Soulsborne-focused blog along with personal stuff. Art and "serious" theory+reference posts are at @katyahina, this one is for reblogs and more casual posts. Also see various links and contacts in pinned!
(My) tierlist of the "this character is that character" Soulsborne theories! (Explanations and links for the confirmations or debunks of the theories under cut!)
I felt like analysing these! This fandom has a LOT! I've probably still forgotten at least a few despite trying to remember as many as possible!
What I've learned is that there really is no one rule for treating all of them and each should be analysed individually! I'd say that if the scales absolutely MUST tip to one side though it is that all characters should be treated as separate people even though it creates nobodies at the 'OC with a prompt' level sometimes. +Fun fact: developers of Archtrones, a very ambitious and high-budget Dark Souls mode (that is essentially Dark Souls 2.5) DO use this as their main philosophy and it is coming out spectacularly!
Explanations per-tier under cut!
Canon or canon to SOME extent:
Zandroe and Zinder ARE the same character in Japanese original, only known by one name: 欲の神ザンドロ (God of Greed, Zandoro)! I am not sure if the decision to split the character in two was agreed upon during localisation or was an honest mistake... but in both cases, why not the same God with two "faces", like in Elden Ring (which took a LOT of inspiration from Dark Souls 2)?
Pharis/Evlana and Durgo were covered in this ( x ) post earlier! Durgo definitely fell the victim of development process hassle but I think the cancelled phantom doesn't contradict her lore. In fact, improves it!
Now to the simplest ones! Aldia's presence was partially omitted by a localisation choice, but he is definitely that Scholar that taught Lothric in secrecy! Here ( x ) is a good video on it! The lore says that there were only three Sealers of Anor Londo. One is Ingward, another is Yulva and... one of Lautrec's companions wears the same robe. Ingward is also the only Sealer that didn't abandon his duties, so this all checks!
Revenger and Heolstor literally have the same lore and same premise: ( x )! The only exception being that in Vanilla Elden Ring the Revenger is left resting in peace (only his mourning causing constant rains over Weeping Peninsula) and in Nightreign he inherits the "Night". Elden Ring and Nightreign do not have different worldbuildings, only different events after the Shattering!
I DEFINITELY believe it:
Geri is the Old Monk theory by @forbidlore : ( x ). I consider it to be yet THE most seamless theory amongst those that do not feel just straight up confirmed!
Renna is the Snowy Crone, compiled the best by @val-of-the-north : ( x )! I feel like the thought crossed many already due to name convenience, Snowflake Crest of the Carian Princess that the Lazuli use not being able to attribute to Ranni seamlessly and 'the Maiden, the Mother and the Crone' archetype laying perfectly with the 'Three Sisters'! Linking this post because it covers most of the details!
Queen of Venn and the Lost Sinner being the same character is a classic at this point! It ties in how Izalith and Gwyn had relationship at some point, for example:
Izalith, that Lost Sinner is in kinship with, likewise had Moonlight affinity (hinted at by her grey skin) and thus both fall for the "jealous moon", whereas Iron King is in kinship with Gwyn. It narratively makes more sense that the history of doomed Moon and Sun lovers repeats itself with Queen of Venn and Iron King rather than Lost Sinner being a separate third element! Lost Sinner also unleashed the Old Chaos due to her envy too; Flexile Sentry, that served Venn, are found sealed behind torch mechanism in Eleum Loyce. Honestly, this theory is basically like Geri being the Old Monk; if it walks like a duck, quaks like a duck... I'd rather cover the counter-argument some people might have about how Lost Sinner allegedly "can't be a female character": ( x ) ( x )
I believe this is Gwyn's mother rather than his unseen hypothetical single wife. True, she is found in the spots associated with the four children of the Sun: Catacombs for Gwyndolin, Sunlight Altar for Nameless King, the chapel where Reah was praying for Gwynevere and the unused placement in Firelink Shrine ( x ) for Filianore! But she is always holding one baby with the sword! Being mother of Gwyn would basically put her in the position of Holy Mary, so her being crowned and revered as relative of children of the Sun would not conflict with it either!
In Hemwick, we only fight two main Witches that just keep resurrecting one another, but the statue implies there were three! lmao Londor sisters dfgggfdg At the same time, Rune Workshop tool is found in Hemwick Mansion's basement, on a bleeding corpse of a regular Yharnam Hunter surrounded by the paper sheets ( x )! The statue behind Memory Altar where we memorize the Runes has a surgical stitch on its forehead whereas Hemwick's denizens commonly have traces of surgery on their foreheads too. I believe the witches have been experimenting with placing literal eyes inside their brain by blunt, surgical methods, and Caryll is revered as a martyr of this "practice" by the Old Hunters. Perhaps placing eyes on her brain so bluntly was what allowed her to perceive the inhuman sounds of the Great Ones and thus scribe them? RIP the random Yharnam Hunter bro though, he fell the victim of experiments
And with that, the mouthfulls ended! Fina and Nehma are both associated with love and with Estus Flasks! I mean, an Estus Flask is created from the Firekeeper's Soul, which is also the thing Lautrec tried to bring to Fina!
A solid theory!:
Hanleth and Gwynevere are both associated with her brand of blessing! Like, Hanleth is 祝福の神ハナーフ (God of Blessing, Hanaaf) and Gwynevere's Divine Blessings are 女神の祝福! In Dark Souls 2, Divine Blessings are also handed in abundance to us by the Milfanito, who were clearly inspired by Gwynevere upon being created by Nito, similarly to how Agdayne was inspired by Gwyn! Similarly, Faraam and Nameless King are both known as God of War and are associated with the lions! The name ring from Dark Souls 2 mentions how the Gods we are already familiar with are known by the other names in Drangleic which always opens some possibilities!
The blond baby that the Queen is holding in Cainhurst's portraits being Alfred is also a classic, and would make for a great irony. Like, let's say Healing Church's Executioners spared the children and instead raised them within their walls. Fauxsefka is another likely candidate for it! Djura's mentioned third companion is one of the biggest lore confusions. Considering that Bloodstarved Beasts are directly associated with Ashen Blood plague that was also spread across Old Yharnam and that Djura's Apprentice fights besides one of them I don't see why not! Maybe they were a pair and left together (if not a hetgem couple since Bloodstarving Beasts seem to be 'female')! One retained his human appearance but went blood-drunk, another became a beast!
True to some extent / with nuance?:
Nahr Alma is to Priscilla what Quella is to Gwyndolin: ( x ). I am not super sure that they are just how the legends remembered and distorted Priscilla and Gwyndolin! I'd rather believe that these two were discarded or related in the same way as Trina was severed from Miquella while being also the same person! It is a yes but also a no!
