“i wouldn’t wanna share such a special moment when anyone else,” he teases, but despite the playfulness in his tone, he means it. whenever kian gave seojun any bit of his attention, it felt like a privilege, and he never knew how long it’d last. he assumed that’s why kian left for days at a time. out of boredom. “must be,” he responds with a grin, listening to his words as he continued, agreeing with each word that he said. “i feel bad for the people who choose to let it stop them,” he mumbles in response, thankful that he’s not one of them. “do you ever think you’ll fall in love? like the kind of love that’s in movies?” he questions, the childish question leaving his lips before he can even think about stopping himself. “it’s just,” he feels his cheeks warm, “sometimes i wonder if it’s all made up, or if there really is love like that out there. it’s stupid, i know, but,” and now that he’s started rambling he can’t seem to stop, “i’m really afraid that i’m gonna be alone forever.” his voice is soft, his words barely above a whisper. he shifts a bit when kian questions him. “i don’t know,” he scrunches his nose, “i guess if it were late, like it is now, and no one was around…” he muses, but he shakes his head slightly. “seems risky though,” and if there was anything jun hated, it was getting in trouble. “umm,” he takes a moment to think about it before answering, “probably in a bathroom at a party? maybe? i’m not… a very adventurous person… in that way…” his words are slow and sheepish. “but, uh, what about you? i bet you have lots of crazy places.”
kian smiles at seojun as he speaks, giving him his undivided attention. “i’m so glad we’re roommates.” he voices. “i really thought i’d end up getting stuck with someone awful, but i got lucky. more than lucky.” he says. but something sort of shifts in the air when the boy asks him about love. kian doesn’t believe in love because it’s never existed in his life and he doesn’t think it ever will. but he can’t just throw out that kind of pessimism when seojun believes him to be this optimistic, nice boy. so, as always, he just tells him what he knows he wants to hear deep down. “yeah, of course.” he whispers with a nod. “maybe it’s childish to believe in such a thing, but i do. i can’t help it.” he explains, reaching over to take seojun’s hand in his own. he gives it a gentle squeeze, sending him a soft look despite the fact that he probably can’t see it. “you don’t need to worry about being alone forever, junnie.” he assures him. “you’re amazing, truly. anyone should be honored to be with you. i mean, you’re funny, nice, cute, compassionate, attentive— you literally have all the qualities that those boys in those romantic films have. except, you know, you’re actually real.” he smiles, giving the other’s hand another gentle squeeze. he lets out a breath through his nose, rolling his eyes playfully, as he pokes seojun in the side. “that’s why it’s fun. because it’s risky.” he points out. “bathroom at a party, huh? how very nineties.” he teases. “actually, i don’t.” he lies, averting his eyes as if he were embarrassed. “i’ve spent my whole life playing it safe. guess it’s hard to get out of that.”