Anthropology by the Wire: Summer 2013

This blog functions as part of the third installment of Towson University's research program entitled "Anthropology by the Wire." These field notes reflect my work as an undergraduate participant in the aforementioned program as I gather data on the Baltimore City community.

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we're so special we got our own post 

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walking on the other side

The thought of attending my first church service was met with panic. I had been raised Jewish, had my bat mitzvah, a coming of age ceremony at 13 years old, and attended a modern orthodox private school from 4th-12th grade. True, my father's side had been born and raised christian, catholic even, but we saw them rarely only on Christmas, thanksgiving, and Easter. those three days played out the same. every year saying grace before eating was the only ritualistic religious aspect of our time together. Though I had been raised to pay no mind to religion, my school quickly tried to instill separation tactics. Teachers in high school would scoff at those Jews who decided to inter-marry. it was as if those Jews actively sought to abandon their religion and ethnicity. I remember once having a class devoted to comebacks to the most popular scripture missionaries would quote. we were taught to stick to our own kind for fear of assimilation and becoming a traitor. Though I rejected many of my teachers' personal philosophies I knew I attained an uneasy associated with churches. After all, it was one thing to be friends with people who subscribed to different lifestyles, but to try to be open to another opinion, especially one as delicate as religion, made me uneasy.

Ebenezer AME, located in sharp-leadenhall, acts as one of the oldest if not the oldest african american church in the area. The building itself has been standing for 177 years and hold a rich history. The service, to me, played out like a concert. women and men sung songs of praise to God. The preacher then delivered her sermon to the congregation. Though I felt sorely out of place, everyone made it their business to shake hands, hug, and say hello to me. I'll admit I'm unhappy with the outcome of the interviews I conducted, but not everything works out the way we'd like. If nothing else, the ABW crew set up a positive environment for future students to come in and  transcend boundaries in pursuit of knowledge. 

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the best-laid plans of mice and men

Leon and I have done our fair share of worrying about creating an ethnography, a media representation, of our Jacques ambassador. currently, we're cataloging and trying to piece together a cohesive story from the footage we've got. We've definitely got some great ideas which we believe not only make for an engaging presentation but also paint a picture of M which holds true to his character. older posts give insight into the fear and anxiety of collaborating. while they're reflexive beware of text riddled with emotions. 

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Reflections That Won't Come

Two days I'd been putting off my reflections on RG Steel. I expected something to become evident in the way I feel in how we've literally went from theory, david harvey, to practice. I relished my time with both my collaborators, one a female steel worker and the other a wife of a third generation worker. Contact information was collected,  and both my collaborators seemed fine if not pleased with the raw data. Still, I don't know how I feel exactly. It's  uncanny how much of a perfect textbook case sparrow's point is; Harvey couldn't dream up a better example. Chris had said something to ABW a week ago about how sparrow's point was lucky, workers only have extra benefits offered to them because the plant could prove significant foreign influence in the affairs of the mill. How that statement haunts me; running through my mind on an endless loop.  

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unexpected failures in the field

Finally, I have time to stop and think about the day's events. Leon and I met our ambassador last week on Friday for the first time, and today we met up with him again to take to the streets during city uprising. City Uprising in it's entirety is a threefold event filled with community service. Today focused on strategically placing free clinics around the baltimore city area. Stationed at Payne Memorial, I noticed the lack of foot traffic. That is, I imagined an atmosphere full of chaos. However, instead the constant buzz and chatter kept volunteers busy and lively. For four hours leon and I interviewed volunteers and shot b roll. these simple interviews gave insight into the motives of volunteers coming from as far as California. While we got a bit of footage documenting the volunteers Leon and I soon realized the lack of footage with our ambassador. Unfortunately, due to time constraints he only volunteered for about an hour. We immediately took to the streets and began spreading the word. After an hour, Our ambassador, M, told us he had to leave. Not until we began to pack up our equipment did the doubt creep in. We hadn't interviewed M about his experience at city uprising. Rather, the bulk of our film consisted of interviews with volunteers. In the car, Leon and I discussed our frustrations and concerns. Had we accomplished what we wanted to? Well, not exactly. It seemed our goal to document city uprising through M's eyes wasn't realized. Our footage reflected more of a general documentation of the ongoing activities at city uprising. Practicing the gathering of ethnographic data is much harder in practice than in theory. How easily we got distracted by simply following M make his way through the neighborhoods. While I think we produced some really nice footage today there exists a fear that we did fail because we didn't accomplish our goal. I don't doubt though that we documented something of value. The field is unpredictable. That being said, experience is the best teacher. 

