i'm a good person.

[killact]

BARRY  BERKMAN   /   written  by  SAB    /    private  &  selective    /   GOOGLE  DOC. 

[wntrfell]

                                (feel free to change pronouns/wording as you see fit!)

GOLDEN

❝ I know you were way too bright for me. ❞  

❝ I'm hopeless, broken. ❞

❝ You’re so golden. ❞

❝ I’m out of my head. ❞

❝ I know that you’re scared. ❞

❝ Because, hearts get broken. ❞

❝ I don’t want to be alone. ❞

WATERMELON SUGAR

❝ Tastes like strawberries on a summer evening. ❞

❝ It sounds just like a song. ❞

❝ I want more berries. ❞

❝ It’s so wonderful and warm. ❞    

❝ I just wanna taste it. ❞   

ADORE YOU

❝ Strawberry lipstick. ❞ 

❝ I get so lost inside your eyes. ❞

❝ Would you believe it? ❞

❝ You don’t have to say you love me. ❞

❝ You don’t have to say nothing. ❞

❝ You don’t have to say you’re mine. ❞

❝ I’d walk through fire for you. ❞

❝ Just let me adore you. ❞  

❝ It’s the only thing I’ll ever do. ❞        

LIGHTS UP

❝ What do you mean? ❞

❝ I’m sorry by the way. ❞

❝ Never coming back down! ❞

❝ Can’t you see? ❞

❝ I could, but wouldn’t stay. ❞

❝ It’d be so sweet if things just stayed the same. ❞

❝ Do you know who you are? ❞

❝ I’m not ever going back. ❞         

CHERRY

❝ Don’t you call him baby. ❞

❝ We’re not talking lately. ❞

❝ Don’t you call him what you used to call me. ❞  

❝ I can tell that you are at your best. ❞

❝ I’m selfish. ❞

❝ I’m hating it. ❞

❝ Take it as a compliment. ❞

❝ I, I just miss— ❞

❝ I just miss your accent and your friends. ❞

❝ Did you know I still talk to them? ❞         

FALLING

❝ I’m in my bed and you’re not here. ❞

❝ There’s no one to blame. ❞

❝ Forget what I said. ❞   

❝ It’s not what I meant. ❞

❝ I can’t take it back. ❞

❝ I can’t unpack the baggage you left. ❞

❝ What am I now? ❞

❝ What if I’m someone I don’t want around? ❞

❝ I’m falling again. ❞

❝ What if I’m down? ❞

❝ What if I’m someone you won’t talk about? ❞ 

❝ You said you care and you missed me too. ❞

❝ I’m well aware I write too many songs about you. ❞

❝ We’ve ran out of things we can say. ❞

❝ I get the feeling that you’ll never need me again. ❞

TO BE SO LONELY

❝ Don’t blame me for falling. ❞

❝ I was just a little boy. ❞

❝ Wasn’t ready for it all. ❞

❝ You can’t blame me, darling. ❞

❝ I’m just an arrogant son of a bitch who can’t admit when he’s sorry. ❞

❝ Don’t call me baby again. ❞

❝ You got your reasons. ❞

❝ I know that you’re tryna be friends. ❞

❝ I know you meant it. ❞

❝ It’s hard for me to go home. ❞

❝ I just hope you see me in a little better light. ❞

❝ Do you think it’s easy being of the jealous kind? ❞

❝ I miss the shape of your lips. ❞    

❝ You’ll win. ❞

❝ This is it, so I’m sorry. ❞      

SHE

❝ He’s thinking of you, like all of us do. ❞

❝ She’s the first one that I see and I don’t know why. ❞

❝ I don’t know who she is. ❞

❝ He wouldn’t know what to say. ❞

❝ She sleeps in his bed. ❞  

❝ I don’t know where she is. ❞   

SUNFLOWER, VOL. 6

❝ Let me inside. ❞

❝ Wish I could get to know you. ❞

❝ I was just tongue-tied. ❞

❝ I don’t wanna make you feel bad. ❞  

❝ I’ve been trying hard not to talk to you. ❞

❝ I couldn’t want you any more. ❞

❝ Kiss in the kitchen like it’s a dance floor. ❞

❝ I got to know you. ❞

❝ I love this shade. ❞

❝ Your flowers just died. ❞       

CANYON MOON

❝ Gotta see it to believe it. ❞ 

❝ That’s what I always do. ❞

❝ Go get the kids from school ! ❞

❝ I’ll be gone too long from you. ❞

❝ Two weeks and I’ll be home. ❞

❝ I’m going. ❞       

TREAT PEOPLE WITH KINDNESS

❝ Maybe, we can find a place to feel good. ❞

❝ We can treat people with kindness. ❞

❝ I’ve got a good feeling. ❞    

❝ I don’t need all the answers. ❞

❝ It’s just another day. ❞

❝ If all our friends all pass way, it’s okay. ❞

❝ It’s okay. ❞

❝ Here we go. ❞      

FINE LINE

❝ I’m looking for something to buy. ❞

❝ You’ve got my devotion. ❞

❝ Man, I can hate you sometimes. ❞

❝ I don’t want to fight you. ❞

❝ I don’t want to sleep in the dirt. ❞

❝ I’ll try to shake this soon. ❞

❝ We’ll be alright. ❞

[mohabbotsjupiter]

