If you are reading this, you have found your way to my site. I hope you like it and enjoy my stories as much as I enjoyed them when I wrote them.
I would like to give a warning before you turn to my stories. I am from Germany, I can understand and read English, but I cannot write it. My works therefore go once through an app so that in the end they are in English and I can share them with the world. So please have some forgiveness for mistakes, after all, this is also just a hobby of mine.
A/N: In this story, I’ve tried to reflect my daily struggle with depression. How I found friends who helped me. How I found a partner who helped me, and how, even so, some days I still find it hard to live and function. I’m not looking for any attention with this; I’ve just tried to get it off my chest by writing it down.
Summary: Y/N is pulled out of her loneliness and learns that even though not every day is a good one, she still has people who support her.
"You are not a burden
You´re not your past
You´re not you´re first mistake
And you´re not your last"
- Abe Parker- Burden
Y/N looked around the Black Lake. Many groups of friends were sitting together, laughing, studying, or simply enjoying the sun.
She breathed in and out slowly. The young Slytherin, leaned against one of the many trees, tried to concentrate on her book. But the sight of everyone around her who had someone by their side made her feel both sad and thoughtful.
She was the one who always seemed invisible, only there to watch when the people around her needed her. Whether it was someone to cry to, someone to help with schoolwork, or just someone to talk to about their bad day. But whenever Y/N tried to open up to these people, to tell them how she was feeling, how hard many days were for her, it was precisely these people who treated her as invisible again or told her they didn’t have time for her problems.
Over time, Y/N came to fully accept the loneliness she felt. She even began to prefer being alone to being with anyone else. That way, she didn’t have to explain her bad days to anyone. That way, she didn’t feel like a burden.
And yet, on some days, she only then realized just how lonely she really was—like right here and now by the Black Lake, or when she saw her roommates laughing as they got ready to go out with their friends. When she went into the common room and heard the laughter around her—even in the library, she’d see friends sitting together studying, or eating in the great hall. In those moments, Y/N wished she wouldn’t disappear into the crowd. She wished she had the courage to approach someone and become friends with them. A real, deep friendship—the kind she wanted to last forever.
But things were the way they were, and even if she tried, she knew she couldn’t maintain a relationship with another person.
Y/N was the kind of person who would retreat into her thoughts when reality became too much. Who would grow quiet when everything else was too loud. She’d withdraw and eventually resurface. She knew no one would put up with this, so in those moments when the loneliness became too much, she reminded herself that no one would understand.
But what Y/N never would have imagined was that her loneliness would change on a perfectly ordinary school day—whether she wanted it to or not. At that moment, it no longer seemed to be her decision.
“Can I sit with you?” Y/N flinched and looked up from her notes. Pansy Parkinson stared at Y/N questioningly. The young Slytherin knew her.
But let’s be honest, who didn’t know her? She was part of the Slytherin group that everyone adored, the one everyone wanted to be involved with, and Y/N’s roommate. Stunned, Y/N nodded and gathered her things. She always sat alone, so she spread out across the entire table. Y/N couldn’t help but tense up. Everyone was looking at her—something she wasn’t used to, something she didn’t like at all. The young Slytherin just hoped Pansy didn’t notice
“You don’t need to be so tense. I don’t bite.” Pansy smiled at Y/N. Y/N just nodded silently and looked back ahead, where Snape was beginning his lesson.
“How is it even possible that we’ve been sharing a room for five years and have never really spoken to each other?” Y/N looked at Pansy; she hadn’t expected her to keep talking.
“It’s probably my fault. I like to keep to myself.” Y/N began fiddling with her ring; her body language was still tense. She didn’t know what to make of Pansy’s attention. They’d practically lived their lives passing each other by for nearly five years, and now Pansy was sitting right next to Y/N.
The young girl looked around. Her gaze lingered on Pansy’s friends. Theodore Nott, Draco Malfoy, Matthew Riddle, Tom Riddle, Lorenzo Berkshire, and Blaise Zabini—they were all looking over at them.
Y/N cleared her throat and looked back at Pansy. “Why aren’t you sitting with the boys like you usually do?”
Pansy asked her curiously. “Anyone else would be delighted to have me sitting next to them. You don’t seem thrilled.” “They’re all staring.” “The boys always stare like that.” “I mean everyone else!” Pansy tilted her head slightly to the side, studying Y/N. “Then let them stare! As for why I’m sitting here—you’re always alone, Y/N. I thought you might need someone to keep you company, and the boys annoy me—I wanted a change!” The young girl just nodded and turned back to the lesson. She tried to tune out her classmates around her, but it didn’t work. Y/N started bobbing her leg up and down. She hoped Pansy wouldn’t sit next to her in the next class, but would go back to sitting with her friends. She didn’t want that much attention, and when Snape dismissed them for their next class, Y/N practically ran out of the room.
In Defense Against the Dark Arts, Y/N sat down again in the farthest corner, where she always sat alone.
Pansy came in with the others. The boys immediately turned to their usual seats. Y/N breathed a sigh of relief, turned her attention to her book. She froze when the chair next to her shifted and someone plopped down on it.
“You don’t have to talk to me, but I’d really like to get to know you.” Y/N kept her eyes on her book. Pansy understood, took out her things, left Y/N alone, but remained seated.
The young girl felt guilty. Now she had a chance to make a friend, yet she turned her down. She didn’t understand it herself, but the truth was she was afraid. Pansy was the kind of girl who was used to attracting a lot of attention; Y/N was the opposite, and she wanted to stay that way.
The day went by, and Pansy sat next to Y/N during every class they had together. She didn’t say anything, but the attention Y/N was getting because of it made her uncomfortable.
“Y/N, why don’t you sit with us?”
Y/N had just entered the great hall when she heard Pansy call out. Everyone turned around and stared intently at Y/N; many sized her up, turned away, and chatted animatedly with their friends. Some even began pointing their fingers at Y/N. Slowly, Y/N began to shake her head and took a few steps backward. She was just about to turn around and leave the Great Hall when she bumped into someone’s chest.
“Are you okay?”
Theodore Nott’s deep voice snapped her out of her racing thoughts. He gently turned her around, his hands on her upper arms. Y/N couldn’t get a word out; she just stared at him. Her breathing was labored and growing faster and faster. She pulled away from him, walked around him, and disappeared from the great hall as quickly as possible.
“Okay, why are you making it so hard for me to get to know you—or rather, to become friends with you?”
Y/N was sitting on her bed, once again lost in her book. She looked up, startled. The young Slytherin would have thought that Pansy had lost interest in her, at the most, after she’d fled the Great Hall. Who runs away like that, anyway? She knew everyone would be talking about her now—even more than they already were.
Y/N cleared her throat, put her book aside, and sat up straight. Her hands began to fiddle with her ring again, a habit she’d developed early on whenever she was nervous. The young girl wanted to lay her cards on the table right away.
“I’m not good at friendships. I often say the wrong things; I’m often overwhelmed—whether it’s by the situation, my own thoughts, or the influences around me. I often withdraw into my own world and stay there for a while. I panic when people stare at me for too long, as you must have noticed today. I’m complicated, and I don’t want to put anyone through that, which is why I like to be alone. That way, I can only disappoint myself and no one else.”
Pansy looked at her, speechless. She sat down on Y/N’s bed, wanting to reach for her hands, but noticed how the young girl tensed up and simply placed her hands on her thigh without a word.
“Y/N, what if I told you I’d still like to get to know you? I’d like to form my own opinion of you?”
Y/N thought for a moment, “What if you don’t like what you find out, and I end up alone again? I’m scared, Pansy. I can handle the loneliness because I don’t know anything else. What if I get used to you and you realize it was a mistake to be my friend?”
Pansy smiled, “And what if it turns out to be one of the best friendships ever?”
Y/N fell silent.
Pansy jumped up from the bed, “Let’s go get something to eat—after all, you missed lunch!”
“I’ve noticed that you don’t like it when people touch you.” Y/N shrugged. “I’ve never had anyone try to touch me out of the blue before, so I find it uncomfortable.” Pansy nodded.
“Come eat.” “It’s okay, I’ll just grab something to go and eat in the library. I still have to study.” Before Pansy could say anything, someone else spoke up.
“You haven’t eaten properly in days; you should come sit with us.” Y/N looked behind her and froze. Tom Riddle had appeared behind them and was looking at Y/N expectantly. The young Slytherin swallowed, blushed, and nodded. She clutched the books in her arms more tightly. Tom intimidated her, just like the rest of the school.
Pansy giggled but didn’t say anything.
Once she reached the Great Hall, Y/N cautiously sat down in the seat Pansy had shown her.
Mattheo, who was sitting across from her, looked at her questioningly. She quickly averted her gaze to her plate. “Why does Y/N look like she’s just had the shock of her life?” “Tom practically ordered her to sit here.”
Tom sighed in annoyance, “I didn’t order her to do anything.” Everyone just stared at him as he filled Y/N’s plate. “I just pointed out that she hasn’t eaten properly in days. Eat!”
Y/N looked at him with wide eyes. “But that’s an order now, isn’t it?” Her voice was soft, but everyone in the Slytherin group could hear her. Tom looked at her, raised an eyebrow, “Take it however you want,” and filled his plate.
Y/N was confused. How could they all just accept that she was sitting here, and why, of all people, did Tom know that she’d forgotten to eat properly over the last few days?
The group settled into their usual rhythm. Theo, sitting next to Y/N, watched as she often looked up, twirled her ring, and tried to ignore the stares from the other students.
Theo slammed his fork down on his plate, which silenced the large hall. He stood up and looked around.
“How about you take care of yourselves instead of pointing fingers at other people?!” Everyone looked down at their plates and ate. Theo sat back down. “Now you can eat in peace!” He smiled at her as she blushed.
A friendship blossomed between Y/N and the Slytherin group. It began slowly at first, so that hardly anyone noticed, and then picked up speed, so that by the end of the month, word had spread throughout every corner of Hogwarts that the Slytherin group had adopted a Slytherin into their ranks.
From that point on, Y/N was never seen alone again.
Pansy made her join in on her evening routine every night. In the mornings, she made her do her morning routine and always dragged her along to the Great Hall.
Theo made sure Y/N didn’t notice when the other students were staring at her again; he sat next to her in every class they shared—which annoyed Pansy—and made sure Y/N always came along whenever the group did something.
When Tom saw her alone in the library, he would sit down next to her. Most of the time, they’d study quietly side by side; on the rare occasions when Y/N got stuck, Tom would start explaining it to her without her having to say a word. In those moments, she saw none of the arrogant boy everyone thought he was.
Blaise and Draco started dragging her along to Quidditch games and practice. Even though Y/N often tried to avoid it, they simply pulled her along.
Mattheo began standing up for her every time anyone tried to put her down. This landed him in detention a time or two, but he didn’t care.
Lorenzo started making sure Y/N always had something to eat or a snack with her.
The young Slytherin was overwhelmed by all the attention, but she had to admit to herself that she liked her new friends. The loneliness she’d felt just a month ago was a thing of the past.
But just as Y/N had expected, her good mood and sense of security didn’t last long.
As soon as she opened her eyes that morning, she realized how hard it was for her to get out of bed. How hard it was just to breathe, and how tired she was, despite having slept for almost 10 hours.
She’d brushed Pansy off, telling her she wasn’t feeling well when Pansy had asked her about their usual morning routine.
At breakfast, she stared at her plate, ignoring the toast Tom had set out for her. Theo watched her, took the toast away, and set down a bowl of oatmeal with milk and honey. “I’m not hungry, Theo, really, I’m not.” "Just a little, come on, Bella!”
Half-heartedly, Y/N picked up the spoon and took a few bites. Theo smiled at her; Y/N tried to smile back, but it didn’t reach her eyes.
The group exchanged worried glances. They didn’t know what to do; they didn’t know how to bring it up.
Things got worse during class. Everything seemed louder to Y/N; she was sure she could hear the whispering of the student sitting in front of her. The teacher’s voice sounded in her ears as if he were yelling at her, but she knew he was speaking normally.
She couldn’t concentrate—not on the teacher’s voice, not on the voices of her friends, who kept asking her if everything was okay.
Every thought that crossed her mind vanished immediately, overwhelmed by other thoughts. In her head, the thoughts were getting faster and louder, so much so that Y/N felt like she was going to get dizzy.
Exhaustion washed over her, seeping into her bones, clinging tightly.
Y/N began to fiddle with her ring, hoping to regain a little control.
“Is everything okay?” Theo, who was sitting next to her, glanced at her questioningly. She didn’t answer; she didn’t really understand what he’d asked her either.
The young girl slumped slightly, tears welling up in her eyes. She gave up, raised her hand, and excused herself from class. Quickly gathering her things, she slipped out of the classroom, into her room, and under her blanket.
She didn’t want to hear or see anyone. Y/N wanted some peace and quiet. Tears overcame her; she didn’t know why—maybe anger? Anger that she’d been doing so well for so long, and now? Now it was all coming back at once. She let the tears flow—what good would it do to hide them or hold them back?
“I’m worried about Y/N.” Pansy spoke, voicing the thought that was on all of their minds.
Y/N hadn’t returned to class for the rest of the day. Pansy had checked on her, tried to get her out of bed to eat. To no success. The curtains around Y/N’s bed remained drawn.