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5 senses Ethnography

rhythmic chirping plays as a background for the yelps and shrieks of the neighborhood dogs. they warble in a chorus of bass and baritone claiming their arbitrary territory decided upon by their pack leaders, smooth skinned bipeds. Those men and women who surround themselves by nature contained in units. Land scarred by wooden barriers warning others to keep out or perhaps keep themselves in.  Each rules his lot like his own kingdom and others do not questions. Only the free animals unmarked by metal tokens clanging in high frequencies as they walk are granted free passage. But there is a price to pay for their freedom. organic homes made of pine and oak don't offer refuge from the coming onslaught of rain. Though the air currently coddles my skin in pleasurable warmth, the skies give fair warning to turmoil ahead, painting  the once opaque ceiling in a mix of bruised grays and charcoal. humming of motors pulses in the distance functioning as the only clue these houses have yet to be abandoned as ruins of a past society. 

  the ABW crew was tasked with writing an ethnography heavily influenced on our five senses. While I understand the need for descriptive language I have to admit I was completely turned off by this assignment. we were instructed to take influence and inspiration from our favorite novels and then use descriptive language to capture our experiences so that the reader may be transported to that world. While I find it's important to craft a text which allows for visualization, one must remember the importance of analyzation of data or cultural phenomena. Beautiful text won't hold water in relation to anthropological and academic work if the work is devoid of meaning. That being said, obviously the written word is more palatable when injected with active verbs and rich adjectives. tread lightly. 

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These photos show only some of the posters and materials kept and offered inside one of the medical examination rooms. I took my HIV test surrounded by these types of materials and information.  "DO TODAY SO TOMORROW WILL BE BETTER THAN YESTERDAY."

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in the board room of Jacques a few images read left to right starting with a community in Africa and ending with a march/rally in a US city. Mr M, our ambassador referenced the wall juxtaposed with different communities though both affected by HIV. While M kept reiterating how easy it was for people here at Jacques to receive medicine for HIV, in Africa getting medication isn't always as simple.

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Reflections on Meeting Mr. M

After waiting impatiently, Leon and I spent the later half of our day meeting with our Jacques Ambassador. Though yesterday and today were fraught with minor miscommunications concerning when and where to meet Mr. M, everything turned out just fine. Mr. M greeted both of us warmly with a hug and even told us explicitly his intent to treat us like his sister or brother respectively. Though Mr. M has participated and each iteration of Anthropology By the Wire, I was taken aback at his willingness and his lack of skepticism. With virtually no prodding M started explaining the multitude of services and programs offered by the Jacques  clinic. His enthusiasm boundless, M called out and introduced us to every single person who passed by the board room we sat in. His charisma and love for not only the people but the institution itself amazed me. True, M had said he began frequenting Jacques a while ago, but still how could he possibly know and love all of these people? simply put M's strength, determination, and optimism allow him to put aside his frustrations and work for the greater good. I'm sure M would agree that his time at Jacques has played an integral role in maintaining and attaining his level of optimism. unfortunately, Leon and I only spent an hour with M as he had been at Jacques participating in a seminar earlier that day. Coupled with his new job, we had to make due with a brief meeting. Though he assured us we'd get plenty of audio and visual materials for our video. I've yet to truly comprehend the immediate relationship and bond built today. My wish for our sub-unit is the following: to create and foster a relationship which continues to flourish even after ABW is over. Ethnography should not be a static and contained process. Rather we should continue those relationships that have grown out of sincere questioning. After all the goal is to understand and better the human condition. How can we be so callous as to terminate a relationship because our time in the field is over? I'd go so far as to say neglecting those we've collaborated with is not only cruel but misaligned with our core ethical beliefs. 

