Want to read my writing?
Check out my Substack, baby.
katiemcvay.substack.com
No title available
art blog(derogatory)

PR's Tumblrdome
Game of Thrones Daily
trying on a metaphor
AnasAbdin
dirt enthusiast
Sweet Seals For You, Always
i don't do bad sauce passes

titsay
styofa doing anything
noise dept.
ojovivo
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
Misplaced Lens Cap

Product Placement
KIROKAZE

tannertan36

@theartofmadeline

#extradirty

seen from United Kingdom

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from France

seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from Netherlands
seen from Malaysia

seen from Japan

seen from Finland
seen from Poland

seen from Germany
seen from India

seen from South Korea
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Philippines

seen from United States
seen from Poland

seen from United States
@katiemcvay
Want to read my writing?
Check out my Substack, baby.
katiemcvay.substack.com
twitter????
twitter is dying so I'm traveling back in time aka signed back in here
Men Not to Fuck in 2k18
It could be argued that every year on this planet is an unmitigated shitshow. But, it feels like 2017—more than most—fit that title. We’re living in some sort of cryptofascist nightmare where my uncle wants to ask me about blockchain and the American president is a reality game show host (still). This is not what we were hoping for. (We also were hoping not to end a sentence on a preposition but c’est la vie.)
Regardless of the nightmare hellscape of the present, we’re all still bumping uglies. And, therefore, we must establish some sort of ground rules on how who we fuck, where we fuck, and why we fuck.
As always (?), my heteronormative as fuck list of men not to fuck. (All laws from 2016 and 2017 are still standing.)
Dumpster Fire Daddies: I have some thoughts to share on word choice in the year of our dumpster fire 2018. So, let that sink in. Our world keeps shrinking as Disney buys Marvel and Marvel buys my mother and Nestlé fucks my dog. The internet is shrinking and so is your ability to hide from it, carve out space from it, avoid becoming one with the collective consciousness. We have very little that is ours, truly ours, in this world, but our linguistic capabilities need not be swept up in some sort of capitalistic terrorwave. Fuck a man who speaks differently. Fuck a man who speaks with purpose. Fuck a man who isn’t repeating a talking point at you. Fuck a man who uses the word “prodigious” or “fuckfisted” or “halcyon” in a way where you know exactly what he means. If you’re going to open your mouth, at the very least you should say something. (RT if you agree.)
Any Man in My @ Replies, without Exception: This rule is certainly going to sweep in people I care about IRL and online! I’ve made friends, work connections, and stirred romantic feelings online. But, I hate to inform you, that you should not fuck anyone in my @ mentions, without exception. If you are a man and you are writing me on Twitter, you are doing it wrong approximately 98.4% of the time. If a man is great IRL and but seems like a real dweeb online, trust your gut. You may be able to fuck this man—but do it with caution.
Men Who Are Doing Too Much: Men are constantly doing too much. They’re out in the streets making mountains out of molehills. Men are making sure that if you’re going to insult all men that you clarify that you are only talking about SOME MEN and SPECIFICALLY your ex so don’t you dare say that men are intimidated by standup comedians because I, a man, am 100% not and would be very comfortable dating a strong woman which is why I am writing you this EMAIL to let you KNOW that when you say “men are uncomfortable with women doing standup” I am NOT talking about you, no sir! YOU ARE VERY COMFORTABLE, as your email proves. Don’t fuck this man.
Men Who Think They’re Doing Enough: As outlined in point 3, men are doing too much. But, because men are multi-faceted treasures, they also think they are doing enough! Men are so willing to tell you how they respect women and are good to their moms. But, then, you meet their friend Dave. And Dave? Wow, he has an impressive vocabulary with regards to female anatomy and women’s general purpose. And you realize, as if you have been struck, that this man is not doing enough but he sure thinks he is. Don’t fuck a Dave apologist.
