Hewwo????

she/her, 24

[sleepy-bebby]

[saul-tortellini]

This is perhaps my new favorite video

[transmechanicus]

I would like to state for the record i’ve ignored this post the last 50 times i’ve seen it bc i thought it would be some hyper cutsie anime girl voice and i’m overjoyed to report it is instead Weapons Grade Miku complete with war horns that fuck

[amiya-shirou]

I kinda hate when fantasy or other stories show women as weak under the pretext of addressing misogyny within their setting and go in the direction of "yeah this is a realistic and more grounded story so your girlboss queen can't actually defeat a male soldier or even a normal guy in combat" but then turn around and have the male protagonists ignore this entire concept of verisimilitude altogether and defeat entire groups of people alone as if that's something men could actually do in real life.

I understand cases like Rhaenyra in House of the Dragon who wasn't given formal training and never got the chance to accumulate experience in combat like the men of her family due to being a woman but it feels so dissonant to see a grounded approach taken for her & the other women (with like, one exception who's actually a fighter and she doesn't even do that much) while on the side there's Daemon who can storm a castle alone and kill an entire group of armored guards without breaking a sweat or even being hit once, or Criston being an immortal terminator who even while falling in a trap and taken by surprise still kills everyone and it takes the arrival of a whole army to stop him. It literally gets in the way of the grounded politics too because when Rhaenyra does the political maneuvering that's expected from the story rather than the idealized heroism it nominally refutes and manages to have an entire group of assassins right in front of the completely unsuspecting Ormund and Daeron with only Alicent's brother to protect them, the latter just. kills them all by himself no problem. Like what the hell are we doing here. Why do the "realistic power dynamics" only come into place when it comes to the women while the men get to have their idealized superiority as legendary knights?

Or for another example, Vinland Saga. It does that thing where it's technically grounded and realistic and mostly based on real history while showing the vikings as superhumanly strong, which means we end up with the women being just as strong as untrained women are in real life while the men around them keep doing insane shit like fighting dozens of people alone or cutting people in half with one swing or easily destroying super strong vikings who can in turn easily destroy normal soldiers and so on. Hild as the only strong woman (aside from Cordelia) in the setting needs to rely on traps and tactics and long-ranged attacks to win. It's not even a matter of prejudice stopping the women from getting access to training and fighting in general because strength is pretty much shown as natural from birth (Garm is so naturally strong he was already killing adult men as a kid, Cordelia never trained or fought a day in her life but she was still insanely powerful due to breing treated as having a man's strength and is direct proof of how Vinland sees the difference as entirely biological).

And like, these are both stories who are technically criticizing misogyny! Vinland Saga actively criticizes masculinity and how men needs violence to affirm themselves! Which honestly makes it all the more annoying when they make the distance between men and women so comically large it's like it came out of the worst misogynist's ideal world & only allow the fantastical idealization for the men while the women have to be "grounded".

[amiya-shirou]

It's crazy because I only ever saw people complaining about the movie being too woke because of the main heroine and no one ever mentioned her dad fist fighting a troll

[bleedthebeat]

english major macklemore: i read your granddad’s prose

[ndnbutch]

therapist macklemore: i hear your granddad’s woes

[bleedthebeat]

coffee enthusiast macklemore: i drink your granddad’s joes

[ndnbutch]

body mod shop owner macklemore: i pierce your granddad’s nose

[bleedthebeat]

pizza chef macklemore: i knead your granddad’s doughs

[ndnbutch]

television network executive macklemore: i make your granddad’s shows

[bleedthebeat]

wildlife rehabilitator macklemore: i feed your granddad’s crows

[ndnbutch]

blanket maker macklemore: i knit your granddad’s throws

[bleedthebeat]

sir mackle the more, knight of the great kingdom of seattle: i slay your granddad’s foes

[ndnbutch]

rapper macklemore: i spit your granddad’s flows

[bleedthebeat]

we were sitting across from each other in the living room reblogging back and forth like it was a life-or-death yu-gi-oh duel

[escuerzoresucitado]

[findingfeather]

Well, you know. You can't expect the chimpanzee to have the same mature, grounded and self-deprecating sense of humour about it all that Jane Goodall has. That's asking a bit much.

[darkladynyara]

This is the cartoon in question, for anyone who's curious

[huffy-the-bicycle-slayer]

Absolutely bonkers that I'm now one of those weirdos you hear about on Twitter

[huffy-the-bicycle-slayer]

I committed to the bit so hard that I also committed misdemeanor impersonation of a government official

[potato-lord-but-not]

Well remembered, Mr. Lipwig.

