A poetic mess

Your favourite poet's poet

[kathastrophic]

Hurrican

If you shatter a glass door

Do you put it back together

Or simply just walk through it?

Do you move before

The ceiling meets the floor

Or keep building air ruins?

Do you pass the torch

When you're about to catch fire

Or when you're about to burn out?

Do you play again

After losing the game

And being returned to the first round?

Get it out of your head

If you won't adress it head on

Don't throw away a good plate

And then come back for seconds

Don't bother fixing your problems

Just keep dedicating them love songs.

Yeah, keep ignoring this mess

Ignore the itch in fear of rash

Until the skeletons in your closet

All have grown flesh

Knock over closed doors to make your sweet escape

But knocking at the window of time

You'll meet her again

Hurrican

Do you change the game of chances

If you realizes nothing is changing?

Do you fasten the rhythm

If you see no one dancing?

Even if it leaves you standing

Because you keep missing your cue

Is it worthy skipping a full stop

If your brake pedol has been glued?

How can you abandond a wreckage

If it still feels so lived in?

How can you keep your door open

Without missing the smell of sweet sin?

Till all the fruits that never ripened

Will finally be rotten

But if you turn away and run

Hades might let it be forgotten

If you know you'll always be the same

If the dices won't fall the other way

If your heavy feet

Keep granting you a stay

In your self made hell's gate

If you don't find errors in eros base play

And don't mind playing betting games with your good fate

If you're not ashamed of putting yourself to shame

Or putting a curse on your good name

Then you'll catch the wind and let it carve your way

Hurrican

Her again

[kathastrophic]

Speaking metaphorically

When we first met i kept things reminding me of you

Put a lock on the drawer

So no one got a clue

But now my box of love poems is filled with something new

I've got unsend apologies

Have I told you about the ship that wrecked in the clear water?

No ice berg caused the bow to dip

No cloud in the sky

You asked me about the damfool captain And i introduced the legend as I

It wasn't the absence of the boatswain Who in wild winds had lost her sight

It was just a girl on her lonesome voyage In the big sea, she lost her mind

It's no suprise i wrecked the still heart of the ocean

I need the waves to kill the urge to jump of and swim

When my head is out of motion

I drown in thoughts

my body grows limp

Reading through love eulogies

You still wonder about you and me

Try to deciphe my apologies

Don't grow smart from all my analogies

Aluding to ancient history

My imagery adds insult to injury

I paint my blues in secrecy

Compile galaries of our shared misery

No, I don't have the integrity

To fully speak in clearity

So i keep speaking metaphorically Speaking metaphorically

After total destruction comes

Reconstruction

To never grow bored you must never grow stable

To never grow stable you must never grow bored

Hence the broken toarches and the frayed cables

Give it a try

Paint the blue onto my sky

My storm will consume it all

Miles of blues covered in gray walls

Every conquest for guiding light

manifests an icarus fall

This is your last call

Clear my shoulders from your warming coat

Release your dying hands from my sore throat

Give up on being my savor

And carring this sinking ship to the habor

You must've forgotten I am your sailor

Lakes of sorrows, your traughts of temper

Nights of terror in the storm center

Bite my tounge, the truth gets swallowed

Keep you hanging from my hollows

Before our lips lose their colour

One last goodbys

Lost to where the water meets the sky

[kathastrophic]

Young love in post modern times

I'm in no age to be this cynical

Declaring loving me as criminal

This fear of hurt must be clincal

i am never this analytical

No, I don't take rose colored glasses

Unless you hand me a pescription

My mind always leads me to wrong directions

But won't let me fall for love's deception

I am unworthy of the spell no one wants to be put under

But i wish to believe in a world build of faux wonder

I paint all your roses red

Grant you unworthy of my head

Believing the fall leading to wonderland

Will leave me for the dead

A tale old as time

I declared unworthy of my time

Soft words form hard feelings

To strong for my frigid mind

3 words, 8 letters

I can't swallow with them with wine

My heart has never been broke

But it can't bare one dime

Poetry, my prefered language

Yet I can't bare love a rhyme

Young love in post modern times

I need to place my bet in cupid's lottery

Win the price of his endless mokery

Have my friends roll their eyes at me

And break bread over our shared misery

Need to fall for evil's obvious disguis

Fall into a net of string of lies

And tye the knot with shady ties

I have predicted we're doomed

With a magic eight ball

How long can we waltz through your room

Before my back is against a wall?