Men Who Won’t Listen to Your Bullshit: For years, without any real conscious consideration, I thought that my role, as a woman, was to listen about someone’s fantasy league while never outlining my own Bachelor-focused fantasy league. Don’t make my mistakes. Find a man who—although wholly uninterested in your opinions on how Twilight reflects on America and America reflects on Twilight—will carve out space to listen your random, unnecessarily gendered bullshit.
Men Who Won’t Write You Letters: This one might be me-specific, but if you love me PUT IT IN WRITING. I want it on the record in 2018.
Gliders: Does this man seem to glide through life as if untouched by its sorrow? Does he skim upon the ocean of emotion, without ever getting his feet wet? Do not fuck this man. As he has shielded himself from the realities of existence. So, too, will he one day shield himself from you when you become inconvenient, real, and sweaty.
Any Man Who Mentions His Age Like That’s Something Relevant: Unless you are a child entrepreneur, it is not relevant to mention your age pretty much ever. So many men in 2017 released statements wherein they used their age as an excuse. They were 95 (too old to be responsible for their actions!) or 42 (too young to know better—just a baby, really!). Find a man in your age bracket and let him be held accountable for his actions in 2018.
Tight Lips, Tight Purse: Men who won’t tell you how much they make are fucking you over. Wage transparency should be de rigueur in 2018.
Cultists: Anyone joining a cult of personality in 2018 is not to be trusted. Does this man defend the actions of his favorite celebrity/podcast monster/best friend without any end in sight? Get him out of your life.
This list will be ongoing, because men keep being alive in new and terrible ways.
Men Not to Fuck in 2k17
It took me a long time to write this - as opposed to last year when the list came fast and furious in a Nyquil-fueled haze. I tried to write it in December, and then January, and then I promised myself it’d be done by the 20th.
But for a brief moment in time, fucking felt so beside the point. If the US had elected a fascist, all bets were off. Fuck a hole in the wall, for all I care.
But do I want you fucking a man without a bed frame? No, of course not! I want more for you. And, if you don’t have principles in your bed, no way you’ll have them in the streets.
So here it is - my heteronormative as fuck list of men not to fuck. (All laws from 2016 are still in effect.)
1. Dweebs - Dweebs are bad. Full stop. Dweebs watched a lot of movies in the 90s that lionized people who were bullied and took it way too much to heart. I had a lot of relatives die as a kid but you don’t see me bringing it up every time I’m a dick to someone. I get someone called you a gay slur as a kid (you must, in this moment, emphasize that you are straighttttt), but that doesn’t a hate crime make. Dweebs are one intense Reddit thread away from starting on their journey to neo-nazism. Do not fuck.
2. Men with a Certain Style - If men were able to transfer the curse of the high-heeled shoe exclusively to women by commodifying sex, common sense tells us that the commodification of sex can move mountains. If you want to get a haircut that could be called “fashy” feel free to go for it, but know that you’ll be doing it with your dick in your hand.
3. Liars - Since America decided to let their racism take the wheel in the voting booth and elect a man who is not even charming enough to be called a “grifter,” your life is full up on lies. You straight up don’t have room in your skull for another lie. Move on.
4. Men Who Talk Too Much - “Too much” is a metric that every woman must decide for herself, but it must be decided. For me, “too much” has been a hard-forged definition hammered out over countless, pussy-drying trivia nights. If a man leans over me to give another man a Simpsons reference, this girl is out. You’ll hear no end of men in 2017 talking too much nonsense about nothing. Value your voice and save his by saying “bye” when you meet.
5. Men Who Consume but Do Not Produce - Consumption is not an identity. You can watch as many corny movies as you want but this does not a personality make. We turn to the ancient proverb: “If a Stepbrothers quote falls in the woods and no one is around it to hear it, does it constitute a joke?” No, it doesn’t. People should produce and consume in equal measure. It doesn’t matter so much what he produces - a good scrambled egg, art about men who kiss hats, a baseball blog - just produce SOMETHING.
