Can the Seahawks Win Another Title Now That Russell Wilson Has Had Sex?
A lot of question marks surrounding the 2016 Seahawks. Will the offensive line hold up? Will Thomas Rawlsâ ankle be ready to go week one? Is Jimmy Graham healthy? The Seahawks will be a good team this season, thereâs no debate there. But these lingering questions are what will separate this Seahawks squad from being a good team and being a championship team. Unfortunately, thereâs a bigger question here thatâs not being asked; can the Seahawks win another title now that Russell Wilson has had sex? Iâm not a math guy, but I am a sabermetrics guy, and all we can look at here are the numbers. Thereâs a handful of notable athletes whoâve held out on sex until marriage, and it doesnât look good.
Athlete           Virgin Titles         Marriage            Post-Sex Titles
Philip Rivers         N/A               2001               0
Beth Hamilton        7                 2013               1
AC Green           3                 2002               0
Kaka               1                 2005               0
Collin Klein          N/A               2012               0
Michael Redd        0                 2006               0
Prince Amukamara    1                 2014              0
Tim Tebow          2                 N/A               0
Lolo Jones          4                  N/A               0
Russell Wilson       1                  2016               TBD
TOTAL Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â 19 Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â 1
 Look, these are advance stats and I get that some people donât like fancy pants math mixing with their grit. But numbers donât lie. It will be a remarkable feat if the Seahawks and Russell Wilson can overcome their division, their conference, and godâs wrath for giving into lust. Donât âwell actuallyâ me with âthis is Saint Russâ second marriageâ either. He declared celibacy a second time with Ciara and that voids his first virginity. Itâs called second virginity. Ever heard of the bible? 2016 could prove to be a tough year for the NFLâs walking friend zone. Canât play the humble card and go around throwing your sex in everyoneâs face Russ. Be a regular guy, one time.












