I was diagnosed with severe combined type ADHD well into my adulthood. The many years of undiagnosed ADHD has a major source of my trauma, and I hate it so much.
I know a lot of people think of ADHD as a silly, quirky disorder. Someone with ADHD has trouble sitting still, has focus issues, has short term memory problems, etc. None of this sounds like anything so bad on the surface.
What people often don't see is... how people like me are treated.
(tw child abuse ahead)
Growing up, I was often punished and berated for things that "normal" kids could handle. I constantly forgot my homework, couldn't get the executive functioning to start on projects until the last minute, would be so hyperfocused in a book that I would miss dinner, be unable to sit still long enough to practice piano, etc. And each time that happened, I would be punished for it. Hit, spanked, yelled at, grounded, belongings destroyed... it was constant, daily punishment. It felt like I could do nothing right. Pretty much all of my punishable actions could be tied in some way to my undiagnosed ADHD.
It was genuinely awful and I have a lifetime of trauma from that. I'm scared of even shaking my foot when I'm by myself in my own room, I feel guilty for spending any amount of time reading or playing video games. I beat myself up for my lack of executive functioning. And my parents never, ever tried to help me learn those skills. All they did was try to beat those "habits" and beat the "laziness" out of me. And tell me that "all kids experience that, you're just making excuses" (I now know that ADHD is often found within the same family, and I highly suspect at least one of my parents to have it as well to the point they normalized their own experiences).
I can genuinely say that many of my mental health disorders (the DID, the depression, the anxiety, the suspected NPD, and anything else I've missed) can all be tied back to my undiagnosed and unmanaged ADHD, and all the trauma that came with that. Hell, even into adulthood, I struggle more with my ADHD symptoms than I do with anything else. If anything, the other things just further exacerbate my ADHD struggles. It genuinely sucks.
This isn't to say I find all aspects of my ADHD bad. I genuinely enjoy the hyperfocus (when it's hyperfocus on something I actually want to hyperfocus on). I think the way my brain jumps from topic to topic, connection to connection, has made me more creative than many of the people around me. And it's very much a part of me that makes me kind of uniquely "me". But also... I know it's such a big part of my trauma history that to try to paint it as this positive thing in my life would be a lie.
But yeah. I wish we talked more about how traumatizing living with ADHD is.
Songs About You (2005) is the first half of a dual-sided project by platinum-selling group Big Time Rush, and their fourth album overall (from the THIRD TIMELINE).
The album is considered "like coming down from a high", following their sweet-and-summery and silky-sultry third dual-LP "HORIZON" (2003/2004).
Hey there lovelies! I wanted to create something with the same vibe as the Raquel Hair ponytail so I imagined what it would look like out and made this flipped over curly look. I thought it would also look cute shorter and one side tucked behind the ear so added a few more variations! I hope you like it! 🤎
Base Game Compatible
24 EA Swatches
All LOD’s
Hat Compatible
Four Versions + No strands alternatives
PREVIEW
Soraia Hair - Version 1 (left) and Version 2 (right) + looks with no strands 🤎
Soraia Hair - Version 3 (left) and Version 4 (right) + looks with no strands 🤎
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Trying to stay in affirmations. I'm Hot, I'm Fun, i'm Creative. I'm Successful. I can FUNCTION. I can achieve.
This season is practically dunzo but I feel like adapting my routine and trying to be consistent will really help me to get this whole project underway at least going into next year. I'm actually very excited and want to keep my focus.
Integrating myself back into simblr stuff and gaming will start to feel like home. Builidng all of my little sub-brands will come naturally. Keeping my impulsivity at bay in tandem with healthier choices will give me the energy I NEED to get AROUND my ADHD's tedious habit of fatiguing my momentum.
sparkles for eyebrows #91 - 25 colors \ all ages & genders ♡
sparkles for eyebrows #91 shine - 25 colors \ all ages & genders ♡
eyebrows #83 & #88 is added also in make-up, tattoo and accessories section so you can mix them with different eyebrows (they can work as make-up art 👀) & play with color sliders х ⊂(･ω･*⊂)
❗️️ ALL CC IS SLIDER COMPATIBLE ️❗️
LinkTree with all links where you can find me 💞
💌 THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SUPPORTING ME 💌
KHAOSCAPTIVE. @khaoscaptive - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
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