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ellievsbear
occasionally subtle
DEAR READER
styofa doing anything
$LAYYYTER

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NASA
hello vonnie

@theartofmadeline

shark vs the universe
Cosimo Galluzzi
Xuebing Du

JVL
cherry valley forever
KIROKAZE

pixel skylines
Jules of Nature
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

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@medic981
Word crimes I have personally witnessed
Since my early days on the internet, I have kept a file where where I record phrases that people have said on the internet that have really razed my hackles.
“Thanks for your inciteful comments”
Are you thanking me for starting a flame war?
“Right of passage”
This is what you have when you’re a pedestrian in a crosswalk.
“Free reign”
Sometimes the monarch offers you a 100% discount.
“Slight of hand”
They’re very dainty hands.
“Doesn’t phase me”
Some people might be turned incorporeal in situations like this, but not me.
“Sight your sources”
They’re beautiful sources. Gaze upon them and appreciate their splendor.
“This peaked my interest”
Now that my interest is at the summit, it can only go down.
“Rein supreme”
The horse is in charge now.
“For all intensive purposes”
These purposes are quite vigorous
“Deep seeded”
I’m sowing six feet deep.
“Wet your appetite”
I’m very well-hydrated before dinner.
“Mute point”
I’m going to articulate this entirely using gestures.
“I’m honing in on your location”
You probably went through a lot of whetstones on the way here.
“Baited breath”
The opposite of bad breath: it’s such a pleasant odor that few can resist its allure.
“For piece of mind”
Young Frankenstein’s assistant should have been willing to pay for this instead of stealing a brain from the university laboratory.
“Sneak peak”
Sometimes those summits can really catch you off guard.
“Tow the line”
I assume this is what tugboat operators do.
“Reek havoc”
Sometimes a stench is terrible enough to cause chaos.
“per say”
You owe me performance royalties for using that phrase. I charge $50 per say.
“Cease the day”
This happens earlier in the winter, especially after Daylight Saving Time ends in November.
“One foul swoop”
Not to be confused with a fowl swoop, this one is probably up to no good.
“Tongue and cheek”
A match made in heaven.
“Cold slaw”
You should keep your shredded cabbage in the fridge after adding the mayo.
“Here, here!”
I’m paying close attention to the location of the applause.
“Safety deposit box”
Where we keep our OSHA-compliant gear.
“I don’t want to take this for granite.”
Of course not, it’s clearly bismuth.
“Tenants of the faith”
I’m pretty sure it’s a violation of city code for a non-residential church building to charge rent.
“Coming down the pipe”
You don’t want to know what’s in the plumbing.
“Pallet cleanser”
The forklift operator is expected to use this to keep things sanitary.
“Extract revenge”
I’m going to attack my nemesis using this syringe.
“Statue of limitations”
Carved marble can last a very long time before expiring.
“Case and point”
I’ll case the joint, then gesture with my finger to draw your attention to anything suspicious.
“Chalk-full”
Rock climbers carry bags that are like this.
“I’m going to pour over the data”
Please don’t spill your coffee on spreadsheets.
“That’s just an old wise tale”
You shouldn’t be so dismissive of elderly wisdom!
“Jerry-rigged”
Old Jeremiah is always up to funny business.
“Don't give me short shift”
If you're getting paid by the hour, you don't want your employer to send you home early.
“This peeked my interests”
That sounds like an invasion of privacy.
I received my Assassin in the Alehouse kickstarter box today and it is wonderful!
Assassin the the Alehouse is the third book in Z.S. Diamanti's Fables of Finlestia series. It is a cozy fantasy book about an Assassin who has left his former life behind to start over and hopefully stay in one place long enough to set down his roots.
This box has so much inside... trading cards, stickers, pins, book marks.... I am looking forward to trying the recipes of dishes described in the book. The wax-sealed envelope with the hand written card was an unexpected joy.
If you haven't checked out this series, I would recommend it to anyone. These books deal with characters who have endured various forms of trauma. They endeavor to work through it with the help of family and friends. All in a cozy, fantasy setting.
Do something unreasonable today.
Especially if you are a reasonable man.
Fandom Problem #13,946:
People acting like Christianity isn't a fandom
That’s because it’s not, although extremely stupid shallow urbanites often try to reduce it to one.
Isn’t it interesting that apparently that’s the only version of it you’re familiar with?
Also, just gonna say it: most Western atheists are like those people whose entire life was Harry Potter, and now their entire life is hating JK Rowling.
Authentic faith resembles fandom only to those who are active worshippers of fandom. Their blorbos are their golden calves, and they preach at the pulpit of discord and Tumblr.
Oh, that's nice, OP.
Now do Islam.
Not sure how this works when shark skin is so incredibly smooth
Married the woman of his dreams.
One of the three Hobbits allowed into Elf Heaven.
The only working class member of the Fellowship.
You send people to space to save the literal entire world and you still don't trust them to dispense their own drugs
Ah I love stupid tired Grace, but I love Rocky badgering him to sleep and never letting him live his stupidity down so much more.
THREE CHEERS FOR BREAD WITH BUTTER ON IT!!! WOO!!!! YEAAHH!!!!
Me on call with my friend as they show me their latest project
once i sent my friend that image of mark wantey and for some reason he thought that i sent him a photo of gordon ramsey
“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. The son said to him, Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son. But the father said to his servants, Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and slaughter it. Let us have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.”
— Gospel of Luke, 15:20-24
It’d be a missed opportunity if I ignored the date
It’s back
I have had this queued for a year
"A dark form drifted from the sombre cliff-face on the starboard beam—an enormous pointed wingspan: as ominous as fate. Stephen gave a swinish grunt, snatched the telescope from under Jack's arm, elbowed him out of the way and squatted at the rail, resting the glass on it and focusing with great intensity. 'A bearded vulture! It is a bearded vulture!' he cried. 'A young bearded vulture.' 'Well,' said Jack instantly—not a second's hesitation 'I dare say he forgot to shave this morning.' His red face crinkled up, his eyes diminished to a bright blue slit and he slapped his thigh, bending in such a paroxysm of silent mirth, enjoyment and relish that for all the Sophie's strict discipline the man at the wheel could not withstand the infection and burst out in a strangled 'Hoo, hoo, hoo,' instantly suppressed by the quartermaster at the con."
Decided to spend my last vacation day (before starting to work on a new book) coloring these. Well-spent day. Jack finding his poor jokes so very funny is so sweet.