I've been going back and forth about Furtive Pygmy and Manus for a while. Manus seems to be way too important and powerful to be just a powerful human, not only emanating the Abyss itself but also splitting in at least five powerful beings by Dark Souls 2's time! But also Furtive Pygmy is meant to be 'literally just some guy' erased from the history... Manus, having his name spoken by Gough and having a grave in Oolacile, is not necessarily as forgotten as you'd think. He also has one half of the pendant that seems to make up a heart with another never-seen half. I think he might be 'the Dark Lord' Gwyn feared being born, so, a reincarnation of (the) Furtive Pygmy rather than just the same guy. Gwyn might have clocked him out instantly and even trade him for Filianore to have a better control over him. Manus already reincarnated as four "humans" and one angel, he could have done that before! He is the same person but also not! Maybe Furtive Pygmy even was reincarnated as two people and Manus is one of them, but the other never seen person is one having the second pendant's half? You can see this lore question just spawns MORE questions, so it is safer that I "choose to not choose"!
With Nameless King and Grynn I think they can be the same character! Dark Souls universe is slipping into Elden Ring's one and seems like it's been going on for as long as the Night Rains were falling! At the same time, Grynn could be equivalent character, same as how Irina from Dark Souls 3 and Irina from Elden Ring are equivalent characters! Like we are still not 100% sure who were the ancient Gods that Fulghor worshipped! Grynn could be our Nameless King or he could be a character just like Nameless King but in this lore! They even still can share the name!
With Irina and Hyetta, I believe they are the exact same deal as Devin and Darian; the twins of two bodies but one soul! Darian is Gold and Devin is Silver, but Irina is Greater Will's vision whereas Hyetta is Frenzied Flame's vision! They are the same because they share a soul, but not the same personality and not the same affinity!
Doll and Maria seem to hit a similar situation; when one is asleep, another is awake and vice-versa! Doll feels direct connection with Maria's feelings, too, feeling relieved when we kill Maria. However, I would rather compare their situation with Revenant! Revenant remembers being Chloe herself at first, then recollects being the doll named Daphne, and then comes to term with being "reborn" as a new being entirely yet carrying on the lives of Chloe and Daphne both! That makes her similar with Executor, also two being reborn as one, but Plain Doll is animated by a part of Maria's soul. But also not JUST Maria's, as she experiences living as just the doll. It feels like a very anime trope thing but... I mean, they ARE Japanese games...
Just okay... No strong opinion:
I do not have much to say about almost all of them! These theories do not have any glaring contradictions at all, but at the same time do not contribute anything either unless you imagine them to! (well okay Ornstein becoming NK's drake DOES contribute a lot) They have a strong 'I don't know what to do with this obscure character otherwise' energy which is absolutely fair!
I will only comment on a couple! I believe King of Stormhawks just was for the Stormlord what Serosh was for Godfrey! Beasts and Birds duality is a big theme in Elden Ring and Godfrey descends from the Highlanders and was already culturally associated with the beasts! It is not like Marika caught Serosh somewhere in the wild and forced him on Godfrey! Rather, Godfrey accepted him to turn on the new leaf when Serosh was already a part of his culture. Serosh is the king of Beasts and King of Stormhawks is the king of Birds! Land and Sky. They are equivalent creatures, whereas Godfrey (or rather, Hoarah Loux) and Stormlord are equivalent people! Stormveil is also very very very much built for humans...
As for Joseph, it kinda works but he is in NO way different from the enemy NPCs known as 'Izzy's Follower' ( x )! Djura's Ally and Djura's Apprentice wear Charred Hunter Set same as Joseph, but so do Izzy's Followers! What makes Joseph special besides being a friendly summon? He doesn't even use any of the Powder Kegs weapons like the other two that we know of! It can work, I just think Joseph is simply friendly variant of Izzy's Followers, same as how Queen Killer is friendly variant of roaming Executioners and Leo was going to be a friendly variant of Vileblood hunters in the dungeons!
I am not convinced:
Sky Witch and Maiden in Black not really lining up by @val-of-the-north again: ( x )! An obscure character that we never get to meet is still a staple even by Nightreign's times, it is just one of the earliest traditions by Fromsoft in their Soulsborne works!
Queen of Lothric being Rosaria seems to be contradicted from the timeline standpoint! By the time of Lothric refusing to link the Fire Aldrich already was the Lord of Cinder prior, and Aldrich was burnt as a big goop, and he became a big goop while eating people that included his children WITH Rosaria (with only Anri and Horace surviving)... It would make Rosaria stay in the Church of the Deep, then moving to marry Oceiros, then leaving him and going BACK to Church of the Deep, right? I mean maybe marriage with Oceiros was so bad that even returning to now derelict madcult no longer seemed so bad but I think this is not the implied character. Rather, Fromsoft wrote three known descendants of Gwynevere each meeting their own awful end, with their own respective awful men.
Nahr Alma and Caitha have slight point of connection through blood, Darkness affinity and Titchy Gren using Caitha's Chime for sure. I am only not convinced because like I stated earlier, Nahr Alma alludes to Priscilla instead! Had this not been the case I'd be much more sold on this theory! As for Galib, he sticks out a lot because the Old Ones in Dark Souls all otherwise have their names erased from history! Gwyn, Seath, Manus and Izalith are never just addressed by the other name and just the titles instead which would make Nito break the pattern. I think Galib would rather be something like Nito's child, or a creation! Maybe even a separated part (again, think of Trina being severed from Miquella).
I don't think Magerold is Thomas because by all means, Magerold then would have snapped upon being aggroed and unleashed his sick Pyromancy on us! Magerold doesn't use Pyromancy at all. Moreover, Thomas is so vicious that even if when we block his magic use he simply pulls out the sword when all other magic users are completely helpless in this situation! Magerold, on the other hand, folds like a laundry when we try to kill him... That would not happen if Thomas was his second self in any way. Think of Navlaan; even when we are attacking the "good one", aggroing triggers the "bad one" to come out just out of self-defence anyway!
Gloam-Eyed Queen IS connected with the Gelmir's cult ( x ), that much is true! Both Daedicar and GEQ also gave births to homunculi serpentine children! But also the legendary Empyrean that slayed Gods who predated Marika and have lost her power to Maliketh doesn't click too well with just a woman from the cult that enjoyed the chance to be something bigger (and being nasty homewrecker) that also got executed. GEQ seems to be on the same level of importance as Velka and even have the same role as her; this legendary figure that served the titular big God arguing with nature, then had a fight with this God that got defeated and banished off-scenes but continued haunting the narrative. Three-way identity of Marika as opposed to duality might somewhat explain Trina's strange nature and work with Marika removing Destined Death from the Elden Ring upon becoming part of the Elden Ring herself but again: GEQ seems to have too much history of her own. I'd rather compare Trina and Miquella duality with that of Maris vs Elden Beast; a 'hidden' aspect of Gold. Trina is only drawn to death by coincidence due to where she got discarded to! Otherwise, she is sleep, arcane and mystery!
