I love saying “of course” instead of “you’re welcome,” like of course I’m helping you that’s what I do, you were foolish to even consider an alternate dimension in which I’m not helping you. you idiot. you absolute buffoon.

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DEAR READER
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@karylouise
I love saying “of course” instead of “you’re welcome,” like of course I’m helping you that’s what I do, you were foolish to even consider an alternate dimension in which I’m not helping you. you idiot. you absolute buffoon.
THE SIGNS AND THEIR PERSONALITIES
Stop Sign: Strict
Speed Limit Sign: Cautious
One Way Sign: Stubborn
Yield Sign: Shy
Keep Out Sign: Secretive
So you’re a young lady living in Mulan’s village. Like the other girls you get all dolled up and go to the matchmaker to find a husband.
The local tomboy goes first so you’re chilling outside, psyching yourself up, chatting up the gals, when you hear a crash from inside followed by screaming.
Out runs the matchmaker, she’s covered in ink and on fire. Mulan throws an entire kettle of steaming tea in her face. The matchmaker yells at her that she will never be married or bring her family honor. It’s been at most five minutes.
What do you do? Do you just, like, go home? Explain to your family you didn’t get a husband cause your neighbor set the matchmaker on fire? Do you go inside and try your luck at getting a husband on the 50-50 shot she gives all the well behaved girls good husbands out of spite while risking her foul mood giving everyone shitty matches?
Idk I just wanna know how that afternoon went for everyone else there.
Bugs Bunny accidentally transformed the word nimrod into a synonym for idiot because nobody got a joke where he sarcastically compared Elmer Fudd to the Biblical figure Nimrod, a mighty hunter.
Etymology is ridiculous and terrifying sometimes
Bugs Bunny is more powerful than God
He also solidified the idea of rabbits loving carrots when carrots actually carry very little nutritional value for rabbits. The funniest part of that is that the original joke was a reference to a Clark Gable film where Gable munches on a carrot, it was never meant to imply that rabbits love carrots. The Clark Gable reference would’ve been obvious to audiences in the 40s but it has been pretty much lost to time.
Bugs Bunny has too much power and should be feared.
as a kid I never appreciated the comedic genius of my elementary school principal, who, whenever our school won against another school in a sport, would play what felt like 2 minutes of “we are the champions” over the PA during announcements, and just as it’s going “cuz we are the champions…of” he’d hit stop and his deadpan voice over the PA system would go “Brampton.”
We had a middle school dance dj who would do something similar with party in the USA. He’d play the chorus like “yeah yeah yeah it’s a party in the..” and then stop the music and just say “school”
this is so fucking funny
sex scene = the audience is uncomfortable and learns nothing
Sax scene= the audience is impressed and learns love for the saxophone
me, learning about the greek pantheon in elementary: wow, I love athena, so brave and smart
me, after reading about the story of medusa: athena is a spiteful, dumb bitch who can’t direct her anger at the right people! wack ass hoe
Me, after learning than Medusas head was used as a sign of safety and female autonomy in women’s spaces because it was seen as a gift from Athena, to allow Medusa never to be harmed that way again: oh dope, Athenas on our side. Kill a man who dares to look upon you with possession in his heart.
Me, after learning that Athena holds herself to the ‘not like other girls’ standard and usuallys sides with whatever the nearest dick-toting diety says: what the fuck what a fake bitch
Me, after learning that most of the media depicting Greek Gods by the ancient Greeks that survives today was commissioned, designed, and made by men, and therefore does not depict female interpretation or telling of the myths, and is probably extremely biased towards a misogynistic portrayal of a strong woman: the canon Athena was in our hearts all along.
Me, after hearing the myth about Athena cursing Arachne into the first spider because she beat the goddess in a weaving contest: What a bitch ? The Arrogance.
Me, after hearing there are three versions of the myth, and the others have Arachne hang herself in shame so Athena brought her back to life as a spider and the third version having Zeus curse the loser to never touch a spindle wheel and when Arachne lost Athena took pity on her and transformed her so she could weave without breaking her oath: Goddess just wanted this fine artist to weave forever, doing what she loved. she ain’t that bitch
In conclusion: We stan
Aerial Photographs Explore the Unique Geometric Patterns of Coastal Barcelona
A city where necromancy is legal and actually a part of every day society. So long as you follow a specific set of laws to make it seem a bit more ethical, you’re allowed to use it to do anything from helping you in a fight, to helping you run your business. In fact, there are entire shops or restaurants where the staff are undead. Laws to handle the undead could be things like:
• The corpses used cannot have flesh on them for sanitary reasons, especially in the case of businesses. Those who raise undead who are more than just bone will face a fine dependent on their situation.
• Similar to how people can donate their bodies to science, or donate their organs to those in need, people can choose to donate their bodies to necromancers before their death.
• If it is unknown if a person wished for their body to be donated after death, and they have been dead for 150+ years, you’re allowed to raise them. If next of kin is still alive, you must get permission from them first.
• You must take care of the undead in your charge. Keep them clean and unbroken. If one of them starts to get too much wear and tear, you are required by law to respectfully lay them back down to rest. Failure to do this will get you a hefty fine.
I’m making a town like this and the tavern will be called the Skelet-Inn
Fucking brilliant
I mean, take it a step further, if you aren’t sure if someone would want their body used after their death, call them up and ask them. It’s less taxing to cast a Commune with Dead spell than to raise an active skeleton, and this way you know for sure whether they mind, so there’s no ethical ambiguity.
Most local dead consider the idea of skeletal labor completely normal, so they tell the necromancer that they waive all rights to the corpse for public work purposes as a formality and then go back to their afterlife.
For private employ however it’s customary to pay a small stipend to either a living relative or a charity of the ghost’s choice in exchange for their corpse’s labor.
Due to the prevalence of public works done by skeletons, Necromancers are seen in much the same light as government functionaries. They’re stereotyped as mild mannered people who do an important service but are also really boring at parties.
i literally never force myself to do anything thats probably my biggest problem abjzsdgdhdj
me: ugh i dont want to do that
brain: dont do it then
me: can’t argue with that
*realizes I exist outside of my own perceptions of myself and that people probably talk about me sometimes* what the fuck
me: i never really get mad
me: *has lived in a constant state of fluctuating frothing rage for the past 3-6 months*
me abt me: can someone like.. take care of her