Soulbound Chapter 9
On The Head Of A Pin
Soulbound Masterlist
Sam is driving us back to the motel room after Pamela's funeral. "Ruby will meet us outside Cheyenne. She's been tracking some leads. I know she's not exactly on your Christmas list, but if she can help us get to Lilith—" Dean interrupts him, "Hey, man, work with Ruby, don't. I don't really give a rat's ass." "What's your problem?" Sam asks. "Pamela didn't want anything to do with this and we dragged her back into it, Sam." I interject, my voice slightly hoarse from crying at the funeral. "She knew what was at stake." Sam replies. "Oh yeah. Saving the world. And we're doing such a damn good job of it." I mumble sarcastically. "(Y/N)—" "We're tired of burying friends, Sam." Dean interrupts again. "Look, we catch a fresh trail—" Dean sighs, "And we follow it, I know. Like I said, I'm just—I'm just getting tired." Sam looks at Dean and I, "Well, get angry."
~~~~~~~
"Ah, home crappy home." Dean grumbles as we walk into the motel room. Sam flips on the lights to reveal Uriel and Castiel standing in the room, the ladder's eyes falling on my immediately. Castiel's eyes soften slightly as he looks at me, presumably because I had been very obviously crying.
"Winchester, Winchester, and Singer." Uriel grins. Dean groans, "Oh come on." "You are needed." Uriel says to Dean. "Needed? We just got back from needed!" Dean yells. "Now, you mind your tone with me." Uriel warns. Dean takes a few steps forward, "No, you mind your damn tone with us." Sam follows him, putting his hand out to stop Dean, "We just got back from Pamela's funeral." "Pamela. You know, psychic Pamela? You remember her. Cas, you remember her. You burned her eyes out. Remember that? Good times. Yeah, then she died saving one of your precious seals. So maybe you can stop pushing us around like chess pieces for five freaking minutes!" Dean yells again, making me flinch slightly. Uriel's voice doesn't raise to match Dean's, it stays calm, "We raised you out of hell for our purposes."
"Yeah, what were those again? What exactly did you want from me?" Dean asks. "Start with gratitude." Uriel retorts.
I scoff, crossing my arms over my chest, "Fuck you and your purposes. Can we have a few minutes to grieve!"
"We know this is difficult to understand." Castiel speaks up. "And we—" Uriel turns to look at Castiel, making him look away and stay silent again. My eyebrows furrow as I watch Cas back down. "—don't care. Now, seven angels have been murdered, all of them from our garrison. The last one was killed tonight."
"Demons?" Dean asks, "How they doing it?"
Uriel shakes his head, "We don't know." "I'm sorry, but what do you want us to do about it?" I ask, "I mean, a demon with the juice to ice angels has to be out of our league, right?" "We can handle the demons, thank you very much." Uriel says, a little offended. "Once we find whoever it is." Castiel interjects. "So you need our help hunting a demon?" Dean asks, a bit of a smug look on his face. Cas takes a few steps forward, shoulder to shoulder with Uriel, "Not quite. We have Alastair." "Great. He should be able to name your trigger man." Dean nods. Cas shakes his head, 'But he won't talk. Alastair's will is very strong. We've arrived at an impasse." "Yeah, well, he's like a black belt in torture. I mean, you guys are out of your league." Uriel speaks up, "That's why we've come to his student. You happen to be the most qualified interrogator we've got." Dean looks down as Castiel speaks up again, "Dean, you are our best hope. (Y/N) will be accompanying as well."
I look at him in shock, "What? Why?" Dean looks up, "No. No way. You can't ask me to do this, Cas. Not this. And you're sure as hell not taking (Y/N) too." Uriel walks up to Dean, "Who said anything about asking?"