Izzy and Archibald likewise fall for the character who seems very important but never shown, just to give more organic lore to the things we use! Izzy has such a huge grip on the minds of the Hunters that many followers ventured in the Loran's Dungeons just to find whatever "enlightenment" they found there! Suspicious Beggar, on the other hand, is just a commoner that fell for the beastly urges but can't confide in anyone because instead of help he'd get a bullet in his head. This doesn't click well with the legendary spitter-in-the-Church's face! If anything, considering he does transform into a Loran electric beast, he could have been one of the followers of Izzy that found the "insight" but fell helpless rather than empowered by it. Although my point here is that much like Henryk, Beggar has direct descent from Loran but that is only slightly relevant to the conversation!
Archibald... Well, seems like School of Mensis simply gave him the research platform that overall Healing Church denied him! School of Mensis has a habit of picking up what Laurence dropped in general ( x ), Archibald's interest in studying beasts' bolt magic could likewise scare them! Paarl is likely a beast provided to Archibald for research. School of Mensis provided unreal amount of prisoners and then just kidnapped commoners to their mad scientists, would bringing one beast really change anything if it meant more advanced weapons for their kidnappers? Do remember that some Yahar'gul Hunters use Archibald's weapons and Yahar'gul's Kidnappers drop Bolt Paper, and all Archibald-related items are found in Yahar'gul! ...I am rambling when I could've just said it seems counter-intuitive to give different names to Archibald and Paarl anyways, but moving on!
I won't believe it at a GUNPOINT:
Queen of Lothric is not Gwynevere by @val-of-the-north : ( x ). Again. I agree with everything in this post! It is as detailed of a debunking as it can get. Val also incorporated all this in the fandom's wiki and had to fight for letting Queen have her own page with someone constantly undoing his edits until admin stepped in hahahahhh. To be honest, clashing characterisation convinces me even more than all the localisation contrivances or how odd it would be to marry the same guy twice. Queen of Lothric appears to be inspired by the theories about Gwynevere marrying Seath, similarly to how Midir is inspired by the theories about Kalameet being corrupted by the Abyss! Besides, the three descendants reflect the three aspects associated with Gwynevere's history: Dancer carries fire affinity like Flann, Queen is like Gwynevere, and Rosaria reflects the dark aspect ( x ) ( x )!
Caitha is Nito's daughter, mother of Filianore and overall her own character by @val-of-the-north : ( x ). I also want to add other observations from myself pointing towards her association with water ( x ), as well as her working with Seath ( x ) ( x ). I am absolutely stunlocked by how much lore she has on her own, that would be hard to marry with Velka's entirely! I am more inclined to believe that Caitha and Velka have the same dynamic as Maliketh and GEQ, where the "subservient" one literally took the job of the "rebellious" one. Or, perhaps, they just mirror each other: Velka willingly walked towards the Dark, whereas Caitha, born a MUCH darker deity than her, did what she could to walk toward the Light. Caitha and Queen of Lothric are the ones who are very similar(ly extreme pushovers), though! Literally the same personality...
Grana is a member of Carians family: ( x )! Her name was edited-out but by all means, she is shown to be a Carian and Witch Conspectus is obsolete by now but we meet at least two distinct members!
Oedon is a child of Flora that was able to grow into "adulthood" despite having been aborted: ( x ). I have also accounted to why the area in the game might be called Tomb of Oedon too: ( x )! Oedon's nature and origins is a mouthful, I know... I should probably make a separate coherent post already. But like I said, Flora and Oedon are very alike Kos and the Orphan! This brings a very 'history repeats itself' narrative, but... which Soulsborne game does NOT?
I've already explained what Gloam-Eyed Queen seems to be above, so addressing why she is not Metyr would be redundant! I do not have any significant counter-argument against Solaire becoming a worm besides "just" not seeing it happening at all. Although Dark Souls 3 is basically the 'everyone you loved died or faced worse fate the Videogame', Miyazaki placed a lot of significance on Solaire as being THE ray of sunshine to counter both his settings being too depressing and people thinking he sees religiously devoted characters as evil. I think if he could keep ONE character intact from Dark Souls 1, it would be Solaire!
Nanaya being Shabriri and tricking Midra into going mad through having him suppress the madness feels very convoluted! I have written what I could conclude about their story here ( x ) already! Nanaya and Midra both faced some persecution by the Hornsent's religious authorities as he is descendant of the Shamans and she is a hornless Hornsent ( x ), to the point even their servants were badly bullied!
Retconned/Debunked later:
Forgotten Madman and Bloodletting Beast appear to be the generic backup plan Fromsoft always has just in case if they never get to make the DLC! You might have noticed that especially with how many loose ends were cut in the base Elden Ring, to the point some DLC choices came as a surprise! Thankfully, Bloodborne handled the issue more elegantly! Whereas Forgotten Madman being lost in the Dungeons with Arcane-imbued sword and a Choir's phantasm and a Bloodletting Beast being headless pointed towards Ludwig and Laurence well enough, DLC confirmed that instead Ludwig died as a beast rather than a lost human and beast form of Laurence had NOTHING in common with Bloodletting Beast's type!
I do not believe that Forgotten Madman shows "Ludwig in the past" either since Ludwig designed his swords after the pattern of the Moonlight sword he found! He would have no reason to continue roaming the Dungeons to the point of becoming a bum when he already has seen the 'guidance' and was inspired to become the "righteous" chief of the Church's Hunters by it. And, again: Forgotten Madman is a Choir's member, and Choir was founded after Maria's death, based on her research and reusing Research Hall's faculty for it! It is implied that Ludwig died when Choir's Orphanage was still Research Hall!
Havel the Rock was a Giant, not a random NPC we've met by @val-of-the-north : ( x ). Thank you Val for like, half of this post at this rate fdshfdshfd Late discovery in the scheme of fandom's history, but a necessary one!
Vileblood Drifter Leo was also a later discovery and is a separate character from Bloody Crow!
Leo was meant to be a Vileblood summon in the Dungeons ( x )! In the end, Leo's face data with dimmed, pale collapsed reddish eyes and platinum hair, sits in the files as unused data! His appearance influenced how Bloody Crow would be drawn at least partially though.