I want someone to softly step on me

And break me out of my old shell

I want love to crash my world

And bring down heaven to my self made hell

Lonliness is tearing on independence guards

What's the point of staying starry eyed

If i keep breaking own my heart?

So, enjoy the joined plessure of wrecking my wretched heart

I need love to swep me of the floor

And break my head at the ceiling

The world to start spinning

So i disgorge my unpleasent feelings

For my eulogies to finally find their meaning

The unstable rotation

Turning denotation to connotation

Making sense of senseless infatuation

Waking up with the expaction

Of the daily sensation

Of being loved somebody

And feeling guarded instead of caged by some body

Love is war and i fight to be defeated

God, what does it take to be needed?

[kathastrophic]

Surface Hunter

I see you knocking at my gate

If i open it, will you call it fate?

You run after me and claim your course

Run after me and claim your wild horse

Behind you the remains of your collateral damage

Bloody hands still wrapped up in their bandage

Tracing back to another heart that had died of your famine

Another heart that believed in your amen

You chase butterflies to garnish your bare walls

Beautiful voices echo in your silent walls

I'd like to have a word with who worded your last sentence

I'd like to hear your voice you never speak for your own

Your ride is not as interessting as all of you dead ends

I keep my eyes at the side of your road

Cause the lighting never compares to your thunder

And your doe eyes don't carry the same childlike wonder

I know who you're are i know who you're not

I know every body you left here to rott

Every innocent soul that followed you into the woods

Believing fairy tales and dreaming of promised goods

I know you don't always kill for the hunger

I know who you are, surface hunter

I don't need your white horse guiding my fate into your castle

I don't need this illusion to be everlasting

I want this spell to wear off

Your colors to fade into my new horizons

The farther i run, the closer i am to your aim

Your cold hands always yearn for someone elses flame

All i stand for you looked upon with shame

Now you hang my portraits and sign them with your name

[kathastrophic]

Pretty Strange

The best for a girl was to be a beautiful fool

Men's preferences are unchanged,

now they just want them to be cool.

But their preferences have ranged:

Engange and be a tool.

Womenhood is being stuck in a game

with everchanging rules.

Some stayed in old fashion:

Fancy a 1950s dame.

Some just want an outline

with no story and no name.

Others are looking for a wild child

as an animal to tame.

Thirst to suck fresh milk

out of the body of a lamb.

Bargain for a raw diamond,

who has the beauty and the brain

Not the awarness of her potential

and is waiting to be changed.

She's so shiny in the sunlight,

that it's almost a shame.

That he keeps her locked inside

unless he has something to gain.

Then there are guys like you,

who think normal girls are plain

and think they're complimentary,

when they call you Pretty Strange.

Pretty Strange

That's what you want from me

Pretty strange

That's how you fond of me

Pretty Strange

Stop taunting me

Pretty Strange

Those words are haunting me

At the first impression

I knew who you think I am.

I am different from every girl you've met,

but you're like every man.

Complimented my taste in music:

Liking The Smiths and Radiohead.

Recommended me your favourite movies,

as if i didn't know Wes Anderson.

The way i dress reminds you of Summer

or a girl from an indie film

named after a some flower:

Character developement for him.

Invited me to your place

to connect two precocious souls

Primitive thoughts behind interlectual conversation.

By way of sharing the same interests

and bonding over never fitting in,

you thought you'd get into my pants.

Start the connection with our skin.

If I went and got undressed

would I still be a girl who reads poe?

Cool girl, no strings attached:

Now I lead you on and am a hoe?

When glaring at my body,

you were just pursuing my soul.

Plead me as something special,

but i'm just another hole.

Despite knowing the history,

I fell for your charade.

Being tormented for my weidness,

I admired being Pretty Strange.