~~~~~~~~
Through the window of the door, Dean, Cas and I can see inside the room Alastair is trapped in. The demon is chained to a hexacle inside of a Devil's trap. "This devil's trap is old Enochian. He's bound completely." Cas explains as I look over his shoulder. "Fascinating." Dean says sarcastically, turning away from the door and grabbing my arm, dragging me with him. "Where's the door?" "Where are you going?" Castiel says. "Hitch back to Cheyenne, thank you very much." Dean says, pulling me passed Uriel, his hand still on my arm as if I wouldn't follow. I would by the way. Uriel reappears in front of Dean and I, "Angels are dying, boy." "Everybody's dying these days." Dean retorts. "And hey, I get it. You're all-powerful. You can make me do whatever you want. But you can't make me do this. And why the hell is (Y/N) here?" Dean finally lets go of my arm. "Because she is safer here with me than she is with Sam. And this is too much to ask, I know. But we have to ask it." Cas says, walking up to Dean and I. Dean looks at Cas for a moment, then he turns to Uriel, "We want to talk to Cas alone." Uriel nods, but with hesitation, "I think I'll go seek revelation. We might have some further orders." "Well, get some donuts while you're out." I grumble, genuinely a little hungry. Uriel only laughs, "Ah, this one just won't quit, will she? I think I'm starting to like you, Singer." After watching Uriel vanish, Dean says, "You guys don't walk enough. You're gonna get flabby." When Castiel doesn't react Dean continues, "You know, I'm starting to think Junkless has a better sense of humor than you do." Cas tilts his head, "Uriel's the funniest angel in the garrison. Ask anyone."
I scoff out a laugh, as Dean walks up to Castiel, "What's going on, Cas? Since when does Uriel put a leash on you?" "My superiors have begun to question my sympathies." Castiel explains. "Your sympathies?" I ask, walking up to be next to Dean. "I was getting too close to the humans in my charge. You two. They feel I've begun to express emotions. The doorways to doubt. This can impair my judgment." "Well, tell Uriel, or whoever..." Dean walks passed Castiel, "you do not want me doing this, trust me." "Want it, no. But I have been told we need it." Cas says. "You ask me to open that door and walk through it, you will not like what walks back out." Dean warns, his voice breaking. Cas hesitates a little, "For what it's worth, I would give anything not to have you do this."
~~~~~~~
After Dean grabs his torture supplies, I ask Cas, "Why am I here? Why did you bring me here?"
Castiel sighs, leaning against a table as I sit down at it. "As I said, I can keep you safe. Sam can't"
I shake my head, "Yeah I heard you. But what am I being kept safe from?"
"Whatever is killing the other angels. It can use you to get to me. So to keep us both safe, I brought you here."
I huff out a chuckle, "Ah, so it's about saving your own ass." We can hear Alastair's groans of pain in the background.
Castiel looks at me with intense eyes, his tone firm, "No. That isn't it at all. It is my job to keep you safe. I would rather them just kill me outright than use you, harm you, to get to me. I can feelwhen you are hurt. If it is something I know you can't handle, like torture from whatever this thing is, I will come for you. Every time."
I look down at the table, quiet for several moments before saying, "I can see why your superiors think you are gaining emotions. But aren't you supposed to have feelings for me, as your...soulmate?" The term feels foreign on my tongue, strange to say out loud.
Cas hesitates before answering softly, "Not in the traditional, human sense. I do feel the need to protect you. And I can't help but feel sympathy for you, as I saw that you were upset about your friend's death. My condolences. I wish I could've apologized to her for blinding her."
"And your superiors don't want you to feel anything for me? Sounds like they're jealous about not finding theirs."
Castiel nods, "They say I shouldn't, you're right though. It's rare an angel finds their soulmate, because it's rare angels are on Earth to begin with. I am the only angel in my garrison to find theirs."
Alastair's groans get louder as the light flickers. Castiel looks up as a lightbulb explodes. I bring my arm up to cover my head from the sparks. He moves closer to me, gently pulling me into a standing position. He turns around as I look up, both of us seeing Anna. "Anna. You're okay." I grin, happy to see that Uriel hadn't killed her.
