tandem giggle.
logging the hours: an eorzean botanist's field guide
i've decided to keep the updates page live, while also sharing updates in a single post. the tumblr app is weird and doesn't like separate pages, so this is more accessible if you're using the app.
please note that i'll likely change the name of the project over time! i have a few name ideas in mind & am testing which one i like best.
main page: https://kardions.tumblr.com/log
✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧
updates:
(23/12/22; d/m/y) - started spreadsheet. view the spreadsheet here (opens in a new tab)
(3/1/23) - research on arums, apples & oranges is underway. i’ve learned that oranges are fake & arums belong to a genus of stinky d*ck plants. nature is WILD.
areudirty
theartofmadeline
vaporwave
gummygunk
origamiaround
tangentwithtanner
prguitarman
dededos
