Random Musings Of My ADHD Mind

[mbrainspaz]

When I complain that my coworker leaves equipment in weird and inconvenient places….

😐

[atomic-two-sheds]

I have a substantial number of questions.

[mbrainspaz]

Let's not forget that on my third day working here he stashed a MALLET above the driver's seat of our work buggy and when it fell it missed my head by inches. Or the time he stuck needle nose pliers in a shelf pointing outward at eye height. Or all the times I've found open knives in piles of hay. Or shoes in the feed room. Or insecticide in an unlabeled spray bottle... also in the feed room. e_e

[madmanswords]

... this man must be intending for an accident to occur. Like he wants to be responsible, but try to argue no culpability.

[mbrainspaz]

I think he just has adhd and was a rich kid who never really had to deal with a lot of consequences. He's a total golden retriever of a human being but I've gotta be Indiana Jones out here.

[mostro-rotto]

[cryoverkiltmilk]

"This is my weird son. He can't climb for shit, but he is handsome and strong."

[cryoverkiltmilk]

#cats be like#is anybody adopt that#and don't wait for an answer

[knightofleo]

Kestrel-dad not sure how to dad but he’s trying his best.

[astarlingdiscovery]

[punished-ned]

Dad loves you and feeds you. But he is also dumb and feeds you a wonderfully done wagyu steak. You are 3 days old.

[swan2swan]

Okay, but check out this video from mid-May 2022 of a Kestrel Dad who just kept piling up voles and mice beside his babies when the mom was injured/killed/mia’d by owls…but then watched one of his babies just swallow a lizard and went “OH. I can feed them small food!” and learned to tear it apart!

EDIT: There’s a not-zero percent chance that this could be the same dad???????? The source is the same–Robert E Fuller–but they could be different birds. 

[swan2swan]

UPDATE: Not only has Mister Kes learned to feed his chicks all on his own…

….the three chicks who were taken out of the nest for intensive care after the mom disappeared were put back in, and he just started feeding them, too.

He’s a single father of six who does not possess the instincts to feed even one of his offspring, but he learned and adopted that behavior without difficulty and is now hunting and providing for six kids all on his own. 

[tuulikki]

[random-chaos-thoughts]

Happy father’s day to the Krestel single dad of 6 Who is doing a wonderful job

[animentality]

I choose to incorporate this into my worldview.

[d0n-d13g0]

Adam Sandler, magnificent bastard, was not a sentence I ever expected to say but here we are.

[charlieodinoco]

Man's got talent

[thisbravegirl]

babe wake up new adam sandler lore just dropped

[beardedmrbean]

[stele3]

Huh.

[vaspider]

Everyone who works with him talks about what a mensch he is, so, like... that scans.

[homeinteriordesigntips]

[soberscientistlife]

you have no right to parent someone else's child

[only-tiktoks]

[catchymemes]

[catchymemes]

Leaked scene from new Fast X

[guooey]

[transette]

[naradreamscape]

Serious explanation here: she's teaching them the instinct of being alert around enclosure openings! For example, if these were wild cats living in a bush, they'd run the risk of a larger predator running up to the opening and grabbing one of them. The mother cat is also only bapping them lightly without claws, so those slaps are more of an annoyance meant to get the kittens' attention, and to teach them to keep their eyes out for potential threats.

[catchymemes]

[debellatis]

This is.... Absurdly cute. What the fuck.

[gallusrostromegalus]

It's worth noting that the reason the beaver wants the water to be deeper in the first place is that the Beaver is using the deep water as a pantry:

All summer and fall, beavers gather up branches with the leaves they actually eat, and store it in the deep end of the Pond, where the cold water and limited oxygen keep the leaves fresh all winter, so when it's negative 20 outside, a beaver can take a dip out of it's lodge, grab some refrigerated leaves in the (relatively) warmer water and go back to it's cozy little nap hole while everything else is out there suffering and eating bark or the like.

So it's less "there's a leak in my house" and more "OH SHIT THE FRIDGE!!"

[tiktoks-for-dead-pope]

[dduane]

Your occasional reminder: Art doesn't usually come out right the first time.