“I don’t get it! Everything was fine just yesterday… what happened?” Blaise looked questioningly at the group.
“Have you noticed how she sometimes just goes quiet? How she withdraws into herself and only comes out when one of us speaks to her?” Theo looked questioningly at the group. Everyone was lost in their own thoughts. “Or how she won’t let any of us touch her, how she flinches when we do it by accident?” Mattheo had been thinking about this for a long time; he’d noticed it so often. “Or how she skips meals.” Tom looked at everyone.
Silence fell among the friends. Pansy broke it after a few minutes.
“She warned me.” “About what?” Theo looked at her questioningly. “That everything quickly becomes too much for her, and when it does, she’ll disappear. She was afraid I’d let her down once I realized she’s ‘difficult.’ That’s why she was so distant at first. She said she’d gotten used to being alone, and if I came into her life, she liked me, and then I decided I wanted to leave—she wouldn’t be able to handle it!”
They fell silent again. Everyone let the words sink in.
“Then we have to show her that we’re not going anywhere. Not even on the tough days!” Draco looked at them all. The group nodded; even though Y/N hadn’t been part of them for very long, they wanted to show her that she was still an important part of this group and that they wouldn’t run away just because Y/N was having a bad day.
“Y/N?” Theo stepped quietly into the bedroom. The room was brightly lit, but Y/N’s curtains were closed, just as they had been for the past three days. Pansy had told Theo that she’d tried to talk to Y/N that morning, but she still hadn’t responded.
Theo approached her bed carefully. He was actually supposed to be in his first class, but he couldn’t stand it another day, knowing that Y/N was lying alone in her darkness. Theo took another deep breath in and out, pushing the curtain aside slightly. “Y/N?”
She flinched lightly.
Theo made sure that not too much sunlight fell on her. “Y/N, we’re all worried. No one has seen or heard from you for three days. We’re here for you—all of us.”
The sight that met Theo’s eyes struck him deep in his heart. Y/N’s eyes were red and swollen. She had curled up into a ball, making herself as small as possible.
“Go away, please. ” Her voice sounded so fragile, so thin and yet hoarse at the same time.
Y/N tried to make herself even smaller. No one had ever seen her like this—not since a friend had made fun of her. She’d been told to pull herself together. So the young girl braced herself for exactly that remark. But to her surprise, nothing of the sort came, which made her look closely at Theo.
“Move over, please.” Theo took off his cloak and his shoes, grabbed a book from his backpack, and looked at Y/N expectantly.
Y/N tensed up for a moment, but then moved over. Theo looked at her with a smile. As he lay down, he adjusted her blanket so he wouldn’t accidentally touch her—Theo didn’t want to overwhelm her more.
Silence settled over the two of them as they lay side by side. Y/N carefully wriggled out of her fetal position, lay on her back, and stared at the ceiling of her bed.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Theo said softly.
Y/N took a deep breath.
“I don’t know where to start or where to end.”
Theo didn’t turn toward her; he wanted to give her space now that he’d intruded on her sanctuary. “Start where you feel safest and most comfortable.”
“I have absolutely no idea why I’m the way I am. I have no clue what triggers it, how long this phase,” she gestured around her, “lasts, or how long a good phase lasts. All I know is that I have days when everything becomes too much for me. Days when I hide away because I don’t have the strength left to pretend that everything’s okay. On those days, I’m tired—too tired to get out of bed. It feels like my head is a war zone. It’s too loud, too cluttered. I can’t hold onto a single thought or focus my attention. Combined with the noises around me, it just gets louder and louder.” Y/N fell silent; her throat hurt from talking.
Theo nodded. “What overwhelms you in those moments?” Y/N looked at him in surprise. “Loud noises, people in general, daylight.”
Theo immediately closed the curtain he’d left open.
“Is my presence overwhelming you right now, too?” He cautiously turned his head toward the young Slytherin. She shook her head. “No.”
In the silence, Y/N’s eyes began to close again. The conversation had taken a lot out of her. Theo, noticing this, picked up his book and began to read. He had decided not to leave Y/N’s side until she kicked him out.
Time passed, and the day drew to a close. Hogwarts settled down for the night. Pansy, who had gotten ready for bed and wanted to check on Y/N one last time, paused. She smiled when she recognized the cloak, shoes, and backpack next to her bed. She’d already suspected, when Theo hadn’t shown up for class, that he was here. Smiling and hoping that Theo would get her out of bed, Pansy went to bed.
“You’re still here.” Theo was slightly startled, but immediately put his book down. Just as he was about to answer Y/N, Y/N’s rumbling stomach interrupted him. They both looked at each other and had to chuckle quietly.
The Slytherin thought for a moment, pushed the curtain aside, put on his shoes, stood up, and looked at Y/N expectantly. She raised an eyebrow. “What?” “Do you trust me?” She didn’t even hesitate; she nodded immediately. “Then put something on and follow me.”
“Theo, where are we going?” Y/N couldn’t help but giggle. Theo just kept smiling at Y/N. “Wait and see, Bella!” He led her out of her room, out into the Hogwarts hallway, and toward the kitchen.
Once they arrived, Theo walked right in without a second thought, while Y/N stood rooted to the spot. “We’re not even supposed to be in here!” ” “Your stomach’s growling, and you haven’t eaten anything in days—if anything, you’ve just nibbled on a piece of bread, and you didn’t even finish that. So we’re here to get some real food into you!” Theo led the way deeper into the kitchen, and the young girl followed him. All the house-elves immediately stopped what they were doing and looked questioningly at the two students.
“This young lady has been sick for the past few days and hasn’t eaten anything. So if any of you would be so kind…” Theo couldn’t even finish his sentence before the house-elves started running around the kitchen, preparing all sorts of dishes.
Y/N stood next to the boy and looked at him in alarm. “Theo, those poor house-elves have been working hard all day—they need some rest, too!” The brown-haired boy looked down at Y/N affectionately. “How is it that, even though you’re so hungry, you still only think of others?” The young girl shrugged and looked down at the floor, embarrassed, for a brief moment. When she looked up again to answer him, the words literally stuck in her throat. As their eyes met, it almost seemed to both of them as if the sounds of the kitchen were fading into the background. Y/N noticed Theo slowly moving closer to her. As if it were instinct for the young Slytherin, she, too, leaned up slightly toward him. They both swore they could hear their heartbeats; Y/N closed her eyes as Theo’s hand moved cautiously toward her cheek.
“Here you go, ma’am. We didn’t know what you’d like, so we made you a little bit of everything!” Startled, Y/N and Theo jerked apart. He immediately dropped his hand to his side, and she took a step away from him, while a noticeable deep red flush spread across both their cheeks. “Thank you—that really wasn’t necessary!” Y/N stammered, trying to regain her composure, which she seemed to lose quite often around Theo. He grinned to himself.
“Are you feeling better, Miss Y/L/N?” Snape looked down at her. As always, he looked as if he could kill or stone someone with his gaze. Y/N nodded, cleared her throat, “Yes, Professor.” He nodded, examined her more closely for a moment, but then simply walked away.
Mattheo turned to her and looked at her intensely. “What? Are you trying to give Snape a run for his money with that look, or is that just a birth defect?” “For once, that wasn’t nice! Naughty Y/N!” He pointed an accusing finger at the young girl, who simply stuck her tongue out at Mattheo in response. He ignored this, lowered his finger, and looked at her with a playful seriousness again. “Do you happen to know where our dear friend Theo was all day and all night yesterday?” Theo plopped down in the empty seat next to Y/N. “Turn around, Riddle!” Mattheo grinned as he raised and lowered his eyebrows. Y/N covered her face with her hands. “Please, Mattheo, just turn around,” she giggled, but jumped in fright at the same moment. Mattheo immediately stopped grinning and looked at her with alarm; the others turned to look at her, too.
“You’re not mad at me, are you?” Her voice was soft, almost cautious. Pansy looked at her blankly as she slapped a hand against her chest. “My God, Y/N! I thought something had happened, not that you’d say something so stupid! Why would we be mad at you?!” “Because I just disappeared without… without talking to you guys!” Y/N looked down at her ring and began twirling it.
Draco shrugged, diverting her attention away from the ring. “Everyone needs a break sometimes.” “Exactly, there’s nothing wrong with that. You’re back now, aren’t you?” Blaise looked at her with a smile. Y/N nodded.
“Just promise us one thing, Y/N.” Tom looked at her expectantly. She had to admit she was still fascinated that he was talking to her as if they were old friends.
“What is it?” “The next time something like this happens or you feel uncomfortable, talk to us. We’re here for you.” Mattheo finished what his brother had started, since he didn’t have much hope that Tom would be able to phrase it nicely.
Theo looked at her intently, “You don’t have to carry this burden alone anymore.”
“I promise you, but sometimes I just can’t say it. Then it just overwhelms me.” “Then we’ll be there to help you.” Theo looked deep into her eyes. Y/N began to grin.
“It’s nice to see that Miss Y/L/N has made new friends, but could you please save any flirting for after my class?” Y/N looked ahead in shock, just like everyone else. The Slytherin group had to stifle their laughter, while Theo and Y/N both tried not to blush again.
Months went by. Y/N had to admit to herself that she’d never felt better than when she was with her friends.
But what was happening with Theo was something she wasn’t used to. She still couldn’t stand being touched, which everyone accepted. But when Theo was near her, the desire was overwhelming—the urge to tell him to stop being such a damn gentleman and just touch her.
“You’re staring, Y/N.” She flinched and looked at Tom. They were sitting by the Black Lake, watching the others go into the water.
“I’m not staring!” The young girl blushed and looked down at her fingers in front of her; they suddenly seemed so interesting. Tom chuckled, a soft, rough laugh. Shocked, Y/N looked at him. “You can laugh.” “Don’t tell anyone, or I’ll have to kill you, I’m afraid.” Y/N nodded, “Sadly, I didn’t expect anything else from you.”
Tom looked at her with a raised eyebrow. “All right, I’m staring. Now what?” “Are you going to tell him you like him?” Y/N opened her mouth to tell Tom that she only saw Theo as a friend. But she closed it. He was Tom Riddle—he’d see right through her. “I don’t know how. This is the first time I’ve felt this way. It’s overwhelming.” “You just have to tell him; I think his answer will surprise you.” Y/N looked back at Theo and had to laugh. Theo was holding Draco underwater while Mattheo cheered him on.
Annoyed, Y/n rolled onto her other side and closed her eyes. She sighed again, turned onto her other side, and closed her eyes once more. She repeated this while lying on her back.
“I give up.” Quietly and slowly, she got up. She looked around her room. Pansy’s curtains were closed. Careful not to make a sound, she slipped on her slippers and left her room. On the way to her destination, she turned around—or at least almost turned around—at least six times.
But when she reached the boys’ door, she paused. “What am I even doing here!”
She weighed her options. Either she’d go back to her room and try to fall asleep there alone—which hadn’t worked all night—or she’d sneak right through that door now.
Carefully, Y/N slipped through the door. She knew exactly which bed to head for; once she arrived, she slowly pulled back the curtain. Smiling, she looked down at the sleeping Theo; slowly, she lifted the first of his two blankets and slipped underneath it. Y/N turned onto her side, gazed at the soft features of the person next to her, and hesitantly raised her hand, letting it glide over his cheek without touching him.
“Y/N?” His voice was rough and sleepy. His eyes fluttered open. “What are you doing here?” She had quickly pulled her hand away. “I couldn’t sleep. I’m sorry. I’ll go…” He didn’t let her finish. “Stay. Try to sleep.” She nodded with a smile, but felt slightly frustrated when she realized he made no move to touch her.
“Hey, why are your clothes too big?” Draco looked at Y/N questioningly. The piece of toast she was holding came to an abrupt halt in front of her slightly parted lips. “Hmm?” “Your clothes. They’re too big.” Blaise was looking at her now, too. “That’s true. Why?” Mattheo had put his breakfast back on his plate so he could now take a good look at the young girl, too. Seeking help, Y/N glanced at Theo, who shrugged at her. Before anyone else could say anything, Tom interrupted, “How is it even possible that I’m still hanging out with you idiots!” Everyone now looked at him in outrage. “I’m your brother!” Mattheo glared at him. “That’s the worst part! Y/N snuck into Theo’s bed in the middle of the night.” Tom continued eating his bread while reading the Daily Prophet, as if he hadn’t just revealed a secret. “Thanks, Tom.” “You’re welcome, Y/N!” “That was sarcastic.” “I know, I just decided to ignore it.” An exasperated sigh escaped Y/N as she nodded to herself.
“Wait, what?” Enzo looked back and forth between Y/N and Theo. “Before you ask, nothing happened. Y/N just couldn’t sleep—that’s what friends do for each other. Besides, Blaise is always sleeping over at Pansy’s for exactly that reason.” “Don’t drag me into this, and besides, that’s normal when you’re in a relationship.” Blaise looked straight at Theo. Pansy kicked her boyfriend under the table. “What?” “Tom’s right—you’re all a bunch of idiots.” “Hey!” they all exclaimed, while Tom thanked her.
Y/N looked down at her plate sadly. Was that what Theo thought? Were they just friends? Then why did she feel as if he’d just pulled the rug out from under her?