After M left both Leon and I opted to take the 20 minute oral swab. as Mr. M said how can you go out on city uprising, or each Thursday, offering free HIV tests without being checked yourself? Anecdotally, M recounted the many passerbys who had asked the very same question he rhetorically posed to us. He had a point; if I cared so much about breaking stereotypes and supported the medical services at Jacques why wouldn't I myself become part of the solution? During our initial meeting Mr. C, another ambassador, had mentioned in passing to me and a few other girls in ABW about getting tested. Though I answered in earnest that I wouldn't mind, later reflection brought up my apprehension. Like most peoples I myself engage in risky behavior not just as far as contracting STDs but in every day life. Life in itself is a risk, it is up to the individual to assess and decide which risks we will undergo ourselves. Still, whether or not one has HIV will not be determined through an oral swab; that is the virus is either coursing through your blood stream or not. No test can change what has already happened to your body. Therefore testing for any illness only enlightens the host and clears him of all possible denial. Quickly and painlessly the nurse had me swipe the plastic test kit over the top and bottom row of my gums. She asked questions based on my gender, sex, race, and behaviors which would increase my risk to exposure and contraction. as the test continued to develop we conversed saying something along the lines of "you and your partner should get tested together. Make it part of your relationship because you care about each other." Getting tested should be a part of everyone's routine check up. As an (almost) 20 year old I have never been offered to get tested for HIV up until two weeks ago at ABW's meeting with the Jacques ambassadors. While my personal choices might have kept me out of risk, plenty of other people my age engage in other behaviors. Regardless, our doctors should recognize that he has an integral role in introducing his patients and offering his patients an HIV test. A constant dialogue needs to be put in place.

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As one of our three main projects during our time at Towson University, Anthropology By the Wire collectively interviewed two former workers from RG Steel. In seeking to piece together the ramifications of deindustrialization in Baltimore City, ABW sought out former workers of one of the biggest factories in Baltimore. My time sifting through the archives at Enoch Pratt Library gave insight to the mammoth company that was the steel industry in sparrow's point. Newspaper clippings spanning from the late 1930s to the 60s or 70s comprised the majority of the archival resources. In 1938 a local newspaper quoted Mr. Abel Wolman stating, "this plant is one of the big ten in the united states..." As for the plant's presence in the state of Maryland, the article summarizes concisely and dramatically, "the iron and steel industry is surpassed only by the building industry in providing employment in the state." All in all the tone of the article presents Bethlehem Steel as a forced to be reckoned with, employment rates and growth continued to skyrocket even through the depression in relation to other industries nationwide. Twelve years later in February of 1950, another local newspaper featured sparrows point steel referencing the companies announcement to begin a 30,000,000 expansion program. The media raved over the success of the steel industry and continued to chart it's success throughout the years. 

Our current economy no longer depends as heavily on the blue collar worker, rather an army of the white collar worker has invaded and begun transforming the definition of the workforce. With the unemployment of thousands of employees comes not only a slew of economic troubles but a multitude of social and health problems. The majority of workers at RG Steel come from a long line of steel workers; the plant represents a a second home, provides another family, and gives a sense of identity to many if not all of the workers. Being tied to workers' family history only complicates the american perception of identity in that it seems one's profession is his identity. The ABW crew collectively interviewed two former employees of RG Steel in preparation or as a pre-interview for our individual interviews with other former union workers of RG Steel. Hopefully, this type of interaction will better prepare us in developing questions which will expose the impact of the rampant deindustrialization focusing on RG Steel as our case study. 