Cast my world out of order

To be your brand of extraordinary

Drop down to my knees

To be your weird, sexy virgin mary

I swear to always be loyal

To my untethered, roaming lover

I'll be restless, free and wild

Only under your bed covers

I'll make loving me so easy

I'll never ask for you to please me

I'll be your madonna

I'll be your whore

I just can't be different from other girls anymore

I'll be pretty strange

If that what you want from me

Pretty strange

Cause that's why you're fond of me

Pretty Strange

The words that are haunting me

Pretty Strange

Just strange

Strange

[kathastrophic]

I don't want you to know

Back at the train station

Finally going home

Running low behind tall buildings

Got me missing the calm

I've felt the grey of this season

Allowed myself to grow cold

Head against the train window

can't believe i missed the first snow

Never knew what i wanted

Just wanted to grow

Tried to start on a new page

But now i am stuck in the fold

My parents joking banter

About how i never call

They can't believe i am turning twenty

God, we're all growing old

I tell i've been busy

The rest just goes untold

And i'd never admit it

The wreck i have made of my new world

I guess that's just the way things go

If you never want to change

But aspire to grow

And i never show

It's getting so old

Growing old having nothing to show

I don't want you to know

You are always on the run

If you run with the great

Especially if you're so far behind

The greats start to fade

After all you run for your fate

It all starts to fade

the great and the fate

And i'm sorry after all this delay

All you got is a day

But as the train passes the station

I'm back in the gray

And there a i lay

In the bed i made

Reminising times with nothing at stake

With my return the return of my ache

My body is burning

I know this is a warning to stop saving face

To give myself grace

But i keep lying to your face

That i am one of the greats

But i am not doing great

[kathastrophic]

Stargazing

I spend too many words setting the scene

I forgot what to write about

Starring at clouds made of steam

trying to remember what my dreams were about

A train of thought passes me by

The thoughts drain the blue from my sky

I'm moving in place

My feet feel stuck

Concience escaped in a pick up truck

Stargazing in this big new city

My eyes get caught up in the wandering lights

Waiting for the rain to hit me

As i sleepwalk with open eyes

Caught in a daydream

Starring holes into the wall

Ignoring light beams and the morning sun's calls

One colourful haze, one warm feeling

I am stargazing

Straight through my ceiling

The leaves paint my way as the season changes

I don't change with it so my feet grow cold

The wind blows the days of my calendar

The leaves crowd the floor, i count the days and feel old

How comes we already past semptember

I am still unprepared for the fall

I search for time, chase after fate

As christmas lights glisten in empty halls

I followed my gaze and fell out of luck

Lost my passion trying to follow up

Every night my gaze ends at the window

Despretly waiting for it to change my view

Trying to deciphe the day that follows by the phases of the moon

Slowly start to despite the sun for giving me the same old greys and blues

Give me something new

I need something new 

[chosen-by-allah-deactivated2025]

[kathastrophic]

First impression of Adolescent

Always running to catch the last bus of the day After another welcome was overstayed But it's okay, because my arrival was delayed And my parting gift wasn't all that great So I ought to introduce myself again Reenter the room as a total stranger Stay luring from a different angle With my perspective never changing Keep discovering the same danger That comes with barefoot dancing At the brink of a hot knife At the familiar edge i look down on an honest life I take the risk and a deep dive To discover it's shallow water Still never getting to the bottom of it Or back to the top but rather Staying somewhere in the inbetweens stuck on surface level conversations Bringing the wrong substance to every situation Overinduldgung and spitting words Promising myself no next invitation My juvenile essence leaves such a lingering scent Trying to mask it with some cheap perfume Trying to proclaim myself as independent Showing off my handcrafted ruin Blindly cutting ever guiding hand While touching through a thorned room Sleep through the day, miss out on sun And await the midnight gloom Sell my innocence, I have to pay rent Can't settle my debts, with good amends All these pleasently unpleasent messes Conclude to impressively unimpressive lessons All's well don't end well It's a steady regression Forming the first impressions of Adolescent Forced nostalgia to days I wished to outgrow Remenising feelings I have never shown Never knowing what I am expected to know An odyssey of exploration for my newest low Looking through the car window At every wreck I leave my trace The oil spill spelling out my name At the escape I left my grace For you to find when looking for blame Trying to safe face But gravity is humbling Burried in my own hole I deny ever stumbling I reject the hand reaching out for me Say i'm not reaching for the sky I start embracing living deep Because i can't afford another try But if i dig a little deeper I may come out on the other side A glimpse of hope crosses my vision Because i am scared of the clear light I've got no outlook for the future I burried myself below the x Finished the last cigarette of my first pack I passed some girl And found all I lack Sell below my value, but no intrests to my rack Get rejected from minimum wage I talk too much for a talking stage Checked off all my firsts But no one comes back for seconds I can't get my drivers license You can't own, but always lease me I'm never simple, but always easy