[fluffygif]

Drawingartgram

[blackberrywars]

@grizzly-bear-official @bearotonin-international

[bearotonin-international]

artists who use nonconventional media for their art are the most insane coolest people ever

[lizardsfromspace]

The real reason you couldn’t make Airplane! today is that it’s a parody of a type of movie that doesn’t exist anymore in part because Airplane! made fun of it so hard

[lizardsfromspace]

The 70s-style disaster film was already dying but Airplane becoming, by far, more known, more watched, and more liked than any real example of the genre even though it was the most popular type of movie right up until Star Wars is one of the most magnificent examples of Weird Al-ing something

[valentineish]

The jester mocking the court advisor so deftly, the curse on the king breaks because His Majesty realizes that guy does suck.

[lizardsfromspace]

To quote Daniel Craig: “We had to destroy the myth because Mike Myers fucked us.”

One unbelievable fact I learned looking for that quote: the Austin Powers sequels outgrossed both of the last two Pierce Brosnan James Bond movies.

Man those Brosnan Bond movies are such a weird transitional moment in pop culture. People tend to analyze that by going “well the Brosnan Bond films were Bond trying to figure things out after the Cold War ended, Craig is post-9/11 Bond” when the actual dividing line is the start of the Austin Powers Era of History

[paused-waterfall]

The best satire self destructs.

Satire that lasts 50 years and still elicits “OMG so true"s ain’t worth SHIT to me. If it’s still true after that long, it’s just snark with no bite. Real satire is a knife (or sometimes a scalpel) that dispatches the target of its criticism and in so doing makes itself irrelevant (if not incomprehensible). It’s Jon Stewart getting Crossfire cancelled, it’s Tina Fey impersonating Sarah Palin so seamlessly that her ticket was unelectable, it’s Duchamp mocking the art scene so hard he irrevocably changed its course.

If satire is still relevant long after its creation, it has failed at its mission. It might be funny, it might be good comedy, but it’s not good satire.

[lizardsfromspace]

A lot of satire is of its time and one of the better signs of that is how many satirical works just. Outlast what they were parodying and no one knows they’re a parody anymore

Obviously that describes 90% of Weird Al’s songs, but like, Lord of the Flies is a parody of a specific type of British adventure novel (and a specific novel, even) and it’s outlasted it so long that people bring up the satirical aspects of Lord of the Flies to criticize Lord of the Flies.

[thenatsdorf]

Press play, the audio is worth it.

[totopopopo]

As you all know. I work at an elementary school. And for Christmas, a bunch of kids got tamagotchis. Well. One girl fucking FORGOT her tamagotchi at school. And I saw it and was like oh fuck. So I took it home for the weekend and now am saddled with the responsibility of keeping it alive until Monday afternoon when I see her again.

[totopopopo]

Not this damn tamagotchi setting off an alarm at fucking 1am because it "pooped" and I need to press buttons to clean it up 😭 there's NO WAY of turning this thing off. Avielle is lucky I've committed myself to taking care of it this weekend. Next time a kid forgets their tamagotchi at school I'm letting it die idc idc

[totopopopo]

I’m locking it in the bathroom overnight idc the fact that it keeps going off for no reason is insane whoever invented these needs to go to jail

[totopopopo]

[totopopopo]

I can’t clean its poop while it’s asleep so it’s just sleeping in a pile of it’s own shit rn … why is this enjoyable??

[totopopopo]

This fucking thing is like. Nocturnal. It’s slept ALL DAY like it won’t STOP SLEEPING in a pile of shit and there’s nothing I can do to wake it up which like, that’s fine except it’s going to wake up at night and start beeping at me!!!!! How am I supposed to take care of it when it literally is only awake at night???? I have a morning shift tomorrow I can’t stay up until 3 am to feed this fucking pixel beast!!! But also I swore to myself that I wouldn’t let avielle’s beloved tamagotchi die so I guess this is just my life now

[totopopopo]

Tamagotchi UPDATE because a lot of people are saying they’re invested in how this plays out.

After, i shit you not, OVER THIRTEEN HOURS of sleep, the tamagotchi finally woke up at 9:18pm, which I was made aware of because it beeped loudly at me. For context, I am at my SECOND job (not the elementary school, the candy shop where I am currently alone working the closing shift on a Saturday night, which is already not fun.) I investigate and finally clean up the two giant shits that have been sitting on screen for the entire thirteen hour nap. However, the poops are quickly replaced by…. A ghost????

