irish eyes are smiling

kian mcgrath. 37. all ireland champ. big brother.

[starringezrawalker]

↳INSTAGRAM: @ezrawalker uploaded a photo:

Funemployed.

[kianmcgrath]

@kmcgrath7 liked this post. @kmcgrath7 unliked this post. @kmcgrath7 set his account to private.

[shatteredgossip]

@officialharryabel: Oh dear! Sad as any situation like this is, it’s always validating when the real backstage primadonna is confirmed 😂

[kianmcgrath]

@kmcgrath7: @officialharryabel I genuinely hope one of these nights some poor bastard switches the prop out for a real knife you weaselly little cunt

[shatteredgossip]

↳INSTAGRAM: @broadwaycom uploaded a photo:

Ezra Walker has exited Andrew McGrath’s A LITTLE LIFE due to what has been cited as ‘creative differences’ by the show’s producer. Understudy Jack Carmichael will be taking on the role of Willem until Ezra’s replacement has been confirmed.

Link to the full article in our bio!

[kianmcgrath]

@kmcgrath7: What?

[cloudyquinn]

↳INSTAGRAM: @declanquinnwtv uploaded a photo:

Weather report: too fucking hot. Photo by Emily.

[kianmcgrath]

@kmcgrath7: Shall we get some beers in and write it off?

[kianmcgrath]

To say that there wasn’t a label for what Kian and Ezra were to each other would be disingenuous. Boyfriends. That would be the word some landed on. In fact, it was the word that Missy and Rory loved to teasingly throw around as they goaded him into trying to tell them something, anything, about his relationship with Ezra. He didn’t bite, given it was none of their flaming business, but the word echoed around in his mind more frequently than not. He’d never thought it was possible for someone to be out and then back in again, but Dublin and New York were worlds apart, and the life he’d lead back home had been forcibly exposed. New York was a second chance for him to try again. 

“Ah, there he is. The star of the show,” Kian’s voice boomed loudly across the room as Ezra walked through the door. 

It was a little showy, which wasn’t usually his style. But with Harry entering just behind Ezra, he couldn’t help himself. They both knew that Ezra’s ex hated reminders that he was nothing but a shadow in the light of Ezra’s success, and thanks to the current bout of press circulating, as well as online critics and reviews, he seemed to be hearing it regularly. It sent a thrill down Kian’s spine, just knowing it was getting under his skin. 

With the show marking their 100th performance, Kian had been welcomed backstage to join their cast and crew party to celebrate the achievement. Usually, he’d be a little more reserved, but he was a familiar face around here now, and they all knew without really knowing that he was someone special to Ezra. He wouldn’t have missed it for the world and – with Luca’s intel that their father was still in London overseeing a disaster at his latest production of Cats – Kian felt more relaxed as he welcomed Ezra into his warm embrace, arms circling the other man’s waist before he pressed a chaste kiss to his mouth. 

“You were perfect, as always. Harry was shite, as always,” he teased, nuzzling his nose against the other man’s stubbled jaw. He didn’t mind the prying eyes too much, though he’d keep the PDA to a bare minimum if he could. He trusted most, if not all of Ezra’s castmates to keep schtum about their relationship. Word still hadn’t gotten back to his father, and as much as some of his own friends had a habit of overstepping the mark through instagram comments and tweets, his private life was still mostly private. 

Because if there was one thing Kian knew about theatre fans it was that they were fucking relentless. Luca had once spent hours – hours that Kian would never get back, mind you – waffling on about something or another called a Reeva, detailing the ins and outs of their indiscretions and the online shitstorm that had followed. Kian hadn’t cared then. But Kian hadn’t also been sort-of dating a Broadway superstar at the time, either. He knew that there were risks to being so open, and that any minute now some miserable bastard who thought themselves the next big ‘influencer’ would out him on Broadway’s answer to Deux Moi.  For now, he’d enjoy the brief reprieve and kiss his sort-of boyfriend silly. 