[tiktoksthataregood-ish]

[chilewithcarnage]

[ten-and-donna]

the utter ecstasy of “is that lavENDER?” is what sells it for me

[pulling-aggro]

a level of appreciation for charcuterie the likes of which has never been seen before

[frankiedotbiz]

TRUE CRIME PODCASTER: *in the same cadence you would tell a preschooler a bedtime story* ...and this guy was kinda freakin gross! He would hang his victims on meat hooks in his shack! I'm not gonna lie guys, that sounds pretty icky! Major red flag moment, LOL! But do you know who WOULDNT send you human organs? Our sponsor, HelloFresh!

LOST MEDIA YOUTUBER: *in the same cadence you would issue a debriefing on a terrorist attack* Number 7. The Oonglydoomples. *scary transition sound to slowed down footage of a kids show with a crt filter over it* The Oonglydoomples was a kids show on Nick Jr that ran from 2001 to 2003 that was about Jake Oonglydoomple's adventures in the big city. Only one episode of it has ever surfaced online. We have tried to get into contact with the shows creator, Mark Wankencock, but we've had no luck. Maybe someday, we'll all oonglydoomp once again.

[only-tiktoks]

[leoriowithaknife]

[ID: The video begins with a person showing the package for a padlock. Over the video is a TikTok comment which reads "master lock has a bounty on this mans head". The person making the video begins narrating: "You won't believe this lock's special feature. It's a Master Lock model 570 maximum pick resistant pad lock. It has 5 pins, including some security pins and, if you look carefully inside the key weight, you can actully see where they put the disappointment." The video ends with the person jamming a pick into the lock, which opens it instantly. end of ID]

[partypuppynastja]

As a lockpicking hobbyist: it really is like that.

I have many padlocks (and other, uh, lockable devices) to which I probably have the keys somewhere but it's frankly quicker to pick (or in some cases, technically bypass but what most people would still call picking) the lock than find the right key.

And usually yes, that quickly.

And those tiny padlocks, to go on luggage (or, uh, other things that need tiny locks)? No need even for lockpicks, a paperclip will suffice to open it in 0.1s

[stavarosthearcane]

Now I'm used to seeing this sort of thing as I frequent the lockpickinglawyer's youtube channel so I am familiar with how Masterlock's products consistently fail to resist even the most low skill picking. Which is why when I heard the brand "masterlock" and saw the person had a wave rake (a tool for low skill picking) I knew this wouldn't take long...

I was not expecting the visceral nature of this picking; the single thrust and twist, the casual toss, the verbal disdain, the sense like you just watched something be swiftly gutted.

It was an experience.

[femmenietzsche]

Hot tip for any aspiring contract killers/hitmen - if you pretend to have a code of honor sometimes you can dupe clients into paying you extra for women and children

[hello-eeveev]

a crude summary of one of my favorite musicals

[grimbeak]

obsessed with just. the entire phrasing and performance of this random tiktok. the uncapitalized 'i's implying the youth of the author. "I think my mom wants me home soon too" SHUT UPPPPPP. only good modern depiction of hades and persephone literally ever. god.

[phantomrose96]

Strongly and intentionally ignoring all the bullshit that happened in the middle, it's actually probably a very good thing my mom and dad aren't living retired life together, because my mom's version of retired life that she's currently happily living is waking up, having coffee near the lake, then reading and playing iPad games for 14 hours with the dog asleep nearby. And my dad's version of retired life is I get a text from him with a picture of 1,000,000 hot air balloons in the sky with a caption like "At the New Mexico Hot Air Balloon Festival 🙂" which is a thing that clearly sprung into existence just for this text

[phantomrose96]

Retired dads will text you like “Meeting your tumblr followers at the New Mexico Hot Air Balloon Festival 🙂” like you were just supposed to know that’s a thing

[rosenkranz-does-things]

finished my whiteboard doodle of Paige (b&w version under the cut)

[carameldere]

[jelloapocalypse]

Someone asked me a while ago if I still had a photo of the worst sink I had ever seen while apartment hunting in Los Angeles. I assumed I deleted it so I didn't answer the ask and now it's gone, but as it turns out, yes, I do still have a photo of it.

[villainessbian]

impressive! it's ugly, impractical, gets water everywhere, makes too much noise, and the quote with shit kerning says you don't think music is even real

[alannaeowyn]

Imagining toothpaste accumulating in the letters

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Imagine mould growing under the plate and having to disassemble the sink to clean it