Recently, RG Steel has been shut down. Through all the management changes (buyouts) and layoffs RG Steel simply couldn't survive. Mike and Chris patiently answered our questions, and I currently feel more confident in our planed interactions for monday. Mike and Chris, whether they realize or not, have given me an insight on the mentality of RG Steel's former employees. While I appreciate Chris and Mike for taking time out of their schedule to meet with us I've been left with a daunting task as it seemed Chris was rather skeptical in collaborating with ABW. In his introduction he mentioned in passing his initial reluctance in agreeing to yet another interview. After all, no one has yet captured the true story of RG Steel he asserted. I hope I can not only capture but also publicize the story my assigned participant wants to tell. Ethically, as an anthropologist, one must strive to represent his participant as authentically as possible, but this task weighs heavily on my mind as Chris's disappointment in previous reports was palpable. During the data collection, anthropologists take from their participants. Anthropologists require time and information from participants and though participants give consent, the nature of the relationship is, at least in the beginning, beneficial mostly to the anthropologist. At the end of our work though, we strive to give back to the community we have taken so much from. The relationship transforms into a symbiotic one. How much more so do I feel the pressures of reciprocating after Chris gave each and every one of us the above pictured cultural artifact of Bethlehem Steel. 

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living conditions in dundalk

Where eastern avenue meets dundalk avenue the diversity of businesses comes to a halt. The main drag houses few restaurants, religious, or medical centers. Other businesses included real estate offices, a few different insurance companies, a home appliance store, bail bonds, a few convenience stores, three different car dealerships, etc. sign on private businesses used both Spanish and English to disseminate information among clients. In this seemingly overwhelming Hispanic community no markets were present. Rather food options included chinese takeout, takeout pizza, wendy's, dunkin donuts, and other fast food/ nutritionally void substances. It's a wonder people live in the area for it seemed that almost all of the everyday needs couldn't be met in the surrounding area. As I mentioned, food options are slim and promote obesity and nutrition deficiencies. Health establishments included a dental office and I believe a suite for physical therapy. Other options for healthcare seemed to be focused in bayview medical center. religious, educational, and recreational centers are also among the list of absent institutions. Transportation, though mainly limited to the bus system, allows users to travel all the way from fellspoint to catonsville. Which to me indicates the necessity of leaving the surrounding area for goods and services which can't be acquired in the immediate area. Driving back towards broadway and Patterson Park I couldn't help but to note all of the bustling businesses only a mile or two away from dundalk avenue. Restaurants offering various cuisines populated the streets. Theaters, clothing stores, pharmacies, churches, kids centers dominated the area. A few miles, made all the difference from languishing neighborhood to destination spot. But therein lies the key: the signs, public establishments all make for a beautiful tourist spot around Patterson Park. One is invited to explore Patterson Park, to continue towards the shot tower, camden yards, and fells point. But to continue towards the Steelworkers Union Hall? not unless you're passing by hoping to get on 95. residents are forced to occupy a backseat, to hide and reside in an impenetrable community. 

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residential guilt

Yesterday the Anthropology By the Wire cohort participated in another walking tour of Baltimore City through a non-profit, Baltimore Heritage. While our first tour  centered around Upton and it's segregation, yesterday's lecture focused on Charles street plaza and the diffusion of retail stores in the surrounding area. The more history of Baltimore city I come in contact with, the more I'm pushed to analyze my life as a resident of Baltimore county. of my own family history, I knew we had a long history of living within the city. As a child, my father, stoic and   introverted, rarely brought up his childhood in the inner-city; he preferred to focus on the here and now. Only once did he offer to drive past the empty lot overcome with tall grass where his family home used to stand. I had stories, fragments of my father's nostalgia, to piece together my father's time as an adolescent in the inner-city. From my mother's stories I knew as a new teacher she started off teaching for Baltimore City Public Schools. Though she rarely discussed her time teaching in Baltimore City, I knew my parents lived around Patterson Park as they'd take the dog for daily walks there. Still, the only information offered seemed to be the landmark Patterson Park, other observations never seemed to make it into the story they wanted to tell. For at least twenty-two years my parents lived in the inner city, but with my mother's first pregnancy my parents quickly moved to the county.

A week or so into the project my mother asked what we had been doing and I explained the deindustrialization and gentrification of Baltimore city. My mother listened to theories until the subject of gentrification where she quickly chimed in, "I know what gentrification is, we lived in a gentrified neighborhood." We've been learning the issues for inner city residents when dealing with urban renewal and gentrification. Was it wrong of my parents to move? If we say yes we take away their liberties to leave and search a place they prefer. If we say no then who do we give the responsibility to believe in and continue to grow our city?