“On a different note, there’s a party tonight. Who’s going?” Y/N snapped out of her thoughts and looked gratefully at Pansy, who just nodded at her with a grin.
“Please go ahead. I’ll be right there when I’m ready, okay?” Pansy nodded. She’d been getting Y/N ready for the past half hour. Once Pansy had left her room, Y/N took a deep breath. She looked at herself in the mirror. “What am I even doing here?”
After 20 minutes of trying to work up the courage, Y/N slowly made her way down the stairs to the common room; she was afraid that this extremely short and tight dress would ride up with every movement. She cursed herself for listening to Pansy and putting it on against her better judgment. When she reached the bottom, she looked around. She was searching for her friends.
Pansy, who saw her, waved. Y/N started to smile and was just about to make her way through the crowd. But she froze in her tracks. Pansy looked at her in confusion, followed Y/N’s gaze, and her eyes widened. Theo had some girl sitting on his lap. When Pansy turned back to Y/N, she saw the young girl making her way out of the common room.
Pansy turned to Theo, furious. But she stopped when she saw Theo push the strange girl off his lap. “Are you deaf?! I’m not interested!” The girl stood up, straightened her clothes, “Oh, all of a sudden?” Pansy ignored her. “Theo, you should go after Y/N. I think she misunderstood something.” The brown-haired boy stood up immediately; Pansy pointed in the direction Y/N had disappeared, and he set off right away.
“I may not like you, but I think we need to thank you.” Mattheo laughed when he saw the girl’s confused look. Everyone else agreed with him.
“Y/N, wait!” Theo tried to catch up with her but quickly ran out of breath. “Since when have you been so fast?” Y/N stood still, turned toward Theo, and he stopped immediately. “I’m this fast because I just want to be alone right now!” Y/N turned back around, kept walking, glanced over her shoulder, and called out, “Besides, you were busy just a moment ago. So go back.”
Theo watched her walk away, bewildered, but quickly snapped out of his stunned trance and ran after her again. This time he managed to catch up to her, stepping in front of her and blocking her path.
They were standing in the middle of one of Hogwarts’ many courtyards. “Y/N, you misunderstood what you saw.” “You don’t have to explain yourself, Theo. We’re just friends—nothing more.”
Theo’s eyes widened. It felt as if Y/N had just slapped him right in the face. Y/N didn’t seem to notice; she walked around him and continued on her way. She wanted to go back inside—it had just started to drizzle.
“Friends?” Theo hadn’t moved an inch. Y/N stopped. “What? I’m just repeating what you said this morning.” Y/N couldn’t hide the bitter undertone in her voice.
Theo ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. “I only said that so the others wouldn’t tease you about it. I know how they can be.” She just let out a snort and tried again to walk away from Theo. But Theo grabbed her by the shoulders and stepped right up close to her.
“Just friends, Y/N? We’re definitely not that,” his voice grew dark, just like his eyes. He leaned his face down toward her, his lips near her ear, “Just friends, Y/N. Don’t look at each other at every opportunity. Just friends don’t spend every free minute they have together. Just friends can’t sleep better when the other person is lying next to them.” Slowly, Theo let his lips wander from her ear to the corner of her mouth.
Y/N felt herself getting warm; she didn’t even notice that the rain had gotten worse and that they were both soaked to the bone.
Y/N couldn’t hold back any longer. “Damn it, Theo, what are we then?!”
Theo pulled back slightly to look her in the eyes. He saw Y/N’s expression shift to one of confusion, excitement, and nervousness all at once, and didn’t hesitate. His hands slipped from her shoulder to cup her face. “Tell me if you want me to stop!” Before she could say anything, he practically slammed his lips against hers. Y/N was startled; her hands immediately clung to his clothes, and she kissed him back.
The kiss wasn’t gentle—it was demanding, expressing the feelings Theo had been suppressing since that first day.
When they pulled apart, they looked into each other’s eyes again.
“What we are? That depends on you, Y/N. We’re whatever you’re ready for. But if you’re asking how I feel about you—from the very first second, I knew I’d fall in love with you. I knew I’d want you by my side, as my girlfriend, not just some one-time fling.” Theo saw the fear rising in Y/N’s eyes. The young girl pulled away from him, wanting to create some distance between them. She had to admit to herself that she couldn’t think straight when she was this close to Theo.
“Theo, I’m a burden. You saw it yourself…” Theo stepped closer to her again. “Don’t you dare, Y/N! You’re not a burden—not to me, not to our friends.” “Theo.” Y/N’s voice grew quiet; she made herself seem even smaller than she was. Gently, as if she were made of glass, he placed his hands back on her cheeks. “Y/N, look at me, please.” The young girl had been avoiding looking him in the eyes, but she raised her gaze and was startled. She’d never seen anyone look at her like that before. Theo smiled, “You have to listen to me carefully now. Don’t listen to the demon in your head! You aren’t and will never be a burden to me. I’ll be with you, standing by your side, on your bright days and on your dark days.” He gave her a small, gentle kiss on the lips. Tears rolled down Y/N’s cheeks, which Theo gently wiped away with his thumbs. “I want to be the person—your person—you come to when the world around you gets too loud again. I want to be the person with whom you don’t have to pretend, on the dark days. I want to be the person who supports you and helps you get back on your feet.” Y/N closed her eyes. “What if I tell you I don’t know how I can let this happen?” Theo waited until Y/N opened her eyes again. “Then I’ll tell you, we don’t have to rush anything. We’ll take it one step at a time. The only important thing is that we take those steps together. How does that sound?”
Y/N smiled up at Theo, “That sounds really good.” Theo’s smile widened, “Does that mean you want to be my girlfriend?” “Yes, that’s exactly what it means!” Theo pulled Y/N in for a gentle kiss this time.
I've been getting a lot of messages lately because of “Come Back to Me.”
I want to be honest with you—I think it’s great that you like it so much, but this fanfic is a very difficult topic for me. I started writing it when I was in a really bad relationship where I was emotionally devastated and financially exploited. Now, whenever I try to sit down and work on this story, it makes me feel uncomfortable. That’s why I don’t know how to continue it.
A/N: Before you read this, I want you to know that my native language is different. So I am very sorry for any mistake. Nevertheless, I hope you will like my story and enjoy it.
Summary: For most people, the reserve is beautiful; for most, it holds fond memories. But for Y/N, it’s where everything changed so many centuries ago.Her life was destroyed, and she was turned into a vampire.What if, despite her vow to herself never to return, she does just that?
It all began with a message from Carlisle and ended with a face she thought she’d never see again.
“Hi Y/N, I know we haven’t seen or spoken to each other in a long time. I also know you don’t want to set foot in Forks, but my family is in danger.” There was a long pause in the message Y/N was listening to on her voicemail. “I need your knowledge and experience with newborns. I’m asking you as an old friend.”
Y/N turned off her cell phone, let it slide onto her living room table in front of her, and stared at the dark screen for a while.
She hadn’t seen or heard from Carlisle in a long time—100 years, or was it already 200? She didn’t even know herself anymore.
The vampire stood up from her couch; her bones felt heavy. The kind of heaviness that could drag someone down without any explanation. Yet she knew where that heaviness came from.
Absentmindedly, Y/N gazed into the darkness outside her window. Having to make the decision to return to a place that had destroyed her so many centuries ago wasn’t an easy one—especially not when Y/N’s oldest friend, the man who was like a brother to her, asked her to bury her pain and her past—with Forks and the reservation—for a moment, in order to help.
She stared out into the darkness until the first rays of morning sunlight appeared on the horizon. Y/N made a decision—one that didn’t come easily to her, as she couldn’t shake the feeling that she would soon regret it.
Y/N sat cross-legged on a thick tree branch high up in the trees. She looked down at the clearing below, a grin creeping onto her lips.
Vampires stood on one side and wolves on the other. Both sides looked exactly as Y/N had expected—not pleased to be so close to one another and not thrilled to be fighting on the same side.
Carlisle, who was standing in the middle of the clearing and had begun explaining the first lesson about newborns, paused, a gentle smile forming on his lips.
“You’ve come.”
Y/N pursed her lips, leaped gracefully from her hiding spot, and walked toward her old friend, who looked at her in surprise.
“You need help—that’s reason enough.”
Carlisle took Y/N in his arms and held her tight.
“I’m sorry—I know it’s not fair of me.” He spoke softly, just to her. The vampire nodded, pulling away from him. “For you, I’d do almost anything.”
Y/N turned to Edward. “So where’s the girl who’s a total pain in the ass to our dear friend Caius?”
Edward laughed, “It’s nice to see you haven’t changed a bit!”
Before Y/N could answer Edward, she heard a soft “here,” and she turned around. Smiling, Y/N walked toward the girl standing next to the orange-and-red wolf. The wolf took a step forward, growling. Y/N stopped, put her hands on her hips, and looked at the wolf with annoyance. “Calm down, furball. I’m here to teach you guys how to deal with newborns. So I’d at least like to meet the person who indirectly caused me to be standing here.”
As Y/N let her gaze sweep over the wolves to make her point clear to everyone, she stopped at a gray wolf. She was certain that if she still had a beating heart, it would have stopped right then and there. The vampire stumbled back a few steps, almost as if she’d been pushed. Her eyes widened.
“That can’t be—you’ve been dead for a long time.”
Carlisle walked toward Y/N. He raised his hand and placed it on her shoulder. “Y/N, you look like you’ve seen a ghost.” She immediately broke eye contact with the wolf, who had also taken a step forward. She looked helplessly into her old friend’s eyes. “I…,” she looked back at the wolf. The vampire had to be sure he was real, that she wasn’t imagining him.
She looked back at Carlisle. “I shouldn’t have come.”
Y/N tried to remove Carlisle’s hand from her shoulder, but he held her wrist firmly. “Y/N, talk to me.” She shook her head, turned away from him, looked at no one, and disappeared into the forest.
Y/N came to a sudden stop in the middle of the reservation. She knew the Cullens had a treaty with the wolves and that no vampire was ever allowed to cross the border, but she didn’t care.
The vampire’s chest tightened as she got closer and closer to her destination; her steps seemed to slow down on their own.
But she had to see it with her own eyes; she needed the certainty. The certainty about the truth she’d been trying to suppress for so long.
Y/N stopped in front of the entrance to the reservation’s cemetery. She closed her eyes and let her fingers slowly slide toward the gate’s handle. She knew her time here was limited; as long as the wolves were at the
Newborn Hour, she could stay.
“Who are you?” Y/N flinched. She pulled her hand away from the gate, almost as if it had burned her, and turned around. A man with black hair, sitting in a wheelchair, was staring at her.
She didn’t know his name, but she knew he belonged to the wolves. She knew he was a Black—the family resemblance was impossible to miss.
“No one.” Y/N turned away and was about to disappear back into the forest, but the man’s voice stopped her. “I recognize your face. I’ve seen it in sketches.” The vampire looked at him, her expression hardening. “You must be mistaking me for someone else, sir. I’m just passing through.”
Before the man could say anything else, they heard wolves howling in the distance. As the man looked in that direction, Y/N seized the moment to slip away.
Billy looked back toward the gate to say something to the vampire, but he wasn’t at all surprised to find she was no longer standing there. Sam, who had come out of the woods with the others, fully dressed, looked around.
“Don’t worry, she’s gone.” He knew she was a vampire, and he was sure he recognized her face, but from where?
“What was she doing here?” Sam looked at Billy questioningly. “I’m not sure, but I have a feeling. How do you guys know her?”
Jared interjected, “She showed up at practice—supposedly to help us—but when she looked at Paul, she turned almost even paler than she already is, more like a walking corpse.” Paul cut Jared off, almost growling at him. Jared, however, just kept talking, “She said something like, ‘You’re dead,’ and then disappeared.”
“It doesn’t matter what she wanted here. If she crosses our border again, we’ll kill her.” Paul stared grimly at the floor, but his words lacked the bite they usually had.
“You’re just pissed off that you imprinted on her!” Embry laughed. Paul looked at him as if he wanted to pounce on him. “Of all the people in the world, I had to imprint on a vampire!”
Billy looked at him. “I’d be careful about what y’all say about that woman.” Sam looked at him, confused. “Do you think it’s okay for something like this to happen? A wolf and a vampire?” “I’m not saying it’s okay, but...” “But what, Dad?” Jake looked at his father expectantly. “I can’t say for sure, but I think this vampire is closer to us than any of us realize.” “She’s a vampire.” Paul looked at Billy, puzzled. Billy slowly turned his gaze to the young wolf. “Every vampire was once human. Some chose this life; others had this fate forced upon them—and I have a feeling that with this woman, it’s the latter.”
He paused, then looked back at Sam. “The next time she’s here, come get me—don’t hurt her.” Sam nodded, reluctantly, but Billy had never been wrong.
“I never asked you because I didn’t know how. But after today, I can’t help but ask.” Y/N was lying on the couch in the room the Cullens had prepared for her. She didn’t even look at Carlisle; she knew what was coming. “You asked me once—don’t you remember?” Carlisle sat down next to her. “We were traveling together for the Volturi. You asked me why I’d been with them for so long, even though I think so differently.” Carlisle started to laugh.
“I remember. You told me that day that if I ever asked that question again, you’d rip out my throat. Please tell me that’s changed.”