"Hello (Y/N), Castiel." Anna says, offering me a small smile.
"Your human body—" Castiel starts.
"It was destroyed, I know. But I guess I'm sentimental. Called in some old favors and..." Anna trails off, Alastair getting even louder in the next room. "You shouldn't be here. We still have orders to kill you." Castiel warns. Anna's gaze flickers to me again, "Somehow I don't think you'll try. Where's Uriel?" "He went to receive revelation." Cas informs. Anna walks passed us, keeping her back turned. "Right." She sighs and turns back around after a moment, "Why are you letting Dean do this?"
I cross my arms over my chest as Cas turns away from her and I, "He's doing God's work."
"Torturing? That's God's work?" Anna questions, "Stop him, Cas, please. Before you ruin the one real weapon you have."
"God isn't exactly 'all loving' right now is he?" I scoff.
Castiel sends me a small glare in an attempt to get me to shut up, "Who are we to question the will of God?" "Unless this isn't his will." Anna argues. "Then where do the orders come from?" Castiel asks.
"I don't know. One of our superiors, maybe, but not him.' Anna shakes her head. Castiel turns to face Anna and I again, walking up to me. "The father you love. You think he wants this? You think he'd ask this of you? You think this is righteous?" Anna asks. When Cas can't meet her gaze, she continues. "What you're feeling? It's called doubt."
I reach out to touch Castiel's hand, I'm not sure why, but I felt like I had to. Moral support maybe? "These orders are wrong and you know it." Anna says.
"But you can do the right thing." I interject, looking at Cas in the eyes.
Anna takes another step forward, "You're afraid, Cas. I was too. But together, we can still—" "Together?" Castiel yanks his hand from mine, which hurts a little not gonna lie. His eyebrows furrow as he raises his voice at Anna. "I am nothing like you. You fell. Go." He walks away from Anna and I, his back turned from us. "Cas." I say softly, my tone pleading. He turns around, looking directly at Anna, his voice dropping dangerously, "Go." Anna vanishes and I look down at the ground, my arms still crossed. "She's right Castiel. You're feeling doubt." Castiel's glare softens as it falls on me. "You're not some...dog to be lead around on a leash by Uriel. Or by anyone. Even with this soul bind we have, you're your own person. And I wish you could see that."
He doesn't respond. I take a moment, walking up to the door Alastair and Dean are behind. I look through the window, seeing Alastair pinning Dean to the hexacle, choking him. My eyes widen, "Holy shit-." I fling the door open, grabbing the machete off the cart and swinging it at Alastair.
I could hear Castiel shouting for me to stop as Alastair grabs my wrist, Dean falling to the floor. Alastair smirks at me as he snaps my wrist, making me let out a pained cry. I drop the machete and he backhands me, sending me crashing into the cart of torture objects. I grit my teeth at the pain in my wrist as I hear a struggle.
I manage to push myself up on the one arm, the other curled to my chest. I look up just as Alastair pushes Cas away, a knife imbedded in the demon's shoulder. "Well, almost. Looks like God is on my side today." Alastair taunts.
Castiel lifts his hand, twisting the knife with his abilities. Alastair grunts in pain and pulls out the knife with a shaky hand. Alastair charges Cas, but Cas has the upper hand, sending punch after punch until Alastair pushes him against a pillar with a large nail sticking out of it. The nail embeds itself in Castiel's back. "Cas!" I yell. "Well, like roaches, you celestials. Now, I really wish I knew how to kill you. But all I can do is send you back to heaven." Alastair says with a smirk before he starts chanting in Latin. Blue light, his grace, begins to appear out of Castiel's eyes and mouth as Alastair tries to exorcise his vessel. I stand up quickly, grabbing the machete again in my non-dominant hand, ramming the blade through Alastair's back.