I've lived my whole life in the same house down in Baltimore county because my parents decided to leave the city. For a while I felt guilt in being a part of "those people" who abandoned the city. I've always known I wasn't a city girl; I never liked the cramped quarters, the smell of the air, the noise, etc. The convenience of location could never outweigh my love of nature, silence, and privacy. Finally, I've come to the conclusion that my dislike of city life represents a preference for an alternative lifestyles and not a disdain for the history, culture, or existence of the city. While I'd certainly be unhappy living in a city for an extended period of time, I'd also be less than thrilled at the prospect of living in suburbia. living in a neighborhood in owingsmills or pikesville would feel congested. I don't need that sense of community to be happy. Therefore, it is not that I've targeted city life, rather that I dislike any living situation other than the one I currently participate in. 

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Father's Day Cards and Eskimo Kinship

Today marks the commercialized day of celebrating fathers and father figures in our society. This cyclical ritual though highly commercialized still holds value as people flock to buy hallmark cards expressing their gratitude and admiration for their father. Though this year my family is unable to practice some of the popular practices of going out to eat or hosting a party in the home, I noticed the fallback is always to simply buy a card, a printed heartfelt message that the buyer may select from the wall of numerous cards of the same genre. regardless of one's like or dislike of the exchange of a ready-prepared card, the card acts as a marker of celebration. After all, even young kids learn to make cards, draw pictures, write notes to their loved ones on birthdays, father's day, mother's day, etc.  Though many give hallmark the credit of implementing and inventing father's day, one finds deeper insight into our society through delving into kinship patterns. Anthropologists classify kinship patterns based off of six models, these models graph the relation of the self or "ego" to the other members of his family based on gender and generation. Europe, the US, Canada, and other countries use the Eskimo kinship pattern. This means that regardless of gender we use emic terms to classify members of our family. Distinctions in titles appear in generations. For example, our Mother's and Father's parents are both classified as grandparents. the term "uncle" and "aunt" can be applied to both our maternal and paternal relatives in the generation before ego. Our kinship pattern allows for a holiday devoted to fathers. Other kinship patterns, like the Hawaiian model, don't necessarily distinguish ego's biological father from what we call uncles. Therefore all males in the generation directly above ego are termed Father. While people may sneer at the idea of father's day, it's important to recognize this type of holiday as a manifestation of our kinship pattern. 

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This Flickr pool is a collection of photos of ‘abandoned’ Baltimore. A fair amount of the photos are of buildings decorated with beautiful graffiti, a sign that they are perhaps not as abandoned as the Flickr pool would have you believe.

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I couldn't help but to click the link after reading my colleague's description of the flickr group entitled "The Abandoned Baltimore." I scrolled through some of the  aesthetically stunning photographs, read the group's statement and even the discussion topics and felt the need to elaborate. First to dissect the mission statement which states,

"This group is all about abandoned Baltimore. It's about the sectors of Baltimore that resemble bombed out warzones, where there is not an occupied house for miles and trash and crack viles litter the curbs! It's about the side of Baltimore that visitors don't see... unless they get lost! It's about that strange, car-accident like beauty that this city has. Come on, you know what I'm talking about! BELIEVE!"  

already group members have identified the ambiance of inner city Baltimore to be that of a war zone, one that exists due to racial tensions, substance abuse, socioeconomic status, and a rich history of deindustrialization. It's the side of town visitors don't see, "unless they get lost." These assertions all ring true after studying the collapse of factories and housing in Baltimore city. With that knowledge what is the response of The Abandoned Baltimore? to borrow a concept explained by one of our senior research assistants, it seems to me herein lies a case of "disaster tourism." Pictures uploaded to the flickr group don't offer historical context nor do they offer a reference to location outside of the generalized term Baltimore City. Compositionally, the photographs are stunning, the subject manner seeks to evoke emotion and the lighting, resolution, etc all ease the viewer into the interpretation of a dilapidated city. graffiti features disgruntled Black men, women, and children. While other shots include abandoned factories highlighting rusted gears and levers.

