the Spelling of Miscreant Words

[kharicature]

A line of freckles, joining shoulder lip and cheek, a touch of pink and kisses in between.

the path home

[kharicature]

Let me die, maybe. It’d be easier and less of a hassle. People care but don’t, and you’re the only one who really does anyway. Promise I won’t die though because I love you. Just don’t see the point.

I’m not as impulsive as I wish I was

[kharicature]

“I’m stumbling through the days, turning unread page after unread page. There is such an integral part of me that’s missing. I can feel it (or its lack thereof) in the long empty hours, the meaningless encounters, the trivial accomplishments. Without it, I am at a standstill, an idle stop. A running engine with no destination.”

status: missing you

[kharicature]

“I have never felt an emotion quite as exquisite as the love I feel for you.

Not sure-fire anger or gut-wrenching guilt. Not blanching panic or curling pain. Not fear or sadness or regret, no. Not nearly as much.

My love for you burns a fierce fire, bright and blazing and beautiful. An otherworldly source of light, of warmth—ardent and eternal.

With it (with you), I am Strong.

Strong enough to brave the clap of thunder, the rolling waves, the monsters in the dark. Strong enough to stand up for myself, to fight for what I believe in, to live and learn and love with everything that I have.”

– thank you.

[kharicature]

“Open expression, soft everything. Soft mouth, soft brow, soft cheeks. Soft with sleep. Pouted lips, a small opening at the corner that meets the pillow. A smooth freckled temple, undisturbed by dark curls resting buoyantly above. Forehead furrows, a development in the dream, before settling again.”

– Slumbering Goddess

[kharicature]

I am a galaxy a constellation of one You, my star my everlasting sun orbiting my heart, my lungs, my brain round and round and round again spreading warmth from my nose, through my chest, to my toes   A beautiful light burning brilliant bright, my bearing in the darkest night.

a tribute to Galilea

[kharicature]

You think I’m above playing dirty? Scapegoating? Guilt-tripping? Lying by omission? I will fuck myself up for the rest of my life, just so that you will stick around to protect me.

– (protect me from myself)

[kharicature]

“You think that my inaction means I don’t love you. You couldn’t be more wrong. I don’t know how to break away without you feeling guilty. I’m not even doing anything yet and you already feel guilty. But the thing is, whatever happens, you’ll still feel guilty, and though I know it, I haven’t accepted it yet. You know I have a problem with guilt. It’s an emotion I know all too well. It’s this feeling in the back of my throat—not quite like I’m about to throw up, but like my intestines are alive and are trying to escape my body. The idea of an intangible emotion actually becoming a physical manifestation, is extraordinary frightening to me. (It probably is to many people. But I was brought up to believe that emotions are something people control, not the other way around. And I am a professionally diagnosed robot, so.) Perhaps I should be more used to it, considering how often I experience guilt, but alas, I’m not. (Typical.) So, the possibility of doing something that will make you feel guilty—literally, my least fucking favorite emotion ever—is just about one of the worst scenarios I could ever find myself in. Which is entirely selfish. And does not justify my actions. Or inaction.”

– but there you go

[kharicature]

“Thinking. Too much thinking. I think about fandoms, but I don’t have any new ideas. I think about uni, but I stress myself out. I drink so I can sleep instead of think, but my mind’s still churning under closed eyelids. I don’t even know what I’m thinking about. Just that I can’t stop.”

– p.s. you’re very good at photography

[kharicature]

Ruby’s aesthetic

Smarts and sunspots and singing in the shower

Rosy cheeks and racy thoughts and bouts of ridiculousness

Beach waves and beautiful smiles

Warm hugs and witty remarks

Long legs and lyrical locution and a love that conquers all

[kharicature]

The future is ours. And it will be magnificent.

– a believer

[kharicature]

i’m wide awake and looking at her

a pretty girl with

curls across her forehead

freckles on her cheekbones

glitter in her lashes

she’s asleep and so beautiful

– it’s 2:31

[kharicature]

Do You Think if i stayed in bed like this, if i did nothing but lie here for long enough, if i thought until i ran out of thoughts and breathed until i lost all breath, i’d eventually die? Do You Think i’d wither and waste away, become nothing, not even a rotting corpse or pile of bones, not aura or ash or air, not essence or existence, just nothing?

Do You Mind if i try?

[kharicature]

It’s funny because you’re off getting all self-accepting and whatnot, And I’m here discovering just how meaningless I am without you.

Bit Shit

[kharicature]

“I have discovered a new way of missing you. It's not quite like the others, it's a little different, because this way of missing you is what I feel in between all the others. It's ceaseless, stationary, it's fact. It's the unshakable knowledge that I miss you and the backpack feeling of wrongness, of disorientation—like when you've forgotten something but can't remember what or when a friend acts different around you but you don't know why. It's a feeling as present as breathing and as constant as blood flow. It's the basis to all that I am because as long as you are away, I will miss you.”

– (never forget, I am yours)

[kharicature]

I figured it out, just a bit; There are so many people and so many things in this world trying to stop our love, So when the only real, good thing in my life that I believe in, becomes one of them, I feel something a little like pain— But a lot closer to anger.

And that, I really don’t know how to deal with.

[kharicature]

the Ways that i Miss You: *Furiously = when I feel it burning inside; an abandoned flame, raging out of control; the only way of escape is by clawing out of my skin and even that is taken from me; ends in tight fists and ugly tears. *Impossibly = when I’m numb and nonexistent; a snowflake, lost in a sea of snow; the only thing less important than breathing is myself; leads to a healthy dose of suicidal ideation and objectivity. *Painfully = when I yearn to be in your arms; a hunger and desire that physically manifests itself in fully body tremors; nothing makes sense, especially the fact that you are not here; results in an overwhelming soreness that resonates through the bones. *Most of all = when I remember that somewhere somewhen, there exists the last day we will ever be apart; a tiny daisy, alive because of a decision, a choice; sadness and hope joining forces to obliterate pain and doubt; inspires dreams of a marital nature.

I’m here, snow pea