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DEAR READER
Jules of Nature

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@kimbo-nc
SLUR?????
My man said “boomer” with the hard “R”.
Sup, my Booma
They been calling themselves that for 50 years but now it is a problem? Ok boomer.
S L U R?????
Where can i find these shirts??
I found some here!
customers go to hell challenge
I was not ready
@relatable-ram
Me: *clicks video* “The hell is all this abou-”
*whistling starts*
Me:
I love this stupid fucking meme
when me and my friends meet up after not seeing each other for a while
from now on, by law, no one is allowed to ask me what i plan to do with my life or about my future plans. i’ve updated my privacy policy.
the daria writers really did that
Call me by your name
make ‘em wish they had you
THANK YOU!!!!!
octopuses die after they have sex for the first time by the way. and squidward just happens to still be alive and well.
I hate to disappoint the finest minds on tumblr but
Gallery of fake fans right here.
The presence of Squilliam Fancypants would suggest that “Squi-“ is simply a common prefix for octopus names, likely one with great cultural significance and meaning
his name is squilliam fancySON we are exposing TOO many fake fans tonight
squidward has only 6 tentacles. OCTOpuses have 8 (hence the prefix). the creator is a marine biologist, this isnt some rookie design mistake. literally anyone who has watched the show for 5 minutes would know this come on now yall….
you dont get to decide whether or not all the octopuses in the show’s lack of tentacles is or isnt a design choice when its already BEEN CONFIRMED BEFORE THAT HES AN OCTOPUS IN A MULTITUDE OF OFFICIAL MATERIALS. also, there are actual squids on the show:
Also where is everyone in the notes getting the idea that 8 tentacles=octopuses and 6 tentacles=squids. Squids don’t have 6 tentacles. Squids have 10 limbs, 2 of which are tentacles and 8 of which are legs that look like tentacles.
things are heating up in the spongebob fandom , huh
Is everyone just gonna ignore the fact that the original post is calling squidward out as a virgin??
I dont think anyone doubts that. I was just confirming the obvious right there.
being poor is traumatic. even if you’re not homeless or starving. never being able to get anything nice for yourself, never being able to go out to eat without feeling guilty, never being able to do anything fun that isn’t free, making you housebound in bad weather because you can’t afford to go to a cafe or a movie. it takes a toll. being poor under capitalism makes your life a waking nightmare. this post must be reblogged by everyone.
Addendum: If perchance you do scrape up the money to do something (say buy a computer or phone because you absolutely need the damn thing for work), you get shamed for doing so. “Why did you buy that expensive phone if you are poor?” I spent 20 dollars on it …. “What about that nice computer you got there?” I bought it six years ago, refurbished for about $250. “How about that big ole television you got there?” etc, etc, etc. No matter how poor you are, so many people think you should have less if you are “actually” poor.
There’s no two ways about it: poverty is violence.
Bruce: Edward for the last time, killing is not right!
Riddler:
A gambler gets a notice from IRS that he is being audited.
The gambler calls his tax attorney and they go to see the IRS agent. As they are waiting in the office, the IRS agent looks over his paperwork and says:
“The reason for your audit is that you have a relatively lavish lifestyle, but not much income to justify it, can you tell me what you do for living?”
Gambler says “I am a professional gambler.”
“A gambler?” said the IRS agent with slightly puzzled and surprised look on his face.
“Yes, I make my money by betting, would you like a demonstration?”
“Sure” said the IRS agent “let’s have a demonstration”
“I will bet you $1,000; that I can bite my eye” said the gambler.
“OK, you have a bet” replied IRS agent with a smirk on his face. The gambler pops out his glass eye and bites it. IRS agent is shocked as he did not see that coming, and he did agree to a $1,000 bet in from of gamblers attorney.
“All right, all right, this was not really fair” said the gambler. “I will give you a chance to win your money back. I will bet you another $1,000 that I can bite my other eye.”
IRS agent looks over the guys paperwork and see that he is not legally blind and takes the bet. The gambler takes out his dentures and bites his other eye. The IRS agent is now visibly stressed and sweating for being on the hook for $2,000.
“I tell you what. Double or nothing, I will stand on the edge of your desk, close my eyes and piss into the garbage can on the other side of the room without spilling a drop, what do you say?”
IRS agent is a little perplex, but does not see how that would be possible and takes the bet. The gambler stands on the agents desks, unzip his pants, closes his eyes and pisses all over the agents desk.
“YES!!!” exclaimed the IRS agent knowing he won the bet and does not own the gambler any money.
“Ahh, shiiiit” said the attorney.
“What’s the matter?” asked the IRS agent.
“Well, he bet me $20,000 that he will come to your office today, piss all over your desk, and you would be happy about it.”
