Hello

I like bread

[kelskels47]

yo sup tumblr

[kelskels47]

[megparsec]

Some of the best out-of-context Gravity Falls quotes, in no particular order

(feel free to add your own favorites)

“I ate a man alive tonight.”

“Time to manhandle this…man-handle.”

“Larry King’s decapitated wax head wants num-nums.”

“Darn beautiful men, always eating out of the trash…wait, what?”

“And then he chased me around and spanked me with a paddle for like three hours! Bottom line, George Washington was a jerk.”

“Jean-Paul Sartre postulated that every living thing is born without reason, prolongs itself out of weakness, and dies by chance.” “Totally righteous, bro!” “I know!”

“The inflatable pool duck revolution is at hand!”

“Songs are like hugs that mouths give to ears!”

“Are you sick of piles of owls constantly blocking your driveway?! Well then you gotta get Owl Trowel!”

“You deserve a prize. Here, have a head that’s always screaming!”

“Studies show that keeping a ladder in the house is more dangerous than a loaded gun. That’s why I own ten guns–in case some maniac tries to sneak in a ladder!”

“Old Man McGucket, local kook. Are the wax figures alive, and–follow-up question–can I survive the wax-figure uprising?”

[kelskels47]

A Kelsey Original

[hauntingdipper]

[kelskels47]

Memory is the scribe of the soul

Aristotle

[the-fantastic-chimichanga]

[catslovebabies]

[kelskels47]

"This is an excellent rectangle"

-Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation

[kelskels47]

"I can eat an entire shirt"

-Donna quoting Kelso That 70s show

[kelskels47]

Someone: What are you doing out at 2am?

Me: Being the very best that no one ever was.

[parkinglotwhale]

I just saw 3 guys running down one of the streets by my house in Team Rocket cosplays and it was the single greatest moment of my life.

While the app crashes every time I get near a wild Pokemon, it doesn’t really matter too much because I’ve seen the most amazing things on just a 30 minute walk. From little kids with iPhones to the gentlemen in a business suit sprinting across a baseball field yelling to his wife about a Rattata, today has been pretty good. 

[kelskels47]

"You should never settle for who you are"

Michael Scott The Office

[kelskels47]

"Hey if I wanted to scare a baby I wouldn't honk; I'd wear a mask and make ghost sounds"

-Kelso That 70s Show

[kelskels47]

"We are part of an elite high school terrorist team; Strike Force Wisconsin!"

-Hyde That 70s show

[kelskels47]

"You keep saying stuff behind my back then how come I've got the # 1 track"

-Ryan Howard (Mr. Understood) The Office

[kelskels47]

"Funk is the problem and the solution"

-Michael Scott The Office