The vampire exhaled a breath she didn’t need, but her next words brought her relief. She sat up straight and looked Carlisle squarely in the eye. “I don’t know if that’s changed. I’ve never talked about my transformation, what brought me to the Volturi, or what made me turn my back on Aro.” Y/N paused, carefully considering her next words. “I feel like I don’t talk about it because that makes it real. Real—what happened on the day of my transformation, what makes me resent this place. It makes the pain real. You know, Carlisle, when you live this long, you either repress your feelings or bury them.”
“Which is the case for you?”
“I buried them, because if I hadn’t, I would have been destroyed and taken everyone I loved—and even those I loved deep down inside—down with me.”
Carlisle gently took Y/N’s hand in his, encouraging her to continue.
“I had a beautiful life. A husband, a child, and a future. But it all vanished before my eyes in the blink of an eye.”
Y/N paused and shook her head. She hated that dull feeling that squeezed her lungs. But she couldn’t cry—yet another thing her vampire existence had taken from her.
“I can’t. I’m sorry.”
Carlisle nodded.
After a brief silence, Y/N looked at him again. “The gray wolf—in that form, he looked like someone I knew. Someone who meant a great deal to me.”
Carlisle studied his old friend closely. He observed her face, the pain hidden within it.
“If you want to leave, then go, Y/N. I’ll never hold this against you. It wasn’t fair of me to bring you here.” The vampire shook her head. “It’s been centuries; I have to face this at some point. Besides, Jasper may be good, but I’m better. After all, I trained the Volturi newborns and know how dangerous they can really become.” “We don’t even know if the Volturi have anything to do with this.” “Even if they don’t, I have a feeling these newborns are being trained solely to destroy, just like the ones I had to train.”
“I’ll be forever grateful to you.” “You’re like a brother to me, Carlisle. Your family is mine, too.”
Y/N stood in the clearing, waiting with the Cullens. She had resolved to shut off all her emotions; she was old and had trained herself to do so over the centuries, so it couldn’t be that hard.
‘I don’t know if you want to know this. The gray wolf—his name is Paul Lahote. He imprinted on you.’ Y/N smiled; she’d figured he’d done that—otherwise, he wouldn’t have taken a single step forward.
‘Let me guess—as a wolf, he’s overjoyed to have a walking corpse as his imprint?’
Edward looked at her in astonishment. “You’re smiling?” “Because it won’t change anything, Edward. I’ll leave town the moment your soulmate is out of danger.” Before Edward could say anything, they heard a whimper behind them. Edward looked behind himself while Y/N walked into the center of the clearing.
“So now that everyone’s here, we can begin.” Y/N clapped her hands and, together with Jasper, began explaining the basics.
The whole time, Y/N had to make sure her eyes didn’t wander back to Paul.
She wondered what he looked like in human form. Did he look somewhat like him, or even exactly like him? The vampire tried with all her might to concentrate on the training, but she couldn’t manage it. Whenever Jasper noticed that Y/N was drifting off into her thoughts, he took over, and stepped back when she was present again.
Y/N was standing at the cemetery entrance once again; once again, her hand was on the gate’s knob, and once again, she hesitated.
“I had my suspicions the first time I saw you. A legend that was never told.”
Y/N laughed sadly, “It’s too dark to tell by the campfire. A sad chapter that ruined everything in an otherwise beautiful book.”
“Why don’t you go inside? You’re standing here again, looking down at the gate.”
“I’m afraid of what I’ll find there. What year is inscribed on their stones. Because I know you’ve modernized them all to honor your ancestors.”
“You won’t just find theirs there—you’ll find yours, too.” Y/N looked at him sharply. “He knew I wasn’t dead.” She paused, a bitter sound escaping her lips. She hated how her life had turned out, and yet she would choose this path again and again—it was the only way she could protect those she loved.
Y/N looked at Billy one last time, then saw Sam and the others approaching from a distance. In their human forms.
“I was right.” Billy looked at her in confusion, surprised that Y/N was still standing there. “Right about what?” ” The vampire focused on Paul; she would have recognized him anywhere. Her gaze turned pained. Even Billy, who didn’t know why she was looking that way, felt a deep ache in his heart. “He looks exactly like him, even in human form.” Billy followed her gaze and understood; when he turned back to Y/N, she had vanished again.
Billy exhaled in frustration.
“Did she disappear again?” Sam looked at Billy curiously. “Yes, but now I know for sure that it’s her and that I was right.” “Right about what?” “She’s someone whose story began like a fairy tale but turned into her worst nightmare.” Billy looked closely at each and every one of the wolves. “Don’t keep us in suspense, Dad!” Jake looked at his father with annoyance.
“You’ll find out soon enough—by the campfire tomorrow night. And if you run into her again at noon, invite her over.” “Billy, you’ve lost your mind! A vampire by the campfire!” Paul stepped forward. “She’s your imprint, whether you want to accept it or not. But you should feel honored that, of all the wolves, you imprinted on her! You’ll understand—you all will!”
“What an honor. No wolf form?” Y/N didn’t look away from the sight before her.
“You’re the only vampire who dares to stand so openly at La Push.”
“What are you going to do? Tear me to pieces, in front of everyone else? I was wandering this beach long before any of you were even born, so please spare me your lectures. Whatever’s been agreed between you and the Cullens doesn’t apply to me! Not when this was my home.”
Paul looked at Y/N in astonishment. “Your home?” She closed her eyes; she didn’t know if she could look at him. Not here, not in the same place where she’d first seen him—the one who shared a face with Paul.
“He hasn’t told you yet?” ” “No, Billy wanted you to come to the campfire. He was going to tell us there.” Y/N nodded.
She wanted to leave, but Paul held her by the arm. Y/N looked at his hand on her arm. “Why have you been avoiding my gaze ever since the first time?” “Why do you care? You despise me because of what I am. You despise the fact that I’m the very one you’ve imprinted on, and I understand you. I’d hate fate too if it bound me to something I hate more than anything.”
“I’m trying to hate you, but I can’t.”
The vampire still wouldn’t look at him. Her gaze remained fixed on his hand on her arm.
Paul closed his eyes. It hurt him; he was confused. Confused by his feelings, hurt that she wasn’t looking at him.
He took a deep breath in and out, took her cheek in his hand, not flinching at the coldness of her skin. Paul turned her face toward him, forcing Y/N to turn her body and head toward him. His left hand gripped her arm more tightly; his right hand literally clenched against her cheek when he realized she had closed her eyes.
“Please,” Paul whispered, so softly that only she could hear him, “look at me. Just look me in the eyes once.”
Paul and Y/N stood only a few centimeters apart. She could feel his breath on her forehead. Slowly, she lifted her face, keeping her eyes closed. She felt his breath glide slowly over her face with every millimeter she turned her face toward him.
Paul watched her closely.
“I can’t look at you,”
Y/N tried, but it didn’t work.
Paul was disappointed. But he’d made up his mind; he had a feeling his Imprint wouldn’t let him get this close to her in the near future. He knew she would rebuild her walls, higher than when he’d first met her.
Even though Y/N had her eyes closed, Paul moved closer to her lips.
Y/N froze. She knew what he was planning, but she knew it would break her. With all her strength, she pulled away from him.
“I can’t, I’m sorry.”
Y/N left Paul behind on the beach. Paul stared for a long time at the spot where his Imprint had been standing, and hated himself for how empty he felt—because of a thing he was supposed to hate.
A/N: Before you read this, I want you to know that my native language is different. So I am very sorry for any mistake. Nevertheless, I hope you will like my story and enjoy it.
Summary: Y/N just wanted to protect her sister from trouble. What she hadn't counted on was that her life would change completely.
Annoyed, Y/N exhaled as she walked after her sister, who was a few months older than her.
Bella had burst into her room that morning to tell her, all worked up, that she wanted to confront Jacob. Then she’d left Y/N’s room—or rather, stormed out of it. Y/N looked around in confusion, jumped out of bed, and grabbed the first thing she could find to wear so she could chase after her crazy sister.
“Bella!” Y/N stepped in front of her sister just as she was about to knock on Jacob’s door. “Did you even think for a second before you made this decision? Maybe Jacob doesn’t want to be the rebound for your stupid vampire boyfriend anymore?”
Bella rolled her eyes, shoved Y/N aside, and knocked on the door. Jacob’s father opened the door and tried to stop Bella from coming inside, but she simply pushed past him. “I’m so sorry,” Y/N muttered, doing the same thing as her sister.
“Damn it, Bel…” Y/N trailed off when she realized Bella wasn’t inside the house anymore, instead heading toward the four men standing outside.
She quickly ran after her. When she caught up to her, she tried to pull her sister away. “Bella, please, let’s just go. You can’t always make such a scene!”
Bella, however, tried to break free from her grip and continued to yell at Sam Uley.
“Yes, Bella, listen to your sister and get out of here!” The man Sam was trying to calm down spoke up. Bella didn’t like his tone, she finally broke free and punched the man.
Y/N spun around in shock, “Paul, no!” Sam pulled her aside at the last moment. Still in shock, she fell to the ground and stared at the massive wolf in front of her. Horrified, she screamed and tried to crawl backward, bumping into Sam’s legs in the process.
The wolf looked in her direction, which made the young girl even more panicked; he didn't notice Jacob running toward her, just as he had lost interest in Bella. Now he seemed to be focusing solely on Y/N. The wolf whimpered once, as if he could sense her fear, and lay down on the ground in front of Y/N, his ears flattened.
Confused and overwhelmed, Y/N looked up at Sam. “Please tell me a six-foot-tall wolf that was a human just two seconds ago hasn’t just laid down in front of me… and while you’re at it, I’m hallucinating, right?”
“Well, I guess the wolf is out of the bag!” “Not helpful, Embry!”
Sam knelt down next to Y/N, gently wrapping his arms around her waist, which didn’t sit well with Paul. He jumped up and began to growl, but with a stern look from Sam and a command to go into the woods, he quickly fell silent, glanced back once more at the trembling young girl, and disappeared into the woods.
Sam turned his attention back to Y/N. “Are you okay?” She blinked at the man, let him help her up, and shook her head. “Is that a trick question?”
Jake came over to Y/N’s side and helped steady her. “Take both of them to Emily’s. We’ll explain everything there.” Y/N nodded silently and watched Sam follow the wolf into the woods.
“Can you make it to the car on your own?” Jake looked at her searchingly. Y/N shook her head, as she was still trembling. The dark-haired man nodded and lifted Y/N into his arms.
“I’m sorry, Jake.” He looked down at her, confused. “What are you sorry for?” “I wanted to stop Bella.” Jake laughed. “You know her. It would have been a miracle if you’d managed it.”
“Who do we have here, and what happened to that poor girl?” Emily stood at the entrance, looking around questioningly. “That’s Bella and Y/N Swan. Paul transformed in front of them, and Y/N’s been in a bit of a state ever since.” Jared looked at her with concern.
“Sit Y/N down on the sofa.” Emily gestured toward the living room and followed with a cup in her hand. “Drink this; you’ll feel better afterward.” Y/N took a sip and smiled; the warm cocoa warmed her up, finally allowing her bones to relax. “Thanks,” she murmured quietly to herself.
“Do you need anything else?” Jake looked at her questioningly. “Answers would be great.” Embry came over and draped a blanket over her. “You’ll get them, but it would be better if you talked to Paul first.”
Just then, Sam and Paul walked in. Sam went over to Emily and kissed her.
“I’m sorry about earlier,” Paul said, looking at her with a slight smile as he sat down at the table. Y/N, infected by his smile, smiled into her mug. “You don’t have to be sorry. Bella needs to learn not to jump on people all the time.” Bella gasped, “I just thought…” “And that’s usually the problem!” Everyone started laughing; Jake nudged Y/N, while Bella glared at her.
Y/N snuggled up to Jake. She was cold, and now that the shock had worn off, she was getting tired.
“Jake, maybe you should take Bella and Y/N home.” Sam looked at the girl, who was almost asleep. Paul, who had been focused on his muffin, watched as Jake picked up Y/N and disappeared with Bella. He wanted to follow them, but Sam stopped him. “Give her time; she needs to process what she saw today first.” Reluctantly, Paul sat back down, but watched after the car longer than it was even visible.
Y/N had woken up in her room but couldn’t fall back asleep. No matter how many times she turned over and closed her eyes, she couldn’t get Paul out of her head. The way he’d looked at her in his wolf form, and just as much in his human form. As if he’d known her his whole life.
Her train of thought was interrupted by a noise at her window. Confused, she sat up and heard it again—like small stones hitting her bedroom window.
Y/N got up, walked over to the window, and opened it. “Paul?” “Can I come up?” Confused, she nodded, taking a step back.
With an ease that left Y/N speechless, Paul jumped into her room.
The young girl cleared her throat slightly, looking at him more closely. She raised an eyebrow. “Hey, do you have a problem with a T-shirt?” Confused, Paul looked down at himself, but quickly began grinning at her. “Am I distracting you?” Y/N blushed and looked away. “A little.”
“Why are you here, Paul? Surely not to show off your bare chest to me again?” The young girl sat down on her bed.
The black-haired boy shook his head as he sat down next to her.
