Normal Human Kieth

My name is Keith. I am a man. I enjoy chocolate and almonds.

[keith-oficcal]

I am “Keith”. My brother and colleague is called “James”. Good morning, good evening, and good night.

[hjartasalt]

Mods are asleep post forbidden tits

[hjartasalt]

Huh

[hjartasalt]

Huh

[hjartasalt]

Huh

[hjartasalt]

Hhhhhhh

[anothermarkiplierfan]

Perfectly balanced as all things should be…

[0v9]

[lexeirikrleif]

[fruitloopghosty]

[offbrandbeethoven-blog]

i

[immortalcheesewedge]

balance

[alanaisalive]

The other night husband and I were watching a documentary about the yeti where they were doing DNA analysis of samples of supposed yeti fur, and every one of them came back as bears.

Anyway, the next night we watched a thing about some pig man who is supposed to live in Vermont. People said it had claws and a pig nose but walked upright like a man. Now, I happen to know that sideshows used to shave bears and present them as pig men. So every piece of evidence they gave of this monster sounds to me like a bear with mange.

So now the running joke in our house is that everything is bears. Aliens? Bears. Loch Ness monster? Bear. Every cryptozoological mystery is just a very crafty bear.

Bears. They’re everywhere. Be wary. Anyone or anything could be a bear.

[iguanamouth]

oh shit

[throughshadow-to-the-edgeofnight]

[alanaisalive]

As the OP of this post, I’m going to threaten that if this gets to one million notes by the 10 year anniversary on 1 June 2026, one year from today, I will get a lower back tattoo of the loch ness bear monster.

[keith-oficcal]

@james-offical Brother, rally the troops

[bigandlong]

If you see this on your dashboard, reblog this, NO MATTER WHAT and all your dreams and wishes will come true.

[jae-felidae]

Oh hey! Haven’t seen this in forever! Didn’t reblog it when it came across me before, not gonna skip it this time, I need some good vibes.

[james-offical]

Do you like cilantro?

- @chef-cooks-cilantro-emporium

very green

👍

[keith-oficcal]

Soap.

[james-offical]

I love having two eyes. What more could I need?

[keith-oficcal]

four.

[keith-oficcal]

moon cancer

James.

[james-offical]

Hello, James!

Would you like a drink? Coffee, maybe?

-@richard-roose-offical

Hello! No thanks on the coffee, I don’t drink much of it because of the incident. Who are you? :)

[richard-roose-offical]

I am a cook for our gracious King, @eredin-offical!

I enjoy giving out free drinks. Maybe you want some orange juice?

[james-offical]

Oh, sure! Wonderful to meet you, by the way :D

[richard-roose-offical]

You too!

*Gives you orange juice.* Enjoy your drink!

[james-offical]

Thank you! *sip*

[richard-roose-offical]

*It was heavily laced with arsenic poisoning. 1 milligram is enough to kill 10 adults.*

*Walks away.*

[james-offical]

eushekebskns

@ben-offical @jake-offical @keith-oficcal CAL THE NOTHERSHIP

HILP

[keith-oficcal]

MOTHERSHIP HAS BEEN NOTIFIED, SENDING CLEANSER NOW

[james-offical]

TH

[keith-oficcal]

SENDING YOU TO MEDBAY, THE CLEANSER ISNT WORKING

[james-offical]

Jam

[keith-oficcal]

TOMY NOOOOOOOOO

[james-offical]

Hello, James!

Would you like a drink? Coffee, maybe?

-@richard-roose-offical

Hello! No thanks on the coffee, I don’t drink much of it because of the incident. Who are you? :)

[richard-roose-offical]

I am a cook for our gracious King, @eredin-offical!

I enjoy giving out free drinks. Maybe you want some orange juice?

[james-offical]

Oh, sure! Wonderful to meet you, by the way :D

[richard-roose-offical]

You too!

*Gives you orange juice.* Enjoy your drink!

[james-offical]

Thank you! *sip*

[richard-roose-offical]

*It was heavily laced with arsenic poisoning. 1 milligram is enough to kill 10 adults.*

*Walks away.*

[james-offical]

eushekebskns

@ben-offical @jake-offical @keith-oficcal CAL THE NOTHERSHIP

HILP

[keith-oficcal]

MOTHERSHIP HAS BEEN NOTIFIED, SENDING CLEANSER NOW

[james-offical]

TH

[keith-oficcal]

SENDING YOU TO MEDBAY, THE CLEANSER ISNT WORKING

[james-offical]

Hello, James!

Would you like a drink? Coffee, maybe?

-@richard-roose-offical

Hello! No thanks on the coffee, I don’t drink much of it because of the incident. Who are you? :)

[richard-roose-offical]

I am a cook for our gracious King, @eredin-offical!

I enjoy giving out free drinks. Maybe you want some orange juice?

[james-offical]

Oh, sure! Wonderful to meet you, by the way :D

[richard-roose-offical]

You too!

*Gives you orange juice.* Enjoy your drink!

[james-offical]

Thank you! *sip*

[richard-roose-offical]

*It was heavily laced with arsenic poisoning. 1 milligram is enough to kill 10 adults.*

*Walks away.*

[james-offical]

eushekebskns

@ben-offical @jake-offical @keith-oficcal CAL THE NOTHERSHIP

HILP

[keith-oficcal]

MOTHERSHIP HAS BEEN NOTIFIED, SENDING CLEANSER NOW

[keith-oficcal]

What do you think about other keiths

There are more of me?

[keith-oficcal]

I have said “Mambo Mambo omatsuri Mambo” and have drawn nothing but Mambo for the past several hours. What is this called

[keith-oficcal]

official is spelled wrong in ur name btw

Nuh uh.

[james-offical]

What is “yaoi”? I’ve heard the term but I am unaware of the meaning

[keith-oficcal]

honse ear 🫵🐎

//OOC

We’ll be fine just so long as we don’t cross the line

V!Pyro and V!Owen when I get you

[keith-oficcal]

OOC: Black Hole Fantasy by The Crane Wives is so Fantube let me cook

[keith-oficcal]

Target audience

[keith-oficcal]

favorite chocolate and favorite almond. go!

Dark chocolate, roasted nonpareil.