“A little birdy told me that Kim’s ordered a whole crate of wine to your place for later,” he told him, knowing full well the other man’s best friend had him under strict orders to ensure it all arrived in one piece. “I’d say she reckons we’ve nothing better to do than stay in bed and get drunk. Sounds like a plan to me.” 

[drmissymaclean]

↳INSTAGRAM: @missymac uploaded to their story.

[kianmcgrath]

@kmcgrath7: Rory and Bonnie are scrapping over you again. She's called him a gobshite at least 3 times and I need you to understand how rotten that sounds in the Yank accent.

[twoscoopskeegan]

↳INSTAGRAM: @keegswalsh posted to their story:

lando brought wee mojito into the shop today and fuck it cleo needs a cat. where do i get one????

[kianmcgrath]

@kmcgrath7: Ask @jollyollywalker

[starringezrawalker]

There was an unpleasant sort of irony about the fact that Ezra was standing in a bar he’d once heralded as New York’s Number One Biohazard Trap, and was now all too willing to let the man he was kissing shove him to his knees so he could take him in his mouth. He wasn’t sure they actually had enough time for that, although it was probably the inappropriateness of this being Kian’s workplace that he should have been focusing on, but the fact is he would. How the mighty have fallen, he could almost hear Hannah’s smug voice croon.

And oh, Ezra had most certainly fallen.

He let his head fall back, gently thunking against the door behind him. A soft smile crossed his face as he stared at Kian, no ego in his expression. For once, Ezra was happy to just let himself be without performing for someone. 

He liked Kian, so terribly much. And if the other man was being open about the fact that he liked Ezra back, why should either of them bother to hide it in the safety of the keg room. It wasn’t a place he imagined had been witness to declarations like this, what with the strong smell of Guinness wafting up from the barrels and puddles of sticky liquid surrounding their feet. But it was a room that kept them safe from prying eyes and, perhaps for the first time in his life, Ezra wasn’t in the mood to be picky.

“I don’t know,” Ezra said with a gentleness he wasn’t used to. He reached up to slide Kian’s mask from his eyes to his forehead. His touch was… Well, embarrassingly, the only word that could really be applied was reverent. “I think your eyes are quite something. When I can see them properly.”

His cheeks dimpled as he smiled at Kian, leaning in again and stopping just short of the other man’s mouth.

“I like you too. An awful lot,” he confessed before leaning in to kiss him. His hands found Kian’s waist again and he tugged him closer, eyes falling shut. Something settled in his chest as he kissed the other man, and he felt a calm that he hadn’t felt since the early days of, ugh, Harry. But this was different. This was good, right?

“I like your frown when you get frustrated with me,” he muttered, the corners of his mouth tugging upwards as he trailed kisses along Kian’s cheek. “And how much lip you give Harry. He really doesn’t like you, you know.” Another kiss to the bridge of Kian’s nose. “And your accent. We know how much I like the accent.”

[kianmcgrath]

It was downright pathetic, the way the two of them were wrapped up in one another, two sappy bastards reciting all their favourite parts of each other. It should have been enough to cause Kian to spin on his heels and bolt. He wasn’t built for soft declarations, wasn’t built to be loved. Not that he was under any delusion that Ezra might love him, of course, but even the milder, more tame reality should have still been enough to set his pulse racing and trigger his singular flight response. 

The two had once despised each other, the mere mention or sight of the other enough to raise their hackles – if you could ignore the obvious, carnal desire that came hand in hand with such loathing. But now Kian couldn’t imagine his days without Ezra dithering about, bratty and altogether too dramatic, but still charming enough to ignite a spark in Kian’s chest. He huffed out a quiet laugh as he lifted a hand to nudge his feckless little mask a little higher on his face, pushing his cropped fringe back as the thin sheath of fabric rested against it. He supposed he could allow Ezra the delights of getting to see his eyes now that they were tucked away together, no prying eyes to concern themselves with. 