“I’m here because I couldn’t sleep without knowing how you’re feeling. "To be honest, I’m not exactly sure myself. I’m confused. I knew vampires existed, and now there are werewolves too? It’s a lot.” Y/N paused, thinking carefully about what to say next. “But what interests me most is why you reacted that way to me? You were so angry at Bella, and I thought you were going to attack her, but then nothing happened. It was as if all your anger had vanished.”
Paul turned to Y/N, gently took her hands in his, watching her react to his touch. When he noticed that Y/N didn’t tense up, he continued,
“I suppose Jake told you about us.” Y/N nodded slowly, looking her companion straight in the eyes. “But he left out one detail, since it’s my part to explain it to you.” Paul took a deep breath. “We wolves imprint. You can think of it as a soulmate bond. From the moment of our imprinting, we no longer feel bound to the ground by gravity, but by our imprint. We would give everything for her, just as we would be everything for her. A friend, a brother, or a lover. The most important thing is that we’re with her and can protect her.”
Y/N nodded, studying Paul’s features. He seemed almost shy, and although Y/N didn’t know him that well yet, she suspected that this was a trait Paul Lahote wouldn’t describe in the slightest under normal circumstances.
“And you’re telling me this because I’m your imprint?” Paul nodded. “Y/N, that doesn’t mean we have to fall in love with each other. I can be anything you want. I just want to ask if you’d be open to the idea of getting to know me better, so we can see where the imprint might lead.”
The young girl swallowed. She knew a lot would change. Fear crept into her; was she ready for this? Was she ready to let a stranger get so close to her?
Y/N looked closely at the man in front of her. But what could possibly happen? She was his imprint, and Y/N had the feeling that Paul would do anything to not hurt her.
After the evening Y/N made her promise to Paul, a new life began for the young Swan. She spent every free minute with the wolf pack. She slept most of the time at Jacob’s place, in a room Billy had set up for her.
It even got to the point where Billy spoke to Charlie, saying it would be best if Y/N attended school in the reservation. Charlie wasn’t thrilled at first, but he hadn’t seen his daughter this happy in a long time, so he agreed.
Paul and she began to get to know each other better and better; they even went on dates. Y/N also didn’t go into shock as easily anymore whenever she saw one of the boys or Leah in their wolf forms. She even started to love it when she could run through their fur.
Y/N was sitting on the beach in La Push, lost in thought, when Paul called out to her. Smiling, she turned to him and looked at him questioningly. “Are you coming to the bonfire tonight?” Nodding, Y/N laughed as Paul picked her up and threw her over his shoulder.
“Paul!” she cried out, tapping him lightly on the back. They weren’t a couple yet, but every day Y/N realized more and more how she was falling in love with him.
However, along with this feeling, fear also spread through her. She couldn’t get the thought out of her head that maybe Paul only liked her because of the imprinting.
“What are you thinking about?” Paul sat down next to Y/N by the fire. She had been staring absently into the flames the whole time, asking herself the same question over and over again. “Nothing.” She closed her eyes. Y/N didn’t even believe her own words—so how could she expect Paul to? Paul nodded, unconvinced, stood up without a word, and held out his hand to Y/N.
“We should talk.” His tone was serious, which made Y/N pause; he hadn’t been like this toward her during the weeks they’d been getting to know each other. With slightly trembling fingers, she took his hand and let him lead her toward the beach.
The two walked side by side along the sand in silence.
Abruptly, he stopped and stood in front of her, letting go of her hand.
“Now that we’re alone, are you going to tell me what’s wrong? Since last week, you’ve been lost in thought the whole time, you seem to be pulling away from me. Did I do something or…,” Y/N didn’t let Paul finish. “That’s not it.” “Then what is it?” “I’m starting to fall in love with you, Paul…”
Paul was silent for a moment, “And what’s so bad about that?”
Y/N took a deep breath. This was exactly what she’d been afraid of. Telling him what was going on inside her, but Paul took the words right out of her mouth. Because from her reaction, he could see what was wrong. “You’re afraid my feelings aren’t real because of the imprinting, aren’t you?” The young girl didn’t dare look him in the eyes, nor could she stop the tears that were welling up. Paul ran his fingers through his hair, desperate about the situation and wondering if he’d done something wrong.
Y/N heard him breathe in and out. She knew he needed to calm down.
“Y/N…” Paul gently cupped her face so she had to look at him. “The imprinting has nothing to do with my feelings for you. Nothing is forcing me to love you. Nothing is forcing me to think about you all the time. Nothing is forcing me to want to be near you 24 hours a day.”
“Paul, I’m scared. I need time to understand…” Paul let go of her, took several steps back, almost as if he’d burned himself on her skin. “So you want some space?” Y/N nodded; she knew it wasn’t fair to him. But she was confused and overwhelmed. Paul said nothing more, looked at her for one last moment, then simply turned around and disappeared.
“Fuck!” Y/N covered her face with her hands and began to cry. Emily, who had been sent by Sam—he must have heard Paul’s thoughts—placed a hand on the young girl’s shoulder and pulled her into an embrace. “I know,” she murmured as Y/N began to cry harder. “I want to go home.”
Three days had passed and she hadn’t heard from Paul. Even though that was exactly what Y/N wanted, it still hurt her. Y/N was lying in the bed she had at Billy’s place, eating nothing and barely sleeping, just staring at the wall and wondering why she was putting Paul and herself in the wrong. When it was obvious that they both had feelings for each other.
“Y/N, this can’t go on any longer!” Jake stood in front of her bed and looked down at her sadly. The young girl hadn’t even noticed how he’d come in.
“Go away!” Jake rolled his eyes and pulled the blanket off her. “No, I’m not leaving. First of all, you stink, and second, I can’t stand hearing you cry and sink into self-pity anymore!”
Y/N turned toward him and tried to get her blanket back. Jake, who didn’t want to let Y/N crawl back into her hole, grabbed her, threw her over his shoulder, and stomped toward the bathroom. He turned on the shower and placed her, fully clothed, under it.
“Jacob Black! What’s this supposed to achieve?!” Y/N turned off the shower and glared at him. “I can sense how bad Paul’s doing, and I can see how bad you’re doing! Go take a shower, and then we’ll talk!” Jake slammed the bathroom door shut behind him.
“Better?” “Better,” Y/N mumbled, taking the sandwich Billy held out to her.
“So what was the problem between you and Paul?” “You must know—aren’t you two linked or something?” “We can block each other out; the ‘link,’ as you call it, isn’t 24/7. We just know that Paul isn’t doing well, and you obviously aren’t either. So what’s the problem?”
“I’m the problem, okay!” Y/N pushed the plate away from her and stared at her hands. “I’ve fallen in love with Paul.” Jake gave her a confused look. “Isn’t that actually a good thing?” “It is, but…”
Jake gave her an impatient look. “Y/N, spit it out!” “I’m afraid his feelings are only there because I’m his imprint!” Billy and Jake both stared at the young girl, speechless.
“Y/N.” Billy took her hands. “Just because you’re his imprint doesn’t mean his feelings aren’t real. Because when a wolf imprints, it can also just form a deep friendship between them and their imprint. Falling in love is solely their own decision.”
Doubtfully, the young Swan looked at Billy. “How sure can you be of that?” “Very sure. While the bond does have a pull on us, making us want and need to protect them, everything else is up to us,” Jake interjected.
Sadly, Y/N exhaled, “Then I guess I really messed it up, didn’t I?” Jake shook his head. “Go to him and talk to him. He’s at his place; I can drive you there.” “But first, you’re going to eat something, young lady!” Billy gave her a stern, fatherly look and pushed her plate back in front of her. Smiling, Y/N took a bite of her sandwich.
“Paul?” Y/N knocked gently on the door of his house. When there was no answer, she stepped inside cautiously.
Jake had told her that Paul had been living with Sam and Emily until recently. But, with Sam’s permission, he had started building a house on a piece of land farther away that belonged to him and Emily.
As Y/N stepped inside for the first time, she took in the wooden house. It was small, but she could imagine living here with him. Still, she noticed that it felt cold. The interior was half-hearted. There was a sofa in front of a fireplace, but the fireplace wasn’t lit. The kitchen looked unused. She went up the stairs and looked straight into a bedroom. It was dark, with a mattress in the middle where she could make out Paul’s silhouette.
She cautiously entered the room and crouched down next to him. She looked at his sleeping face. Dark circles had formed under his eyes, and his cheeks looked sunken.
It hurt her to see him like this, because after all, it was her fault. Neither of them was doing well, and that was only because she had let fear get the better of her.
Y/N gently stroked Paul’s cheek. He flinched slightly but didn’t wake up. After a moment’s thought, she stood up and took off her jacket, as well as her shoes. She placed everything in a corner of the room and laid down next to him. Paul, who seemed to sense her presence in his sleep, immediately wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close. The young girl breathed in his scent deeply and immediately drifted into a deep sleep. A sleep that was long overdue for both of them.
Y/N opened her eyes, blinking. Paul had turned onto his side and watched her sleep. When he woke up, with the scent of his imprint in his nose and someone in his arms, he couldn’t believe it at first. Paul was convinced that after their time apart, Y/N saw him only as a friend and nothing more. It would have hurt him, but he would have accepted it. Anything was better than having no contact with her at all.
Carefully, almost as if Paul were afraid Y/N might shatter at his touch, he placed his hand on her cheek.
“What are you doing here?”
Y/N placed her hand on Paul’s wrist. “I’m here because I want to apologize.” Paul wanted to interrupt her, but she wouldn’t let him. “It wasn’t fair of me to ask you to keep your distance. It wasn’t fair that I didn’t listen to you, but let my fear get the better of me. I’ve thought a lot about the imprinting and us.” Y/N removed her hand from Paul’s and sat up straight in front of him; he did the same, leaning his upper body against the wall.
“I understand now. Your feelings are real; they have nothing to do with the imprinting. I honestly think it’s something else that’s worrying me.”
Paul, who was watching Y/N closely, leaned forward, wrapped his arms around her waist, and pulled her onto his lap. “You can tell me anything; I won’t judge you.”
Paul began tracing light circles on Y/N’s hips.
“I’m afraid to get involved with you because you’re my first.” Paul paused his movements. “What do you mean?”
“You’d be my first kiss, my first boyfriend, and my first time. My first love. It scares me, Paul, to let someone get this close to me. Still, I’m excited and glad that it’s you, Paul.”
Paul was silent for a moment; he let his hands slide up from Y/N’s waist to her cheeks. He forced her to look him in the eyes. “What exactly do you feel for me, Y/N?” “I love you, Paul.” Paul began to smile, leaned forward, but paused just before Y/N’s lips. “May I kiss you?” The young girl smiled, “Only if you tell me how you feel about me.” Paul chuckled softly, “I love you too!” Paul pulled her close and kissed her passionately. He poured all the feelings of the past few weeks into that kiss, even having to break it for a moment to smile. “What?” Y/N looked at him, smiling just as much. “I was afraid the distance would drive us apart, and now you’re sitting on top of me, half-naked, if I may point that out.”
Confused, Y/N looked down at herself and only now noticed that she was sitting on Paul wearing nothing but shorts and a sports bra. He was wearing only boxer shorts. “I curse you and your heat! I was wearing more than this when I fell asleep!”
Y/N leaned down to kiss Paul again. He placed his hands back on her waist, his grip tightening slightly as Y/N moved to snuggle up against him, her hands in his hair.
“Y/N!” Paul’s voice was deep; he was slightly out of breath. Y/N looked at him innocently, aware of the bulge between her legs that was slowly growing. “Paul.” He closed his eyes. “If we don’t stop now, I can’t promise it’ll just be your first kiss!”
Y/N didn’t even think twice as she leaned down again to bring Paul’s lips to hers once more.
Paul’s hand rested on her neck, his thumb against her jaw. His lips trailed down to her collarbone, where he planted kisses. Y/N was sure everyone would know what had happened the next day, but she didn’t care.
When he reached her bra, he looked at her again. “Are you sure?” Blushing, Y/N nodded. Paul gave her another little kiss on the lips, then helped her out of her bra. “God, you look beautiful, ” he murmured as he lowered his lips to her breasts and kissed every inch he could reach.
Y/N tried to stifle her moans. She was embarrassed. But Paul didn’t like that at all. With a swift movement, he turned them both around. Y/N gasped in surprise. “No one can hear you here, Y/N; you don’t need to hide.” He pressed his lips to hers, but didn’t stay there long. He kissed his way down her neck, between her breasts, and along her stomach. When he reached her waistband, he grabbed it, sat up slightly, and helped Y/N take them off. Paul let his hands glide over Y/N’s thighs, gently pushing them apart as he did so. He studied Y/N’s body closely, every detail. “Fate has sent me a goddess.”
The young girl blushed, giggling.
Y/N propped herself up on her elbow, looked at Paul in confusion, her breath catching. Everything inside her tightened, but in a good way, one she had never felt before. “What are you doing? Paul grinned at her, “I’ll make sure you can’t hide your moans anymore!”
He took off his boxers and slowly slid between Y/N’s legs. He forced Y/N to lie back down.
Paul kissed his imprint deeply, taking her right hand in his. “Are you really sure, Y/N? We have our whole lives together to share this experience.” “I know, but I want it now, here with you.”
With a final, “I love you,” Paul gently entered his imprint.