As for the last ones, Elden Ring SoTE both confirmed that the one who fought Placidusax into terrible wounds was an ancient Drake Bayle and not Godfrey and that Fia could not be Fortissax! Fia being a Tarnished already caused some difficulties for the theory, but thanks to Florissax we can see what a """human""" form of the Ancient Dragon would really look like! It is not a regular humanin any way! Even if we get generous and consider the human built NPC base under the dragonic transformation ( x ), the human base of Florissax still has her grey skin and white hair! Fortissax would not translate into a very pale frail white blue-eyed blonde even by this logic, especially being a black dragon! SoTE provided some consistency on the topic that Fia defies no matter how we slice it!
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Oh man, it turned into a bit of a masterpost rather than just some flow of headcanons and opinions... At least it helped me to put everything in one place and articulate why Forgotten Madman being Ludwig is just not correct past the Old Hunters DLC. (I care about this topic very much)
Would you guys have different placements for this type of theories and why?
Where is it specified that Gwyndolin is blind? It’s literally the first time I’m seeing this theory. Or is it just a hc of yours?
Oh, sorry for the confusion, this is not stated directly! But also... nothing in these games is? Personally, it is how the eyes are treated in Dark Souls 3:
Whereas Gwyndolin's face was not rendered more than necessarily in Dark Souls 1, in 3 they not only grew up but also got their eyes modelled! You can see the eyes are 'blind', missing any pupils!
To preface the possible confusion: this is not Aldrich! Aldrich is the black goop that pilots Gwyndolin's body that is only halfway-eaten! Ingame model omits it by hiding it with a very large gown but the art makes it more apparent:
Unfortunately, Gwyndolin is a Snickers bar. You are not yourself when you are hungry I guess dhdfsdsdf
Also seeing how Lorian's eye texture is rendered for comparison, I really do not think Gwyndolin's eyes are like this because of Aldrich! Compare clearly collapsed pupil, or perhaps a cataract, with an eye that looks as if never had a pupil to begin with!
For fairness' sake I want to cower being Seath's child as an argument! It is worth to note that Seath has three other children whose eyes are alright:
*Shira's being Seath's daughter is not instantly on the surface, but she calls herself 'daughter of the Duke and descendant of Gods'! Seath is a 外戚 which means he is an in-law and was married to a female relative of Gwyn at some point! Had to happen very long time ago since Shira went together with Filianore. Shira has white hair on her concept art and same hair as Yorshka's in the game; both are correct as Gwyndolin also changes hair color from DS1's grey (Gwyn's) to DS3's white ("moonlight" hair)!
Buuuuuuut? Gwyndolin could be the only Seath's child with some biological gender differences!
It is implied that Gwyndolin was either born biologically male or is metaphor for an intersexual child whose parents simply felt inclined to "pick" a gender and the one they chose ended up not aligning with Gwyndolin in the later life as they've learned more about themselves! Him being given Reversal Ring implies the former, ie "Gwyndolin was able to perform the so-called 'female' actions because of this ring"!
Maybe they've got stronger facial structure and lost their breasts due to no longer using this power! At the same time, he had a rather masculine voice despite having been high on his Moon estrogen by DS1's times. It can go both ways.
MY POINT IS! I get an impression that not being born strictly biologically female AND having Moonlight affinity might unfortunately conflict with each other! Heck, Seath is a male Dragon with Moonlight affinity and he is very disabled in multiple ways! So maybe Gwyndolin also had unfortunate disabilities conflicting with their body? Whereas Sun is very malleable (look at Nameless King vs Gwynevere), Moon is TOO darn demanding!
I also want to address that Gwyndolin and Priscilla were the early blueprint of the same doomed siblings as Messmer and Melina! And, coincidentally, with other similarities, Messmer is also blind:
He was born with a single cursed eye devoid of Grace's light, which is how Base Serpent that lives in lightless space was able to curse him! He had that eye replaced with Marika's Seal and Winged Serpent was placed on his body to further restrict Base Serpent! Messmer now can only see through Winged Serpent's eyes (though nothing even says his birth eye was a seeing one?)
I know "blueprint" doesn't mean characters have to be treated with 1:1 accuracy, but just think about it! The character who is born with something conflicting and prompting their parents to perform a rather cruel urgent """healthcare""" that also has living snakes as a part of their body? Gwyndolin might be seeing through his snakes as well, in fact, similarly to Messmer!
Heck, what if Gwyndolin was born without snakes as well? But again, if Seath having tentacles for legs is of any indication, Gwyndolin had very weak legs so if anything the snakes were a more functional replacement rather than a liability?
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Moral of the story is that you can urgently treat your child's physical liabilities without assigning them a gender restriction and then burdening them with a heavy duty as you just leave to ruin everything? Sounds like a solid life lesson I guess fdhdfhdfsdf Sorry for sidetracking as much as I have but the more I think about it the more I believe it!
One: I'M FINALLY LESS OF A CHICKEN ABOUT BEING NONBINARY! HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!!
Shut UPPPP this meme format is yet to be beaten fdshfhd Watch me to almost never address it again because on the one hand it is draining to explain myself to strangers of "justify" why some gendered terms or clothes are still okay for me and on the other hand I am reclusive when it comes to seeking the help of the community. I simply dislike most of the people. Like a cat.
It's been a while. Many years, even. My biggest problem was consistently getting too close to the people that hyped me up as "the only woman they've met that was not callous, shallow and egotistical" or instilled deep sense of "deserting an army" if I turned out to be not a woman. In retrospective I am not sure why I thought it was ever a good idea to sacrifice so much of my comfort just to 'prove' something with self as an 'example' to the people that already decided they hated women. Or have radfemish views on them.
It still takes some getting used to to remember I am no longer personally included in the discussions about women. And getting used to to the sense of feeling deeply judged and distrusted, or pitied. But I should start the path to no longer caring what other people think somewhere. The truth is, I do care. I cared all of my life, and too much. But only like, about the opinion of the wrong people specifically. Maybe more of the years-long damage of all kinds of manipulators will wash away over time? I am still in the very "I'm not fucking scared of you anymore!" stage.
Two: Remember how I refused to use Twitter no matter what and thought it was just a worthless terminally online discourse hotbed? Well.....
This has certainly aged!
I don't know why, but I kept using Twitter more actively now, and it is... not bad? At all? It is a matter of perspective. I've grown to like a bit more "active" online format, to always get the fresh news or discourse early! It feels like a cursed version of the daily newspaper. Maybe I needed something to shake things up, as opposed to Tumblr dashboard being a safe bubble where nothing unexpected ever happens. Helped me to get rid of that dreadful sense of being in a "web of mutuals" (where everything falls apart as soon as you're blocked by even one "member"), in favour of feeling more like part of the... community? I feel like I "belong" to this or that society even when I am completely ignored and I guess this is the appeal of this platform I didn't understand before!