#cute cute cute

[wntrfell]

✧°⋆ 𝐫𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐞

————send  in  a  word  for  a  drabble  or  starter  based  on  it.

abditory   —   a   place   into   which   you   can   disappear;   a   hiding   place

alexithymia   —   the   inability   to   express   your   feelings

alharaca   —   an   extraordinary   or   violent   emotional   reaction   to   a   small   issue

aubade   —   a   love   song   sung   at   dawn

balter   —   to   dance   artlessly,   without   particular   grace   or   skill   but   usually   with   enjoyment

basorexia   —   the   overwhelming   desire   to   kiss

clinomania   —   excessive   desire   to   stay   in   bed

forelsket   —   the   euphoria   you   experience   when   you   are   first   falling   in   love

groak   —   to   stare   longingly   at   someone   who   is   eating   in   the   hope   that   they   will   ask   you   to   join   them

jayus   —   a   joke   so   unfunny   and   poorly   told   that   you   can’t   help   but   laugh

morosis   —   the   stupidest   of   stupidities

nedovtipa   —   someone   who   can   not   take   a   hint

nepenthe   —   something   that   can   make   you   forget   grief   or   suffering

querencia   —   a   place   from   which   one’s   strength   is   drawn,   where   one   feels   at   home;   the   place   where   you   are   your   most   authentic   self

razbliuto   —   the   sentimental   feeling   you   have   about   someone   you   once   loved   but   no   longer   do.

redamancy   —   the   act   of   loving   the   one   who   loves   you;   a   love   returned   in   full

retrouvaille   —   the   joy   of   meeting   or   finding   someone   again   after   a   long   separation;   rediscovery

sphallolalia   —   flirtatious   talk   that   leads   nowhere

trouvaille   —   something   lovely   discovered   by   chance;   a   windfall

whelve   —   to   bury   something   deep;   to   hide

[killact]

divinediatribes  said:   “ every detail is important.” from Jonathan    *: ･ﾟ✧   interrogation starters –   a c c e p t i n g ! 

 ❝ In retrospect , it’s really fucking not - ❞ There’s no desire to stay glued to this back & forth ... whatever it actually was , specifics. Maybe a little ignorance dressed in his tone – but Barry knew exactly what he was trying to say , & he knew this was wasting time. He sighs , arms crossed in the process.  ❝ Okay fine , maybe if you’re a cop or something like that , then yeah –  all the details matter.  ❞  He had one too many run ins with blue badges , & all that – it was never really considered regarding specifics when dealing with hits. Needless to say this isn’t something he wants to keep doing. He can’t keep doing this.   ❝ Death’s unfortunate - so fuck it , I don’t know. If I was at the scene of a murder , I’d be looking for the person that spent way too much time trying to stage something that’s supposed to look natural. Like an accident.  ❞

[killact]

Maybe i’ll talk about how “Barry Block” was a safety persona as a means of escape for Barry Berkman while at the same time dangerously unrealistic because of the dissociative patterns it manifested to a platform but in disguise as an “acting method” in season 1- 

[killact]

sheacts  said:   “ it’s okay. you can tell me.”      *: ･ﾟ✧   interrogation starters –   a c c e p t i n g ! 

It’s  been  really  bad  for  him ,  everything ,  how  it  happens –  Barry didn’t even hear her say it the first time. Barry’s throat felt like it was closing in , &  at this point he was just staring in her direction. This divide  between trying to escape an old life  &  have something that was worth anything  ... to just have that – but Barry couldn’t be both things.  &  this was where they were now.   ❝ What? No it’s  –  it’s some really dark stuff , Sally...  ❞  Barry crosses his arms , which immediately makes him feel like he’s caving into himself. Lie after lie.  It  was  all  collecting. This was a matter of confronting the fact they weren’t really in a relationship , when the honesty didn’t exist. Who he really was –  It  was  eating  him  alive.   ❝ Hey ,  ❞ Barry smiles a little tiredly , needless to say he’s still trying here.   ❝ It’s a lot , you know ... & I don’t want you to get distracted , you’ve got a lot going on with the performance ... I mean I’m okay.   ❞

[killact]

firecpals  said:  “ do you remember anything unusual?” / from barbara gordon!    *: ･ﾟ✧   interrogation starters  –   a c c e p t i n g ! 