A/N: My native language is not English, so I put each of my stories through an app so that it ends up in English.
Summary: Y/N wants nothing more than to be loved back by the man she loves, with everything he has and without hiding their love.But he doesn't seem ready for that, and Y/N is no longer willing to go along with it.
"Yeah, I´m right here
I´m trying to make it clear
That getting half of you, just ain´t enough
I´m not going to wait until you´re done"
- James Arthur
Sighing, Y/N turned over in her bed in the Gryffindor girls' dormitory. For several weeks now, she had been waking up with a heavy feeling in her stomach. She didn't know exactly what was causing it, or maybe she did, but didn't want to admit it?
The only thing Y/N knew for sure was that she had to change something, and she had to do it right away.
Feeling tired, Y/N entered the Great Hall. Her body wanted to lead her straight to her usual seat, but she paused for a moment.
Pansy, who had seen her, waved at her with a smile from the Slytherin table, pointing to the seat reserved for Y/N. The young Gryffindor looked at her apologetically, turned to her house table, walked heavily towards it, and sat down next to Hermione.
Hermione looked at her in confusion.
“What?” Y/N reached for a slice of toast and the butter. She wasn't hungry, but she had a feeling that this day would take a lot of out of her, so she forced herself to eat at least a bit.
“Don't get me wrong, but you've been sitting at the Slytherin table for almost two years. That's why it's...” Hermione seemed to be searching for the right words. “Weird to see me here?” Harry, who was sitting across from them with Ron, nodded. “Yeah, but it's nice to have you back with us.”
“I think so too.” Ron, who had now shovelled down his fourth slice of toast, grinned at her. Hermione rolled her eyes at the redhead’s behaviour and turned completely towards her friend. “So what’s going on?”
“Nothing, I just wanted to eat with you guys again. Is that so wrong?”
Y/N tensed, the hairs on the back of her neck standing on end. She could literally feel a gaze piercing her back.
She slowly turned around, but immediately regretted it. Two brown eyes stared intently at her from the Slytherin table. Eyes that usually gave her a feeling of love, but now made her think more than ever before.
Harry, who had seen this, raised one of his eyebrows. “Is this about Riddle?” Hermione, who was busy scolding Ron for trying to steal bacon from her plate again, turned to her with a jolt.
“What has he done now?” Y/N shook her head and turned her gaze back to her friends. “Nothing, he didn't do anything.”
And that was exactly the point. Mattheo Riddle hadn't done anything, and had been doing nothing for a year now.
Y/N had become friends with Pansy in Potions two years ago by accident, when Snape thought it would be a good idea to swap partners. Gryffindor and Slytherin, with each other, not against each other. At first, no one was happy about it. But once the bickering was over, the two women realized how much they actually enjoyed spending time together. This only took ten lessons and three failed attempts, maybe even some exploding potions.
Pansy introduced Y/N to her friends. None of them knew exactly what to do with a Gryffindor, but it didn't take long for the young Gryffindor to steal the hearts of the group.
Pansy saw her as a sister
Blaise loved to drag her along on shopping trips and actually listened to her advice
Theodore discovered that they both read the same books and loved discussing them with her
Draco enjoyed talking to her about Quidditch
Lorenzo felt the urge to protect Y/N all the time, as many people looked at her strangely because of her new friendship with the Slytherins.
However, the person she found most difficult to convince was none other than Mattheo Riddle. The cold Slytherin prince who let no one get close to him except his friends from childhood.
Y/N could still remember how she had confronted him when he was drunk after her first Slytherin party. How she had yelled at him in his room, where he had dragged them both.
“I don't hate you, Y/N.” The young girl laughed. “And I'm Merlin!”
Mattheo rolled his eyes. "I just don't understand, I've never done anything to you! You're always making fun of me or making nasty comments about me. If my presence bothers you, just say so and I'll stay away!"
Mattheo remained silent, but his gaze was fixed on the drunk girl in front of him. Y/N was sure she saw a flood of emotions fighting in his eyes, but she blamed it on the alcohol.
After several minutes of silence, Y/N rolled her eyes. “I knew talking to you wouldn't do any good.” The young girl wanted to turn around and leave the room. But Mattheo grabbed her upper arm before she could leave his room.
“Are you going to talk, or are you just going to stare at me like you want to burn my soul?” Mattheo couldn't help but smile. This surprised Y/N. “He can smile, that's something new!”
Mattheo became serious again. “I don't hate you, Y/N.” “Then what, Mattheo?” Annoyed, he let go of her and ran his fingers through his brown hair. “Please let me finish! By Merlin's beard! You frustrate me most days, just like now!” She wanted to respond, but Mattheo's gaze made her pause. “And on the other days, you confuse me. I... I like you in a way I don't understand or don't want to understand! Since you joined the group, you've become friends with everyone, like a sister to most of them. No one is allowed to say anything wrong without one of the others immediately cursing them out. It's no different with me, only...”
Mattheo had created a distance between them, but Y/N closed it. She forced Mattheo to look at her by cupping his face in her hands.
“Just what, Mattheo.” He looked at her again; she gave him no other choice. “I want to hex anyone who looks at you for more than a second, I want them to know that...” Mattheo paused, looking at her in shock at the words he had almost said. But Y/N wasn't going to let him off the hook so easily. “That's what, Mattheo, don't make me make you say it!”
“You make me so...” Y/N inhaled the air irritably and exhaled it just as quickly. “Happy? Angry? Desperate? In love?”
Mattheo uttered a quiet, “Fuck it.” He put his hands on her waist to pull her closer to him. Startled, Y/N dropped her hands to his shoulders.
Mattheo closed the last few inches between them and kissed her. With a desire that made her head spin, her heart stop, and her legs go weak. She was confused for a moment, but then kissed him back.
After that evening, Y/N felt like she was on cloud nine.
But the next morning brought a sobering awakening. When others were around, Mattheo still treated her coldly, kept her at a distance, and refused to allow any physical contact. The worst thing, however, was that he still flirted with every girl who crossed his path.
He only ever showed her that he felt something for her when the sun went down.
Hidden kisses in empty classrooms or dark corridors.
Physical affection, in her room or his, but only when no one else was there.
She had tried, really tried, to accept that she was the one who gave more. Whether in conversations or in displays of affection that no one was allowed to see. But she felt like his little secret, like his toy. One that was only allowed to come out at night.
Y/N had hoped that after a year of secrets, it would be over. He would finally show her in the light of day that he felt something, but it always remained in the darkness of the night.
“Y/N?” Harry shook her out of her daydream. “Yes?” “We have to go to class, are you coming?” She nodded quietly and followed the Golden Trio.
A week had passed and Y/N felt miserable. She kept away from everyone in Slytherin as best she could. She sat at the Gryffindor table during meals, spent her free time in the library or in her room reading, and in class she had taken her old seat next to Hermione.
She hadn't missed the questioning looks from Draco, Blaise, Lorenzo, or Pansy. Nor had she missed the increasingly angry looks from Mattheo, because she hadn't shown up at any of their usual meeting times. Secretly, Y/N had hoped he would see this as a sign, to understand what she needed from him. That she had meant the words she had so often used to beg him to make it official, not to hide anymore. But nothing had happened.
“You're avoiding us. I understand it with the boys, but not with me.” Pansy stood in front of the young Gryffindor with her arms crossed. Y/N looked around, perplexed. How the hell had she gotten into her room in the Gryffindor Tower?
“Hermione let me in. If that answers your question.” Pansy sank down onto her bed next to Y/N.
“Listen, I've been watching you for a week. I've been giving you space, but I can't or won't do that anymore. What happened? Did we hurt you somehow when we were gossiping about the Gryffindors, or...”
Y/N didn't let her finish. “No, that's not it. You didn't do anything, it's just...”
Pansy looked at her expectantly.
Y/N looked at her hands. She didn't know how to explain it to Pansy. Her friend didn't know anything, which made the whole situation even more difficult. “I needed some space.” “From me? Y/N, I know I can be pushy sometimes, but I try my best to...”
“No, I didn't need space from you, it was never because of you.”
An uncomfortable silence fell.
“I...” Pansy took a deep breath. For someone who was a tough Slytherin, she was soft toward those she loved, which always surprised Y/n. “I've been meaning to ask you something for a while now. I was hoping you'd come to me on your own, but that never happened, so I'll just ask now. What's going on between you and Mattheo?”
“You want the truth?” Pansy nodded. “Then that makes two of us, because I don't know.”
The black-haired girl looked at her, confused. With a deep sigh, Y/N began to tell her everything, from her and Mattheo's first night together, to every plea to make it official, to the promise that something had to change.
When Y/N had finished talking, she felt exhausted, but also ready. It felt good to finally talk to someone about it. Pansy looked as if she wanted to jump up and strangle Mattheo herself.
She jumped up, just like Y/N. “Pansy, what are you up to?” "Turning him into a frog or a cockroach. I don't know yet.“ Y/N laughed, her first real laugh in months. She grabbed Pansy by the arm and pulled her back onto the bed. ”How about we have another girls' night?“ Pansy's face immediately lit up. ”But at our place. Astoria and Daphne miss you too." After a moment's thought, Y/N nodded.
“Look who's back.” Pansy threw her arms in the air. The Slytherin group turned to her and Y/N. But before anyone could say anything, Pansy pulled them along to the girls' dormitory. “But not for you,” she stuck her tongue out at the boys.
Laughing, the girls walked or stumbled into Pansy, Daphne, and Astoria's room.
“Y/N?” whispered a voice beside her. Confused, she woke up and looked around. Pansy was asleep next to her; she must have fallen asleep during the girls' night, and the girls had accepted it. It wouldn't be the first time.
When she turned her head to the right, she saw familiar brown eyes. “What do you want, and how did you get in here?” “Pansy isn't as good with spells as I am. It doesn't matter now, we need to talk.” The young girl shook her head, turned away, and disappeared under the blanket.
She heard Mattheo sigh in annoyance, and then it was quiet again.
Y/N wanted to close her eyes again and go back to sleep, but she had underestimated Mattheo. The young girl felt two arms carefully slip under her body and lift her up. She opened her eyes wide. “What are you doing?” Mattheo didn't answer, just kept walking.
When they arrived at the Astronomy Tower, he let her down. “We need to talk!” “Now you want to talk?” Mattheo looked at her in disbelief. “You've been avoiding me for a week. You don't show up for our dates, when am I supposed to talk to you, Y/N?” "In class, in the Great Hall, in the hallways. There were plenty of opportunities,“ she paused, ”Oh wait, the opportunities were always in front of other people. I forgot! My mistake.“ ”That again.“ Mattheo grumbled. ”Yes, Mattheo. That again!"
"Y/N, I've told you often enough, at some point I'm going to tell the others. But I'm not ready for that yet.“ ”I've been hearing that for a year. For a year, Mattheo, and nothing has happened. Am I embarrassing you? Are you ashamed if someone finds out you're with me?“ ”It's not that." “Then what?!” “I'm just not ready yet, understand that already!” Mattheo shouted the last words.
Startled, Y/N flinched away from him. Tears welled up in her eyes. Mattheo's features relaxed again, softening. He wanted to take a step toward her, but Y/N held up one of her hands.
“Mattheo...” Her voice sounded broken, but she held back her tears. “I gave you everything I could. You know all my secrets, my weaknesses. I told you I loved you, and I accepted that you didn't even say it back. I accepted that you only ever gave me half of what I gave you. But...” Y/N had to suppress a sob, “I don't know what's stopping you from telling me how you really feel about me or showing it to others. Whether it's your pride, the image you want to maintain, or whether you don't want to admit to yourself that you're ashamed of me. I don't know, and to be honest, Mattheo, I don't care anymore.”
Mattheo looked at her in shock, “What do you mean, Love?” “Mattheo, I have nothing more to give, not if you're not willing to give me anything back. Half of you is no longer enough for me. I'm not waiting any longer for you to swallow your pride or whatever and admit everything to me or to others. One year was enough, Mattheo.”
Y/N turned away from him, tears beginning to flow. But she knew that if she looked at him now, she wouldn't be able to leave. She knew she would break down.
Mattheo grabbed her arm. “Don't do this, Y/N, please.” She didn't turn around, didn't look at him. “Let me go, Mattheo, please.” “If I let you go now, I'll lose you.” “You already have.” Mattheo closed his eyes and let her go. He watched her figure rush down the stairs of the astronomy tower until she was completely gone.
A void spread through him, a void he had never felt before and that was entirely his fault.
Hey, I've currently paused everything that has to do with writing because I have my final exams. As this consists of 54 topics that I have to learn in order to take three written and one oral exam, I haven't been able to concentrate on writing since the beginning of this year. I have so many ideas for my open story, but I spend at least 8 to 10 hours a day studying and then I have no energy to write.
I'm really sorry and I hope you'll read on when I can concentrate on writing again from 20.08, depending on whether I pass or fail.
A/N: Before you read this, I want you to know that my native language is different. So I am very sorry for any mistake. Nevertheless, I hope you will like my story and enjoy it.