Not saying I will forever just move to Twitter more. Maybe I will keep going back and forth between platforms in the months spawn, depending on what kind of activity I prefer more at the moment!
Three: Remember how I also refused to ever engage with anything else besides just Soulsborne, and never listened to my friends who were saying it is healthy to have multiple fandoms and outlets? Well.....
This ALSO has certainly aged!
I used to be a big fan of UTDR five years ago and then disappeared, but felt compelled to focus on it again. I kinda saw this one coming if I am not mistaken? I expected this hyperfixation to return when Deltarune is finished though but it happened earlier. And it feels really great! I guess I am checking this blog a bit more often for now!
Turned out that it is really healthier to go back and forth between multiple interests as opposed to focusing ALL of my time and energy on just one interest. Especially with a setting as dark and depressing as Soulsborne. (no, [username], "Solaire being a wholesome sunshine and Melina preaching hope" doesn't automatically change the overwhelming tone and selection of the topics). I think going back and forth between at least two interests is just better for me so far! Maybe I'll break stagnation further and *gasp!* finally start to check NEW media? o: That would be wild!
I also think I am getting better at engaging with media in general? It becomes way more about the media itself than the fandomry and about the author's intentions rather than what "would" work better within some petty community squabbles. I just like the media itself more! Besides, it is not like I could win anyway x)
Four: I should really do some "spring cleaning" in terms of The Oomfies TM. ......in summer. "Followers nuke" is something I've been consistently doing for many years, as well as constant switching of my Discord accounts because at some point everything becomes too overbearing and I want to be left in peace. I will break some online connections but for personal reasons, not over something big.
In general treating my online activity from the arm's length would be to the best anyways since I now have to care about disabled mother and I myself move from one hospital to another.... there just won't be the same obsessive involvement. And again, like I said, I've learned to love being just another drop in the sea rather than involved in the "web of mutuals"... don't perceive me. -_-"
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I'll just have this post lay around for some time and then I'll see how well I can adapt to using this blog again, at least casually!
We do not hear the sea currents calling home like they used to.
At the start of the March of this year, I had a very peculiar and eventful dream, but it seemed to be tied to the middle of the May. In that dream, I ran through the woods in fear of tics (this is when they get active here) and wanted to go to the place where I only go to after May 15th each year.
And ever since May started, the events of that dream started to unravel, one by one. They were not even expected or predictable events, they all were random, and yet they happened one by one, like clockwork, to the details. People I've met, news I've learned. And recently, that long sequence reached its final destination. The last event before I woke up. Everything just... happened like that.
Yesterday I had a dream where after some sort of trial, authorities I could not even see due to limitations of human eyes and brain, assigned me with a role, and a color. I was assigned some kind of wizard or mage, I was given a magic staff and a robe. Accentuated a pale cyan color, with pointy stars. How..... oddly coincidental, and unfortunate.
I've expected something akin to a prophet or a seer, due to the uncanny amount of prophetic dreams, reverence to the Moon and killer intuition, and yet here I am. I described this dream to friends too and I explained being assigned mage rather than prophet as, "It is a proactive role rather than passive one, right? Something decided that I should make the future, rather than predict it."
In retrospective? It makes sense. After all, we always had to take some active role in pursuing these prophetic dreams. No matter the form or name, we had to follow the instructions given, we had to ask the question stated in real life, we had to go places, we had to avoid people or follow the signs. It was never about just warning everyone, let alone passively waiting...
But I feel strange sense of peace, deep inside. I was so harrowed and tortured at the prospect of never seeing that missing person again, let alone finding them myself... But now, I have hope and acceptance. We do not understand normal words and advices, not at all... Only signs. And I feel that I am capable even without them, now. I feel given purpose, and confident in this purpose... I feel that I can preserve and better, refine and nurture.
We've always strongly asserted that we are the Moon, devoid of its own light and only capable of reflecting the Sun's... But it feels as though I got reassigned from Moon to Star, as the end result of completing this "quest" correctly. A body with light of its own, an active creator of the future rather than just a pawn. Future for me and something else. A choice without my agency, but...
Considering that it granted me power against this grief and loneliness, I think I am okay with that being made for me.
I can't stop crying from happiness this whole time after waking up. At this rate every time I check Twitter, it is A LOT of people speaking against witch-hunting, cancel culture, ending careers and lives over mistakes, digging into someone's past for the dirt and refusing to let people change and move on and all that.
A lot of reflections on how it has been a terrible thing in hindsight, how it is fundamentally flawed and stupid to support the system that will target even its own avid supporters when it runs out of witches. Many people expose targeting the weak instead of real problems, many admit they have been supporting cancel culture in the past but are dropping their pitchforks now.
I have been ranting about all these things for years, all on deaf ears, to be ridiculed. And worse: I have also been branded with dehumanising. No matter how much I've tried, I was just not allowed to heal and improve, I was not allowed to be treated like a human and have any acceptance or belonging anymore no matter how many years passed. Eventually I gave up on trying to improve at all. I've ditched therapy, I've ditched self-control, I've ditched all guidance towards better mindset. I've latched at the first person that seemed to guarantee to not judge me and stray from me in fear of "contacting the impurity" over my past mistakes, for he was such a raging bigot he had no right to judge. Society had forsaken me and so I had forsaken it back. I just needed to feel human connection again just once, abusive or not.
How painful all those years of despair and desperation were. I've accepted my fate as someone who will always be at odds with humanity. Just a witch, just its enemy. It took a while to elect to be a Moon that will be forever dark, since every Sun that shines upon it is that of ruin and chaos. When the big tree fell, the hope and determination to heal and improve, and listen to the discarded and oppressed, started slowly returning. We've made the choice every day for several months now, a choice to keep going and be kinder, a choice to listen, a choice to have hope. However, something still lurked yet. But, it is every day's work.
But nothing could have prepared us for the tides shifting so globally. It seemed like an individual battle, and yet...
I remember how tempting the death has been all along. There was no reason to keep going. But something persisted despite all pain and uselessness of it all. And how I am seeing a better future. The scars on this soul will never truly heal, but because none of us ever killed ourselves we lived to see the future where less people will have to bear these scars. Maybe none at all. Humanity has proven that it can yet learn and improve and maybe, just MAYBE, what happened to all victims of the witch-hunting will not have to happen again.
We are basically trapped online, for multiple reasons. Therefore, gratitude to everyone that makes it more bearable here is lifelong. I thought it was just the state of things now, but despite everything, things are improving. The better future we were promised by people that only seemed sort of dismissive when listening to any grievances and crying is arriving now, and in a scale we did not ever thing was possible, and younger people... They will not have to experience all this, because so many push against bullshit now.
