Content : angst , grieving
Summary : Ever since Ryland had been sent to space, you’ve been grieving him and wanting him back .
Authors note : this is a short oneshot! I keep seeing all those sad PHM edits and aughhh… I just had to write abt it
Ever since the day you found out Ryland was taken to space, you were lost. You stopped keeping in contact with everyone, especially Colt. He looked too much like Ryland that it hurt.
You knew you shouldn't have pushed everyone away, but you did anyway. It was so very selfish.
You were hanging on by a thread. Living in your apartment alone was rough.
It was so quiet. Ryland's nerdy remarks and cute snorts weren't filling the air anymore. It felt like someone was just constantly pouring alcohol over an open wound.
Ryland's scent started to fade on the third month he was gone. You clinged onto his things, wearing his shirts whenever you could.
You were too afraid to touch his other things, though. You didn't want to look at his teacher handbook, as you were too scared that seeing his caring notes would just shatter your heart. You left his mug collection alone, letting dust gather on each one of the mugs.
His extra pair of glasses sat still on your nightstand, constantly reminding you of his beautiful blue eyes.
You would replay his voicemails to you every night. Hearing his voice made you wince every single time, but you needed to hear it. You would hesitate when you got to the very last few voicemails he left.
One of the last ones was him asking for help to make the decision on if he should go on the Project Hail Mary mission or not. He was crying in the next voicemail, saying he really needed you. The last voicemail was him telling you how much he loved you.
You wished you had picked up his calls. You regretted ignoring every single one.
The day last day he called was when you were on set, helping Jodie film some shots for her upcoing movie. You had no idea that those calls would be the last ones Grace would send you.
You thought that once you wrapped up for the day, you would call him back and tease him about how much he called. You were gonna call him clingy.
God, who was the clingy one now? You just wanted your sweet nerd back.
You wanted to feel his warmth again. You wanted to feel the chills you got when he would touch you again. You wanted to fall asleep on his chest. You wanted to hear the soft thump of his heart.
You just wanted your world back.
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