The demon stops chanting, the light no longer showing in Castiel's features. Alastair let's go of Cas, the angel slumping to the ground, looking up at me and Alastair. I glance at Cas for a moment, who's bleeding from his head and nose. The demon turns around to me, the machete blade sticking out of his torso, the handle out of his back.
"Aw, little (Y/N) Singer, ya know, Hell still wants you. Maybe I'll hand you over to them." He taunts, taking a step forward. "Maybe I kill you now, then your pet angel. And then no more soulbond."
I glare at him, my broken wrist still curled to my chest, "I'd like to see you try you creepy ass son of a bitch!" With my non-dominant hand I punch him in the jaw.
He grabs his face and smirks, spitting blood onto the ground. "Quite the punch, little girl. Your daddy would be so proud." My jaw clenches as he continues, "After your adoptive father exorcised that demon that killed your parents, they liked to brag about how good it felt. Killing your ex-military daddy was the best part for them. Big macho man getting snuffed out by his wife-."
I punch him again, interrupting his taunting. His smirk just widens, grabbing me by the throat and pinning me to the nearby wall. I struggle to take a breath as he lifts me off my feet by the throat. My uninjured hand grabs his wrist as I choke. Alastair reaches around with his other hand, pulling the machete out of his back. He inspects the blade while choking me for a moment, "You lost your machete, Singer. Let me just return it for you."
I can hear the muffled voice of Castiel as blood pumps behind my ears, the blade of the machete piercing my torso. My eyes widen as blood pools in my mouth, dripping down my lips. Alastair chuckles for a moment, "Good riddance." He goes to push the blade farther in but stops abruptly, choking seemingly on nothing before he's slammed against the wall out of reach from me.
I drop to the floor, my uninjured, shaky hand going to the blade in my gut but not pulling it out. I hear shuffling, Castiel coming into my view as it starts to darken around the edges. I look to the side, seeing Sam. He's using his abilities to hold Alastair against the wall. I let out a soft cry as Castiel's hands replace mine on my wound. I cough and grit my teeth, blood coming out of the corner of my mouth.
I can faintly hear Sam talking to Alastair. Its muffled, like I'm underwater. All I feel is pain, a searing hot pain in my stomach. Castiel is talking to me, but I can't really hear him either. But the look on his face is heartbreaking. They say angels aren't supposed to have emotions but Castiel looks utterly devastated. Like his entire world is crumbling to pieces in his hands.
I can hear him faintly plead with me to stay awake. I can hear him begging me, praying that I don't close my eyes. But I'm so tired. I whimper as he presses harder against the wound, a more comforting warmth spreading over my body, distracting me from the pain. I let my eyes close. I'll meet him in my next life right?
~~~~~~~
3rd Person POV:
Dean is in a hospital bed, heavily bandaged with a breathing tube and an IV drip. Sam sits next to him as Castiel appears at the doorway. The angel makes eye contact with Sam and walks away. Sam follows him out of the room. "Sam—" Sam interrupts, "Get in there and heal him. Miracle. Now." Castiel shakes his head, "I can't." "You and Uriel put him in there—" "No." Castiel tries to say before Sam interrupts again. "—because you can't keep a simple devil's trap together." Castiel's voice raises slightly. "I don't know what happened. That trap..." The angel sighs, his voice lowering again. "...it shouldn't have broken. I am sorry."
"You healed (Y/N). So heal Dean!" Sam glances at his brother, all hooked up to machines in the hospital bed, then to his adoptive sister, who's sitting in a chair next to Dean's bed, asleep and using her arms as a pillow next to Dean's leg.
Castiel's eyebrows furrow, "She is my charge, I failed to protect her, I had to. I would do it hundreds more times if it meant she lives." "This whole thing was pointless. You understand that? The demons aren't doing the hits. Something else is killing your soldiers." Sam says. Castiel looks away in disbelief, "Perhaps Alastair was lying." He tries to argue. Sam shakes his head, "No, he wasn't." The younger Winchester turns around and walks back into the hospital room to rejoin his older brother and little sister, leaving Castiel to look betrayed, like someone had punched the angel in the face.