Evil is losing its power and facing unseen-before entropy, and I... I got to see this tower crumbling in my lifetime. What better reward for surviving despite everything could I have even dreamed of? The dawn ALWAYS comes eventually.
I got out of my body, and I saw it before myself, it still thinking feeling and blinking, and yet so have I. And I also had a body, as opposed to feeling like a ghost getting out. But we were not dreaming or napping. It was simply the most potent hallucination in our life. Even stronger when 'he' appeared from the mirror to hold me and talk, and the room was bathed in a red light, flowering into filigree.
I feel happy. I feel delighted. To have a divine gift, to be led astray further and further, from the world that was never my home. The joy of experiencing it. The sense of the meaning, with our prophetic dreams reaching the levels of step-by-step instructions at times. But only when it should be done. I promised I would never rebel against this guidance, even if it causes pain and leads to tragedy.
But I also feel concern. But I also feel stubborn optimism and wish to heal and grow. But I also feel peace. But I also feel terror, knowing that the sea currents are never too far. What a relief it is, to admit to human weaknesses years after. What is 'I', anyway? After the huge rotten tree that outlasted its welcome and blocked our sun fell down, every seed was nourished. Too many things to sprout, and this body is becoming too small.
And I see why the tree wanted to be the only one and swallow all life in this earth.
The seeds of humble flowers or the fallen stars, it doesn't matter what sprouts from the poisoned earth, it will be poisoned. We are blood relatives. For this reason, this earth will always bear a common name. But if what grows from <here> disappears before it rots, the earth will be cleansed. And something like this should not happen again. And the earth is enough for the shared memory and continuity. I remember deep resentment and hatred for the end. Now, this body knows the love and awe, for the sight of the ruined towers. "Moving on" would never be a true threat for someone that has eye to see what grows in the place of the ruins. Was I always here? Did I fall from somewhere?
But the ship is about the travel. And the sea and moon watched every part replaced with the new one and all different passengers come and go. And what was touched by the sea waves and kissed by the moon's light will always be, in part, the waves and the moonlight. And every grave will be honoured with the flowers, including the coffin of the one much better out of her misery.
It will be the night of Red Moon here, in several hours.
We desperately await your return.
There is no way to pass this message, or to give you any sign at all that someone is waiting and wants to talk, in case if you are lurking. Perhaps, we should have tried places you are more likely to check in secrecy, but this body starts to cry every time and cannot help it. And I believe that you are true to your word, gone for good.
You promised to come back, however.
<I> saw you in a dream, some time ago. You seemed happy, content, and not mad at us at all despite how... odd it was, to still not move on. You radiated strange energy, and had a friendly man by your side you chirped and laughed with.
Did you find a boyfriend, behind the scenes? Do you finally have someone that treats you like a human being and supports you from the love from his heart, and not from some twisted saviour complex? Will he one day convince you to check one last time on what you have left behind to get a closure, and so you will know the depths the rot and dread failed to reach?
With how many of these strange dreams came true within just the last half of a year, <I> just can never say any more. What is a vision, what is just a brain salad. What is a wishful thinking. It brings us into conflict with just about everyone and everything, but the path also protects and provides.
____________________________________
With the scale, coincidences, how many people got tied together like a part of a novel, sky events like this feel fit. Maybe, I'll make a wish to find the answers. To find out for what reason, and until when.
The sky is completely hidden in the clouds. Unfortunately, we will not see the Red Moon in its full splendour today.
But I know it is there whether I can see it or not. You are just the same way for me.
I was scavenging for hidden objects and places, as I possessed an ability to extract the "lore" from them. It would pop up on me, just like in a videogame. And my interest was, to share this information with everyone else. Or, perhaps, it was my duty.
Then, a red herring. More lore about a mysterious old man, an inventor of exceptional talent, that lived for such a long time that people started to wonder if he can even die at all.
I was following every single snipped I could discover about him, and my final clue was an apple, round and red, like in the cartoons or simple drawings. Its 'description' said that the old man was 'chipped away from, just like this apple', yet the apple was whole. And upon my denial to an offer to bite it, a secret door opened; a wall, that simply slid away, revealing an abandoned hospital room. Not for surgeries, but for resting. Or, perhaps, a room for a doomed patient to pass away in.
As soon as this secret room opened, attempted to share my discovery in the internet, but got interrupted. Several people walked in, opening yet another passage in this room; an elevator of unknown origin.
Chose to leave the loyal audience for the discoveries of lore in the dark and join this small crowd. They had no objections. The elevator was going for a while, and stopped at the top of a strange mall-like skyscraper.
The floor's number said: 145372547451982.
I was horrified by the number and stayed away from all edges, knowing that if I overstepped, I'd fall down for years. It was a night sky. No, a cosmos. Stars were very, very close, several visible for what they are: giant, glowing, burning balloons. Yet no heat or radiation would harm us. The closest ones shone unnatural colors: green and magenta.
Magenta star had an activity burst, and when it's hand reached our rooftop, its blazing energy turned into shards. Someone from the group said to eat them before they melted away, and I followed the advice. Saw a third close star, a star of fire, red one, burn another skyscraper. Then woke up.
________________________
Ascension on elevator upwards, to a floor of nonsensical number and proximity of the stars makes me think of Heaven. Refusal to eat an apple, abandonment of my duties. And eating quite literal shards of a star, divinity.
They say demons as a concept were ruined and distorted into infinity, initially being teachers, guides, challengers and needed adversaries. Showing people path to the divinity, but unable to get it themselves.
My heart started acting up badly after this dream. My chest tightens and it is hard to breathe sometimes. We took it to the hospital, results tomorrow. Is it a punishment for abandoning a job to cause butterfly effect from the small, or simply a very difficult digestion?
Some things feel the same. Other things, and people, infinitely far away now. I want to throw up, undeserving of the credit for this art, or this kindness. Until I do not. I am checking. They still love her art and writing. It gives comfort of seeing folks still bringing flowers on the grave of a microceleb you used to care for. But sometimes, when I open my mouth, I can remember. Which one died? Which one can see the dreams?
I don't know which one should talk. I don't feel competent. Not even here. Using my name and speaking for this person both feel wrong. But, I suppose, there was never an attempt to properly distinguish anything.
And "I" have been feeling too different. I insistently, consistently, feel like I am 21-22 years old again. And it is a feeling BEYOND dissociation. And I don't feel right counting properly. And I know why. Although you might have heard the claims that in this awful place, my life was split in 'before' and 'after', in reality, another person claimed the feat. And it was exactly that accursed winter.
