So basically it’s gonna taste like minty shit?
Not shit, per se. Just-I don't know. Trying to describe this is the single most frustrating thing ever. It's not bad, though. And it helps, I think.

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@katdistefanoo
So basically it’s gonna taste like minty shit?
Not shit, per se. Just-I don't know. Trying to describe this is the single most frustrating thing ever. It's not bad, though. And it helps, I think.
Today, I’m an elephant.
Not really, my sister gave me elephant ears. How sweet is that?
Jealous! Can I have your sister? My brothers would never get me elephant ears.
Annnnnnd totally didn’t mean to hit that light
Do you think anyone will notice?
Maybe if you stand really, really still, no one will see you.
What? Kat, I don’t know if we can be friends anymore.
See, that’s the job I want. I can’t shoot the kids, that’s illegal. They treat me alright. They haven’t been pissing me off lately, which is good.
Oh, come now, why can't we just agree to disagree? Why must it always be this dramatic ending of the friendship?
Well, if you want a job, there's always an opening for toilet cleaner. Lord knows I hate that job. Oh, that's good. High schoolers can be quite annoying sometimes.
Yea, though I prefer cunt over fanny to be honest.
It depends on the situation. I always imagined cunt as a fancy curse. Like the kind of thing you call someone at a banquet. And fanny would just be an everyday kinda thing, you know?
Is that the bubblegum pink shit that looks like tar?
Pepto Bismol is indeed that pink shit. It doesn't taste bad, though. Just, like, whatever you imagine the color pink to taste like, but minty.
When the whole meth business takes a small hit because of the impending troughs in the business cycle, I’ll be sure to engineer a g string that is credit card compatible. I used to throw skittles at strippers so that they could taste the rainbow… In the name of Baby North West Christ we ask us to forgive our twerking sins. To blessed Kimye, we give our hollas.
Exactly. Hm, I might just get into business with you if need be. You've got a smart financial head on your shoulders. You're goin' places, kid, I see it now. Yeah, I imagine it's kind of hard to see rainbows when you're stuck in a dark strip club all day. We ask that the holy Kimye bless our endeavors and make sure that the asses are always fat and the cash is always flowing. Amen.
That’s not true! Germany was very nice. Maine confused me a bit, like we had one of those schedules where you take four classes for the first half of the year, and the other four the other half. Well, fanny for you is ass, and for us it’s, a very vulgar word for the front… of a woman.
I'll take your word for it, seeing as I've never been. I knew people who had schedules like that but I always took the bare minimum so my classes were never too confusing, thank God. Oh. Oh, that's actually really funny, oh my goodness. Like-like the c-word?
You know what was a bit daunting that I’m glad to be rid of? German schooling. Your grades are out of ten there, it’s a bit confusing, really. Well, in some cases it is. Like, from my understanding, fanny for you means ass? Yea, not that for us. At all. It’s a rather cheeky word we tend to avoid using.
German anything sounds scary, to be quite honest. Well, except German engineering. That just sounds awesome. Hm, I wonder which country has the most complicated schooling system. Oh, see you can't just tell me something like that and then not explain what fanny means for you guys. That's such a tease! I promise I won't judge your country for whatever it is.
I can find some lovable hoodlums, usually the best bet are hobos, considering they’ll do anything for a sandwich… and I do make a mean grilled cheese. God damn it, America, you and your capitalist economy! That g-string idea could be worth a fortune, after all, how many singles does one brotha carry around with them? God save the Queen Bey. Let us pray, ah- men.
Oh, definitely. The cheaper their incentive to work, the better. Less expenses cutting into your profit. It really could, though! You should look into it and make sure it isn't already a thing because that could definitely be a nice gig to support the whole meth thing. I know that whenever I go to the strip club, it feels like I'm out of singles so quickly, and I don't wanna be that person making it hail. Of course, let us join hands. We look to you, our lord and savior, Scott Disick, to guide us in these oh so troubling times.
Elephant is one of the most perfect albums of all time. So is Pinkerton, but that’s another thing completely.
How’s work been?
You're definitely right there. Hm, I don't know. I think I like The Blue Album better than Pinkerton. It's just got so many great Weezer classics on it.
It's been pretty good, actually. My boss is nice and I get to shoot things during my breaks for free. How about you? Kids treating you well?
Well, it’s not too bad. My cousins quite enjoy it over there. It’s not really that weird. I guess because I don’t think about it much, and Americans tend to use the same words anyway, like wonky. It’s unfortunate when they don’t match up though. I think my siblings and I still have our accent because our parents still have theirs.
It just sounds a bit daunting, especially to someone like me. Although I guess England's school system doesn't get to being better than most others' for no reason.Yeah? Here I was thinking the slang gap was this wide expanse that could only be crossed by means of epic quest. Oh, okay, see that makes sense.
Please excuse me if I barf on your shoes.
Need some Pepto Bismol? I've got copious amounts in my bag.
I’d like to think so, though I don’t use meth. Only because I’m not allowed to. How does one also start a meth business, is it like “Hi, I would like to sell one meth?”. Then I report my earnings on a tax sheet. That confuses me, is that a new way to pay for strippers? I sure hope so, that’s convenient. Jay Z? You’re making me feel things, stop.
No, you should never. Everyone knows you should never do your product. Look what happened to that guy in Goodfellas. Hm, I think you're supposed to go to like the shitty part of town or whatever and like get a lovable hoodlum to trust you and spread the word to the people there. Then, boom, you're in business. Maybe you could write it off as a small business. Maybe. Like, maybe all the strippers have this new microscopic card scanning machine in their g-strings. Oh, Jay Z is a good choice, he's definitely classy. I mean, he's married to the queen of class. Shhh, there's no denying it. You are both the Kanye and the Jay Z of Beacon Hills. You are the holy trinity minus the ghost.
Well, it is a little different in England. Had we stayed there, I’d be in College and preparing for my A Levels. Which are a little intimidating. Way more intimidating than the SAT or the ACT that’s for sure. Oh wait, you meant when it came to speaking. That’s a little different too, but my English is a bit off considering I haven’t lived in England in a little over ten years.
That all does sound terribly intimidating. You've suddenly made me thankful to be an American. We need that song to play now: And I'm proud to be an American, where at least I know I'm freeeee. That second half doesn't apply but we can just pretend it does. Is it weird to speak using both American and British slang? I imagine it must be pretty cool. It's also cool that you still have such a noticeable accent after all this time. Ten years is a while.