“How’s that for ye?” he murmured, lips parting into a doting smile as he playfully winked at Ezra. 

He welcomed the next kiss from Ezra just as greedily as the rest of them, lips parted and tongue gliding against the other man’s lower lip. He felt the gentle squeeze of something against his heart as the other man reciprocated his like, a familiar sensation that he’d been exposed to only one other time in his life. The last time it had ended badly, but that wouldn’t be the case here. They would patch each other up and mend the wounds that other men had inflicted upon them. They had to, right? 

“Just as well I’m always frustrated with you then,” Kian teased. 

It wasn’t entirely untrue. They could bicker for Ireland and America combined, and they did. But there were other frustrations, too. Kian relished the way that Ezra would edge him with just his tongue, stringing him along until he was writhing and groaning against the other man’s plush bedsheets and cursing his name. He knew just how to frustrate him in ways that left him begging for more. 

“I don’t want Harry to like me. I want Harry to hate my feckin’ guts while it keeps him up at night knowing it’s me that has you,” he smirked, sighing sweetly at the press of Ezra’s lips against each inch of his face. It wasn’t completely true, given that Kian wasn’t out and Harry was likely one of the last people on planet earth that he’d want to know he was gay, but he was giddy and delirious and all manner of sense was lost to him the moment he’d felt Ezra’s hands pressed to his waist. 

[renegaderobbie]

↳INSTAGRAM: @robbiecleverman uploaded a photo:

She wanted a picnic so she got a picnic 🙄

[kianmcgrath]

@kmcgrath7: Aul romantic.

[chocolatechipcora]

↳INSTAGRAM: @dancerbailey uploaded a photo:

Rach and I decided Colin’s job doesn’t look THAT hard.

[kianmcgrath]

@kmcgrath7: I second the motion that you should keep making men feel utterly useless. It's a good look on you, red.

[starringezrawalker]

Was Kian even aware of what he had just said?

If the casual way he bypassed acknowledging it was anything to go by, Ezra figured he simply couldn’t be. Surely, he should have noticed the way Ezra himself had been struck dumb into silence though. He was not a quiet man, and to have him rendered so speechless would almost certainly have helped Kian cotton onto something being… not wrong, as such. No, definitely wrong. But Ezra was reeling.

Obviously, the two of them liked each other well enough. Ezra was operating under no pretenses here. They were the only person the other was sleeping with and he doubted there were plans to change that soon. Labels, while something Ezra longed for, seemed to have no place in the inner workings of Kian’s mind, and so Ezra had allowed that one potential little win to slip away from him. He’d even surprised himself by how eagerly he had handed over control. Shockingly, he hadn’t needed the label of ‘boyfriend’ or ‘partner’ or anything else to reassure himself that Kian was perhaps all-in with him. The other man’s behaviour had been enough. 

But Kian liked him. Had admitted it like it was nothing, as if he were merely commenting on the weather.

Ezra stared at the other man as he walked backwards to the door behind the bar, beckoning Ezra to follow him with a come hither motion that nearly undid him right then and there.

He swallowed roughly, pushing back from the countertop and making his way around the bar. He wasn’t actually sure if there was anyone around to cover for Kian right now, but it wasn’t something he gave any sort of particular fuck about. Not when he was straining against these stupid leggings, and the man he was mad about was telling him he liked him.

He slipped into the keg room after Kian and, as soon as the door was shut behind them, he had the other man pressed up against it.

Ezra’s mouth left a trail of blazing kisses over Kian’s jaw before he sealed their mouths together. Inhaling through his nose, his hands fit against Kian’s hips as he kissed him, deep and slow.

“You like me?” he asked, pulling back slightly. 

Ezra wasn't asking for confirmation. He knew Kian liked him. He was double checking that Kian knew he’d said it out loud, that he was comfortable with Ezra hearing him utter a declaration like that.