Summary: The love story between Alec Volturi and Y/N Swan, was an unexpected one. Both didn't know what to make of each other when they found out they were soul mates. But they worked on it and created a beautiful strong love that not even Bella's hatred for the Volturi could destroy. But as in any good love story, tragedy was impossible to avoid in theirs. It came as unexpectedly as their love itself, and made the Cullens and Bella seem to win, while Alec and the Volturi were losing their light in the darkness.
Alec Volturi x Swan!Female!reader
Main Masterlist / Twilight Masterlist / Come back to me Masterlist
“You look like you've seen a ghost!” Jane, who had bumped into Demetri in the entrance hall of the castle, looked at him with a questioning look.
He only nodded, “Something like that.”
Now she looked at him in confusion. “What do you mean by that?”
Demetri, who until now had only been leaning against the wall and staring at the floor, looked up at Jane. “Y/N is back in Volterra.” A brief silence spread between them. Until Jane found her voice. “Are you sure about this? Demetri, you thought she was back once and then she wasn't!” He nodded. “I know, last time I just wanted it to be her!” Demetri ran his fingers through his hair. “It's true this time, Jane. I'm not the only one who's seen her. Jane she's in Master Caiu's class. Y/N is so close, but….” Jane walked up to Demetri. “But what, Demetri!” He looked at her sadly. “It's true, she can't remember us! She came in and looked at all of us, but didn't recognize any of us. She who changed us can't remember anyone. Nothing, the hours we spent, the stories, the memories! Nothing Jane!”
Jane remained silent, just propped against the wall where Demetri had been leaning just a moment ago. “What are we going to do now? Alec should know. He'll be in the classroom with Master Caius next week, all week, when he walks in there and sees her. His world will be turned upside down once again. As is the case with all of us. Master Aro has disappeared since they met in the library. Master Marcus is in the garden and hasn't moved an inch. Afton and Chelsea are holed up in their room, Felix has gone to tell Santiago and I, I don't know how I can be anywhere near Y/N without wanting to hug her and beg her to remember. We saw her as a sister or a daughter and we're already like that. How will your brother be?”
Jane looked at the floor. “I…” she began, but broke off. Demetri looked at her questioningly. “A year ago, I could have told you how he would react, what would or wouldn't happen. Now it's like I've not only lost the girl I loved and still love like a sister, it's like I've lost my brother in this accident too.”
Jane exhaled, even though it was unnecessary for her, pushing herself away from the wall.
“Since the day Y/N lay in that hospital bed, I lost him. Whether she's dead or not, they both are in a way and there's nothing I can do about it. That's what haunts me the most.”
“Alec?” Jane entered the greenhouse with cautious steps.
The man she spoke to didn't turn around, just continued to look at the statue.
Jane looked at her brother's back for a few seconds. Sighed, turned to the tree that had been planted there to use its leaves for the many candles in the water that were renewed each time. Proof that no one had really let Y/N go.
She plucked off a leaf, walked to the pond, past her brother, and sat down on the cold ground next to the water basin, carefully placing the leaf on the water.
Alec turned his gaze to his sister. “I've just renewed the candles.” His voice was cool and quiet, a sign of the few words he spoke these days.
Jane ignored her brother and took a candle out of her pocket. She smiled at the candle.
The blonde-haired vampire had seen it on a forced shopping trip with Heidi and had taken it immediately, because even though Jane couldn't admit it to herself, at that point, she had never given up hope that fate would eventually bring Y/N back to them.
She places the candle on the leaf and lights it up.
“Why is the candle green?” Alec had stepped closer and looked at his sister in confusion.
Jane didn't take her eyes off the candle, she gave the leaf a gentle push so that it slid closer to the statue.
“Green is the color of hope, Alec. A hope that has been rekindled today, and for every Volturi in this castle.” Jane's gaze lingered on the candle for a few seconds, then she stood up and looked her brother straight in the eye. “Y/N is back in Volterra. She is right now, in Master Caius' class.”
Alec, who hadn't been expecting this news, visibly stumbled back a few steps. “What?”
“She still can't remember, but it's a second chance. I know how you feel about it Alec, but it's not just a second chance for you, it's a second chance for the rest of us. I want my sister back Alec, just like the others!”
Alec stood more steadily again, “This is not your decision!” “It was never yours to keep us all away from her either! Alec, we want our sunshine back. I mean look around Alec,” Jane spread her arms, ”Every single Volturi has been here this year. To put up candles, to tend to the plants, to plant new plants where only one looked sick! Y/N's things were never touched, her corner looks like she'll be right back to continue working on her projects. Master Aro has written down all the stories he knows to pass on to Y/N at some point, Master Marcus is still picking out notes to show her on the piano. Master Caius comes here to renew the colors that have dried up or to put down new exotic colors that Santiago has discovered on his missions. No one has moved on with their lives, everyone had hope you change your mind and now!” Jane walked towards her brother. “Fate has given us all a second chance Alec. You can't ignore that! Please!”
Alec fell silent, looking at his sister. “I can't. You don't understand.” “Then please explain it to me. Don't shut me out anymore. I'm your twin! Of all the people in the world, I understand you best! You know that too.”
“You can't understand that, no one can.” Alec turned to the statue again, his eyes sliding over her features. “I watched her die, Jane. Every damn day in Forks, in that goddamn hospital bed. No matter where I am, no matter what fond memories this place or the castle has with her. Those images I saw every day for months, they overshadow this. She was lying there in that bed, in that condition, because of me. I didn't protect her, I failed and that's the price I'm paying.”
Jane's eyes grew wide. She approached her brother and carefully took his face in her hands. “She's not dead Alec. Do you understand me.” She looked deep into his eyes, her voice becoming insistent, authoritative. “Y/N is alive and she's here. That's the reality. What happened all those months ago wasn't your fault. That car accident was not your fault!” Alec's hands found his sister's. His face contorted into a pained expression. “Alec, I lost you in her accident as well. I grieve not for the sister I found, but for my twin as well. Please, I just want you both back. The fear you have, I understand it, believe me I feel it too. But you and I know that your eternity doesn't exist without Y/N and therefore neither does mine. Take the time you need, but Y/N is here now and you know you can't run away from it anymore, not from your feelings, not from reality. She's alive and that's what matters, not what was, not the what ifs. Only the here and now and if you let her go now, you will never forgive yourself again. No matter how much you try to convince yourself otherwise.”
Jane let go of her brother and disappeared.
Alec stood with his head down for a few moments, looked up at the green candle, which seemed to shine brighter than all the others, and collapsed.
A/N: Before you read this, I want you to know that my native language is different. So I am very sorry for any mistake. Nevertheless, I hope you will like my story and enjoy it.
Summary: The love story between Alec Volturi and Y/N Swan, was an unexpected one. Both didn't know what to make of each other when they found out they were soul mates. But they worked on it and created a beautiful strong love that not even Bella's hatred for the Volturi could destroy. But as in any good love story, tragedy was impossible to avoid in theirs. It came as unexpectedly as their love itself, and made the Cullens and Bella seem to win, while Alec and the Volturi were losing their light in the darkness.
Alec Volturi x Swan!Female!reader
Main Post / Twilight Masterlist / Come back to me Masterlist
" The light in
her eyes was
stolen by the
sadness in
her heart"
- d.s.
“You actually leave your room for once!”
Y/N closed her eyes and smiled faintly. She didn't turn to the voice, however and continued to look at the snow-covered landscape in front of her. “I couldn't stand it in my room anymore. After all, I've already spent a year there and look what it's done to me?”
Rosalie stopped next to the young girl in the clearing. “I'm glad to see you out here. I couldn't see you like this anymore, shut off from everyone and everything in your room.”
Silence fell between the two of them, and Rosalie took advantage of this to take a closer look at Y/N.
She had lost weight, her cheeks were sunken and the sparkle in her eyes had disappeared. But the blonde-haired girl had to smile slightly when she saw what Y/N was holding in her hand. “What are you going to do with your portfolio?”
The woman looked down at the black portfolio in her hands. Y/N had to admit that she had forgotten all about it and the reason why she had come to the meadow. The sight that presented itself to her, the fields, the air and the snowflakes that trickled down on her had distracted her. After all, Y/N was seeing all of this for the first time, otherwise she had only ever looked out her room window, which she now regretted, for the beauty spread out before her was nothing compared to the small glimpse she had from this small window.
Y/N looked back at the woman she had grown to love like a sister.
“Do you want to hear the truth?”
Rosalie nodded warily, not sure if she really wanted to hear it. After all, she partly blamed herself for the state the young girl had been stuck in for a year. “I know I had a path before the accident. A goal that I was following.” Tears came to Y/N's eyes, but she didn't let them run down her face, she had already cried enough. “I know I had my future planned out. I know I had big plans and was looking forward to the future.” The young girl turned to the blonde-haired vampire. “Now when I only try to think about my future, I feel like something is holding me back, something I might find in my lost memory. But no matter how hard I try, I do not remember! This feeling of having lost something that seems so important to me breaks me every day and I don't know what I can do about it.”
Rosalie watched Y/N lose her fight against the tears, wiping them from her cheeks, angry with herself and the world. “Damn, it's like someone hit the damn pause button for a whole fucking year. I don't understand why, Rosalie! It hurts, so much. I want nothing but to be alive. But this feeling of having lost something of myself in these vanished memories keeps me from moving on with my life.”
The young woman looked back at the portfolio sadly. She opened it carefully and flicked through it.
It broke Rosalie's heart to see her like this.
She had always been against the idea of interfering in Y/N's life in this way. But she had promised her father. A promise that still ran down her lungs like poison.
The blonde-haired woman approaches Y/N, who was still engrossed in her drawings. She carefully placed her hands on the young woman's shoulder. “Why are you up here Y/N?” Turning her head to Rosalie, Y/N spoke in a low voice, “To get closure. I can't hold on to the past anymore. I can't wait for my memories to come back out of nowhere anymore. I have to finally live my life again. Otherwise it will be on pause forever.”
They both looked deep into each other's eyes.
Rosalie removed her hands from Y/N's shoulders and took a step back. The blonde nodded in agreement.
With a deep breath, Y/N closed her eyes. She took the first drawing from her portfolio. She opened her eyes again and looked at it closely.
The outline of a face she didn't know and probably never would, that haunted her every night, while the features remained hidden from her.
She lifted the drawing into the air, tears beginning to stream down her face again as her grip on the drawing tightened.
Rosalie stepped beside her again, “Shall I go.” Y/N shook her head. “I don't want to do this alone.” The blonde-haired girl nodded. “Why is it so hard?” “Because it was the only thing that kept you alive last year. But Y/N, it's time to let go.”
“I know.”
With these words, Y/N let go of the drawing. The two friends watched as the sheet was carried out into the wide world by a gust of wind.
They repeated this until there was only one drawing left. Rosalie put her hand over Y/N as she was about to take it out of the folder. “Keep the last one, you might need it one day. Like to remind you what a deep hole you fought your way out of.” Y/N nodded and closed the folder.
“Why did you follow me?” Y/N interrupted the renewed silence between the two of them. “I wanted to give you something. As I said, I couldn't stand to see you wasting away in your room any longer. So I thought I'd give you a little push in the right direction.” She pulled out the envelope she had hidden in her pocket and handed it to the confused-looking Y/N.
The young woman took the envelope, but when she recognized the emblem on the letter, her eyes grew wide and her hands began to tremble. “Rosalie, what have you done?” “I took the liberty of making a folder out of all your drawings and sending it to the school you always wanted to go to. I didn't open it, but they would be idiots not to take you.”
Y/N pressed the black portfolio, which she was still clutching tightly, into Rosalie's hand and tore open the envelope at the same time. She hungrily took in each letter one by one. Then she lowered the letter and looked at Rosalie with wide eyes.
“The School of Arts in Rome, wants me! I'm in!” Y/N jumped into Rosalie's arms. Rosalie hadn't expected it and fell into the snow with Y/N. Neither of them seemed to care though. Y/N hugged Rosalie a little tighter, “Thank you!” “For what?” “For never giving up on me!” “Never!”
“I'm going to Rome!” Y/N shouted not a second later as she entered the Cullen house.
The family, who had just gathered in the living room to discuss a trip, were all looking at each other in confusion.
“What do you mean?” Bella got up from the couch, picked up the letter from her sister and read it.
“I have to pack. Alice, Rosalie you'll help me, won't you?” Without waiting for an answer, Y/N ran up the stairs to her room.
“How?” Bella looked around in confusion. “I sent in her drawings. It's time for Y/N to find her own way. Accept it or leave it. You can't stop it either way.” Rosalie turned away from Bella and walked up the stairs. Happy to see Y/N with life energy again.
“Say what's on your mind, brother.” Caius was busy putting the last drawing pads on the tables in his classroom.
“You're the one of us who hates humans the most and yet you've been teaching them art for a year, why?” Aro sat down in Caius' teacher's chair while Marcus simply stood at the window and looked out. Demetri, Afton, Felix and Chelsea stood at the front door, keeping watch, even though none of the humans that were about to come were a threat to their masters.
“First of all, there are new students today. I'm starting my first class of my own.” Caius placed the last block and straightened up to look at Aro. “Everyone has dealt with her disappearance differently brother. She has changed my view slightly. I honor her memory by sharing my knowledge of the art with others.”
Even after a year, every single Volturi found it hard to say Y/N's name and yet everyone had begun something to honor her, even if most didn't always show it.
