LOTF Characters in Middle School
Ralph: The entire Navy Seal meme, every day, fluently. Mediocre grades. Flies by socially with little more than good looks and a decent personality (as long as you’re at least a 5 or a 2 named Jack)
Jack: Has been in choir since DAY ONE, calls theater kids losers, hates the jocks not for any valid reason other than a personal vendetta that he, himself, cannot play sports for shit. Not even just because he’s skinny, but also because he can’t follow someone else’s strategies and blows away with a slight breeze.
Simon: That weird kid that never says anything, even in group projects. But when he does? It’s super weird and cryptic and you can tell he’s trying to be friendly and helpful but how the /fuck/ do you know that. If there’s a ‘write about your favorite animal’ prompt in English you know he’s the kid raising his hand asking if bugs count
Maurice: He’s the kid that sits in the back and makes girl moans really loudly. Owns a fidget spinner, but doesn’t need it. “U dare me to do that?” “Dude no-” (does it). Calls himself a pro gamer, but his entire gaming experience consists of COD, Minecraft, and coolmathgames4kids.
Roger: Edgelord. He doesn’t say anything to anyone unless you knew him since before he was the devil. Draws pentagrams on the desk in pencil. Claims to have been in more fights than he can remember, and won all of them, but has never been in a fight. He cuts the tails off of lizards and kills bugs. He can usually take it or leave it, but the second ANYONE, even the teacher, says leave it alone so someone can take it outside, it becomes his life mission to crush that bug. Makes death threats over the smallest jokes. Basically, he’s /that/ kid.
Piggy: Teachers pet. Always has extra lunch money for cookies and chips. Straight A’s. He has friends, but it’s just people who don’t like him or are 5th graders who just think it’s SO RAD a mIDDLE SCHOOLER wants to be their buddy. Says Ralph is his best friend but every time he does you just see Ralph shaking his head somewhere in the background. Always. Even in his own home, you can almost see the reflection of Ralph in the windows, denying it. As if even in spirit he rejects Piggy’s intimate friendship.
Sam'n'Eric: “Where’s the homework.” “I’m Eric” “Oh, sorry, (steps to the desk next to him) Where’s the homework?” “I’m Eric.” “??”