THE DANGERS OF SELF-APPOINTED ISOLATION
Before officially moving 12 hours away from home to attend graduate school, I knew that God was calling me to be set apart. Yes, “set apart” the way Paul implies in Romans 12 [this will be discussed in the next post], but also “set apart” as in being separated from everything/everyone that made me comfortable and complacent in who I was. I was aware that this was going to be a faith-stretching journey since every friend, family member, confidant, and comforter would be miles away. Unfortunately, once entering into this season, I eventually realized that I greatly misconstrued what God intended as a season of isolation, and dangerously pursued a life isolated from everything and everyone – sometimes out of necessity, but other times out of pride.
Despite what I already heard about the area I was relocating to, I was determined to “be a light for Jesus.”  This common phrase was easier said than done because when I started school in August 2016, I had no idea that I would be drastically different from everyone in my cohort – racially, culturally, mentally, and spiritually. However, as humans we naturally have a desire to fit in, and at times bridge the gap between our differences. So I figured if I was going to be this “light” that I had to adapt and be relatable. Initially, I would interact with my cohort by going to lunch with them and trying to be attentive to their shallow, carnal conversations filled with obscenities about drunkenness, sex, relationship issues, and Anime. It soon became obvious that I couldn’t relate to anything they engaged in. No one else is my group professed to be a believer or appeared to live a life after Christ, so the explanation of my faith never seemed to be enough to justify my lifestyle. As time went on and the wedge between them and I grew, I became isolated. It wasn’t that I thought of myself as more highly than them, but truly considering the ratio of 1 to 10+ and their constant denial of the Gospel, I decided that my fleshly desire for acceptance wasn’t worth their dismissal of the truth or the denial of God.
1 Corinthians 15: 33 Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.”
Since majority of my time was spent in class with my cohort, my days grew very lonely. I went from my apartment, to my office, to class, and back home – every day. It became rare that I held a conversation with anyone on campus the entire day with the exception of teaching my students. Being an *introverted-extrovert, I didn’t mind the solitude at first. Most times I would actually enjoy having lunch by myself so that I could journal or read. Then again there would be times where I longed for just one person to talk to. Imagine that. Out of over 40,000 people on campus I had absolutely no one to talk to (LOL, I can laugh about it now that I’ve grown from it).
I recall praying to God for a group of Christian friends that actually sought to have a relationship with Him. The following week, I received an email about “call-outs” taking place on campus. Call-outs are where organizations present information about their group and solicit members – similar to an organization fair. I skimmed through the list of organizations that were supposed to be there and found three Christ-centered organizations. Arriving there the following week, I learned that one of the groups only accepted undergraduate students. However, I was able to sign up for the other two. I immediately began meeting with one of the two groups the next week, but their schedule often conflicted with mine. A couple days later, I received a call from the last group called Chi Alpha.
Chi Alpha (meaning: Christ Ambassadors) was like no other campus ministry I’d ever seen. Its members were students from literally every corner of the world who were boldly living for Christ and had such a welcoming heart for both believers and nonbelievers. This particular campus’s ministry was broken down into missional communities and discipleship groups. A missional community is “a community of Christians, on mission with God, in obedience to the Holy Spirit, who demonstrates the gospel tangibly and declares the gospel creatively to a pocket of people.”  It is a small group of about 20-30 members who are committed to doing life together beyond bible studies and church services. Similarly, the discipleship group is a more intimate group of about 2-3 members who are committed to meeting weekly to study and live out the Word of God, serve as accountability partners, and continue to make disciples.
Matt 28:19 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit..
I had finally found what I’d been praying for. This group was truly committed to correctly living out the Gospel, sharing it with others, and creating disciples. It was evident that every single aspect of their lives revolved around Christ. They weren’t simply “church-goers” or “cultural Christians,” they took their faith outside of the four physical corners of the church building, and into the world.  I had quickly gone from simply attending church on Sundays and occasional bible studies, to being held accountable by strong women in the faith to study and learn God’s word, share the Gospel, pray more, participate in corporate worship, and actively engage in Christian fellowship.
I was so excited in the beginning - not only to be more intentional about growing in Christ, but about having true sisters in Christ to do it with. This is what I wanted, right?  Well if I was truly honest with myself, I would say that I enjoyed the thought of having real sisters in Christ, but didn’t count the cost of it. Being accountable to other believers required me to be vulnerable, to face my insecurities, and to peel back the layers of “perfection” I had put up throughout the years. If I wanted to grow from this process I had to swallow my pride, acknowledge my shortcomings, die to my selfish ways, and become the empty and willing vessel for Christ that I proclaimed to be. This was a difficult thing for me to admit because for 22 years, I suppressed any struggle or anxiety that I had.  So instead, I isolated myself.
I grew more excited about having reasons to miss my discipleship meeting than I did about getting to know God more. Christian fellowship began to feel more like an inconvenience than an opportunity for growth. Worship nights were no longer enjoyable and I’d wait days to reply back to all the ladies who were holding me accountable and wanted to know my whereabouts. A lot of times I wasn’t doing anything special, but my flesh convinced me to hide from the sanctification God was taking me through. Little did I know, my self-appointed isolation was doing more damage to me than it was comforting me. You see, I believe God’s intent for separating me from everything and everyone I had known was because He needed me to solely depend on Him for provision in every aspect of my life – spiritually, academically, mentally, financially, etc. While I was at home, I had a support system that I would call on for anything. This isn’t a bad thing, but I didn’t realize that I depended on them for everything. God needed me to recognize and experience that He was the source of all things and He did so by isolating me from what was familiar. Contrary, when I isolated myself, it was from the body of Christ. This was a dangerous thing because when I willingly removed myself from other believers, I gave the enemy leeway into my life. I gave him the opportunity to plant seeds of doubt, discouragement, fear, and all sorts of sinful distractions. I even started to lose my desire to pray and worship. If only I’d push past my emotions and carnal desires to remain in fellowship with other believers who encouraged me in the Lord, maybe I wouldn’t have had experienced depression and panic attacks.
To the loner Christian who despises fellowship:
Understand that we are relational beings.
Don’t set yourself up to be attacked.
Fellowship is important to your relationship with God.
Beginning in the book of Genesis, it is evident that relationships are important. From our triune God (Father, Son and Holy Spirit) to Adam being given Eve, relationships have great significance. Don’t despise the power of unity.
Yes, as believers we all have the Holy Spirit and the covering of God. But it’s just as important to understand the power that comes with being able to walk boldly with brothers and sisters in Christ. The enemy is less likely to be successful in his evil deeds when facing a group of believers wearing the whole armor of God versus the one loner Christian.
We are the body of Christ and are connected by His blood. Every part of the body plays an intricate role in it being functional. Imagine having a body part amputated. The warm blood that once flowed through it may run for a while, but it will eventually run out, and the body part will rot because it’s no longer connected to the source and other life-giving parts. In other words, when you alienate yourself from the body of Christ, you slowly miss out on the strength, encouragement, and power that comes with being connected, having others intercede on your behalf, hold you accountable, and help keep you in right standing with God.
Take heart, things can get uncomfortable when you’re coming into the person God has called you to be.
s-u-f-j-a-n-s-t-e-v-e-n-s
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