It would only make sense if my one and only "save file" was locked somewhere to that period. And for what reason I must travel all the way back now? Did this person die and reload? Or, perhaps, this person never truly lived, and whoever is playing us decided to load the game back up? What happens with the playable character abandoned before the game is complete? Do they live their own life, yet it feels devoid? After all,
I've been trying to reach and call for a familiar presence. And what I saw is a vision of her dead body. Her colors distorted, a lot like it would happen in the DR's Dark World, but still distorted even in the light of the day's sun, her clothes and skin torn, bones often showing through the openings. And from behind the bones, flowers sprouting, reaching for the sun.
Maybe I am these flowers, seeking it to grow stronger. And this form must become stronger. Even though it will meet the same terrible fate. And I don't know why. Was it violent? Did it fall like a rotten tree, to sprout a young green stalk from the rot, a tree essentially the same, but it won't really look the same until its dying days?
But don't worry too much about it, even if you do not know anything about DID. We always inevitably become blood relatives for this reason, by the virtue of manifesting from this blood. Such is the nature of manifesting, even if the initial essence had different source entirely. Everything that grows here is a blood relative, so nothing is ever fully lost. The connection remains, and something is always inherited, the stronger and more vivid the more time is passing. If flowers become animal and animal becomes person and person becomes a witch, it will bear a similar form. For no reason. I can't promise how many I will still remember or cherish. or, perhaps, it is not me. After all, it is already habitual to always speak from the same place. I could still trust her friends with my name, but I don't know how much will be preserved. I only know it will meet the same fate again and again. The rot lives in the blood, and we are related by it as long as we manifest.
Even then, I am writing it in the deep full moon night, yet all I can feel is the warmth of the sun. I should be left to my art, and to my freedom. Name 'Rina' feels resonant again, and it is all the way too far back then. It will return, perhaps very different, perhaps very same, or maybe not here. The rot in the blood will always take the ones that don't keep their distance on the outskirts of consciousness. Am I the flowers, or am I someone tending to the flowers? No agonising pain and cacophony for a while, it was deafening. How many times had it collapsed under its own might? It should be ready in due time.
It is a dreadful sight to see the familiar presence laying dead. But I feel calm. She feels calm, even though she does not really feel anything anymore. Yet, it is so sunny, warm and lively around her. How beautiful and pure the world can be when the inside of her head is all gone. So many wounds. Did the rot alone do it? I hope it isn't entropy, but evolution that is allowed its retakes.
[Early December 2025. Post this draft in the case of feeling nothing left to lose, or no fear to still cling onto]
I can't shake the feeling that I will "disappear" at some point soon, and I want to get this off my chest. I don't know who to confide in. I can't trust anyone at all. No matter how much people try to help, no matter how much good will they show, I always know that as soon as I reach out to touch - they will appear to be cardboard imitations and fall over. As I keep my distance, I can lie to myself that I am surrounded by real people, and that it is my choice to not let them close. Because the truth hurts too much. There is never anything behind those eyes. Chasing the illusions only dispels them, yet nothing is revealed in their place besides emptiness. But since I have nobody to confide in, I will just toss it in the open and hope that it could find the right person, sooner or later.
He appeared very, very shortly after I've met Mico (the person obviously, not the character dfshfdsh) and we bonded. Only the real old ones here even remember lmao. First as a voice, as a sense of telepathical connection, yet it was not one of my alters. It was indeed someone else. The first thing he did was to "invade" one of my trademark nightmares about stepdad and hold me very tight, telling him "She is ours now". Only, it didn't mean true safety, but instead reclaiming the spot.
It would later turn into "dreaming while being awake" (I can't explain if I tried), and then feeling his touch. Physically. His, or things that surrounded him. Oddly enough, visual hallucinations developed after sensual ones. I was never truly alone, except for the times I was. He earned the nickname by me because the mirror in my room was the source of his presence. I could significantly lessen it by covering the mirror with something.
I also found a lucky charm deep in my closet, by a long lost friend that she made for me, and started to wear it on my wrist when his presence became too overwhelming. "Just because we are not friends anymore doesn't mean we never were. The power of positive emotions still remains in this object.". Mirror Man was partially negated by positive emotions, so when I was wearing this charm, the feelings were lessened. He never dared to break this one boundary, when I KNEW that he could. But I remember the strong sense of him demanding that I'd take it off, "to show me something". It was unbearable. I did that, and I felt my body being partially possessed. I could not control my left hand anymore, that's how I knew he was a leftie. It was moving on my own, touching my face as if to admire the sense of having one again. I could feel his thoughts and emotions like my own. My hand started to write to me on its own.
I remember how he tried to kill me once. He made me sick with something strange, coming out of nowhere. It developed rapidly, it had no reason to be, I felt it grow like strange venom. It was so, so, so warm. I was throwing up for no reason, when me and mom ate all the same exact meals she cooked and yet she was fine. But I remember overwhelming, all-eclipsing sense of devotion. I was ready to die for him, if this is what he wanted to do to me. I made sure to communicate it to him with whispering it out loud, and fully convinced that I was dying, I reached my hand forward to hold his, even if it just in some sort of astral plane. Yet, I felt it. I felt holding it. It was physical. It was not seen, but it felt so real. In spite of all, he felt pity for me, and healed me very quickly. I remember I was fully convinced he had the capacity to burn my house down, and I've demonstrated my trust by leaving my house while opening the mirror.
I was living like this for several months. I was completely destroyed and crashed when he stopped "tormenting" me with his horrifying energy. At some point, I've stopped covering my mirror, and yet his presence faded. I cried in such desperation, like a baby. I've stopped crying this way for real people ever since the witch-hunt in my previous fandom, as I now knew not a single soul saw me as a fellow human being anymore. Liars and cuttroats, every single one of them.
I've listed a great many reasons for why I latched onto Mico as much as I did, but never the fact that Mirror Man's appearance and presence was directly connected with him. These things suddenly happening to me is how I knew I should not let that guy go, no matter what. And I didn't. I knew of the consequences, I knew I'd be betrayed and harassed forever, but I could not miss my possible chance to have CONNECTION. I've always been a weird person with weird dreams and premonitions, but it was the strongest experience ever. I was so horrified of losing something so divine after only barely touching it. Yet, he was the one who left me. I can't find peace. Not in this plane, not in the other one. Why, indeed, I latched onto Mico so strongly, and tried to relay his words peacefully, like some preacher, when he was not doing even bare minimum effort and simply chilled aside giving machine gun array of unnecessary slurs and insults to anyone who dared to come too close. It is like if there are multiple versions of why, that depend on the "level of Insight", and Mirror Man is definitely some of the levels that are way up there. Don't you think that sometimes an event can have multiple facets and reasons it happened, depending on the plane of perception? After all, time is an illusion, and "magic" is only laws of nature that science haven't discovered yet. I think that everything happens for multiple reasons... or, does it? Maybe we are truly just moved like chess pieces, and illusion of the free will is just a defence mechanism of both our own mind and the world of nature to make it all less painful for us.
