PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

bliss lane
RMH
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todays bird
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Monterey Bay Aquarium
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Noah Kahan
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Kiana Khansmith
Not today Justin
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tannertan36

pixel skylines

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🩵 avery cochrane 🩵
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KIROKAZE

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@kill-me-slowly-yay
Am I the only that thinks Bucky is going to be the more lighthearted one of the two in the Falcon and Winter Soldier series, cause bro:
Sam looks so annoyed in every scene with Bucky. In this gif, he’s stressed, the “I left my oven on and I’m pretty sure that’s my building burning in the distance” kind of stressed and BUCKY LOOKS LIKE AN ACQUAINTANCE HAPPILY JOGGING ALONG AS UNWELCOME MORAL SUPPORT AND IT SEEMS TO BE CONSISTENT WITH THEM. Even when they’re fighting Peter, Bucky doesn’t grow more frustrated he’s kind of just like, “Damn,” and Sam is like, “mOTHERFUC-”
These situations are among the worst Sam has ever been in.
Bucky? Shit, any day Nazis are not electrocuting him is a fucking great day.
also, i assume that bucky isnt actually supersoldier running. because he is keeping pace with his new friend sam
sam: oh god gonna save the world oh fuck
bucky: out for a pleasant jog, might shoot some bad guys, who knows
Sam: How the fuck aren’t you stressed right now
Bucky: You have no idea how low my bar is for a good day
The hobbits invent a fun game called ‘how close can we get to our friends before they notice us’
easy mode: Gimli (makes a lot of noise himself, very easy to sneak up on)
medium mode: Boromir (challenging enough to be great fun)
hard more: Aragorn (VERY attentive to his surroundings)
expert mode: Legolas
it takes them a LONG time to get Legolas but Frodo eventually manages it and it’s magnificent
Legolas: *sitting around minding his own business*
Frodo: *two inches from his ear* hi Legolas what’s up
Legolas: ANDAGNDOAHGDLKHNKDLFHLKFDANGLKFDAGN????? *backflips to his feet in confusion*
*cue the rest of the fellowship losing their fucking minds*
after that he’s onto them and they never manage it again
from all i can gather this is entirely cannon except the fellowship hobbits didnt invent it, its been a traditional hobbit game on par with humans and ‘tag’ for about 500 plus years to the point the average human will routinely fail to notice an entire picnic of hobbits at ten feet, blanket and potato salad included like hobbits dont realize they legit have a supernatural ability to not be noticed on par with elves physics bending sniper scope vision
okay but is “picnic” the collective noun for hobbits because that’s brilliant
a picnic of hobbits
perfection
So yeah, it’s canon that hobbits are the stealthiest of the races of Middle-Earth, even more so than elves. Which is an amusing trivia fact, until you start realizing how much of the plot of both The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings is based on this.
Why did Gandalf randomly decide that a plump gentle-hobbit was the right person to be a burglar for an adventuring party? It seems like wizardly eccentricity, until you realize Bilbo’s got a racial bonus to Stealth of like +20. Why does he get the Ring? In text, it’s partly coincidence, but also - which party member do you give your Ring of Invisibility to? The Rogue with a crazy Stealth bonus, of course. Bilbo uses his Stealth, boosted by the Ring, constantly, and the dwarves would have been dead a dozen times over without it. He’s able to get the Ring in the first place because he stealthed out of the middle of a horde of goblins. Then he’s sneaking up inches from trolls, secretly living inside the elves’ freakin palace (with Legolas) for months, rescuing a whole pack of dwarves from under the elves’ noses, regularly pick-pocketing people including elves, sneaking past a dragon, sneaking to deliver the Arkenstone.
Then we follow up into Lord of the Rings. Gandalf’s now bred up a second-generation Rogue. Frodo, Sam, Pippin, and Merry have that same massive racial Stealth bonus, and Frodo also has been raised by an adventurer. He speaks Elvish fluently, he’s friends with dwarves, he studies maps obsessively. Then he inherits Bilbo’s Stealth-boosting magic item - now upgraded to cursed McGuffin. When Gandalf decides it’s time, he collects Frodo and assembles a party. Their goal isn’t to march into Mordor, or to battle the Boss: it’s to sneak through enemy lines, past an entire army (or two).
The humans, elf, dwarf, and wizard angel keep drawing too much attention and getting them attacked (plus admittedly Pippin, the low-WIS darling), so eventually Frodo and Sam ditch them and head off on a pure stealth run. They can’t use the Ring of Invisibility anymore, but fortunately Galadriel gave them another Stealth-boosting magic item, the cloaks. They sneak halfway across Middle-Earth, past armies, through miles and miles of enemy territory, while being hunted by every evil being on the planet, particularly a literal giant All-Seeing Eye. Not to mention the Palantiri, extremely powerful divination items which are being actively used by three different groups of enemies/competitors.
The other main canonical Hobbit power is that they’re “very hardy folk”, meaning they have incredibly high resistance to various things from poison to mental influence. So they can survive the literally poisonous air and water of Mordor, which was designed to kill every species but orcs. And they can survive close contact with the Ring for decades or centuries, not only physically but also maintaining some degree of mental independence, when any other race would succumb in minutes to hours. (Note the most “powerful” characters - Elrond, Galadriel, the literal angel Gandalf - refuse to even touch the Ring, as do the most morally sound, Aragorn and Faramir.)
Why did Gandalf choose a minor member of the country gentry, the size of a toddler, with no combat training, to save Middle-Earth? Because absolutely no other creature on the planet could have done the task. Frodo was all but created as a weapon against Sauron. He, and he alone (with Sam), was capable of saving Middle-Earth.
TL;DR: Legolas would get jump-scared by Frodo every single time, because Frodo is the greatest Rogue in Middle-Earth, and the plot of the entire series depends on that fact.
Norse mythology: right so the universe is all centred around this giant fucking interdimensional space tree, and Earth is at one of its roots, and it grows up through all these other realms with like giants and shit in them, and the gods live in the two at the top
Greek mythology: fuck uhh the gods live on that hill right over there lol
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