~I'm Forever Confused~

Kimberly, 23, Sup.

[arrghigiveup]

[kimijill]

I’m crying

[wellyfullofale]

I think next thursday is gonna be the best day of my entire life tbh

[thequeenofsunflowers-deactivate]

reblog for next thursday to be the best day of your life

[sstudyblr]

not risking it

[kimijill]

Next Thursday is my 21st so hopefully 🙂

[sexxyysoulaan]

If you’re reading this I hope in 2019 you get

Financial Stability

Love

Job oppotunities

To travel

Peace

[gothicprep]

sorry boys, but I already got my eyes on a guy who’s not interested

[meghanmclovin]

You know what’s really hot? Not having to guess someone’s feelings or intentions

[its-im-possible]

“Falling for someone doesn’t mean they’ll catch you.”

R.H Sin, Whiskey words & a shovel III

[atomicbombing]

[fihli]

me: why do my boobs hurt / why am i constantly hungry / why do i want to bodyslam everyone who speaks to me into the earth / why am i tired / etc

my period: hello

me:

[dankmemeuniversity]

[coltre]

I love when my friends close their eyes and put their heads on my shoulder.. rest bitch

[k-eke]

Let’s go for a walk

[0101101101]

[excima]

@tomfordvelvetorchid

[homo-ousios]

turn the sound on for the love of god

[fallcaesar]

Santa is on strike due to global warming.  All presents this year will be delivered by Sasha the Christmas Tiger.  Milk and cookies may not be sufficient.

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

“MUST BRING PRESENTS TO GOOD CHILDREN”

“Yes good”

“AND EAT THE BAD ONES”

“Wait no”

“EAT THEM”

“sasha no”

[tolkientrash]

@burstofhope the Christmas tiger is watching

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

She is making a list

It is not easy with her paws but she is making it

[iguanamouth]

shes almost here

[miscriont]

Okay fine this is the ONE Christmas thing I will reblog before Thanksgiving BUT THAT’S IT

[craptaztic]

SASHA’S BACK ON MY DASH!

[mace-from-outerspace]

Y’all better behave, you have two months

[aseriouscomedian]

You better watch out

You better watch out

You better watch out

You better watch out

[canadianstuck]

One of the funniest things I ever experienced was when I went to go see John Mulaney live, and halfway through a bit about how expensive college in the States is, he looked down at the sleeve of his suit jacket and just. stopped. dead halt, mid sentence.

And after like three seconds, where we’re all trying to figure out the punchline because the story clearly hadn’t ended, and John Mulaney quietly says, “Has there been tinfoil on my buttons the whole goddamn show?”

He’d taken his suit to the drycleaner, and they’d wrapped the buttons on the sleeves and the coat with tinfoil to protect them, and John Mulaney didn’t notice until half-way through his set, and was SO FLABBERGASTED that he never did finish the story about college and instead did five minutes on how stupid it was that his buttons were reflecting the light and he just didn’t notice, and in that moment I understood more about John Mulaney as a person than I ever have.

[ournameisfun]

during one of his portland shows, he noticed this like 7 year old girl in the front row and asked her (and her parents) if she ‘is aware that she is physically here right now’ or if she was just brought along. turns out her favorite john mulaney bit is the “and I’m new in town” bit and that she’s seen all his stuff. He was so shocked and discomforted by the fact a SEVEN YEAR OLD has seen his shows, that he couldn’t get through a bit about donating to charity without interrupting himself at least three times to import good life lessons on this small child, as if that makes up for all the horrible things he’s said that she heard

[sammysausage]

When I saw him in Ft. Lauderdale, there was a bar in the lobby that people kept leaving to go to. At one point, a guy in the front row just got up and BOOKED IT to get drinks. John Mulaney looked over at a woman who was next to the empty seat and asked, “Are you with him? What’s his name?”

She was, in fact, with him, and she did tell him her date’s name. John Mulaney considered this, looked around, and unplugged his microphone. Leaning in to us, he told us that we were going to trick this guy so fuckin hard. He said, “At some point during the show, I am going to stop and say, ‘Well, you guys know what they say here in Ft. Lauderdale,’ and then you guys are all going to scream back ‘WE LOVE MILKSHAKES!’ He’ll be so confused.”

He then continued on with the show as normal, the drinks guy returned to his seat, and that was that for quite a long time. We thought he had forgotten about it until, at some point during what I believe was his McDonald’s drive-thru bit, he shrugged his shoulders and said, “You guys know what they say here in Ft. Lauderdale…”

Naturally, we erupted with “WE LOVE MILKSHAKES” and John Mulaney SWUNG around to face the drinks guy and said, “I bet you’re real confused now, huh, JASON?!”

[windyvalleyzone]

ah so john mulaney is a chaotic neutral cryptid

[jxhn-mulaney]

i saw him last night and there was a good ten minute interlude where a woman told him everything she found wrong with his suit, including that his pants were too high waisted to which he replied “that’s where my hips are” and someone in the back shouted “look at that high waisted man he’s got feminine hips!” and he yelled back “that’s my joke! i’m offended!!”

[prozdvoices]

my cat

[catchymemes]

[luvnaught]

this is the only food critic I’ll accept at my restaurant.

[animalwoonz]