[kianmcgrath]

There was something very sweet and uncharacteristic about the confused look Ezra was currently wearing. Not that it was totally out of the ordinary for him to look at Kian with any look that belonged on the spectrum anywhere between annoyance and bewilderment, of course, but this was different. He seemed surprised by Kian’s eagerness, almost tentative even. Something swelled inside the bartender’s chest as he smirked, his gaze heated and filled with lust as he awaited the other man’s presence beside him. 

The moment Ezra was close enough for the door to swing shut behind him, Kian had the other man pushed up against it. His own pants felt tight as his erection strained against the fabric, but he ignored the throbbing sensation to surge forward and pepper Ezra’s jaw with kisses, his teeth dragging indelicately against the other man’s stubble. He drew back long enough to take a breath, a delighted laugh spilling from his lips as he felt Ezra return the favour, repaying him kind with kisses of his own before their lips finally met, their tongues gliding against each other. Kian rocked his hips gently at the fell of the other man’s hands, enjoying the easy way the two of them seemed to melt into each other’s touch. 

“What?” Kian murmured, the question floating through the air. Like seemed almost juvenile, but there was truly no other word for how Kian felt right about now. Not one that would do the current state of their relationship justice, not one that didn’t feel to heavy and out of place on his tongue. Besotted came to mind, maybe even smitten. He wouldn’t be caught dead admitting that to Ezra, though, mostly because he’d never used those words in his life. 

Truthfully, admitting so openly that he liked Ezra had probably been a great cock up on his end, one he hadn’t quite come to terms with. But there was something a little freeing about their current situation, the slither of a mask that guarded Kian’s face from the full view of his punters, his appearance only partially obscured, but enough to fill him with a bizarre amount of confidence. Andrew McGrath wouldn’t dream of stepping foot in The Black Dog, but it was still the sort of establishment that welcomed all sorts of patrons. He’d heard his fair share of slurs uttered casually from one customer to another, all while wiping down a bar top or pulling a pint. He didn’t like to invite that sort of trouble into his personal life, no matter how much he was enjoying his time with Ezra. Not now, not after everything. 

Tonight, though, he could be anybody he wanted to be. 

He gazed back at Ezra, who was now looking at him with a glint in his eye, a glimmer of hope as he sought out confirmation from Kian. He could give him that, even if only for tonight. There was nobody to hide from, not tucked away in the keg room with a pretty man holding him close and keeping him warm. 

“I like you, yeah,” he breathed, cheeks burning hot. Kian McGrath wasn’t prone to blushing, not usually. “I like your gorgeous little mouth and your ridiculous feckin’ smarm and your eyes that are somehow utterly to fuckin’ die for despite being the same colour as my own.” 

[raffertyreyes]

↳INSTAGRAM: @raffreyes uploaded a photo:

Maria sent me these to ‘prove I needed a haircut’ then told me to put it to a vote.

[kianmcgrath]

@kmcgrath7: I think it suits ya.

[ariadnebyanyothername]

↳INSTAGRAM: @stageyhalliday uploaded a photo:

Addie and I spent the day picking flowers for the future Silly wedding. How do we feel about Spring, @billymchale?

[kianmcgrath]

@kmcgrath7: When 'dyou become such a romantic?

[starringezrawalker]

↳INSTAGRAM: @ezrawalker uploaded a photo:

Valentines Day.

[kianmcgrath]

@kmcgrath7 liked this post. @kmcgrath7: Very cute.

[raffertyreyes]

↳INSTAGRAM: @raffreyes uploaded a photo:

Writing a song about how much I fuckin’ hate ICE. No, not the weather.

