newsies as thing that happened on my family vacation
Elmer (after driving for 5 hours): oh my god we’re in the middle of nowhere. *sees a plateau* HOLY SHIT WE’RE IN SANTA FE! LOOK IM JACK! SANTAAAA FEEEEEEEE
(yes that did actually happen)
(stopping at a rest stop)
Crutchie: hey look there’s a sheet where we can write where we’re from!
Jack: *hits his knee on the edge of the bed, lays on the bed screaming and moaning for 15 minuets*
(Jack and Katherine sharing a bed)
Jack: kathhhhhh! come here! i wanna snuggle!!
Kath: god, please, no. don’t touch me
Albert: oh my god there’s a rat! (there’s no rat) *points finger guns and pretends to shoot it as he farts “making the sound of the gun”) there, i got it
Smalls: *laying in the hotel room alone*
Henry: *busts open the door* IM BOUTTA TAKE A BIG OL POOP
Henry: *doesn’t realize smalls is on facetime with his boyfriend*
Les: *takes out his retainer and puts it on davey’s hat*
Davey: that is the nastiest thing i’ve ever seen in my life. how dare you. how dare you put that ON MY HAT
Spot, who asked for no onions on his burger but got them anyway: oh i’m sorry, i’m allergic to onions. i can’t eat this. (he’s not allergic to onions)
Race: Spot, you asked for onion rings for your side
Crutchie: Jojo, did you loose your sunglasses at the Mt. Rushmore museum?
Jojo: of course not. i’m more responsible than that
Crutchie: i saw you go up and ask the security guard if he found your black raybans
Jojo: i have no idea what you’re talking about
Race: did anyone grab the shirt i got for spot off the table?
*newsies all groan in unison*
*they have to turn around and drive an hour back to the restaurant*
Davey: *hears a rattlesnake*
Davey: oH HOLY SHIT DO YOU KNOW WHY A SNAKE STARTS TO RATTLE NO WHY CUZ HES SCARED OH SURE GO AND LOOK IT UP THE POOR GUYS HEAD IS SPINNING
Race: i saw a billboard 2 hours ago that said “stinky kids?” and i didn’t get a chance to read the rest of it
Race: it’s eating me away inside what the hell does that mean
Romeo: feet smell like popcorn
Mush: i think feet smell like sweet chili doritos
Specs: go fucking take a shower that’s so gross
Jack: i’m never sharing a bed with you again
Davey: what, did i kick you or something?
Jack: you screamed “MILK” six times in your sleep
Les: i have to pee can we stop
*they pull into a gas station*
*they all come out, each with a bag full of candy and junk food*
Jack: i’ll have you know, i haven’t farted in the car ONCE. meanwhile, you heathens
Albert: my new favorite word is fuck-stick
Mush: what if you ate a hard boiled egg with the skin still on it? what would happen?
Mush: yeah like the stuff you’re supposed to peel off
Davey: shell. it’s called the shell, mush
(babysitting a 3 year old)
Child: i want my baby (she meant her baby doll)
Spot: okay let’s go get it it’s downstairs
Race: *in the background* you can’t have it i ate it
Romeo: *points to a gas station called ‘kum & go’”
*entire car of newsies bursts out laughing*
(bonus: something that happened before we left)
Henry: *hears rapid running footsteps*
Henry to Davey: did jack just do that thing where he takes off all his clothes to wash them then sprints naked accords the lodge to get new ones