 Looking for some kind of meaning I turned to the discussion boards . The only two threads which were updated within the past two weeks discuss where other aspiring photographers can capture the same types of images (a list of abandoned buildings,) and "where (not) to go." The agenda of The Abandoned Baltimore seems to be to mass produce these cookie cutter photos of disaster areas of Baltimore city. Among the responses of the thread titled "where (not) to go" racism runs rampant. Any form of understanding the Other have been pushed to the wayside. Instead, the group simply perpetuates the myths of trouble areas in the inner city. Note that the other discussion topics haven't been updated in more than a year. 

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the omniscient camera

The past two days have included condensed courses in audio and video documentaries. as one of the goals for Anthropology by the Wire, research students are to create a video documentary featuring their ambassador at the Jacques Initiative. As fledgling film makers we are warned of the common mistake of hiding behind our electronic devices. that is, we are not to believe that simply turning on the camera allows us to take a passive role in collecting footage. For the lens of the camera does not act as a magnet pulling to it all of the important visual information we seek to capture. as a society many of us subscribe to the popular phrase, "seeing is believing." Those that say otherwise or devalue the impact the image has on the way we process information lives in denial. We are taught to assess and rely heavily on our sight in everyday life that the moving or still image instantly speaks to us as Truth. Therefore, we must not only be careful when viewing someone else's documentary  but also when creating our own. Not all viewers take an active role in critiquing or analyzing a finished film. As anthropologists then we have a moral and ethical responsibility, which is increased exponentially in visual anthropology, to our informants to represent them as truthfully as possible. If we over edit we run the risk of distorting the truth our informant wished to make known. 

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strife in ethnography

In learning how to properly create an audio documentary, our guest lecturer Ms. Lankford had us listen to a number of published and sometimes credited audio documentaries. "Witness to an Execution" premiered October 20, 2000 on the radio show "All Things Considered." The documentary features a number of corrections officers at the jail in Huntsville, Texas. Hearing the nonchalant descriptions of restraining prisoners on death row who have only minutes to live before they die of lethal injection made my stomach churn. I began to grow upset and even physically ill at the grotesque and triggering narration laid over the innocent and wholesome sound of acoustic guitar riffs. Here, I couldn't see the informants, still they were humanized beyond compare. And that brought me inner strife, my emotions and moral views clashed with the subject manner. I kept trying to abate my discomfort and settle my nerves, but I failed. questions and concerns continued to swirl in my mind, questions I've yet to find answers to. How, as anthropologists, do we conduct fieldwork and allow diverse voices to be heard if we feel so compelled  one way or the other for or against what our informants have to say? Do we mute those emotions which cause us anguish until after we have concluded our fieldwork, or do we even entertain those feelings at all? as anthropologists we pride ourselves in putting a human face to science; we live for the anecdotes demonstrating complexity in character and social dilemmas.  How then do we balance our own thoughts and feelings in order to least influence data collected? and more importantly, do we have an ethical and even personal responsibility to seek out those stories which make us uncomfortable? after all, we plead with others to understand the "other," to value every culture. How then can we turn our backs in disgust and moral outrage when confronted with subject manner we are compelled to disagree with through our core beliefs? 

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social stigma gone viral: HIV/AIDS