Aro nodded in understanding, stood up and clapped his hands. “We'll leave you to it then. Your students should be here any moment.” Caius nodded, but didn't really listen anymore.
Marcus turned to Caius to say something to him too, but a knock interrupted him.
“Come in,” Caius called out, trying to put on his best smile. However, when the door opened, the smile fell from his face, while every Volturi present couldn't believe their eyes.
Y/N clutched her folder tighter in her hand as she entered the room. She was unsettled as several pairs of eyes stared at her. “Sorry…” She cleared her throat, “Is this Professor Caius Volturi's class?”
A/N: Before you read this, I want you to know that my native language is different. So I am very sorry for any mistake. Nevertheless, I hope you will like my story and enjoy it.
Summary: The love story between Alec Volturi and Y/N Swan, was an unexpected one. Both didn't know what to make of each other when they found out they were soul mates. But they worked on it and created a beautiful strong love that not even Bella's hatred for the Volturi could destroy. But as in any good love story, tragedy was impossible to avoid in theirs. It came as unexpectedly as their love itself, and made the Cullens and Bella seem to win, while Alec and the Volturi were losing their light in the darkness.
Alec Volturi x Swan!Female!reader
Main Post / Twilight Masterlist / Come back to me Masterlist
"I will meet you at the
graveyard
Where you lay down, where
you stay now
Faced up, cold heart, no
longer by my side now
Wish we were together, now I
don´t know when I will see you"
- Cleffy
Y/N smiled towards the sun and ran her hand through the high grass as she followed the man in front of her.
"It's still funny to see you in the sunlight." She laughed. "No one can see us behind the castle, the perfect place… what do you always say? To twinkle in peace and undisturbed ." Y/N nodded with a smile, pausing for a moment, thinking. She started to smile, then ran and jumped onto the man's back.
Gasping slightly in surprise, he placed his hands on Y/N's legs so he could carry her better and laughed softly. "You know you can't make me fall, right?" Y/N wrapped her arms around the black-haired man's neck, "It's still worth a try. I didn't realize there was so much space behind the castle and I've almost been here a year."
The black haired one shrugged his shoulders, "You weren't supposed to know either since we were going to build you something nice on a piece of this land and don't get off topic. You're just too lazy to walk. That's why you jumped on my back." Y/N looked at the back of the black-haired man's head and stuck his tongue out at him. "Sticking your tongue out is for 5 year olds." He laughed. Y/N rolled her eyes and mumbled something that sounded like 'grandpa'. Before the black-haired one could say anything to that, Y/N interrupted him, "You said something about building and beautiful and for me."
The man did not answer, just shook his head in amusement, removed his right hand from Y/N's leg and pointed at something in front of him. Y/N looked up and couldn't believe it. She lightly tapped the man's shoulder, who understood her sign and let her off his back. "You're lying this isn't for me, is it?" Y/N looked at the large glass building in front of her, shaking her head in bewilderment. In the meadow stood a huge glass greenhouse, the kind she had drawn over and over again in her notebook.
"Go on," her companion whispered to Y/N. Smiling, she looked at him, paused briefly and blinked. Y/N looked closely at the man in front of her, but she could only blurrily make out his features, his eyes, his nose and his lips. Confused, she shook her head, but turned around again and walked towards the entrance. She paused in front of the doors, slowly, her hands trembling with excitement, she grabbed the door handle.
"What's wrong?" said the man behind her, "I'm scared." "Of what?" "Of the future."
Cold hands wrapped around her waist. She was pulled against the black-haired man's body. "As long as I and the others are with you, nothing will happen to you. I will protect you for the rest of our lives. I love you Y/N." The young girl leaned against the body behind her, feeling protected, safe and loved. "I love you too."
The man released his arms from around her, kissing her cheek. Smiling, Y/N pushed the door handle down and took a step into the greenhouse. But as she took that step inside, darkness fell around her and the ground beneath her gave away. She fell as she was swallowed up by the darkness. Y/N screamed, but her screams simply echoed back to her.
Just as the young girl thought she would fall forever, her fall was caught by the surface of a lake. Y/N floated on the same spot for a few seconds and looked around in panic. She didn't know where she was, just as she was about to scream for help again, she felt a tug on her ankles. Panicked, she tried to swim away from the spot, but the tug turned into a pull. Y/N's body was pulled into the depths of the lake, while the girl tried helplessly and with all her strength to swim back to the surface. Her lungs filled with water, her arms became limp and the cold of the water began to suffocate her.
Y/N woke up gasping for air and screaming. She immediately looked around in panic, relief spreading through her as she recognized the outline of her room.
Y/N realized that it was just another one of her all night nightmares, which made the feeling of relief disappear immediately.
Her hair was wet with sweat, her clothes were sticking to her body, tears began to stream down her face again and her breathing wasn't slowing down, it was speeding up. Y/N felt lost and exhausted. She wanted everything around her to disappear so that she could finally be at peace.
"Y/N!" Carlisle had entered her room and looked sadly at the girl. Wrapping her arms around her body, Y/N looked up and towards Carlisle. The tears slowly took over as she tried to form a sentence. The blonde-haired vampire didn't know what to do. Ever since Y/N had left the hospital and moved to Alaska with them, there were hardly any nights when she slept through the night. Every night the young Swan would wake up screaming, let herself calm down, only to spend the rest of the day hiding in her room staring or drawing.
Carlisle's thoughts were interrupted when Y/N whispered barely audible to herself, "What's wrong with me Carlisle." She repeated this sentence over and over again, beginning to sway back and forth. The vampire took several steps towards her bed, sat down next to her and took the young girl in his arms. Y/N immediately clawed at him and hid her head against his chest. "I wish I could tell you." He whispered to her, tightening his embrace slightly.
"Do you hear that Bella?" All the Cullens were sitting downstairs in the living room, listening to what was going on in Y/N's room, as they always did. Rosalie had jumped up and was pacing back and forth. She could no longer bear the pain of the girl she loved like a sister.
"It will get better eventually…" Bella tried to keep talking, but Rosalie wouldn't let her. The blonde turned to Bella, "Better? This has been going on for a year! It's not getting any better." "She needs time." Bella looked out the window, watching her daughter with Jacob and smiled. Rosalie followed her gaze and let out an annoyed snort. "What?"
Rosalie only shook her head. "When Edward left you, you suffered for five months. Nightmares, no hunger, no sense of life anymore. Now you have your happy ending. Edward by your side as a husband, a child that is not only protected by vampires, but also by a wolf. You live your life, while with a good feeling of conscience you let Y/N experience the hell you had to suffer for only 5 months. Y/N will not get better as long as you keep her away from Alec. It's going to get worse and the reason for that pain is you…." "Rosalie enough!" Esme intervened and tried to calm her daughter down. But she could no longer bear to remain silent, so she just kept talking. "Do you want to lock Y/N up forever and hide her from the world? I don't know if you've noticed Bella, she'll get older, we won't. Y/N will have questions. What do you want to tell her?"
Bella jumped up, "Y/N will have no involvement in this world anymore!" Emmett, who had let his mate speak, laughed, "That's not a decision you can make for her." "I've already made that decision." "That's right and look what you've done Bella." Rosalie literally spat out her name. "Y/N is unrecognizable. All life has drained out of her, any joy she felt has died with your decision, as has the future the universe had made for her."
Bella laughed mockingly. "You want me to take her to him? To that monster?" "He wasn't a monster, not with her." Startled, Bella looked at Jasper. "You too?" He nodded. "We all do Bella, we all think you didn't have the right to decide for your sister." "But…" Bella was interrupted. "Did you know that all the drawings your sister has done in the past year are of Alec? She only draws his outline, his hair and the contours of his face, never anything else. Because she can't remember his features, his lips, his nose or his eyes. That is exactly what hurts her the most. She sees him every night, every night he makes her feel whole again and then she wakes up and can't remember his face and the feeling of being whole again is gone."
Edward looked at his wife, he was always on her side but not this time. Bella sat down in defeat. "I can't leave her to him. He's a monster to me."
"I was that to those around me too, until the day Alice came. Alec had changed for Y/N, as had all the Volturi. Just like I changed for Alice." Jasper looked at his lover and she placed a hand on his cheek and kissed him. "Besides, it's not about what you want Bella. It's about your sister and what's best for her." Emmett looked at her urgently. "How do you think I should do it, take her to Rome and drop her off with the Volturi?" "No, you've interfered enough, we all have. Let her go her way and don't stop her anymore." Esme walked up to Bella and placed a hand on her cheek, "Y/N and Alec belong together, the universe has foreseen it. Even if you don't want it to be true, you can't stand in the way of it. You see what this has brought you. One soul is suffering in Alaska and the other is suffering in Rome."
"If he's suffering so much, why hasn't he ever been here to get her? Why did he just give up on Y/N like that?" Bella looked at Esme questioningly. "Because you confirmed his greatest fear. The reason being that something happened to Y/N that would cost her her life and even if it didn't this time, it could still happen from his point of view."
Alec stood in the greenhouse, as he often did when he had no tasks. He could still remember the day he brought Y/N here for the first time.
The first time she walked across the stone-paved path, smelling every flower that had been planted around her. He remembered how Y/N had reached the end of the path and looked with fascination at the fountain with the four pools. Alec remembered how she had jumped into his arms when he had shown her the little corner where she could sit down and paint, draw, read or write.
He remembered the evenings he'd spent here with her, how often he'd come here after his duties as High Guard only to find her lost in a book or covered in paint because she'd spent hours drawing on a painting.
Alec had to smile, those were the good memories he associated with this place, but they were no longer the only ones. In addition, there were the bad memories, the ones he had never thought possible in this place, and with these memories Alec's smile disappeared again.
The vampire remembered destroying the fountain with his own bare hands, the same way he had ripped out every single flower when he realized that Y/N's laughter would never echo off the glass walls again. He realized that he would never walk in here again and find his mate covered in paint or so engrossed in a book that not even the end of the world could tear her away. He would never again be able to watch her sleep under the stars, would never again be able to feel her warmth.
All he had left was the greenhouse, which had been repaired after his rampage. But instead of the colorful flowers, it had turned into dark colors. Instead of the fountain, there was now a large pond with a statue built by Master Caius on a pedestal in the center. The statue bore the face of the love of his life, wearing a beautiful dress, while her hair perfectly framed her smiling face. On the pedestal on which she stood, the words "In memory of the sunshine that changed our lives forever and reached every cold heart" were engraved. Leaves with candles floated in the water in the pond, as they had done since the day the statue had been placed there. The greenhouse was no longer a place of joy, it had become a memorial to Y/N. Alec loathed it and yet he came here every spare second to stand in front of her statue and mourn.
"Why do you do this to yourself every day?" Alec flinched, but recognized the voice and relaxed again. He turned his head to Marcus, looking at his master, who was watching him with sad eyes.
"Because by now it doesn't matter where I am in the castle, I see her everywhere." Alec paused, looking back at the statue. "I'm standing in the throne room, waiting for her to come in with her face and fingers stained with paint to pull Master Caius from his throne to look at her new painting or because she needs some urgent advice from him. I stand in the library looking for her bored face as Master Aro tells her the same story for the hundredth time. I stand in the ballroom expecting you to give her piano or dance lessons. I look through my bedroom window and wait for Demetri, Felix, Santiago and Y/N to fight and shoot each other with Nerf guns all over again. I walk past the secretary and wait for Afton, Chelsea and Y/N to scare her. I go into the kitchen and expect her to stand there with my sister cooking something for herself while she and Jane make fun of something." Alec's voice failed him. He turned to Marcus, looking at him helplessly. "She's not here and yet she's everywhere. Some days it feels like the walls of the castle are closing in on me, trying to crush me as they whisper her name."
Marcus took a step towards him and placed a hand on the younger man's shoulder. "It almost sounds like you're being haunted by someone who isn't dead, but still alive." Defeated, Alec hung his head. "I'm tired, Master. Ever since I left Y/N at the hospital, I've been wondering if I did the right thing. I just wanted to give her a second chance, as a normal person, to protect her. But the more days go by, the more I long for her." Alec stopped talking, which made Marcus look at him questioningly, realizing that Alec's next words were difficult for him. "Y/N and my almost forever. Will haunt me for the rest of my immortal life and I don't know if I can take it."
"Then why don't you do something about it?" "I'm afraid." "Of what?" "That she won't feel the same way I do about her, that if I take her back. Back to the world of vampires, especially the world of the Volturi, that this incident will repeat itself and she'll die this time." Marcus tightened his grip on the black-haired man's shoulder, looking deep into his eyes. "You loved her, she loved you and you'll never be the same again, we all know that Alec. If you feel that way and you can't get rid of these fears to bring Y/N back to us, then you have to let her go. Otherwise it will kill you. I had to learn that lesson the hard way."
With that, Marcus let go of him, turned and left the greenhouse, while Alec sank to his knees and placed a hand on his chest just above his heart. Even though it wasn't beating, he felt it breaking in his chest again.
I can't remember who all wanted to be tagged. If you see this post here, write your name in the comments below who wants to be tagged for Come back to me
Can you do a oneshot of Bella Swans sister being Alec mate and she's just all smiles and rainbows and just enjoying life, while the Cullen are trying there hardest to keep her away from Alec
