[insert title here]

A humble rant + writing blog because I miss being anonymous.

[keep-it-shrimple]

Brief/Placeholder Intro

☆ agender trans man (he/they, prefer he/him)

☆ artist + writer (not gonna tag my art/oc account cuz the point of this blog is to be anonymous/disconnected, but I may reference art/writer-related things)

☆ junior/soon the be senior in high school

☆ prolly neurodivergent but undiagnosed

☆ massive biology nerd

☆ theatre kid

This blog may get kind of dark sometimes but it's meant to house my random thoughts/rants/writing, not be 100% negative.

[keep-it-shrimple]

I'm just a man. I don't have the strength to survive period cramps every month. Help.

[keep-it-shrimple]

There's something in here with me. It burrowed into my skull. It sits, curled and waiting. It's afraid. So am I.

At night it howls, but its pleas are silent. I feel every vibration, every ounce or fear and pain in my soul. It hurts. So do I.

This flesh keeps it safe, but it is a prison. It sits behind my eyes, watching the same world I do. It whines in the back of my head. It is sad. So am I.

This thing in my head is not me, but it's truer than anything I am. It is fear. It is horror. It is twisted and monstrous. Most of all, it is scared. It scratches and claws, and my mind bears the marks, but hurting me was not its intent. It wants to be free. I want to be free. It wants to leave. I wish it would.

It's an animal, nothing but primal instinct. It is a child, too small and naïve for this cruel world. It is a leaf, battered by the winds of life.

I hold it, I whisper comforting words. I suffer every scratch and bite and I do not hate it, for I know its pain. It doesn't wish to hurt me, but it is afraid. I know what it is to be afraid.

We cannot escape this cage of flesh; but I can try with all my might to make a friend of this thing inside me.

[keep-it-shrimple]

"This is my son."

*I say, referring to the 30 year old man I'm aggressively shoving into the trauma blender*

[keep-it-shrimple]

Shaking my brain like an etch-a-sketch, trying to erase the memories of the original plotline for a story of mine so I can rewrite it but *good* this time.