A tip for white therian/otherkin etc. to make you a better ally
but it’s from a white guything who’s been taking notes & wants to point out a thing it’s noticed
TIP: When interacting with “discourse” or considering interring a “debate” or “conversation” with any BIPOC about a subject that affects them, you need to immediately wipe it from your mind as discourse, a debate, or as a normal conversation
A lot of white community members have a tendency to enter spaces where BIPOC are talking about their issues & do not perceive the conversation as being about literal issues they face. Which oftentimes leads to white community members starting “debates” about semantics, the right to do XYZ, or about their own (different) feelings on the subject.
This is the social equivalent of trying to tell someone their own kintype based on nothing other than your feelings; you don’t know someone’s Kintype based on your feelings, thats not how that works.
what should you do instead?
instead, if you see any BIPOC talking about things that affect them, take a second to listen, take note of the parts that you’re curious about, confused about, or want to learn more about, and try to boost the conversation via reblog or sharing if you want to keep up with opinions & help support that post.
Note: you may get more information or clarification if you help spread the reach of a conversation.
afterwards, look into the part you were curious about! Try to do research on that idea or experience and if absolutely necessary, look to BIPOC communities for willing educators who may be willing to talk about the subject in more depth.
Note: some subjects are more niche than others, it may be more difficult to find discussion on certain things. If you try to find answers and sincerely can’t after a considerable amount of effort, then you can consider asking the OP to see if they’re willing to elaborate. Dont be upset if they say no, just politely move on & continue searching
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“what do I do if something in their post upsets me?” “What do I do if something in their post is “wrong”?”
Short answer: leave them be & move on to reflect on it for yourself.
In a conversation about BIPOC experiences if someone is just SINCERELY wrong about something, chances are their peers or mutuals will check them on it in a more effective way than you can.
But if you’re upset about something they said, or if you feel conflicted about it- it’s better (and healthier for everyone involved) to take time to reflect on those feelings and try to work through them for yourself.
if you feel bad or conflicted about being a white person after reading about the very real and very negative experiences of BIPOC, that’s okay- it’s normal for people who have “big feelings” to feel bad about being white. You just need to take the time to feel those feelings & work through them. There are resources for this online. You can find a lot of people talk about managing what’s often called “white guilt” and learn more effective ways to deal with that as opposed to trying to make BIPOC help you feel better on it.
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I want to point out to my white peers, that this “tip” and ramblin im sharing with you is a part of what many BIPOC mean when they’re asking to “have space” provided for them in a community; they generally want a space where they can be listened to and heard on, regardless of if they’re super “correct” or articulate on everything.
I know it can feel concerning or confusing if something feels “wrong” or “incorrect”, especially if you struggle with neurodivergency or moral OCD, but I want to stress that if this “tip” im sharing is followed and supported- communities have a tendency to balance out and smooth out any incorrection with time and support.
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“why does any of this matter?” “Why are you bringing this up?”
Because this community has proven to be unsafe for BIPOC and that fucking sucks.
to elaborate: ive not been in tumblr very long but in my time here I’ve seen BIPOC in the community keep trying to point out problems or discomfort they have amongst their white peers only for the problem and discomfort voiced to immediately give them backlash, harassment, and hostility from specifically their white peers. And this has resulted in many of the BIPOC in the community to outright leave and that fucking sucks.
I’ve seen too many people express the reason they’re leaving or posting less to be specifically this problem & I don’t really jive with how little any of my white peers are publically acknowledging this. So I made a rambly post about it, in hopes to (at a minimum) plant this idea in some others heads.
The community needs to be better
im sure ive not articulated everything here enough for it to be the best, so I super encourage everyone to do further research & put in more effort than just this post-
but pleaaaaase, show more compassion and consideration towards BIPOC. This community (and in general this social media) cannot afford the continuous cutting of its numbers, engagement, or unique insights that BIPOC bring to it