You can’t rly see but it was like. The black blob to the side. Clearly a ghost or possibly skull or black jellyfish. When I try to hit any buttons, the tamagotchi shakes its head violently at me, refusing to eat or play. I can’t get the ghost to leave. A customer walks in and I have to hastily stuff the tamagotchi into my pocket. When I take it out of my pocket, the ghost has gone. I press a bunch of buttons at random until I am able to ascertain that this little fuck is 1. STARVING 2. MISERABLE. Which is NOT MY FAULT, seeing as it was asleep for THE ENTIRE WAKING FUCKING DAY and resisted all attempts to engage with it. I press more buttons, and am able to feed it 5 hamburgers and 2 pieces of cake, which fills it up. It is still deeply unhappy. I am currently standing behind the counter of this stupid candy store on the clock jamming buttons in order to entertain this stupid pixelated asshole enough that it becomes sufficiently happy. So that it doesn’t fucking die of boredom or depression or whatever. The game we play is confusing and involves numbers and pressing buttons at random times. The tamagotchi is very explicit with its attempts to show its frustration at me, but right now it’s 9:32pm and I think it’s satisfied. I’ve been walked in on three times. It keeps beeping at me from my pocket. Long story short:

[totopopopo]

So this tamagotchi is the fucking devil.

11:30pm Saturday night. I’m finally almost done closing the candy store and ready to go home. Since waking up, the tamagotchi has been periodically beeping with an obscene sense of urgency and entitlement, but nothing out of the ordinary. I take a fun mirror selfie (for a later update) with the tamagotchi in the mirror by the front door right before I’m about to leave. I walk away from the mirror.

It fucking shatters.

God fucking help me I am about to lose my shit.

[totopopopo]

Morning update: a very kind person sent me an ask telling me how to hack a pause on this tamagotchi. They also, in a round abour way, told me how to set the time—the eight year old who owns this tamagotchi had it set to the reverse, so the beastie thought it was 9:30pm instead of am, which explains why it was ONLY AWAKE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. I fixed it for her so that it actually has a reasonable sleep schedule, woke up the tamagotchi, cleaned it’s 3 festering poops, got rid of the ghost (which someone else informed me means the tamagotchi is sick, probably from the starvation and the poops), fed it a bunch of hamburgers and cake slices, and got it back to full health and happiness. Now I’m gonna use the pause hack to pause this motherfucker. Yaaaay! Time to feed and walk my actual living dog and then go to work and clean up a shattered mirror 🧍🧍🧍

[totopopopo]

Nothing new to report, I had a long workday so I’m REALLY glad that person gave me the pause hack or it would have died of neglect. To address some of the comments in the notes, 1. yes this kid is worth it I would do it for any of them I love my children even if I fucking hate this tamagotchi 2. @ the person in my notes who said their tamagotchi stressed them so much they destroyed it with a hammer youre my favorite person and that’s hysterical I get it I really do 3. Several people are asking where they can get a tamagotchi and expressing the desire to acquire one and I have to say: if your takeaway from this post is that tamagotchis are fun toys there is something WRONG with you THEY ARE NOT FUN THE MORAL OF THIS POST IS DO NOT GET A TAMAGOTCHI THEY SUCK SO BAD 4. I give this piece of shit back to Avie early tomorrow afternoon thank fucking god I’ve never been more excited to get rid of a thing in my life. Okay that’s all for now thank you for following this journey we are nearing the end. Goodnight from me and atlas and the pixel devil

[totopopopo]

Yoooooo it evolved into a kind of blobular duck thing !!

[totopopopo]

THE TAMAGOTCHI HAS BEEN RETURNED TO ITS RIGHTFUL OWNER!!!!

It was honestly worth it, she was so so surprised and happy and at the end of the day, that’s all that matters to me. I would do anything for these kids for real. But I am also beyond thrilled that that hellspawn is out of my hands. What a harrowing year this past weekend has been. This is my final update—I know a lot of people have become invested, and to those people I say thank you for joining me on this journey. I leave you with this.

[rebel-heart-gypsysoul]

❤️