~~~~~~~
Uriel sits on a bench, eyes closed as Castiel appears next to him. Snow lays on the ground, appearing to be in a park of some kind. "Castiel, I received revelation from our superiors. Our brothers and sisters are dying and they...they want us to stop hunting the demon responsible." Uriel says, feigning innocence. Castiel sits down next to Uriel as he continues, "Something is wrong up there. I mean, can you feel it?" "The murders. Maybe they aren't demonic. Sam Winchester said the demons had nothing to do with it." Castiel explains. Uriel shakes his head, "If not the demons, what could it be?" Castiel's eyebrows furrow as he makes a guess, "The will of heaven. We are failing, Uriel. We are losing the war. Perhaps the garrison is being punished." "You think our father would—" Castiel interrupts him, "I think maybe our father isn't giving the orders anymore. Maybe there is something wrong." Uriel stands up, making Castiel look up at him. "Well, I won't wait to be gutted." Uriel vanishes, leaving Castiel alone on the park bench.
~~~~~~~
Castiel stands alone outside, under a streetlight as he calls, "Anna. Anna, please." The light flickers above him. He looks up and turns around, seeing Anna behind him. "Decided to kill me after all?" She asks. "I'm alone." He replies. "What do you want from me, Castiel?" "I'm considering disobedience." Castiel informs her. Anna nods, "Good." "No, it isn't. For the first time, I feel..." Anna gives him a small look of sympathy, "It gets worse." Castiel looks down as Anna walks up to him. "Choosing your own course of action is confusing, terrifying." She puts her hand on Castiel's shoulder. He looks at it and she drops it, her eyebrows crinkling. "That's right. You're too good for my help. I'm just trash. A walking blasphemy." As Anna turns to walk away, Castiel calls for her again, "Anna." She stops but doesn't turn around, "I don't know what to do. Please tell me what to do." She turns around with a small smile, "Like the old days? No. I'm sorry. It's time to think for yourself." Anna vanishes, leaving Castiel alone again.
~~~~~~~
Back in the room where Alastair was kept, where his soulbind was almost killed, Castiel examines the devil's trap. He notices the dripping faucet and shuts it off without touching it, using his abilities. "You called?" Uriel enters the room, "What do you say, Castiel? Will you join me? Will you fight with me?" "Strange. Strange how a leaky pipe can undo the work of angels when we ourselves are supposed to be the agents of fate." Castiel says with a hint of a smirk on his face. "Alastair was much more powerful than we had imagined." Uriel tries to argue. Castiel shakes his head, "No. No demon can overpower that trap. I made it myself." He takes slow steps towards Uriel. "We've been friends for a long time, Uriel. Fought by each other's sides, served together away from home, for what seems like forever." He stops, standing in front of the other angel. "We're brothers, Uriel. Pay me that respect. Tell me the truth." "The truth is, the only thing that can kill an angel..." Uriel starts, his angel blade sliding out of his sleeve and into his hand. "...is another angel."