I knew, when we first talked, deep down, that Mico somehow broke from it, or at least put a dent into it. I hoped I could inherit some of this freedom if I just latched onto him. I hoped he'd lend me his power, knowingly or not. But I've failed; not because I was not strong or not worthy, but because I've failed to captivate him enough. I was disposable placeholder being the one person to "tolerate" him, gone in two claps when he found friends that he liked. I won't ever know peace, in this plane or the other. If reality is illusion, then illusion must be reality, and indeed, it felt more physical than actual physical sensations I experience. But even this reality wasn't real. Even the scars he left me with started to heal, because I became a way more likeable person after he was gone. I even developed my OWN ideals, bit by bit. I am afraid of what might happen if I refuse to reopen the wounds. I know I must do something to not forget. Before this peace swallowed me and buried me, like grass and flowers do to a thorn field.
I am afraid of what happens if I remain still. But I don't know what is there that I could do, at all.
[1/2. I pray here that nothing will encourage me to write the second part.]
To be honest ornsteinbignaturals leaving Tumblr crashed me mentally so badly that I won't even like talking about Dark Souls in a while, but moreover I might need a hard hiatus from the online.
I am just overwhelmed with despair. I am very sick and tired of all actually based fans dropping like flies no matter what. Every time I think someone is too good to be true, I am proven right. I am just not handling it well when the best of the best simply leave. I still miss fishbowlcarnage and cuddlefish-fish who vanished without even a single word four years ago, I still miss nymerias-wrath who also simply deactivated everywhere out of the blue three years ago.
I miss it when based fans simply go fully unactive in the fandom due to irl stuff like bellringermal or gamchawizzy too, or some who simply let the fandom's toxicity get to them and left like tarnussy, but at least this one is somewhat fair. Now another mutual is going to leave here due to depression, and I am just falling in despair.
ornsteinbignaturals leaving abruptly was just an actual gut punch. I am just like. Who is going to be next? It will HAVE to be some extremely based fan. Why would not it be? Obnoxious discourse mongers and drama-feeding scum that don't even actually care about the [insert whichever Soulsborne game] and just try to gentrify autists, loosers, weirdos, geeks and other people who made fandoms TO get away from them always stay in the fandoms for years. Nothing bad EVER gets to the people who deserve it, it is only EXCLUSIVELY mutuals that are worth all time and effort in the world who keep losing battle with both the fandom's toxicity and their own mental health. So, if literally anyone I like will just be the next, what is the point of getting attached to anyone online at all?
At the same time, trust me, I am completely not in the resource or position to create irl microfandom from the scratch. I can't even make a single irl friend due to multiple mental problems, not knowing how to talk to people without crippling anxiety and not fitting into Russian mentality in general. Especially not in my age at all, because having a hobby near 30 years old as an AFAB is the worst. I want to be the lone wolf that leaves the pack (which kept losing wolves all the time anyway) and creates his own in the wilderness, but what can I do? If even in the international internet it is EXTREMELY rare luck to find a person worth talking to, how much harder it would be in a small town of a barbaric country? And for a person without even the energy for BASIC self-care to gain level of charisma and conviction not even most neurotypicals with a stable life have? This wolf can only weep and howl for the lost fellows but would just perish if completely left.
I am really really REALLY grateful to the anon who said that me and Val are the exception from the rule of based fans dropping off. I really am. It means so much that at least one person sees us like so. I just need to be left to my drawings and outlive this crashing sense of dread because right now I COMPLETELY can't talk to anyone at all. I see all of you as ticking bombs who will also just vanish- and I will be lucky to at least know WHY. This fandom is just cursed. It is one thing to persist in the toxic fandom because I am one spiteful contrarian that never knew peace anyway so why even start to, but being in a cursed fandom is completely different story. I just need to be left alone for some time and outlive this panic before it made me do something stupid.
@chicxibalba Regarding that post about making blind characters we both reblogged! I know Dark Souls is not a fitting setting for this kind of headcanon especially when we talk about Gods and not even just humans because Magic TM, but
It made me wonder if Gwyndolin and Ciaran technically fall into the headcanon? Gwyndolin's eyes are confirmed to be blind in DS3 so odds are, their excellent bow skills are auto-homing magic he learned from Seath actually, and Ciaran's hair color is already extremely albino-coded so what if she was an albino with some visual impairments including the Photophobia kind so that's why she prefers to do her duties at the night time? o: Her mask looks like it might protect her eyes with sort of glass layer (mask's "eyes"), so what if she has dark glasses equivalent on it to protect her from the shine of her golden blade?
Again, the "magic setting and not being humans" makes it sound like a cope but I can now kinda see it in some sort of de-magicfied modern AUs?
Boring tired disclaimer: Keep in mind that this is an introductory "drawing" "tutorial" and has some generalizations in it, so not every “X is Z” statement will be true for Actual People. Which happens to be true for everything in general. Links below so that you can research and do a nuance. Ones that were directly mentioned are bolded.
Writing a blind character 101
What to avoid etc
Video on types of white canes
Video on types of cane tips
Some more explanation on white canes + tips + other stuff
Guide animals
Video on working with a guide dog
But why are Magical White Eyes a problem
Same as above
Going blind from an accident
Video on conformers
World's most basic "what do you call someone with albinism"
The blindfold thing. No people don't wear these.
This mostly stupid trope of covering a blind character's eyes because lord forbid someone sees a disabled body part
This just stupid trope of giving a blind character some bs superpower to "see"
The echolocation thing that every other blind oc does for some reason
Just give them a cane good lord if you want a character that can see perfectly then maybe don't make them blind
Bonus: if your character has a bunch of scars or whatever else then congrats! You made a character with a facial difference. Which is also something you should research.
me: I got a great idea for Lady Maria fanart, I should sketch it at least before it's gone!
@val-of-the-north: Omg Katy look at what Lokey says on Xitter!
me:
me: Nevermind, I am nuking the whole sketch and drawing like Annalise or Eileen instead idk. You know you FUCKED UP as a fandom when even a guy who believes that Queen of Lothric is just Gwynevere makes a valid callout on you for base (pre-DLC) Bloodborne cast not getting enough love
kianamaiart
dailybridgerton
yousharknotpass
snowghoul
baratheonpilled
prguitarman