Barry  sat  in  the  chair ,  back  still  shot  with  pain  from  when  he  was  stabbed –  by a twelve year old demon girl , but thats going to be left out for multiple reasons. Every time Barry tried to fix himself , do right by the wrongs he was expected to complete –  killing people –  he was always  consumed  by the bad path. He just can’t do this shit anymore.  ❝ No , not really  –  no.  ❞  He’s slightly agitated , obvious signs of uneasiness revealed in just about every way he’s reacting right now. This was only a few steps away from confessions extracted under duress , & he wanted  nothing  to do with it. Barry’s memory was shot. He doesn’t remember what happens when he blacks out.  ❝ Look I don’t – really know what you’re asking here ,   ❞

[memesfromstuff]

*: ･ﾟ✧   interrogation starters.

feel free to change pronouns etc as needed.

CALM / QUESTIONING.

“ tell me, what happened?”

“ did you see anything?”

“ what do you remember?”

“ do you remember anything unusual?”

“ please, try to remember as much as you can.”

“ every detail is important.”

“ and what happened next?”

“ and what did you do when all this took place?”

“ what were you doing around __ am/pm?”

“ where were you around __ am/pm?”

“ can anyone verify that?”

“ was someone with you?”

“ and you had nothing to do with it?”

“ and you weren’t involved?”

“ did you see it happen?”

“ did you see who did it?”

“ did you see or hear anything? anything at all?”

CARING / UNDERSTANDING.

 “ you seem scared… is that why you don’t want to talk?”

“ did someone hurt you?”

“ it’s okay. you can tell me.”

“ you were just trying to defend yourself, weren’t you?”

“ we can take a break, if you want.”

“ everything will be okay, i promise. but you need to talk to me.”

“ it’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it. but it really would help if you did.”

SUSPICIOUS.

“ there is something you’re not telling me.”

“ i think you’re lying.”

“ you looked away just now when you said that. are you sure you’re telling the truth?”

“ except what you’re telling me doesn’t align with what we already know.”

“ seems to me like you know more than you’re letting in on.”

“ what aren’t you telling me?”

“ who are you trying to protect?”

“ so you really don’t know what any of it means? no clue at all?”

“ they must’ve told you more than that.”

“ you have to have seen more than that.”

“ and you want me to believe you don’t remember?”

“ and you want me to believe you had nothing to do with it?”

“ an accident? is that what you’re going with?”

DEMANDING.

“ i need you to tell me the truth.”

“ i need you to tell me what happened.”

“ i know you’re not telling me the truth.”

“ that doesn’t line up with the evidence. so… you wanna try that again?”

“ stop lying. i already know that’s not what happened.”

MAKING A DEAL / ASKING FOR HELP / DEMANDING HELP.

“ what do you want in exchange for this information?”

“ i’m listening…”

“ you’re coming with me.”

“ since you’re the only one who knows how to find them, i don’t really have a choice but to take you with me.”

“ fine. i’ll take you with me, but if you try anything…”

“ i can’t give you that. you know that.”

“ if we’re going to make a deal, you’re gonna have to ask for something a little more rational than that.”

“ okay. we have a deal.”

“ sorry. no deal.”

[germsauce]

Barry Berkman Thigh Appreciation

[killact]

NOHO HANK.

@killact​   said:  " is all this necessary? “ @hank!

would you  rather / open

   “ barry, you are like, my best friend and I value your opinion but I swear to god if you do not let me work here .. “ he forces a little chuckle, often it was a telltale sign he was getting irritable, or trying to make way through an uncomfortable conversation .. in this case, it was the former. but much like hank, there was that immediate window of feeling bad for the tone he had taken with barry  ( even when it had not been rude at all, ) “ I am sorry, just like  ━ I am very tired from spending two nights in a fucking storage unit,  that, has not been furnished  because  one of the guys did not sign into my amazon account , so our orders did not qualify for next day shipping, so  as you can imagine  ━ because  cristobal has  moved hank into storage unit , like forgotten item you used to love having around .. “ there’s an ugly feeling in his chest. whatever. he sinks into the car seat, laptop in lap, mindlessly tapping  away. 