"You." Castiel says. Uriel nods, "I'm afraid so." Castiel's face remains stoic, but the anger is evident in his tone, "And you broke the devil's trap, set Alastair on Dean. You almost got (Y/N) killed!" Uriel shakes his head, "Alastair should never have been taken alive. Really inconvenient, Cas. Yes, I did turn the screw a little. Alastair should have killed Dean and escaped. (Y/N) was never supposed to be here in the first place, but you insisted she would be safe with you. You should have gone on happily scapegoating the demons." Castiel tilts his head, "For the murders of our kin?" "Not murders, Castiel. No. My work is conversion. How long have we waited here? How long have we played this game by rules that make no sense?" Castiel turns around, his back facing Uriel, "It is our father's world, Uriel." "Our father?" Uriel asks incredulously. "He stopped being that, if he ever was, the moment he created them. Humanity, his favorites. This whining, puking larva." Castiel turns around, looking a little horrified. "Are you trying to convert me?" "I wanted you to join me. And I still do. With you, we can be powerful enough to—" "To?" Castiel trails off. "To raise our brother." "Lucifer." Castiel realizes. Uriel walks passed Castiel, "You do remember him? How strong he was? How beautiful? And he didn't bow to humanity. He was punished for defending us. Now, if you want to believe in something, Cas, believe in him." "Lucifer is not God." "God isn't God anymore. He doesn't care what we do. I am proof of that." Uriel paces, turning to Castiel. "But this? What were you gonna do, Uriel? Were you gonna kill the whole garrison?" Castiel asks. "I only killed the ones who said no. Others have joined me, Cas. Now, please, brother, don't fight me. Help me. Help me spread the word. Help me bring on the apocalypse. All you have to do is be unafraid." Uriel pleads. Castiel looks down, "For the first time in a long time, I am." Uriel smiles before Castiel punches him, sending him through the brick wall behind him several feet away. Uriel gets up and walks over, several punches later and Uriel throws Castiel through a pillar. Castiel recovers quickly, getting up and punching Uriel against a cart a few feet away.
Castiel walks up to him, but Uriel strikes him with a metal bar. Castiel gets to his knees in front of Uriel, nose and mouth bleeding as he looks up at him. "You can't win, Uriel. I still serve God." "You haven't even met the man. There is no will." Uriel punches Castiel. "No wrath." Another punch. "No God." Uriel raises his fist to swing again, but before he can, an angel blade is stabbed through his neck. "Maybe. Or maybe not. But there's still me." Anna whispers in Uriel's ear before pulling the blade out and walking over to Castiel as Uriel collapses. Uriel screams as white light flares in his eyes and mouth. The light explodes out of him and out of the building. Castiel stands up and looks down at Uriel's corpse. His wings are seared into the floor across the devil's trap.
~~~~~~~
Dean is still in the hospital bed, though the breathing tube is gone. Sam and (Y/N) having gone to get some coffee now that Dean was awake. Castiel sits next to him. "Are you all right?" He asks. Dean's voice comes out hoarse, his throat hurting from the breathing tube, "No thanks to you. But Sam told me that you saved my sister's life...so thanks for that." Castiel nods, "I'll always save her. But you need to be more careful." "You need to learn how to manage a damn Devil's trap." Dean retorts. "That's not what I mean. Uriel is dead." Castiel says. "Was it the demons?" "It was disobedience." Castiel informs. "He was working against us." Dean is quiet for a moment before he asks, "Is it true? Did I break the first seal? Did I start all this?" Castiel nods solemnly, "Yes. When we discovered Lilith's plan for you, we laid siege to Hell and we fought our way to get to you before you—" Dean interrupts, "Jump-started the apocalypse." Castiel leans his head back on the chair, looking at the ceiling, "And we were too late." Dean's voice breaks a little, "Why didn't you just leave me there, then?" "It's not blame that falls on you, Dean, it's fate. The righteous man who begins it is the only one who can finish it. You have to stop it." Castiel looks at Dean. "Lucifer? The apocalypse? What does that mean?" Castiel doesn't answer, making Dean call out for him. "Hey! Don't you go disappearing on me, you son of a bitch. What does that mean!?" Dean yells. Castiel doesn't even look at him, "I don't know." "Bull!" "I don't." Castiel turns to look at Dean again. "Dean, they don't tell me much. I know our fate rests with you." Dean's voice comes out soft, almost like a broken whisper. "Well, then you guys are screwed. I can't do it, Cas. It's too big. Alastair was right. I'm not all here. I'm not—I'm not strong enough. Well, I guess I'm not the man either of our dads wanted me to be. Find someone else. It's not me." Dean turns his head away from Castiel as a tear falls down his face.
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