[kathastrophic]

Anti Romanticism

I'm in no age to be this cynical Declaring loving me as criminal This fear of getting hurt must be something clincal Because i am usually never this analytical No, I don't take rose colored glasses Unless you hand me a pescription My mind always leads me to wrong directions But won't let me fall for love's deception I am unworthy of the spell no one wants to be put under But i wish to believe in a world build of faux wonder I paint all your roses red Grant you unworthy of my head Believing the fall leading to wonderland Will leave me unrepairable or dead A tale old as time I declared unworthy of my time Soft words form hard feelings To strong for my frigid mind 3 words, 8 letters I can't swallow with them with wine My heart has never been broke But it can't bare one dime Poetry, my prefered language Yet I can't bare love a rhyme Anti Romanticism I need to place my bet in cupid's lottery Win the price of his endless mokery Have my friends roll their eyes at me And break bread over our shared misery Need to fall for evil's obvious disguis Fall into a net of string of lies And tye the knot with shady ties I have predicted we're doomed With a magic eight ball How long can we waltz through your room Before my back is against a wall? I want someone to softly step on me And break me out of my old shell I want love to crash my world And bring down heaven to my self made hell Lonliness, the only thing able to tear independence guards What's the point of staying starry eyed If i keep breaking own my heart The joined plessure of wrecking my wretched heart I need love to swep me of the floor And break my head at the ceiling The world to start spinning So i disgorge  my unpleasent feelings For my eulogies to finally find their meaning The unstable rotation Turning denotation to connotation Making sense of senseless infatuation Love is war and i fight to be defeated God, what does it take to be needed

[kathastrophic]

Past self

If you shatter a glass door Do you put it back together Or simply just walk through it? Do you move before The ceiling meets the floor Or keep building air ruins? Do you pass the torch When you're on fire Or when you're about to burn out? Do you play again After losing the game And being returned to the first round? Get it out of you head If you won't adress it head on Don't throw away a good plate And then come back for seconds Don't bother fixing your problems Just keep dedicating them love songs. Yeah, keep ignoring this mess Ignore the itch in fear of rash Until the skeletons in your closet All have grown flesh Knock over closed doors to make your sweet escape But knocking at the window of time There will always be you past self Do you change the game of chances If you realizes nothing is changing? Do you fasten the rhythm If you see no one dancing? Even if it leaves you standing Because you keep missing your cue Is it worthy skipping a full stop If your brake pedol has been glued? How can you abandond a wreckage If it still feels so lived in? How can you keep your door open Without missing the smell of sweet sin? Till all the fruits that never riped Will finally be rotten But if you turn away and run Hades might let it be forgotten If you know you'll always be the same If the dices won't fall the other way If your heavy feet Keep granting you a stay In your self made hell's gate If you don't find errors in eros base play And don't mind playing betting games with your good fate If you're not ashamed of putting yourself to shame Or putting a curse on your good name Then you know you always find the stony, cold way Back again Back again To your past self

[coquettishpink]

[pelopona]

me and my moots <3

[kathastrophic]

5-4-3-2-1

I have never grasped the efforts it takes to feel sensless

The measures it takes to shut down

Now i am rotting in my bed again

Trying to see in the somber darkness

I see a pile of clothes

Usually adding color to my blank floor

But now resembling shadows

Some dirty dishes that have not made their way to the kitchen yet

To start cleaning themself

The desk, that is so overfilled

Despite not having been touched in days

The crumpled papers threatening to fall off it

Boxes that, should be packed by now laying empty on the floor

And boxes that haven't been emptied yet joining them in ruining my perfect escape

