Izuru notes the cold expression on Asuka’s face, and he can’t help but shiver some at it. How long has it been since that look was directed at him? He can’t remember. Not really. But then, maybe he’s too drunk to remember. That’s always a possibility too. He closes his eyes as Asuka speaks, not wanting to hear it.
He knows he didn’t give a good answer. That he didn’t give Asuka what he wants. But he doesn’t care either. He knows what he wants, and he knows that he’ll never get it. So what’s the point in admitting to it?
When the hand loosens, he immediately starts trying to pull away, only to stop when it settles instead on his neck. He’s fully aware of the fact that Asuka could squeeze at any moment, and there’s a part of him that wants him to. To squeeze until there’s nothing left.
But he knows that Asuka won’t do that, either. Just like he knows that Asuka won’t leave, and that he’ll keep pressing until he gets what he wants. His eyes reopen again, this time with a coldness of their own, as he glares back at the sixth seat.
Perhaps he’s looking too deeply into things, but it almost sounds as if Asuka is propositioning him for sex, now of all times. With the foul mood he’s in, Izuru is hardly up for that sort of thing, and he feels an ire rising up within him that he rarely allows.
It is this anger that causes him to reach up and grasp Asuka’s wrist in his own hand, his grip not enough to hurt, but not loose enough to allow for easy escape either. Tightening his hand for just a moment, he starts trying to pull the sixth seat’s hand off of his neck.
“What I need, Asuka, is none of your concern.” He knows that Asuka won’t like that answer either, but neither does he care. He just wants to be left alone. He wants to sleep. He wants…
Maybe he can get Asuka angry at him. Enough to hurt him, even. It would certainly save him the trouble of getting up to grab another knife from the kitchen, that much is certain.
It’s not entirely untrue that Asuka’s suggesting sex. He’s always found it a good coping mechanism when shit gets problematic and he needs a way to get free from his head. But what the raven’s really after is some kind of reaction: he wants to get Izuru mad. Angry enough to hit him, maybe, or yell or anything. And with that look the lieutenant gives him, it seems he’s well on his way to it.
His eyes flick down to that small hand as it settles on his wrist, but only for an instant. Fingers instinctively tighten, but not enough to actually restrict Izuru’s breathing, as the lieutenant tries to lever him away. If he really wants to, Asuka has no doubt the noble could push him away, but he’s not so the sixth-seat resists with the strength of his arm rather than his grasp.
“Why,” he growls, “why ain’t i’ my concern? Coz I don’t know ya tha’ well; coz ya ain’t worth i’; coz i’ don’t matter anyway? Bullshi’.” It’s all self-indulgent lies to Asuka. He’s watched Izuru for decades now, has seen him at his low points and the highs. He values the lieutenant more than anyone. “Ain’t I good ‘nough t’ talk to, yer nobleness?”
It’s a low blow, preying on Izuru’s status as a means to aggravate him, but Asuka doesn’t care. He’ll use anything that has a chance of working to get through that thick skull, and he has no intention of apologising for it.