kiez21 @kiez21writings - Tumblr Blog

Hello! I write Good Omens fics in AO3, mostly Human AU. You can find them here.

I'm also on ko-fi, if you like what I write and want to give me a tip. It's always appreciated.

Day #2 of my journey to find some happiness was alright. I got up earlier than usual, not lingering in bed. I showered, cleaned my face with a new cleansing gel, moisturised. I made myself eggs and toast and drank tea. I worked, made lunch, worked some more. Then I baked cookies, met with my sister to discuss working a baking from home business. Got back home and made myself udon noodles with soy sauce and smoked garlic flakes. I slept early. Overall a nice day.

Day #3 I got up 5’ before work. I found a jwds fic and obsessed over it. Spent most of the time that I was supposed to be working reading it. I baked, then met with my brother to help him with taxes and he invited me dinner. We watched a football match and then I came back home. I worked until past midnight and then slept until around 6.

Day #4 I got up at 8.50 and showered. I worked and read another fic. I ate more than I should when I wasn’t even that hungry. I finished work 3 hours late because I was so distracted all day. Realised I hadn’t gone to the bathroom since waking up by 3pm. I ate more and then had pasta for dinner. I watched tv.

I’m lying in bed at 11.30pm.

I think I’m back at square one.

This is tiring.

#i’m trying #but still

It has come to my attention - through a very uncomfortable conversation with my siblings - that I’m very noticeably losing my will to live.

Even though I’ve had this feeling of sadness in me for as long as I remember, it is concerning that others have started to notice it.

And even though I’m used to fighting the urge to let go of the wheel while driving, that doesn’t mean it’s a normal thing.

I know some people go through life just being happy for existing, while I have to make the conscious decision to keep myself alive.

But shouldn’t I make an effort to actually enjoy life, since I’m unwilling to let go of it just yet? I make the decision to stay alive mostly because so far it’s easier than the alternative. But I know I haven’t been able to do the things I love for years now, at least not consistently. And I know it’s only my own brain that’s working against me.

My financial situation is not great, so I’m not able to do a grand thing like travel the world or change my whole life. I still need to work my office job. So it’ll have to be the little things.

I’m putting myself on a mission: to appreciate the things that put a smile on my face, no matter how small they are. To document and share them, for accountability, and because someone out there might need a reason too.

Today is the first day.

#mental health #keeping myself accountable #enjoy the little things #i’m trying

#artists on tumblr #fanart #bts fanart #digital art #bts army #kim seokjin #bts jin #jin bts #bts seokjin

#artists on tumblr #bts fanart #fanart #bts army #digital art #bts jimin #jimin #park jimin

#fanart #bts fanart #artists on tumblr #good omens #bts jhope #jhope #le sserafim spaghetti #jhope fanart

JK

#artists on tumblr #fanart #bts fanart #digital art #jungkook #jk #bts army #bts jungkook

RM

#artists on tumblr #fanart #bts fanart #rm #bts army #bts rm #kim namjoon

Sweet dreams J-Hope

#fanart #artists on tumblr #digital art #bts fanart #bts jhope #jhope

I’m trying to make my way back to writing but the last months have been rough. I haven’t done much of what I like in quite some time. I’m still reading some fics and I still love Good Omens, but I’m not in the right headspace to write about them being happy.

In the meantime, I managed to get back to drawing a bit, and though it’s not Gomens, I hope it’s still ok.

I got into listening to BTS for some reason, and it inspired me to draw this.

#artists on tumblr #fanart #digital art #BTS #bts fanart #finding my way #finding myself #back to drawing

I just posted the last chapter of my fic North Star. Can’t believe it’s done. I’m proud but also kind of embarrassed that it took me over a year to complete it.

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