[kianmcgrath]

@kcmgrath7: That's the good stuff

[starringezrawalker]

Loathe as he was to admit it, Ezra had terrible, terrible fantasies of Kian being just that – the jealous type. Not so much because he had plans to rile the other man up by chasing someone else just to see if it would turn Kian’s face that delightful shade of purple-red. Really, he’d just romanticized the idea of Kian being upset by the threat of losing him. Before, he could only imagine it would be a relief for the other man, as it had been for so many others. Now, things between them had changed, so could he really be blamed if he had briefly daydreamed about Kian getting a little territorial with him?

He didn’t have time to provide Kian with a snappy retort, as the other man was already leaning in and kissing him.

Ezra’s eyes fluttered shut, one hand raising from the sticky bartop to slide into Kian’s cropped hair. The noise of The Black Dog faded into a static buzz; he was still vaguely aware that there were people around them, but if Kian didn’t care that they could be seen and perceived right now, then Ezra hardly had any qualms about it.

Smiling into the kiss, he parted his lips, his tongue licking into Kian’s mouth in a way that had him eager to press himself further against the counter, lest his leggings loudly announce just how affected he was.

“It’s quite unfortunate how much I happen to like…” He trailed off as they pulled apart to breathe. His eyes darted between Kian’s and he decided he didn’t want to ruin a good thing with a declaration that might sour Kian’s mood, deciding to play it safe.

“Kissing you,” he finished.

Leaning forward again to brush a quick peck against Kian’s mouth, he dropped his voice low as his lips skimmed the other man’s cheek, reaching the shell of his ear.

“And you’re sure you can’t have your way with me in the keg room?” he asked, chancing his luck.

[kianmcgrath]

Kian’s first thought when Ezra slipped his tongue past his lips was that he was eternally grateful there was a bar separating the two of them. Mask or no mask, he didn’t think it made for good business if patrons wandered in and saw their bartender bricked up to the nines. The second thought he had was that he wished he could do this forever. 

The realisation was like an electric shot to his heart. 

Kian didn’t do relationships. Kian had done one relationship – if you could even call it that – and it had hospitalised him and ended his career. And it wasn’t as though he thought Ezra was ever capable of hurting him like that, emotionally or physically, but the truth was far more terrifying than that. In reality, Kian knew without a shadow of a doubt that he had it in him to hurt Ezra in all the ways he’d been trying to protect himself from, and it scared him to no end. 

But they were kissing and it was nice, it was safe. Kian had to keep reminding himself that it was safe. He was safe. There were a million and one things about Ezra that he could choose to flag as unsavoury or unsuited to him, but the taste of his mouth against Kian’s and the feel of his fingers in his hair didn’t come close. In fact, it was the press of his mouth against the bartender’s cheek that helped to steady his heartrate, to soothe the fresh wave of panic that had threatened to take hold of him. 

“Just as well I like you and I don’t plan to stop then, hm?” he managed to breathe, the words soft as they lingered between the two of them. 

Unbeknownst to Kian, he’d just plainly handed over an admission so sacred that it might become his very own undoing. Or perhaps it would be the best thing that ever happened to him. 

A sound caught in his throat, somewhere between a laugh and a groan, as he shook his head at the posh wanker he’d become so endeared by. Now would be the perfect time to pull away and get back to work, but he’d always struggled to stay away from Ezra. Even when the two of them had loathed each other completely, they’d still found ways to obsess over one another. 

“Ah, sure, I suppose the bar can survive a half an hour or so without me, don’t ye think?” he grinned, finally relenting with a wink before slowly backing away from the bar. His lips melted into a playful smirk as he beckoned the other man over, shouldering the door behind the bar open as he awaited his pretty little thief. 

[nashcrafts]

↳INSTAGRAM: @littlelisanash uploaded a photo:

Throwback to NYE when I looked very hot and it actually paid off but I have nothing to show for it because I am the world’s most useless lesbian who forgets to ask for people’s numbers in the morning. Sorry not sorry for treating Instagram like my diary.

[kianmcgrath]

@kmcgrath7: Are you just hoping you'll miraculously show up on her feed and live happily ever after?