6. Men without Unique Beliefs - I have three beliefs: 1. Everyone should join their local library, 2. Nicki Minaj is one of the best musical artists of my lifetime, and 3. If you can vote, you must vote. Now, some of these may be problematic or wrong, but they are my own. A man you fuck should have unique beliefs - not those he absorbed from his family or a football coach - but those he arrived at at his own. Whether or not you can live with said beliefs is up to you, but he should have some.
7. Irony Boys and Internet Men - Irony is the haven of the removed. Irony is the ultimate shelter - are you really saying something? We’ll never know. You could be kidding using a rhetorical device that shields you from ever taking a firm stance in anything, including a relationship! LOL.
8. Men Without an Emotional Vocabulary - The ultimate in adulthood accessories is the ability to say clearly and honestly, “This is how I feel and why.” We’re in a miasma of shit in 2017 and playing “what did he mean in this text” won’t be cute any longer. State your feelings upfront and, preferably, on the phone.
9. Men Who Don’t Read - Here, I am not talking about the illiterate, so don’t even try to be cute. Illiteracy is a complicated issue. Reading is not. Can you read? OK, do it. Pick up a book and pick it up fast. Every day you’ll face a president who has maaaybe skimmed a book. You want a man who reads books. A John Irving? Sure. A John Grisham? Fine. A Nora Roberts? Fuck him already.
10. La La Land Lovers and the Happily Ignorant - Who in the fuck is La La Land for in the year of our lord 2017? Probably someone who has avoided all news since 2015. You, as a woman who fucks men, cannot be ignorant. You’re buying an IUD, you’re lighting your phone on fire with calls to your representatives, and even your mom is worried about The World at Large. You do not have time! In 2015, sure, you might have had time to explain feminism in bars (I myself, took the bronze in “Patience with the Question ‘What About Men’s Rights?’”). But no longer. You have to get a man who is already up to speed.
11. Men without Plans - My mother told me to always have a backup plan. She has three different kinds of licenses to sell things - insurance, real estate, and a third thing. Mothers know. You have to be prepared for anything. In 2017, you find a man with one solid plan because you know you have 10.
12. The Proud/Never Wrongs - Pride goes before you don’t fall into my bed. Those too proud to be wrong will never be brave enough to be right. 2017 is a year to dare to be right and therefore risk being wrong. There are so many people who will be aggressive and insistent that they are right. Don’t fuck those without humility in 2017.
13. The Vain - A man who lives in a gold leaf place is going to be president. In 2017, I can’t give a shit about optics. (NOTE: Vanity is not the same as giving a fuck. A lack of hygiene and style does not a lack of vanity make.)
14. The Unlabeled - So many people in 2017 are going to face true strife due to the labels applied to them. If applying a label to your relationship is a bridge too far for the man you’re fucking, get the fuck away from him now.
15. The Conspiracy Theorist - No explanation. Video below.
This list will be ongoing, because men keep being alive in new and terrible ways.
101: MRA
Intro:
MRAs aka Men’s Rights Activists, generally a mix of Canadian and US men and women, are the most “palatable” of the online misogynists. By labeling themselves as “activists,” they adopt a thin veneer of respectability, although their “activism” on behalf of men has proven to be basically non-existent or, in some cases, an outright scam. MRAs (who consider themselves at the forefront of the Men’s Right’s Movement, or MRM and in some cases MHRM - Men’s Human Rights Movement) espouse a platform that includes such issues as protections for the rights of fathers, protection against what they view as widespread fake rape allegations, and increasing male enrollment in higher education. In actuality, little to no work is actually done on these fronts and the majority of the “activism” boils down yelling at women online and publicly accessible memes.
Heavy Hitters:
Paul Elam, the founder of A Voice for Men (AVfM), was once the star, and in many ways, the face of the MRA movement. He has a history of violent rhetoric that he made attempts to tone down in light of increased media attention. In recent years his star has fallen, after negative press in the wake of the MRA conference in Detroit in 2014 and MRA in-fighting. (Particularly damning was a thoroughly researched 2015 Buzzfeed article, entitled “How Men’s Rights Leader Paul Elam Turned Being a Deadbeat Dad into a Moneymaking Movement.”) And in recent months, Paul Elam has moved his efforts away from AVfM (the leading MRA site for most of the 2000s) entirely. He has since switched his focus to An Ear for Men, purported to be a men’s counseling service by Elam.
