dont follow unless i told you this url

hi my names valentine and this is my personal. dont follow me if i didnt tell you this url! also try to like my posts if u can pls!

[katuufriend]

broe i rlly dont know how to add a read more to these things anymore so im SORY if this appears as a giant text on anyones dash ahakskjdjs (self harm n caps tw)

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aaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA FUCK Fucking hell fuck. fuck. everything sucks and my sister is suffering sm and i cant so SHIT FOR HER and i HATE IT so fucking muchchehkahdakdnamdkdkbs i feel like the worst fuckinn sister on the whole planet right now i just sont know what the fuck can even be done i fucking hate everything gos DAMNITTTT GOD DAMNIT!!!!!!!!!! and i have No one to fucking go to ever ever ever i cant tell anyone about jack shit (excpet for the poor souls who might still see this on their dash i hope u forget who this is oop) and i have no one to go to for help for her or for me or forr andakdkallsabsialaksk fucking christ. all i can fucking do is hurt myself in stupid fucking ways that someone might ask about later but i have no response!!!!!!! god SHIT i hate everything ao muchhhchchchshdhd i hust want her to be ok and feel better and not be so lonely im going to beat up all of herr friends until they stayyyyyyyysydhdsjjdks fuck she deserves so much better i hate this whole fucking planet and i hope it all burns to the goddamn ground!!!!!!!!! F U C K SHIT GODDAMNIT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK

[katuufriend]

lol coming back to this blog Again for some. desperate venting haaa 

ive been so inactive on my main blog that i havent mentioned this at all really but . last summer my older sister was having some health problems and eventually we found out she had a mass in her chest, and then after even more agonizing waiting found out it was due to a certain kind of lymphoma.. things were very scary for a while and she ended up being transferred to a bigger city hospital 2 hours away and was there for a while, treated w some chemo and then came home and continued chemo for like 3 months here. shes only 22 so it was nuts, but we were told its a very curable and treatable type of cancer and she was eventually in remission

then last month she started having problems again.. she didnt want to go to the doctor for them and was putting off going but eventually things got bad again so she went and we found out another mass started growing again! bc our luck is so amazing aaaafgfdlfkjgds.. so now they want to try a new type of chemo thats supposed to help relapsed kinds of this cancer, but it took forever to get approved and in the mean time they gave her some other treatment. also she was in the hospital for like 3 weeks bc of slow shitty insurance things and we couldnt visit her for the last two weeks there bc of covid aaaahaaa fuck. 

she finally got home like 2 weeks ago but she has to wait to get the new treatment that should hopefully help and shes been . doing much worse the past few days and is suffering a lot and it sucks so fucking much and i jsut wish she could get the treatment already but she has to wait until next wednesday!!! im so sad for her like this isnt fucking fair at all aaaaaaaaaa our family has already dealt with enough i just want us and her to have a fucking break pls godddd... ive been helping her w anything and evreything and trying to keep her spirits up but i just wnat to scream and curl up in a ball bc she doesnt deserve this at ALL she deserves so much better it makes me so fucking sad. i dont want to do my homework or study or anything like i dont CARE i jsut want to be with my sister :(((  

i hope nobody reads this but if u do then thanks lol and if ur religious pls pray for us i guess.. shit sucks!!!! 

[katuufriend]

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i wasnt sure how to do a read more on mobile so sorry if tjis method is broken or something haa..

havent used this blog in forever but i fwel so fucking lost and alone and i dont want to vent to anyone cus everyone i know is already going through it fuuuuck

realy felt like i had it together lately but ive recently got this bad habit that i think could get me sent Somewhere haahhahaha (psych w*rd haha) but ive never been and i dont want to start now. and i want to get a therapist or something but my sister needs one more than me and im aaaaaa fucking fuck im so pissed and frustrated

im sorry if ur reading this or even eemember whose blog this is HA pls go about ur wvening i have legit like no where else to post and i feel like im gonna lose my mind

[katuufriend]

i feel so sick an want to vent about so much but i . dont want to anywhere and i cant..

[katuufriend]

[katuufriend]

i misssssss my mom

[katuufriend]

hi ths is vals (wear/yplanet) personal i changed it slightly from katuu//kid cus im have Fear 

[katuufriend]

[katuufriend]

@goldeunbi ily and im proud of u too 💓💓 i have my first of four tests tomoro wish me luck..and good luck w the ones u have left too!! im feelin better now today was jus an off day :^p

[katuufriend]

bro i wanan mcdie school is killg me

[katuufriend]

ok well.u ever have those friends who dont giv a shit abt u or how ur mental illness affects u and are jus like "why u so upset lol" at Everything u do. Hah.Haha i wanna kill him

[katuufriend]

my moms bday is friday....she woulda been 52. tbh i cant tell if im ok w ever talkin about everythin w her at ths point cus i jus Havent.fridays gona be weird

[katuufriend]

HI i feel overwhelmed and like a mess and like i dunno who i am or wat im going to ever do in my life. fffjfjfjfjfdjdjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjf

[katuufriend]

hay this is still valentines personal which was bigsadcat i jus changed the url cus Fear , katuu=cat in palauan (cute rite) so ya thts why this is it now :p 

[katuufriend]

im rlly excited for cap3 because captain america is one of tje few things ive held onto for more than 6 months, and now its been 2 years...but i am. rlly sad about the spoilers iv heard regarding the Unnecessary Straight Relationship and im jus hopin it wont ruin it for me ;-;

[katuufriend]

when ur all anxious for getting up in the morning at the rite time and end up getting up at 3am and 10 minutes before ur alarm... .__. thanks body

[katuufriend]

my irl friends could honestly not give any LESs of a shit about me:..they dont care about me at all and dont even fcking pretend to!!!whT thefuck ever i dont even care anymore lol