To end the train of thought

blaring through my head

I started to hear

I can hear the bed squeaking with every hectic movement

Some drunk peers waiting for the first bus chanting

Usually this sound would provoke annoyance in me, occasionally envy

But right now it feels like they are mocking me

Like they can see through my window and heavy curtains

And examine the mess

And they are laughing at me

I can hear the bus finally arriving

Working as a relief

But also a painful reminder of the time

I hear the birds chirping confirming that another day has started without me

To distract myself from the stench of my own fear

I start to smell

The sweet smell of smoke awakens my nose

Making me wonder how something that imitates candy

Can be so rough on my throat

The smell of half a dinner reminds me of my hunger for everything but food

Judging by the strong aroma

it must have taken a few hits from the summer heat

And still is triumphed by my own aroma

My sweat immensely saltens the air

A quick shower started to appear like a impossible obstacle course through my room

I try to feel

No, I don't want to feel

Because even the feeling of my blanket sticking onto my sweaty skin,

Failing to put me to rest

Reminds me of my loneliness

That you're not by my side to share these unpleasent feelings

I have never craved something more

Feeling embraced in your cold touch

Feeling hypnoticed by the harsh stench

Feeling comfort in weak voice

Feeling your gloomy eyes look after me.

I need you

[kathastrophic]

Blame it on my age

I breathe in air fresh as scandal

Standing in the dim light of another shady man

God knows that i can handle

God knows I'm not better than

Don't know who's the moth and

Who's the candle

Who tried to catch

And who ran

Who is gonna end up in shambles

Just know I'm at it again

Playing foolish games

Searching for love in flames

But I am not to blame

Bleeding hearts are out of my aim

From love I run

Like it's a loaded gun

If asked by someone I call it being young

Pull a bluff, you call love

Draw a deuce, call it an ace

Take the easy way out

Create an unsolvable mase

Lead by a string of lies

They blow up in my face

I'm just a piece if clay

Still destined to be changed

Before i grow hard

And start to flake

I'm not as grown as i claimed

So you can still blame it on my age

My dishonesty should be alarming

But my incompetence just makes it charming

I plant a bad seed, pity is what i am farming

I am in armory yet you don't find me disarming

Because deep down you know it's only me, who i am harming

I need someone i can't maim

They need someone they can't tame

Deep down, we're all the same

Putting real lovers to shame

Blame it on my age

Blame it on my Youth

Behind my bad mouth

Is just one rotting tooth

Time will tell if maturity is the medicine

Or if i keep getting sicker

If i'll lay down my gun

Or finally pull the trigger

If my forceful flames

Will die down to a pitiful flicker

Or I'll become a wild fire

Burning my world to the ground

[letsbelonelytogetherr]

— unknown

[kathastrophic]

Mindless Overthinking

Nothing ever sways in just one direction. At least two are needed for one interaction What you scream in a void will always come back, but the echo has become what i lack. I give and I give, but the pendlum is broken i scream and I scream but nobody is answering. Is my energie just too much to match? Should cut it down, start leaning back? Are all my efforts just overwhelming? Is your silence your way of telling me that I'm a little too much? Have I overdone the me in our us? Is my exaggeration ruining my chances? Am I doomed for lonesome dances? Will i ever be loved? Will i ever marry? Abide solitary until I'm dead and burried? Once again I'm the one reaching out Can't tell if you're unbothered or too proud. I wish I could say my love has to be earned but again I'm doing favors that won't be returned. Covinced you despice me it's becoming absurd. After you ignore me a second I'm so insecure. Will you leave once I'm no longer convinient? Are you joking or is this really a compliment? Do you talk badly about me once I'm gone? Why can't I feel like I ever belong? If I didn't speak would I go unnoticed? For you to gift me do you need a motive? Do I have to change to be cared about? Begging for attention, am I crying too loud? When will be the moment you leave me to rot? Will I always just be an afterthought? these questions going through my head pain me as if they were bullets the self distructive creature in my bed would be indifferent if i was wounded ruined another night with my unwishful thinking really would be in the need of a guide cause i'm tumbeling as if i was drinking so caught up with myself can't see where the brink is shaken too the core as my heals starts sinking left crestfallen on the floor by mindless overthinking when my cold sweats froze and my jaundiced eye closed i knew there would be no sleepless nights no more from the dead i'll will soar as someone less of a bore A reinvention worthy to die for to honor my ghost i have one intention reword my last sentences so no one perishes due bordom may the worms get a use of me in post mordem