The Honey Badger Brigade, headed by Karen Straughen, is a group of female MRAs. They, too, were at the 2014 conference, and were deeply entrenched in the MRA movement and AVfM. Straughen was considered one of the leading voices for men’s rights issues via her YouTube channel. But they recently have switched their focus (as evidenced by stylistic changes on their website and Twitter), pursuing newly converted anti-feminists in the wake of Gamergate (to be covered later). The Honey Badger Brigade has been covered by the press.
JudgyBitch aka Janet Bloomfield is another female MRA who was prominent in the movement at its height and attended the ill-fated 2014 Detroit conference. She runs her own blog, JudgyBitch.com, which carries the following lede: “The radical notion that women are adults.” She also serves as the “Director of Social Media” for AVfM, and has been banned from Twitter multiple times for harassment and abuse. (She has a bizarre history of creating fake tweets and attacking prominent feminists, most notably Jessica Valenti, on the basis of these fictional tweets. This is a practice that other misogynist corners of the internet have been forced to call her out on.) Janet Bloomfield has also received mainstream attention (including an out-of-place appearance on The Doctors, accessible via Bloomfield’s YouTube page).
Disturbing Pieces of History:
The École Polytechnique Massacre occurred in 1989, when Marc Lepine entered a classroom in Montreal and shot 28 people, including 14 women, saying that he was “fighting feminism.” At the end of the deadly massacre, he shot himself. As a result of the massacre, stricter gun control laws were enacted in Canada. This event still serves as a talking point for MRAs.
Thomas James Ball serves as a well-known touchpoint for the MRA movement as it exists today, even in mainstream publications. In 2011, he self-immolated on the steps of a courthouse in Keene, NH to protest a custody agreement with his ex-wife and, later, back payment on child support. He detailed his grievances with the court in a 40-page memoir and 15-page letter sent to his local paper, The Keene Sentinel. At his death, Thomas Ball was a member of Fathers & Families (now The National Parents Organization).
Anders Behring Breivik killed 77 people in Norway on July 22nd, 2011. He set off a car bomb in Oslo and shot children at a summer camp on the island of Utøya. In a 1,518-page manifesto he released after the attacks, he revealed himself to be motivated by a mix of far-right ideologies, including misogynistic and racist ideas. (More on the links between the misogyny of the internet and neo-nazism later.) David Futrelle, of We Hunted the Mammoth, highlighted the misogyny of Breivik’s manifesto on Shakesville. The MRA movement has tried to distance themselves from the attacks officially, but Breivik continues to serve as a touchpoint for online misogyny.
reupping on this thing I wrote because it is the anniversary of The École Polytechnique Massacre
Episode 24: “Cool Email Signatures”
yells are back
Today’s guest comic is from cartoonist, stamp maker and cat owner TYNE LOWE
Our heroine, shameless in her New Balance sneakers for a night of dancing.
confidence all day every day
Episode 27: “Dress Better”
Hello, another one.
Episode 25: “Making Plans with Friends”
It is a show about yelling. I yell. It is in the name.
Episode 24: “Open Office”
Hello, please watch this.
Episode 2: “Cold Cuts”
New episode!
Episode 1: “Meet the Guys”
I made this as well.
Hi, my web series is back. My voice is still loud. I’m still myself.
xoxo.
Dating Resolutions for 2k16
http://brightestyoungthings.com/articles/dating-resolutions-for-2k16.htm
Men, you can take your yelling here now. Thx.
Chill It Out in 2016
Open letter to all the men who have written me to tell me that I’m a hot pile of garbage (or, more succinctly, a cunt):
OK?
Feel free to continue to not fuck me (didn’t ask, don’t want it) and continue to fuck or not fuck whoever you usually fuck or don’t fuck.
Feel free to continue to not own a bed or only read books by white guys or whatever it is that you are currently doing that upset you about my list. Feel free to keep doing that.
This list will not become law in 2016, so feel free to relax.
Or, continue to not do that thereby proving that there is no creature on earth more sensitive than you.
EDIT: Two women have written to me, so this is also for them.