I’m literally screaming this is amazing
So animal misinformation is very common within society so I thought about making a list of a couple of things that you probably should know about animals:
Do not flip rabbits upside down (it can literally kill them)
While we’re talking about rabbits, do not bathe them in water
Rabbits can’t eat lots of carrots, they have too much sugar
75% of their diet should be hay
that cage you bought for your hamster is most likely too small
Any tank or bowl under 5 gallons is way too small for anything unless you are keeping snails
Your aquatic animal needs a filter
Yes, your beta fish needs a heater (as do all tropical aquatic animals)
No, fish are not decorations
Goldfish and koi are pond animals, goldfish can live in some tanks but they need to be big
You can not just buy 2 fish that school (like guppies, neon tetras, etc)
Trust nothing that petsmart or petco tells you about fish they actually know nothing
When you purchase a reptile you need to be willing to take care of it for it’s entire lifespan (some of the common reptiles sold at the store can live up to 50 years)
Your reptile needs a heater
Live feeding rodents actually isn’t that good and can harm your snake (only do this if the snake refuses frozen)
DO NOT RELEASE REPTILES INTO THE WILD! ESPECIALLY IF YOU LIVE IN A WARM STATE LIKE FLORIDA!
your reptile needs a water dish
Your turtle can’t live in a fish tank that just has a floating log for them to rest above water on
Most birds are social and should have companions
If they do not have a companion you need to make sure you spend enough time with them daily to make up for that
They can’t live off just seeds
You can’t cohabitate large and small birds
You should not put bedboxes or encourage nesting for tropical birds unless you plan on becoming a professional breeder and taking care of the babies yourself when the parents are incompetent
On the opposing side, domestic birds like pigeons and chickens need a nesting box because they will lay eggs reguarly (although these eggs will be unfertilized)
The chicken eggs you buy at the store are not unhatched baby chickens
Chickens legit don’t care if you take their eggs, they will eat the unfertilized eggs if left in the coop for too long, the eggs have a lot of nutrients that can help them, but do long as the chickens are getting a good diet they won’t need to eat the eggs
Honeybees make way too much honey and taking it from them prevents them from swarming (something that most of the time ends in the death of the entire colony)
You know how your neighbor/farm down the road/etc has horses? Yeah it’s fun to pet them and all but do not feed them random stuff you bring, you don’t know if they have special diet regulations or what is/is not poisonous and sending a horse to the vet is very expensive if you want to feed them something ask the farmer beforehand
I shouldn’t have to say this but do not enter any cow/horse/large animal pasture without the owners permission
Cows aren’t as sweet as the media makes them out to be, never let your guard down around a cow
Pigs are not herbivores, they are omnivores, they eat meat and basically whatever else they can
The same applies to chickens
Do not release domestic or domestic raised animals into the wild. Ever
You shouldn’t declaw your cat (get those rubber claw covers instead!)
Also don’t let your cat be an “outdoor” cat
That doesn’t mean don’t let your cat go outside, but when they are outside it should be under supervision and on a leash
If you don’t want to leash train them, get a catio!
Your omnivorous or carnivor animals CANT BE VEGAN
Feel free to add more to this list!
My additions are for hamsters!
Hamsters are NOT good starter pets for kids. They are nocturnal!
If your hamster pees or bites it’s because its scared or does not like your behavior!
It is NOT normal for them to chew on cages to “widdle down their teeth”. Cage chewing is for attention and/or a way to get out! MOST wire cages are too small anyways!
Look up bin cages or even Detolf cages! They are inexpensive and easy ways to upgrade instantly.
Hamsters are skittish and sensitive creatures! Do not have many people handle your hamster and DO NOT handle your hamster immediately after getting them!!
DO YOUR RESEARCH! This goes for all pets!
If you cant afford to give your hamster proper care, you cant afford a hamster. PERIOD! Dont be selfish!
Someone said DaBaby make Scooby Doo chase music
This is literally the funniest video on this entire site
adult life is truly just thinking “I NEED TO CLEAN” while dealing with the 17 other things that have a hard deadline
story time
back when I was around five years old I ended up jumping out of a moving car on the highway (a road my dad still points out to us every time we pass it), this had many factors to it such as:
my family did not believe in seat belts or child safety locks
I was obsessed with cheetahs at the time and thought that if I jumped out and landed on my feet I could run alongside the car like some sort of superhuman tiny cat-human-mutant
it did not work out like this
the most unbelievable part of this story was that I jumped out and then ROLLED across the rest of the highway and under a truck
luckily, I was really tiny and went right underneath the body and between the wheels
God really does protect fools and babies apparently- which I was both
a mom in a red mini-van was the first to stop and come out to get me and was like ‘IS THIS SOMEONE’S KID?? WHY IS THIS SOMEONES CHILD.’ I still remember you mom in a red mini-van, you were a real one
I was surprisingly fine outside of a few scrapes and a bad headache. Despite the headache tho my family did not take me to the hospital
they took me to get taco bell instead
I just like, need some reassurance OP’s parents got better at parenting
they did not, but thank you for your concern lol, it if makes you feel better it was a really freaking great Crunch Wrap Supreme