[keenminded]

# 𝑲𝑬𝑬𝑵𝑴𝑰𝑵𝑫𝑬𝑫 — independent & mutuals-only rp blog for caleb widogast from the mighty nein / critical role universe. as lovingly kept by mel ( she/her, 25+ ).

                                              CARRD. // PROMPTS.

[keenminded]

discord is simply refusing to work on my phone rip

[em1e]

what made u guys pick ur url's !

[keenminded]

this is about another blog in another fandom and not to do with anyone here but it's kinda funny to have someone who blocked me in a previous blog follow me now in a different blog

[keenminded]

playing swtor and i decided my girl will simply be a bitch to everyone except when it's more convenient for her to not be a bitch

[keenminded]

anyways speaking of taking a partner's mind off of things I fear he'd be so bad at it following the bright queen discovery because he was freaking out as much as essek. the man ready to throw down with the dynasty was not thinking straight. nothing in his head beyond protect his beloved at all costs

[keenminded]

happy sunday I just think when topping caleb is a service top and that him being in a more dominant position is still about focusing on his partner's pleasure. regardless of those dynamics though. he is very giving he is eager to please he loves to take a partner's mind off of things by making them feel good

[keenminded]

every time a post in the tags talks about shadowgast wedding an angel loses its wings

[keenminded]

i like to think caleb has not in fact had frumpkin as his familiar ever since the ending of c2 but frumpkin comes over and stays close to him anyway because, as cats are prone to do, he chose caleb and he's sticking around because he wants to. which is why the moment caleb yells that he needs frumpkin, no summoning necessary, frumpkin is right there

[keenminded]

anyways shoutout to that moment with luc were he says he has a great teacher unlike caleb

[keenminded]

and you know caleb knows trent wasn't even a good teacher. HE is a good teacher, unlike his mentor. and even though he may not be able to say he's good he knows he's doing better. and yet.

[unification]

*torturing you* dude trust me, something really cool happens. you just have to reflect on it for a bit. i'm doing this because i want you to reach your full potential okay?

[keenminded]

and that's!!! very in line with some of the stuff in the campaign. the decision to not kill trent in the finale, but honestly most significantly the discussion about what to do with him that they have before the dinner. caleb tells them everything and his friends ask what he thinks they should do about astrid and wulf, who were initially victims as well even if they stayed volstruckers, but they expect there'd be no discussion about killing trent. like not a single one of the nein would've thought twice about it. but you can see very clearly in caleb's reaction that that's not how he feels - which is what prompts them to ask for confirmation and be like. 'trent we will absolutely kill though right. right???' and he doesn't answer

idk there's no one in the world who terrifies him more than trent ikithon that guy was his nightmares for years he feared ever seeing him again because he was sure trent would kill him (and a thought on that: how connected to that expectation was the feeling that he failed? like he's a failure so of course trent will kill him and how he still feels like he failed even after he understands what was done to him was horrible). but he is also, to him, in a way that he knows is not real but still has a hold on him, the teacher who saw potential in him and his mentor and master and father figure. it's all manipulation and caleb knows that on a logic level but to actually stop feeling like that is something else

also I said that to hope but. caleb visiting trent in prison is behavior very similar to caleb sitting in the torture rooms in the tower. he'd be hurting himself when he is already not well by clinging to these things from the past that are harmful to him. it's deliberate self harm even if it's not physical and I do think it goes back to what he feels he deserves when he's struggling.

[keenminded]

just saw the one (1) single post so far about the fact caleb visited trent in prison by someone saying it's driving them insane and same. it's me. i ghostwrote that post. this information is living in my head rent free i can't stop thinking about it.

[astraldestiny]

— @keenminded → continued !

She had half a mind to leave him to his suffering when he chose to try and meet her frustration with deflective humour. This isn't funny — but the comment died before she even opened her mouth, mind taken over by concern for one of only two people who she felt any love for. Even the urge to box him for his stupidity was shut down by the feeling of warm blood on her hands. She was no healer, had no great spell in her long list to help him out and they were running low on potions. Everything in her told her he did this to himself, he should have to suffer the CONSEQUENCES like anyone else, yet her hands moved to uncork her last potion anyway. " You're a damn idiot, Bren. Never do that again or I'm leaving you behind, you hear me? " They both knew that it was en empty threat. She'd long proven she would sacrifice everything for the two boys at her side. Foolish as it might be, she could not abandon them.

" That was stupid, " she repeated for what might have been the third or fiftieth time today. " And reckless — " And they'd have to hide this incident from master Ikithon or they would all face punishment for Bren's foolishness. They were a team and that meant the mistake of one was the mistake of the TEAM. She would not see them punished for her boyfriend's attempt at showing off to her and Eadwulf. And while she refused to temper her tone, sharp and biting as it was, her eyes betrayed the genuine concern she felt for him. " You know, you're the most talented wizard of all of us. " There was no point in denying it. Ikithon had an eye on Bren specifically for a reason and he'd made little effort to HIDE his favouritism. " So stop trying to show off with other things or you'll get yourself killed. And for what? To impress us? You know there's no need for that. "

[keenminded]

"I hear you," he says, even though agreement means very little when she knows he would do it again should the need arise and he knows she would not leave him behind anyway. Lightly said and not as serious as she would have wanted, he is certain even before watching her reaction. There is a certainty, ever present, in his belief in Astrid and Wulf; the solid reassurance their bond can withstand anything — even his most foolish decisions. The fall will not hit him because he has those who would always endeavor to catch him, just as he would for them.

Bren cannot be as dismissive as she continues, however; not because Astrid softens (she does not) but because he knows her sharp words to be honest. "You are both as good as I am, though," he retorts, not as an attempt to flatter but meaning it. Their master may have shown more appreciation for his skill a few times, yet that makes no difference. Anything he can do, Astrid and Wulf would be able to do as well. And maybe that is the thing, isn't it? He cannot do as well in the other things they can.

The idea of admitting that is embarrassing; as is the thought of just accepting he is not as skilled as his partners. A stupid wound to his ego, he knows, but it hurts nonetheless. "We're all talented wizards. I should be able to do more than that. I needed to prove I could do it. It's just — I don't want to stay behind."

[keenminded]

something very interesting to me in that bren would not ever say he is the favorite he would say that's not really true but he knows it is and he does enjoy the favoritism.

[keenminded]

the 'wait you guys are getting paid?' meme but it's me about everything swtor that ffxiv doesn't