Woes of Apps and Romance
Dating as a millennial is absolutely exhausting. I can’t imagine it being more difficult in the past than it is now. Swipe, swipe, swipe. Judge people based off of five pictures, maybe their religion or their openness to smoking weed. I have over one hundred matches on ONE of my dating apps. You go back and look at the dudes and you’re like “this guy is ugly why the hell did I swipe right?” When you think about it, it’s because the ugly guys get diluted the more you stare, swiping viciously through stacks wondering if one of these men is someone you could possibly marry.
You make tentative plans and then bail because they aren’t real people until you meet them. And, so many guys have bailed on you. Or you simply just don’t answer when they ask to hang out, or they don’t respond to you when you ask them. Or maybe you actually go out with them and they look nothing like their photos, perhaps they did four years ago. Completely catfished. Or you go out with them and have nothing in common with them. Or you go out with them and embarrass yourself because you get too drunk. Let’s face it, dating apps are recipes for black outs. I mean, who actually wants to go meet up with a stranger you’ve basically connected with based off of geography and looks, dead ass sober? Not anyone worth going out on a date with anyways. You could even go out with a sexy guy, have a good time, go home with him, sleep with him and then never hear from him again. It’s like a cesspool of ghosts. They appear as humans and as soon as they stick their dick in you, they disappear.
And then there’s those people that are like “I refuse to go on dating apps.” Like they are somehow “too good” to go online. Listen up sweetheart, every single guy that I have since met in person has been a complete douchebag. Example one: my ex boyfriend, emotionally abusive. Example two: Joe who wears the tight pants. Granted we met hammered on a Friday night in Southie so maybe not the finest model, but appeared sweet. Dude comes home with me and fucks me, and can’t even text me back. Example three: Peter who I flirted with and left my number while AT WORK (such a badass, savage move) who then texted me, met up with me, paid for my drinks, came home with me, woke up and laid in my bed for an hour chatting with me and then guess what? BOOM. Ghosted. Still watches my Instagram stories though! Complete fuck boy.
So really, tell me why meeting someone face to face makes them more likely to be a decent person? Because I really can’t seem to find a solid example. In fact, the first guy I dated off Tinder, Nate was actually really sweet and totally fell for me and like, texted me back and opened doors for me. However, I ended it with him because he was WAY too into me and was also three years my junior and honestly was just too boyish and immature. But was a very nice boy.
I mean, it’s just entirely exhausting. I want to get laid, I’m open to finding a new partner. If we have sex and it’s good, why is it so awful to want to do it again? Are guys just swiping right and banging girls to carve notches in their bed posts? Is there some sort of silent competition amongst men on dating apps? And if your friends set you up with someone and you don’t like them or it doesn’t work out, it’s on you. It’s risky business.
It must have been easier back in the days before instagram and snapchat. When landlines were the only way to get ahold of someone. I know so many couples who have met online and are perfectly happy. And then there are the high school sweethearts, the college lovers turned life partners. And then there’s people like me. 27, mildly successful, mildly attractive, fun and cool. Parties but also is responsible, who constantly puts herself out there to constantly be let down by a bunch of pictures on some shitty dating app a nerd created to help himself get laid.