  “ so sorry  we are not in my very , tastefully decorated  room right now. you know, I have thought about getting hotel room, sometimes  you  just  gotta  get  away  from  all that  toxic  energy  you  know  ━ so ! since esther has used  hank’s fox mug  without asking, which, is fucking impolite .. like, you know that something is not yours but you take and use anyways ? she could  have asked, and I would have  said  no. anyways, barry, I need help deciding  on these  two mugs for myself  and  cristobal   ━ he is batshit  crazy  if he thinks  I will  use the  fox  mug after this “

 there’s  nothing  out  of  the  ordinary  here – he only half listens , disassociating at all the parts where Hank goes on a tangent , something that again isn’t so surprising anymore. It’s not his business what Hank decides to do in his spare time , what kind of fucking power play happens at the chechen - bolivian stash house , but apparently Hank believed it was something for Barry to weigh in on , & it makes him sigh – trying to find the patience that had been long gone the moment he stepped into the car.   ❝ Look...  I didn’t know you were staying in a storage unit , but honestly I can’t begin to see how that’s my business , ❞  There’s a heavier emphasis when he says ‘ my business ‘  , but Barry’s trying to stay chill as long as he can. This marks yet another thing , that shouldn’t involve him as much as Hank is involving him right now. He can’t seem to think straight , & they’re talking about things he wouldn’t expect to happen in a mob unit – nothing unordinary once Barry remembers they’re people. He knows one thing: It sounds like Cristobal wants to replace Hank. 

Barry thought he was able to follow just as quickly as Hank was talking but that wasn’t working in his favor. Mindlessly he’d look out the window to see what was going on out there. He felt anxious wondering what he’d find on his phone if he decided to check it right now , but obviously doing that would further upset Hank , which is obviously the mood he was in right now. Upon the topic of mugs? This shit wasn’t making sense to him , but in some way it was obvious.  ❝ Okay , I’m just trying to make sure we’re on the same page here ...  ❞ Barry pauses to take a heavy breath  – trying to collect & think about what he was going to say before it came out harshly. Before he yelled about how useless it was.  The upside of this was Barry being able to leave class because of an emergency – which saved him from an uncomfortable rehearsal where he had to play his girlfriends abusive ex. Yeah , it’s too much to unpack. He doesn’t want to get on Hank’s bad side again.   ❝ Are they universal mugs or what? I mean ... there’s always the option of having a conversation with him instead of ... buying more mugs. That uh ... it hurt your feelings , right? Like betrayal?  ❞ Barry’s a fucking idiot. This is contradicting: he won’t even talk to his girlfriend about how uncomfortable that scene is , how he doesn’t want to fucking rehearse as her abusive ex. 

[killact]

intelwon​:

Holy fucking shit. James is pacing now, one hand rubbing his eyes in exasperation, expecting the place to go at any minute. They’re too close he knows but dragging this guy back leaves the other inside just hanging. They don’t have time to be discussing this and yet, James can’t bring himself to go inside. He doesn’t trust his own rigging. 

“ Why do you think it’s set for demo??? The place is fucking condemned, buddy! Aw fuck… man, F U C K. ” Condemned was a better word to use instead of saying it’s haunted. Haunted by a force unknown to most but so demonic and terrifying, the best method is completely removing the places it’s infected from existence. He can’t very well say that without sounding completely insane.

“ We gotta go, man… We can’t be this close. ” Save the life he knows he can save. He grabs the other man’s arm, trying to lead him back. “ Maybe your friend went out the back. Maybe he’s not even inside. But we have to go. ” 

he  can  feel  the  spike  of  anxiety  coming  from  this  guy –  & to be honest he’s not as freaked out as he might’ve been any other time. A rigged building becomes transparent to just about everything else when he’s seen worse –  & Barry knows Hank deals with this kinda thing more than he’d like to. He tries to push the thought far from his own acknowledgement; that he’s only thinking it’s all fine for his own consolation. 

Barry stares at the other, listening. Thinking about how fucked up this entire situation was. He wants to ask again – why the guy showed up , who he was. But he knew once the questions started coming , they’d eventually be directed at him & he didn’t want that. This guy looks like he’s seen some shit , he talks like he has.  Barry turns to look at the building – he knows Hank wouldn’t exactly exit a building through the front. For all he knows , they all got their shit & booked it without even telling him they were done. It happened too much that he didn’t care. He rolls his eyes. 

There’s no resistance when he’s being pulled away , & he starts to walk with the other.               ❝  Fuck it – I’m so tired of this shit.   ❞  That’s probably going to score him some confused looks from the other guy , but Barry had suddenly come to the late realization that he was still doing things for people he didn’t owe anything to.  ❝ ... So it’s condemned , ❞ He pauses & glances to the stranger.  ❝ You work for demolition construction or is it uh , something like personal business – I won’t say shit if you won’t type of thing?  ❞

[janicesopranos]

Stay in that place.

[stoiretalemoved-deactivated2021]

𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐊 I CAN’T MAGICALLY WAVE A WAND  AND MAKE THESE GUYS AN  𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐘

independent  barry berkman &  noho hank featured on  stoiretale  from HBO’S  BARRY.    hired  by  sab  ,                              led  by  pam

[killact]

I  miss  “Barry Block”  because at least he was a little bit happier :(((( 

[kiwimidnight]

[kaspgaytozier]

Bill Hader as Barry Berkman in «Barry 2x02» “The Power of No”