I'd like to start with the disclaimer that today's post will be sectioned off into three parts: the first containing my thoughts on the HIV 101 course, the other pertaining to meeting with ambassadors of the Jacques Initiative, and the last concerning the relationship between society's view on sexual activity and HIV/AIDS.  University of Maryland hosted yet another installment of it's HIV 101 this morning. The class comprised of law students, nursing students, and anthropology students covered not only the basics of HIV/AIDS but also delved into treatment and prevention methods. Many segments included statistical information which stressed the prevalence rate of HIV contraction in not only the state of Maryland but the Baltimore-Towson area. And while I don't deny the numbers are startling (1 in 40 adults, age 13 and older, are HIV positive within Baltimore City), I'd like to focus on the grander schemes of the presentation. Which as I think about it, I'm not even entirely sure I liked or agreed with the overarching themes, or rather how they were presented. I found some of the presentation to be very condescending, and at times even a little arrogant (ie look at how we're going to help the unfortunate and  downtrodden people.) Perhaps it's my tendency as an anthropologist to want to humanize and contextualize to a fault. Without a doubt the saving grace had to have been the mini lectures given by Kate and Hazel; their warmth, expertise, and passion was palpable. For the first time in the entire presentation I experienced an ease to the underlying tension which appears when talking about HIV/AIDS. Both of their presentations lit a fire, rang a bell, uncovered truths I'd been waiting to hear. Ms. Hazel put it best, "there's no cure for diabetes." and obviously no stigma exists when we see someone test their blood sugar. We don't prod them or blame them, instead we probably filter out that unnecessary information; we couldn't care less. Rather, we go above and beyond to make sure they're okay, that they don't need anything to eat or drink etc. Furthermore when Kate starting talking I could hardly contain my excitement. The way she understood the struggles of LGBTQ youth was so endearing and comforting not only because HIV/AIDS has historically been a "Gay Disease," but also because her presentation spoke to me on a personal level. I could hardly fathom how this adult women possessed the capacity to care so much as to really dissect the surrounding issues of LGBTQ youth and how these social issues lead to the contraction of HIV. I'm so very pleased to say I made sure to get her contact information. So, why was I left unsatisfied with most of HIV 101? because we did exactly what we blamed the Washington Post for, nothing. We sat and theorized and talked about the differences we will make. What differences? I'm quite positive each student attending the lecture has a set path in joining efforts to help ease the effects of living with HIV/AIDS but lets not pretend HIV 101 played a part in setting that up. 

"God has brought them all under one house." That quote haunts me. said by the women sitting only three seats down from me, her power and truth remain virtually impenetrable. I commend each and every single ambassador who met with us today at the Jacques Initiative, not for being HIV positive but for resisting the human urge to ignore outsiders. Truly, every ambassador not only welcomed us but immediately bared their souls so to speak in telling us some of their most private and intimate truths. While I'd love to impart every story told today I'm sure I wouldn't do them justice. Instead I'd like to focus on a couple points brought up a few times which left me in a state of confusion and mental unrest. The first being the saying which goes something like "I am blessed to have HIV." which is to say by the grace of God, He has bestowed upon them a special role in their lifetime. To try to remove stigma from HIV/AIDS, to state that God has faced them with a test, even to say they are living the best life with HIV/AIDS I can comprehend and make logic of. But to be blessed? My faith is rather flexible, that is, it comes and goes and still for one so devout to say one is blessed by a virus which is trying to destroy and ravage their bodies I've yet to come to terms with. I hope I can reach their state of mind, because to grapple with this loaded statement only begets frustration on my part. Secondly, I'd like to address the role faith based institutions play in the role of information dissemination and HIV/AIDS prevention. Rather I'll turn the tables and instead ask the readers to think long and hard about why those institutions feel compelled to join the outreach community and whether or not faith based institutions would play such a crucial role if the government made better policies for those seeking treatment and holistic care while living with HIV/AIDS.

Lastly, I'd just like to spend a few brief sentences discussing the problem, as I see it, surrounding the demonetization of HIV/AIDS.  HIV/AIDS can only be passed through semen, vaginal fluids, blood, and breast milk. That being said most likely one comes into contact with semen and vaginal fluids when engaging in sexual activities. Unfortunately our current society is not only sex crazed but also passes artificial and arbitrary judgement based on the sexual activity of others regardless of gender identity or sexual orientation. We are made, by society, to be ashamed of the human form and our private sexual engagements.  Therefore when one contracts a diseased which is spread by such intimate contact it is no wonder the public instantly blames and alienates the infected. HIV has become a marker of promiscuous unbecoming behavior, behavior we don't want to teach our kids about or discuss at length with anyone. How then do we combat this unfair dehumanizing attitude towards people with HIV? I assert that one of our missions must not just be to show HIV for what it is, a virus, but to also change the attitudes of the human body and sexual activity. When we as a society no longer concern ourselves with how many partners or what kind of people our neighbors are having sex with we will no longer view the contraction of HIV as a disease of the immoral.